Take My Hand
by Female-Fighter
Summary: Two events, one good, one bad, two lovers caught in the crossroads unsure of how to feel. Both events about to change two lives forever. Both want to stay strong for the other but will fate step in between them? Warning Mpreg
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!  
A/N- Throwing this out there now, this has no connection to any of my previous Ouran fics.

Tamaki played with his hands while he waited. God how he hated waiting. He had been doing it for several years now and he still hated it. Playing with his hand he spun the ring on his finger, fourth in from the thumb. The ring he loved and never took off. Married to the one he loved for four years. Sure their friends thought they were too young to be married at twenty-three but in their minds why wait any longer? They knew they were in love back then, that it was a true everlasting love and nothing would ever change that so waiting was pointless. Now they were twenty-seven and their marriage so far was a happy one and right now that didn't seem about ready to change. He himself was working with his father, getting ready to take over completely for him soon. He loved his job and the house he and the one he loved lived in. It was just as big as his father's second estate which growing up he thought was small but now he liked the cozy feeling it gave off.  
"Tamaki Suoh?" Looking up from his hands he turned to see a woman by a door looking for him. Hoping he would hear what he wanted this time he stood up and followed her to the back.

Kyouya walked into his home after a long day working for his father, a very long day. It was good to finally be home, maybe tonight after dinner he would watch a movie in the living room holding the one he loved. He still couldn't get over the fact that it had been four years already. Sure didn't feel like it but no matter how many years past he knew he would always love the one he wore this ring for. Hanging up his jacket and placing his briefcase in the office he searched for the one he knew would be here. They always got home first, ahhhh, what he would give for that to be him. But, this time not even the norm was the reason he knew they would be home, he knew they had something to do earlier and hadn't been planning on going back to work after.

Seeing them on the couch in the living room, back facing the doorway he was walking in on he wrapped his arms around their shoulders.  
"I'm home Tamaki. How was your day?"  
Tamaki turned his head to kiss Kyouya's lips the best he could.  
"Welcome home. It was alright I guess. How was work?"  
"Same as every day. So how did it go before? I know you had an appointment, I saw your post-it note reminder for yourself on the fridge this morning." Resting his head on Tamaki's shoulder he waited. Tamaki turned away to look ahead of him, the happy smile of seeing Kyouya left his face. "They said it was negative, again." Seeing the sadness washing over Tamaki's face, Kyouya walked around the couch to sit next to him. Putting an arm back around his shoulders he pulled him over to lean on him.  
"I know its hard Tamaki but try not to get discouraged. It will happen I promise."  
"We've been trying for three years now. Maybe it will never happen, may the doctors we saw were wrong."  
"Hey now, where is the man I married hiding because I know he wouldn't just give up and be defeated like this."  
"I guess you're right. I'm just bummed that's all I guess."  
"Don't worry about it so much. If we keep trying it will happen, okay?"  
"Okay."  
"Good, now what do you say we have a nice dinner? One we haven't done in a while and then we come back in here and watch something together."  
"That does sound really nice." Tamaki loved and couldn't get over how romantic Kyouya was. Not that he didn't think he wasn't before but since they've been married, at least once a week he would suggest something commoners called a 'date night', it was always a really special night for them both. "I love you just so you know." Lifting his head off Kyouya's shoulder he kissed his cheek and sat up.  
"I love you too."  
Standing up they walked hand in hand into the kitchen to tell the chief what they wanted for dinner.

Tamaki walked in their living room waiting for Kyouya to get home from work. Technically they both left work at five each night but he would actually leave at five and had a closer commute. Kyouya rarely left at five because of Yoshio and Akito, whom he worked for and then had an hour commute on top of it. As far as he knew Kyouya liked his job though he knew he wished he got home sooner. Having an eight hour shift and then an hour commute in the morning and at night, made it hard for it to be a job he loved. He told Tamaki that living with him turned him into someone who always wanted to be at home but Tamaki really didn't believe him. He always took Kyouya as a home body. He stood behind the couch watching the news report quickly before he changed it to something less depressing. Hearing a strange noise behind him he spun around to see Kyouya inches from him.  
"Woah!" Kyouya knocked him over the back of the couch. He knew right away where this was going. Their couch was a bad as their bed in that respect. Smiling at Tamaki's silent agreement he jumped over to be on top of him. Kissing Tamaki's neck he moved up his body only until he got to his face. Then he made sure to save his lips for last.  
"Don't you want to save this until after we eat?" He barely got the words out as he softly laughed from Kyouya's lips moving around his face.  
"We can do this again after dinner as well."  
_*Again?*_ Someone was in a good mood today it seemed. Not that he would eve say no to Kyouya when it came to this. In fact they were both animals when it came to this, thank god the housekeeper and people on staff knew better then to walk into any room they were together in unless asked to.

Kyouya extended a hand to help Tamaki stand up off the floor. One day they would manage to not roll off, at least neither of them hit the coffee table this time. It was always such a mood killer when that happened. Finding their clothes around the room they got dressed.  
"Kyouya, I've been thinking,"  
"Uh oh."  
"Jerk, _anyway. _Maybe it's a good thing this hasn't been working for us."  
"Okay?" He was buttoning his shirt as he listened to Tamaki.  
"Well we would never be able to do what we do as often or as freely."  
"That is true. So does that mean you don't want to try anymore?"  
"No, I still do, definitely. It was just a thought. Do you want to stop?"  
"Well I am the one that brought up the whole idea, so no, I don't want to stop."  
"Okay. Then forget I said anything."  
Once dressed, they walked into the kitchen to see what was for dinner.

There were way too many stairs to climb in this house. After dinner Tamaki asked if Kyouya was serious about doing some _light _after dinner exercise. When he just looked at him like he was crazy Tamaki took that as a yes. Now he raced upstairs with Kyouya close behind him. Just reaching the top floor Kyouya took his hand to pull him closer. Already at each other they stumbled to get to their room. Both fumbled for the door, unwilling to stop and open it. They swung it open and nearly dropped on the floor just inside. Tamaki managed to close it before throwing Kyouya on the bed. Both loved how young the night still was right now. Tamaki may have always hated getting negative test results back but, he would never hate all the sex that came with constantly trying to have a baby. After they had been married for a year Kyouya brought up the idea of starting a family. Since neither could find any real reason to wait Tamaki agreed. After trying for a year they decided to go see a doctor who said to keep trying so they did. It was bound to happen sooner or later; they just had to try at the right time. Unsure what that right time was they tried often. They aimed for at least once a day and different times of the day but during their work hours was hard so they usually tried at night. They only days they didn't try were the days Tamaki would get a negative reading on the pregnancy test the doctor gave him. Those days they just sat and hung out together for the day which both found thoroughly enjoyable as well. Normally they weren't as wild as they were today but all day Kyouya had been fired up, maybe because it had been a really good day at work and he got out early for once. Whatever the case it didn't seem like Tamaki was complaining.

Tamaki laid in Kyouya's arms in their bed, another absolutely amazing night. Kyouya kept caressing his neck with kisses as they laid there just listening to the others breathe. Tamaki moved to get closer, he loved being wrapped in the other's arms, he loved feeling the gentle rise and fall of his chest while running his fingers along Kyouya's chest curves and lines.  
"I love having you in my life Kyouya. I know I could never be this happy with anyone else."  
"Glad I do that for you Tamaki. I love you too."  
"When we finally do have a child I'm positive they will love you as much as I do because you are amazing. They won't love you as much as I do though because then I will get jealous." He laughed gently as his kissed Kyouya's chest.  
Even though Kyouya knew Tamaki was joking he could see it happening.  
"I have a good feeling it will be soon Tamaki. Soon our family will start to grow."  
Nestling in even closer Tamaki smiled as he fell asleep with the thought of them having and raising a baby together. He could already tell Kyouya would make such a great dad.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Chapter 1 completed, what do you all think? Chapter 2 is started so should be up soon. Please review, thanks.  
~Femalefighter~


	2. Event 1

Chapter 2

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!

Kyouya stepped out of the shower to see Tamaki's sitting up in bed.  
"One day, I'll be the one who gets to stay in bed while you get ready for work."  
"Well then tell your father you want to work closer to home."  
"I'm sure he would agree. You know, because he is like that."  
"Nice thought though." Getting up he walked into the bathroom to shower so he could get ready for work. This was their daily routine every work day. Kyouya would get up first, shower, talk to Tamaki for a few minutes and then get dressed while Tamaki showered. Both would meet up downstairs for breakfast before parting ways for the day. As simple, boring, mundane, and every word in between their mornings were they still thoroughly enjoyed them though.

With work keeping them busy and their nights spent with each other in one way, shape, or form. Days turned into weeks which turned into months. Tamaki snuggled closer to Kyouya as they tried to catch their breath. He really loved these wild nights. He could have sworn something new was tried tonight and he wasn't going to complain. He needed to figure out how Kyouya learned these things so maybe he could come up with one. Playing with Kyouya's hair his hand moved across his forehead and down his cheek.  
"You feel warm are you feeling okay?"  
"Are you really going to ask that Tamaki? After what just took place are you going to tell me I feel warm?"  
"Do you feel sick?"  
"No, and I wouldn't have agreed to tonight if I did." Moving so Tamaki's head rested on his chest he started drift off for the night. He was used to strange things popping out of Tamaki's mouth. He had to for this marriage to work. Personally he wasn't going to dwell on it and he hoped Tamaki wouldn't either. They had been all over the place and each other for quite some time this evening. If he hadn't been warm he would have been worried.

Kyouya woke up to his alarm surprised to see Tamaki already up. Sitting up to reach for his glasses Tamaki stopped him by popping a thermometer in his mouth.  
"What are you doing?" He questioned in a mumbled way from having something under his tongue and sticking out of his mouth.  
"No talking or it won't be accurate. I'm trying to see if you have a fever since you still feel warm to me." So it wasn't a dream, he really did feel a hand over his head before he woke up. Kyouya felt his forehead and then touched Tamaki's. He didn't feel it. Hearing it start to beep signaling it was done Tamaki pulled it out to read the digital number.  
"Ah ha you do have a fever see!" Shoving it in his face Kyouya read the screen which showed one hundred point five. So Tamaki was right, he did have a fever it seemed.  
"I feel fine though so don't start freaking out on me."  
"Stay home so it doesn't get worse. Please."  
"Can't do it but let's take a break for a couple of days. I bet both of our bodies could use a break."  
"Okay, if you want to."  
He kissed Tamaki's forehead before getting up to for work, hoping that would calm him.

For two days Tamaki monitored his fever, it didn't drop but it didn't rise, worrying him. Kyouya still felt fine though and being the doctor Tamaki relaxed a little more then he would have for anyone else. If Kyouya wasn't concerned about it then it was probably nothing.  
"Today I'll be home early since its physicals today."  
"Describe early, the last one you had you got home late."  
"Well. It's supposed to be done by one so I am planning on being home early."  
"Well, I have another appointment today at one so you may just beat me home. I feel really good about today, I have this feeling that all our trying paid off."  
Kyouya smiled as he pulled Tamaki close, seeing him excited made him excited. Now he wished he could go with him just like he used to when they first started trying to get pregnant. Tamaki had been excited for a while now so maybe today really was the day they got good news.  
"See you later then." He wanted to say something else, something about wishing for the best but nothing sounded right.  
"Today we could find out that we are having a baby after three years of trying. This could be the start of the best coming nine months of our lives and all you can say is 'see you later'?" He was bouncing around Kyouya, teasing him. Smiling, trying to hold back the laughter from the crazy man in front of him. He grabbed Tamaki's shoulders to dip him. He could feel Tamaki laughing under him as they kissed. Standing him back up, flustered like a high school girl he grabbed his briefcase and walked out. That seemed to show Tamaki how excited he was.

Every six months Yoshio made all of his employees' par take in physicals. He didn't want them to collapse on the job or go without the proper screenings. It would look bad if his staff was sickly. Kyouya couldn't complain, it meant two times a year he had the chance to go home early. Unless an emergency happened like last time. At eleven he walked into the private room to get this all taken care of. Going home early sounded great, any day he could was a good day but if Tamaki did find out that he was pregnant then today would be a great day.

Tamaki was sprawled across the couch watching TV. Looking at the clock on the cable box he noticed it was already three-thirty.  
"Home by one, yea okay." He went out to the doctors at one and was back before two. Kyouya couldn't get home early if his life depended on it. Still, he should have called. Well phones worked both ways, so with that, he go up and walked to the kitchen. If Kyouya was stuck in traffic than he would pick up his cell, he wasn't surprised when it went to voicemail. That meant he was working.  
"Typical." Hanging the house phone up, he walked out of the kitchen again. It seemed pointless to stay here. Going back to the living room he popped a DVD in the machine and got comfy.

Hanging out in the kitchen Tamaki watched the chief making dinner. He had tried to wait for Kyouya to come home but it was almost seven and he was starving.  
"Hear anything yet Master Tamaki?"  
Looking over at the housekeeper who was setting the table he just shook his head no while he grabbed a carrot off the cutting board. Kyouya rarely ran this late, something major must be happening.  
"Master Tamaki I thought you would be happy to know that Master Kyouya's car is coming up the driveway."  
"Oh finally! Thank you!" Finally he could get this out of his system. He was going to lose it soon if Kyouya didn't get home. Jumping out of his chair like a little kid he ran out of the kitchen and down the hall to meet Kyouya at the front door.  
"Hi, Kyouya welcome home!" Seeing his face come out of the closet as he hung up his coat Tamaki's cheerful attitude dropped. "Is everything okay Kyouya?"  
"Tamaki we have to talk."  
"Kyouya? What is it?" Tamaki forgot everything he wanted to tell him as Kyouya walked past him towards the kitchen. He never saw Kyouya like this before. What could be wrong? Following behind him he walked slower to try and figure it out.

Kyouya asked everyone in the kitchen to leave for a few minutes and give them some time alone. Now Tamaki was getting scared. The chief turned off the stove and walked out with the housekeeper to give them the asked for space. Tamaki sat at the head of the table just watching Kyouya as he walked to the other end. It seemed strange that he would avoid the other four chairs between them.  
"Kyouya your scaring me, what is going on?"  
"Tamaki, forgive me for there is no easy way to tell you this and the last thing I want to do is upset you."  
"You're worrying me more by not telling me."  
"I have cancer." Bluntly seemed to be the best course of action though his mouth and voice box didn't want to function at the moment.  
"What?" The surprise showed in Tamaki's voice. He had to have heard wrong there was just no way that could be true.  
"I have kidney cancer and while it hasn't spread out it's at a stage two. They found it during my physical today. Once they started trying to figure out why I had a fever they found it. I would have called you but I had been in one test and screening after another all day."  
"But…no!…Your still so young…and…healthy."  
Tamaki was losing it, he could feel it, this couldn't be happening. Not now. Covering his mouth with his hands he tried to breath only making the tears start to fall.  
"Please don't cry Tamaki. While it is a stage two they could still do surgery. I plan to fight this Tamaki. I want you to know that. I'm not ready to leave you." Seeing Tamaki only crying harder he got up and knelt down next to him. He knew Tamaki wouldn't take the news well. He wouldn't have told him if he didn't have to.  
"Your crying like I am already dead, please don't."  
"Already? So then you are? Oh God…please not that."  
Tamaki cried into his arms over the table as more tears poured from his eyes. Kyouya slapped himself for his poor choice of words.  
"No I'm not. I am going to defeat this for you Tamaki. I promise I will not leave you."  
Tamaki didn't say anything but pushed out of his chair and ran out of the kitchen. Kyouya stood up though he did not move. Both needed to breathe on their own for a second. Looking over at the stove he saw hot water for tea, perfect, that would help.

Grabbing two cups from the cabinet and the serving tray he made a calming tea both he and Tamaki enjoyed. They both needed something to relax, even though he hid it from Tamaki, internally he was a wreak. He hadn't had much time to really let it all out yet. Once they came across something it was one test after another, he didn't even have time to process it all until a little while ago. While the tea was seeping he opened the pot with dinner. He wondered if it was done, he hadn't eaten all day and he figured Tamaki had been waiting for him to get home before having the chief start this. Trying a little it tasted fine, it was just stew. Since the weather was colder being the end of November it was the perfect dish. Serving it into two bowls he carried the tray upstairs to their room.

Kyouya was grateful that their bedroom door wasn't closed all the way so he could push it open with his foot. Seeing Tamaki in a ball on their bed he placed the tray on their dresser so he could have his hands.  
"Look at you, you're a mess." Pulling a tissue from the box on Tamaki's beside table he lifted his head to wipe his face. "You're just like a child, honestly." He had a small smile on his face as Tamaki sat up taking a new tissue to dry his face better and blow his nose from crying so long and hard.  
"I want to help you Kyouya, any way I can."  
"I know you do." Kissing Tamaki's forehead he placed a hand on his cheek just caressing it.  
"I love you Tamaki."  
Placing his own hand on Kyouya's he look out at nothing. "I love you too."  
They stayed just as they were for a while until Tamaki started to hiccup from crying. Kyouya got up to grab the tray he brought up and placed it on the bed. Handing a bowl to Tamaki he watched as he just stared at it.  
"Eat something Tamaki."  
"While I appreciate the gesture I'm just not that hungry. Sorry."  
"Well I haven't eaten all day and am starving so eat with me because you know I hate eating alone."He also knew Tamaki was lying and didn't want him to starve himself because of this news. He watched as Tamaki grabbed his fork and stabbed a small piece of meat and brought it to his lips. He could tell Tamaki had something heavy on his mind and he had this feeling it had nothing to do with him. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't figure it out. He was keeping himself so well guarded.

Both practically inhaled their bowls of stew but decided to wait before going downstairs for more. Kyouya sat staring into his tea cup, running his hand around the rim. He wished he could be like Tamaki right now and just cry his heart out. Never in a million years did he ever think he would have cancer. And he felt fine too, no symptoms, no pain, nothing. Who knows what would have happened if he hadn't had that physical today. Tamaki would have probably hounded him about seeing a doctor sooner or later since he had been checking his fever for the past two days but what if he never went. He couldn't believe that in a blink of an eye his whole world could ever get flipped upside down like this.

0o0o0o0o

I bet most weren't expecting this turn of events. Hope no one hates me too much for what I did but this story is just getting started. Please leave thoughts and comments.  
~Femalefighter~


	3. Event 2

Chapter 3

Disclaimer- I own nothing!

That night neither slept though they never spoke a word to each other. When they heard Kyouya's alarm go off from him forgetting to turn it off they both sat up. They both had work, technically, but neither were going for obvious reasons. Tamaki didn't want to leave Kyouya's side right now and Kyouya didn't want to push him away. In all honesty he was scared, scared of any given treatment, scared of side effects, scared of death and having Tamaki close helped settle some that that fear. Being up anyway Kyouya stuck to the same routine of showering and getting ready for the day.

Tamaki laid in the bed consumed by his thoughts and uncertainty over what to do now. Kyouya needed him to stay strong, supportive, to be there for him and he could do that. He could also wait as long as he needed to tell Kyouya what had been on his mind. Kyouya needed to focus on himself right now. Tamaki could handle everything else on his own.

"I probably should go to work since I don't have an actual doctor's appointment until next Tuesday. But, having a shitty night, the day off will be nice." Kyouya had thrown on a pair of 'around the house' pants on and some plain shirt he found before sitting back on the bed beside Tamaki. He was trying to create light small talk but Tamaki seemed too caught up in his own thoughts to notice. Kyouya tried a few different topics with nothing, not even a slight nod of acknowledgement.  
"If you're not going to talk to me, fine. I'll mail you divorce papers as soon as I am able." Getting out of bed he bit his cheek to stop from smiling as he stood up to get breakfast. Tamaki was sensitive about certain words, divorce was one. Actually divorce topped that list. He swore Tamaki's mind filtered everything any one said, directed to him or not, to make sure it was never said. Always worried about that would be said, that thought alone depressed Kyouya to no end. There was no need for Tamaki to be so hyper sensitive over it. He would never actually divorce him, Tamaki was his whole world. Surprisingly he got to the door before Tamaki said anything. He must really be off in his head.  
"Divorce? Who did you say was getting a divorce?"  
"No one since you're talking to me again."  
"Huh?"  
"I said I'm getting breakfast so get off your ass and join me."  
"Oh okay. Yea sounds good." Getting up he changed out of his pajamas and into something appropriate for out of the bedroom.

Once Tamaki showered and really dressed for the day he joined Kyouya in the living room. He was sitting watching some movie on TV. It didn't look familiar to Tamaki which was odd since he loved and watched so many movies. Sitting next to him he started to watch too. Kyouya wrapped his left arm around the back of Tamaki's waist and pulled him closer. As Tamaki's mouth formed his name to question what he was doing Kyouya stopped him. Gently at first he brought their lips together, allowing his body to take in the one beside him. Feeling the love pouring from the other, this was what Kyouya felt through Tamaki with every touch, smile, and kiss over the years. Taking his right hand he caressed Tamaki's cheek before supporting the back of his head. With a little more force on their lips Tamaki was forced back, unable to stay sitting up from the weight of Kyouya. Even so the mood stayed light and the passion civilized. Tamaki turned his head away towards the TV. Kyouya stopped though he stayed over Tamaki.  
"Let's not Kyouya. I don't want…I could never."  
Kyouya stopped Tamaki's confusing speech by kissing him for a moment.  
"I'm not glass. I won't break if you touch me." Kissing Tamaki he pulled away and smiled. "See. Besides I had no intention of taking this further."

Master Tamaki your father is on the line." Tamaki pushed Kyouya up and jumped off the couch. Kyouya just sat there staring at the TV. Tamaki was up to something, hiding something. But, what was it?  
"Kyouya, that was my father. He needs me for a meeting. I tried to tell him that I couldn't but he was insistent. I won't be gone long."  
Kyouya looked over his shoulder to see that Tamaki was almost nervous behind him.  
"Tamaki for the last time I'm fine so go. God if I had known you would be so weird today I wouldn't have decided to play hooky from work." With the half smile, completely playful look, Tamaki loved he shooed him from the room. In reality his father told him to take the day off yesterday, once he learned what was going on. Kyouya wasn't surprised that the doctors told Yoshio what had been found but he nearly had a heart attack hearing him say the words about taking time off. His father must have been surprised by all this like he was.

Tamaki sat beside his father, across from the two people they had the meeting with. He knew he should have his head in it but it was hard to. He had to keep breaking from his own thoughts to go back to the meeting. When it was over he followed his father into his office. He wanted to go home already. He loved working for his father but right now he just wanted to be home.  
"So how did it go yesterday?" Yuzuru sat at his desk watching, waiting for Tamaki to say or do something.  
"I can't talk about it." He could but he wasn't sure if he could handle it, since he would have to talk about everything.  
"Are you alright Tamaki?" Now Yuzuru was worried, it was rare Tamaki didn't talk about things bothering him or what was going on. Unable to not talk Tamaki burst out crying and told his father everything. It wasn't like Kyouya said not to. Plus he had to talk to someone since he chose not to talk to Kyouya about it.

Kyouya was heading back down stairs after going to the bedroom for his cell phone to see the housekeeper with someone in the hall. It didn't look or sound like Tamaki. Their guest noticed Kyouya before the housekeeper did.  
"Ah Master Kyouya there you are. You have a visitor sir."  
"Hello Kyouya, sorry to just stop by like this."  
"What brings you here Akito? I'm surprised father let you leave work."  
"Actually he sent me here. There are some things we need to talk about."  
Figuring none the less he led Akito to the home office so they could talk in private. He didn't know when Tamaki would be back and he didn't want him to overhear if it was something major.

Yuzuru had walked around his desk to sit on the arm of the chair Tamaki sat on to console him. He could see how torn and unsure he was over what to do next. The decision he came to wasn't easy especially when he had waited so long before now.  
"You must let him know Tamaki. It could prove to help him."  
"How? He needs to focus on himself and I need to help him too. God, why did this all have to happen right now, this is so unfair."  
"I don't know Tamaki but know that if you say nothing and he finds outs by some other way or person you'll hurt him."  
"…I know…"  
"And remember you both have family to fall back on. Neither have to be alone, or have to keep things bottled up. If you need to talk we are here for you. Tell Kyouya that for me as well."  
"Thanks father. I will."

Kyouya walked Akito to the door to see Tamaki coming in.  
"Oh, hello Akito. How have you been?"  
"Hello Tamaki I'm doing alright. You're looking well. Kyouya I'll talk to you later. Tamaki it was nice seeing you again." With that he walked out of the house to his waiting car.  
"I wondered whose car that was. Surprised to see him during a work day."  
"You and me both. He was sent by my father apparently so we could go over some things."  
"Oh…I see."  
Seeing Tamaki's eyes lose a little of their shine Kyouya closed the gap between them. "Welcome home. You have no idea how long I have waited for the day I got to say that to you." Wrapping his arms around his waist he brought their lips together. Tamaki pulled back first to smile a little and rest his head on Kyouya's shoulders as they stood there.

Rolling over, Kyouya felt Tamaki getting back into bed. Moving over he walked his fingers across his back and over to his waist. As he reached his waist Tamaki flipped over and sat up scaring Kyouya's fingers back to his side.  
"Are you alright Tamaki?"  
He said nothing but closed his eyes and covered his mouth as he tried to focus and breathe.  
"Tamaki?"  
"I'm…fine."  
"Don't lie to me."  
"I'm not."  
To prove his point moved closer wrapping his arms around Tamaki's waist and up his stomach to his chest. Tamaki pushed Kyouya's hands away to lie back down. Kyouya looked over at Tamaki's face.  
"Have you been crying?" He could tell his face had been wet and not just wet from washing his face.  
"Tamaki talk to me." When he just shifted his body to hide more of his face in his pillow Kyouya got pissed. Rolling over him to sit on Tamaki's side of the bed he forced him to sit up. "You have barely spoken to me, I can't touch you, I can't kiss you. Ever since last week you changed. It's like I'm the plague all of sudden and frankly I'm tired of it. And to top it all off you've been crying so much more than you normally do and I don't even know why! That makes me one shitty husband if I don't know what is wrong to make you feel better! Technically I am the one who should cry but you're doing it for me."  
"Well I know you won't so I have to cry for you!" Kyouya stopped at that, while it was true it still surprised him.  
"What are you hiding from me Tamaki? No more dodging me. I'll go to your father if I have to. I would really rather not but you are leaving me no choice." It would really hurt him to go to Yuzuru since he always believed that Tamaki would know he could always talk to him but he wanted answers and was getting tired of Tamaki's silence towards him. Tamaki shoved himself into Kyouya, his arms wrapped around his waist and up his back holding him tightly. Kyouya could tell he was crying again even if he couldn't hear it.  
"M….gun."  
Kyouya, though loving having Tamaki trusting him again to talk pulled him away to understand him.  
"What did you say? My ears aren't buried in my shirt. Was that even Japanese?"  
Still keeping his hands around Kyouya Tamaki looked up into his eyes.  
"I said, we're going to have a baby." A smile tried to break through his lips. Soon he started talking fast about something before Kyouya stopped him with a kiss.  
"Okay I've told you but you need to promise me you'll focus on yourself okay. Don't worry about me I can take care of myself."  
"No way I'm not agreeing to that. Are you serious Tamaki, are you really pregnant? This is great!" Tamaki was taken off guard as Kyouya stood up and brought Tamaki with him. "After years of trying we are finally going to have a baby! When did you find out?" Kyouya couldn't hide his excitement, after getting shitty news for the past couple of days things were finally looking up. Tamaki didn't want to answer, even looking away from Kyouya he could tell he was waiting.  
"Last Tuesday, when I went to my appointment. They took the test as they always do and it came back positive." He wrapped his arms around his mid-section as he tried not to cry. Kyouya realized what happened right away, that day re-played in his mind. Wrapping his arms around Tamaki, holding him close he kissed the top of his head.  
"I am so sorry Tamaki. I completely forgot that you had a scheduled test last week." He remembered hearing Tamaki running to meet him at the door, he had been excited, he had been waiting all day to tell him. "You wanted to tell me but I took your happiness away just like that. For a week you have known something so wonderful but yet you felt the desire to not tell me. I am so sorry."  
"I didn't want you to worry about me. You need to focus on you. I need to help you and be there for you no matter what. Why did I have to get pregnant now out of all the times?"  
"But, don't you see, this is perfect. Now not only do I have to fight hard for you but for you and our child as well. I don't want you to be alone at all. When is your first appointment? I want to go with you." Seeing Tamaki trying to interject he shushed him. "No buts."  
"It was today but I canceled so I could go to yours today. I have yet to reschedule."  
"I don't like hearing that. But, it can't be helped now. When we get home I'll call the best doctor in the field who is employed by my father for you and get you in to see them, alright?"  
Tamaki tried to tell him that he could do it himself but Kyouya wouldn't hear it.  
"Fine, do as you like."  
"That's what I like to hear."  
Kyouya wanted to do all he could for Tamaki while he could. Who knew how long he would feel as great as he did now? He needed to make the best of it while he could.  
"Hey Kyouya guess what."  
"What?"  
"We're going to have a baby!" Pushing Kyouya back he knocked him on the bed and climbed on top of him. Kyouya loved seeing a smile on Tamaki's face again. Taking a hold of his chin Kyouya brought their lips together, the light at the end of the very long and dark tunnel was finally starting to break though for them. It was still faint but it was getting brighter.

0o0o0o0o0o0o  
And event two is out. Yes I know Kyouya's a little OOC but it will make sense as the story gets going. Please review and leave thoughts. Thanks!  
~Femalefighter~


	4. Appointment 1

Chapter 4

**Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

Tamaki took hold of Kyouya's hand as they waited in the doctor's office. Kyouya seemed calm on the outside but Tamaki figured he was worried deep down. Seeing Akito walk in with someone Tamaki didn't know helped him breathe a little easier. Akito would take good care of his younger brother.  
"Kyouya this is Dr. Teiji Yamashita. He will be your urologist. Dr. Masaaki Yamamoto will be your oncologist. He had to perform a surgery today otherwise he would be here as well. I will supervise any and all operations and will be running all scans. Right now we believe surgery will be needed to remove the infected Kidney. Before anything is set up though we would like to do a few scans and see how things are looking exactly. We can do at least one today and see what it reports before anything else is done if you're okay with that."  
Kyouya looked over at Tamaki, who nodded for him to do it. Kyouya had no problem getting it over with now but Tamaki would have to wait a while alone while it took place. Seeing him okay with it he agreed, the sooner it got done the better.  
"Okay then if you'll follow me we'll get started. Tamaki you're more than welcome to come into the one room while the contrast dye is started."  
"Okay, thank you." Following everyone down the hall they stepped into another, very hospital looking room. What a change. The front of the building looked like a house, intimate and private and now they were here.  
"Tamaki?" Hearing Kyouya he realized he was staring like an idiot at the room. "Everything alright?" Kyouya was watching him as he sat on the bed waiting to be hooked up to the dye.  
"Sorry, yea, everything's good."

Making himself as comfortable as the bed allowed he drank the pint of the oral dye he was given. So gross, there really needed to be a better way to take this. Akito walked back in the room a few minutes later to hook him up to an IV contrast to guarantee the best results. This could take awhile, making Kyouya very happy that Tamaki stayed with him while he could.  
"Did you go through this last week?"  
"Partially, they x-rayed me and did an MRI but CT scans do a better job of seeing what's there."  
"Gotcha." Tamaki took a hold of the hand without the needle in it and rubbed his thumb across the back of Kyouya's palm.  
"Tamaki can you do me a favor?"  
"Sure. What is it?"  
"Smile for me. Seeing you so nervous bothers me."  
"I…huh?"  
"Smile, you weren't meant to frown. I'll get over this just watch so stop worrying." Releasing their hands he touched Tamaki's face until he smiled even a little.  
"That's better."  
After a while Kyouya released their hands again to touch his face, stupid feeling, he really hated when this happened.  
"Are you okay? Do you feel hot?" Tamaki felt his forehead and cheek noticing he felt fine.  
"It's nothing, just a reaction from the dye, it called flushing. It's a warm sensation people can feel from it. It will pass in a little bit so don't worry."  
"Well alright, if you say so"

About an hour after the contrast was finished being injected Tamaki was escorted to another room to wait while the CT scan took place. To pass time he watched what was on TV. He wondered if this place was Akito's private office since he hadn't seen anyone else minus a few staff. If so this place was huge for what it was.

Tamaki felt like he had been staring as the TV for hours before someone came to the room.  
"You can follow me Tamaki." Akito was in the doorway waiting for him.  
"How long did that take?"  
Looking at his watch Akito said, "About an hour and a half."  
"Is that normal?"  
"Pretty much. It varies with each person and what is being looked at."  
"Oh okay."  
"Now I have a question for you Tamaki. Would you be willing to donate a kidney?"

Kyouya was bored waiting for Tamaki to come back into the room. He should be here by now. There was no way the waiting area was far away. He had been here a few times for work so he knew the layout pretty well. While he waited he realized there was really nothing for him to do in here while he waited. Hearing voices in the hall he sat up better in the bed. Tamaki walked in looking a lot happier than he did before which made him happier. Akito rolled a chair over to sit on the other side of Kyouya opposite of Tamaki with a laptop.  
"Usually the images are printed so I can show you but the printer doesn't seem to be working. Moving the laptop to sit on Kyouya's lap he started to explain to both of them what was in the photos. Though, Kyouya could probably already see it without being told. Kyouya wondered if Tamaki could hear his heart change speeds. There no way this could be right.  
"This is what needs to be focused on."  
"Is this two different angles?" Tamaki asked hoping he was right.  
"No, it's Kyouya's two kidneys."  
Tamaki squeezed Kyouya's hand hearing that.  
"Akito, could this be wrong?"  
"Not likely." He was slightly surprised by Kyouya's reaction to seeing this. Surely he had some idea already from the previous scans.  
"How could it be in both of my kidney's and I never realized it before? The only reason people noticed was because I had a fever. I haven't felt sick at all. If it wasn't for father's physical I never would have seen a doctor."  
"Kyouya…"Tamaki kissed the hand he was holding seeing the surprise on his face.  
"It can happen. Many people don't feel anything until it advances. But we know this now which is good. We can set you up for surgery, remove them both and give you a healthy one. Tamaki has already agreed to donate one of his to you since it turns out he is a match."  
"Not possible. I won't accept it."  
"What?" "What? But Kyouya why not?"  
"Because you can't, that's why."  
"But…Kyouya. I can help you. Let me help you."  
"No, you can't. Akito, Tamaki failed to mention to you that he is currently pregnant didn't he?"  
"He did. I wouldn't have asked if I knew that."  
"What does that have to do with anything?"  
Kyouya pinched the bridge of his nose, not overly surprised by Tamaki's failure to mention that. "It means you can't give me your kidney."  
"But why not? I don't get it."  
Before Kyouya slapped Tamaki for being ignorant Akito stepped in.  
"It's unsafe to undergo any surgery when pregnant. It's not safe for the mother or child. The only procedure deemed safe is a c-section."  
"Oh, I see."  
"See Tamaki it was nothing against you." Kyouya calmed himself down; there was no need to snap at Tamaki. He didn't know and was just trying to help the best he could. Tamaki sat back in his chair crossing his arms.  
"This really sucks."  
"Akito, now what though, anyone else in our family a match for me?"  
"Possibly, I will look into it for you later."  
"And what if they're not? Then what will Kyouya do?"  
"Well even if we remove the cancer cells we will still set up a treatment to stop it from coming back. So if we can't perform a transplant other options are available"  
"Oh."  
"Relax Tamaki it will still work out I promise. Remember what I said earlier."  
"Kyouya this is all I can do for today so you can go. I'll look for a donor in the family and call you when I find something. Oh and before I forget. Congratulations to you Tamaki, to you both."  
Tamaki looked at him confused at first before the light bulb went off.  
"Thank you Akito."

Deciding to stop at a restaurant for lunch they sat and talked. Much to Tamaki's dismay Kyouya refused to talk about what happened now with him.  
"Pouting won't change my mind. I don't want to get into it. Nor will I allow you to think that you getting pregnant now is a bad thing."  
"But,"  
"No buts. Now, I don't know about you but I'm starving."  
"…I am too."  
Kyouya had to start conversation soon realizing Tamaki wasn't going to. He got that Tamaki was worried for him and he appreciated it but he didn't want the mood between them to be so sad and depressing.  
"Could you order for me? I'll be right back." Tamaki pushed his chair back and was walking away before Kyouya had a chance to realize what was going on.  
"Tamaki, are you alright?"  
"I'm fine. Be back in a second."  
"Okay?" He was lost by what was going on. He really hated being lost.

Getting worried since Tamaki hadn't come back Kyouya got up to see if he was alright. Walking into the bathroom he saw Tamaki washing his face.  
"Are you alright Tamaki?"  
Tamaki turned the water off and grabbed a paper towel to dry his face. He was a little surprised to see Kyouya standing next to him. He didn't think he had been in here that long.  
"You look pale, are you feeling okay?" Kyouya felt his forehead seeing if he felt hot.  
"I'm fine."  
"We can go home and eat there if you want. You should have said something before and we could have gone home."  
"Really I'm fine. I'm also really hungry so let's stay and eat." Quickly using a onetime use toothbrush he brushed his teeth and walked out. Kyouya who was really lost now, followed him out. Tamaki seemed fine so he wasn't going to fight him over it.

Kyouya watched Tamaki for a moment trying to figure something out without asking.  
"What is with that look? Do I have butter on my face or something?" Tamaki stopped ripping the piece of bread in his hands while he waited for his answer.  
"Why were you crying this morning?"  
Not wanting to answer he popped the bigger piece in his mouth  
"Tamaki, don't dodge me."  
"Mm ot ahging."  
"Swallow and answer me."  
Taking as much time to chew and swallow he drew out as much time as he could to answer. Maybe if he took long enough Kyouya would forget about it.  
"I have all day."  
Damn, well he should have expected this from him.  
"Because I am pregnant, if you must know."  
"Huh? What do you mean; did you just burst out crying? And you did that when you weren't so?"  
"And you're the doctor." Rolling his eyes he moved closer to the table.  
"I woke up very early this morning extremely nauseous. After an hour of sitting in bed I got up to see if water would help, it didn't. But, while I was puking my guts up it hit me that I was really going to have a baby. That it was all because of this baby that I was getting sick, it was their way of telling me they were really there. And, that you didn't know and I was trying not to tell you. My mind could no longer hide the fact that I was pregnant so I started crying. There happy now." He sat back slouching and crossing his arms. He really hated showing how easily he cried, it made him seem so weak. Kyouya sat there in silence. One, surprised by what Tamaki said and two because he was the reason he had been crying.  
"I'm sorry."  
Tamaki uncrossed his arms and sat back up. He wasn't expecting that. He was prepared to have Kyouya start ranting about how he should have told him sooner to avoid all of that or something.  
"Why are you sorry?" _* Great, what is he going to say now? 'I'm sorry I knocked you up?' That's the last thing I want to hear.*_  
"I'm sorry I didn't realize sooner about what was going on with you. I should have remembered and confronted you about it sooner."  
"It's fine. Don't be sorry. I could have told you just as well. Just promise me you'll beat this so the three of us can be a family forever okay?"  
"I promise I will."  
"Good!" They stopped talking as their food arrived. Kyouya smiled watching Tamaki's mouth water as his food was placed in front of him. Everything seemed fine now.

Kyouya stood up from his desk in their home office. Well that was taken care of, now to tell Tamaki. Walking across the house to the living room he was surprised to not see Tamaki. He thought he was in here watching TV and the TV was still on actually. Perhaps he had to run to the bathroom again? That really had suck. Getting closer to the couch he noticed he was asleep. He looked relaxed laying across it, his head not on the armrest. He wondered if Tamaki had been sleeping well since last week. Probably not since he seemed to be stressed, and it would be just like him to not sleep. Walking around he gently lifted his head to sit under him and knocked the afghan, Annie-Sophia sent them once they were married, on top of him. Tamaki shifted slightly grabbing Kyouya's pant leg and mumbled something. Kyouya moved the bangs from his eyes to see his face. The face he fell in love with from the first moment he saw it. Tamaki had always been beautiful to him and now was no expectation. Now, watching him sleep so peacefully, he couldn't deny how beautiful Tamaki truly was both inside and out. He was glowing, simply radiant, always perfect in every way.

Tamaki went to readjust his pillow to realize it didn't feel like his pillow at all. Opening his eyes and slowly looking up he realized he had been asleep on Kyouya. When did that happen?  
"Have fun groping my leg? You didn't have to stop."  
"S…sorry I didn't know that was you."  
"Oh no don't apologize. I missed seeing your face turn so red like this. Sleep well?"  
Tamaki huffed at his statement but sat up also seeing the cover on him. Kyouya was too good to him. Pushing it to the other end by his feet he moved closer to Kyouya. His nap had been nice and peaceful, now he wanted this feeling in him to last a little longer by cuddling with the one he loved. Moments like these were the ones he cherished the most. Kyouya wrapped an arm around him to hold him as close as he could. Just as they were they watched TV together not saying anything but enjoying the company of the other.

When Tamaki moved to grab the remote to change channels Kyouya used this time to tell him the plan for tomorrow.  
"I have you scheduled to see Dr. Mayu Oshiro tomorrow at eleven. She is the best doctor in her field so of course I want you to be her patient."  
"Okay. Thank you. Eleven huh, seems pretty late for you."  
"I thought you could use the time to sleep in."  
"Awww how sweet. I don't know why you act so cold and stiff when around others because you not like that at all are you."  
Kyouya pushed him off to the other side if the couch. Someone was feeling much better from earlier it seemed. Kyouya had been really starting to miss this playful side of Tamaki.  
"Come on you love me and you know it." Tamaki stood on the couch bouncing around; all of a sudden he was hyper and had nothing to do. "I should call my father and let him know about tomorrow!" Jumping off he ran into the kitchen to use the phone. Yep the old Tamaki was definitely back and kicking full force. Oh how he loved him.

That night they laid together in bed before they fell asleep. Tamaki had long turned off the TV so they could though he didn't think they would.  
"I know we won't know for awhile still but I'm curious. Do you think we will have a boy or a girl and what do you want them to be?" Kyouya looked over at Tamaki hearing him say something. He had to think about that, the thought never really crossed his mind yet.  
"To be honest I don't know and what do I hope for? Well I figure a girl would be easier to raise overall but I think a boy would be easier for us. So again I don't know. But thinking about it twins might be good too, one of each, then we could experience both. What about you?"  
Tamaki pushed away from him and sat up. He looked mortified. Kyouya had no idea what he said to cause that.  
"You want twins? Are you mad? Did that scan today mess with your mind or something?"  
"What's wrong with twins? You don't want that?"  
"You really don't love me do you? Twins, really, crazy maniac."  
"I don't see what the big deal would be. And I didn't say we would I just said I would be okay with it, not that we would really have a say in the matter."  
"Do you not remember how horrible Hikaru and Kaoru treated me, they were devils. I…no, no, no."  
"But also, if you think about it if we had twins then they would always have someone to play with. They would be forever close to someone. I mean we saw how the twins were to each other and still are. And come on, they weren't that bad to you. Besides this is _our _child we are talking about so I don't really believe they would be anything like them. Actually if they were _you _would have some explaining to do I think."  
"And do you have any idea what that will do to my body. Here I was thinking you loved me but now I am seeing you are evil." Tamaki moved to the far corner of the bed staying as far away from Kyouya as he could.  
"Oh get back over here." Kyouya grabbed his leg to drag him back next to him. "Relax it was only a thought. God you are so dramatic. Though I still believe it wouldn't be as bad as your making it sound. But before you start screaming at me I'll forget I said anything. So, what do you think?"  
"I don't know yet. And as well as they are healthy I am happy with a boy or girl. This world is cruel to those less than perfect and I don't want our child to face such cruelty."  
Tamaki had a valid point; they both worked in fields where they saw how cruel people could be towards others with problems. But he also had selfish reasons for wanting a healthy child. He never wanted to see Tamaki sad or have to deal with the stress of having a child with major health concerns. He worked with in a hospital a few times over the years and he saw the strain it put on parents when their children became seriously ill. He didn't want Tamaki to have to go through that, ever.  
"I'm sure they will be fine. They are our child after all."  
"Your right, I'm not worried." Tamaki moved back to get closer to Kyouya getting comfortable on him before he kissed him good-night.  
"I guess you're not really evil. I love you."  
Kyouya smiled a little hearing that. "I love you too." As he turned the lamp off he whispered, "Everything will be fine." And fell asleep for the night.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

I had been thinking about the last paragraph before I started the chapter and nearly forgot to add it. Hope you enjoyed it. Please review.  
~Femalefighter~


	5. Appointment 2

Chapter 5

**Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

Kyouya rolled over groaning at nothing other than the fact that he was up. He hated mornings, the sun coming in through the blinds, the birds chirping. he swore right next to the windows, he wanted it all to stop. Groaning again he sat up and looked over to see the bed empty. Did he sleep in later than usual? Actually what time was it exactly? Grabbing his glasses he saw it was only seven thirty. Stupid mornings. Laying back down he stared at the ceilings for a few minutes before rolling over to see the bed empty. Where was Tamaki? He must be up already, probably downstairs waiting on breakfast.  
"Crazy fool." Since he was up it seemed stupid to lay in bed alone. Guess he shouldn't keep Tamaki waiting, he was probably holding off breakfast until he got up and downstairs. Sitting back up he stood up and headed to the bathroom to shower so he could get dressed. Opening the door he saw Tamaki throwing up in the toilet.  
"Hey are you okay?" Kneeling next to him he rubbed his back. Tamaki shot him an evil look before sitting back slightly. He was scared to move too far.  
"What do you think? Uhhh." Moaning he moved closer to Kyouya. "Let's have a baby" he says. What does he care he isn't the one who gets sick." He mumbled as he tried not to move too much. This sucked he wasn't this bad yesterday.  
"Your right that was a stupid question, I'm sorry. Do you need something, maybe feel a little better?"  
"No, but I'm going to go into one of the guest bedrooms so you can have the bathroom. If I manage to fall asleep from some miracle wake me up so I can get dressed for the doctors." Tamaki carefully stood up making sure he wasn't about to throw up again and started walking out.  
"Tamaki!" Kyouya got up to stop him. "I'll go use the other room. Stay here its fine."  
"No, it's stupid for you to take everything out of here and move it. Just don't forget to get me later."  
"…Okay if you're sure about this."  
"I am." He went to kiss Kyouya before changing his mind. That would be really gross.

Tamaki sat on the cold floor of the unused guest bathroom, it felt nice. Allowing his head to rest on the bowl he shut his eyes. He had been up since five to throw up, two hours already and going back to bed seemed impossible at this rate.  
"Stupid Kyouya." He mumbled as he shifted to throw up again. This could not end soon enough it seemed.

Kyouya walked upstairs later in the morning to get Tamaki. He looked like garbage before, not that he didn't understand why, he just felt bad for him. Walking into the guest bathroom he saw Tamaki sleeping between the sink and toilet. He looked peaceful as he was and waking him was now hard. If this wasn't an important appointment he would leave him as he was and cancel.  
"Tamaki, you need to wake up now." Softly touching his head he tried to get his attention. Good thing he was a light sleeper. His eyes slowly opened with just a gentle touch. Kyouya knew he would never be able to do that.  
"Morning. What time is it?"  
"Morning. Feel better? It's nine thirty. I thought to wake you so you could shower and maybe eat something if you wanted."  
"Mmmm a shower sounds great actually. Not sure about the food though." Giving Kyouya his hand he made him help him up.  
"I figured, but here to help settle your stomach." He handed Tamaki a ginger ale, he figured it couldn't hurt to see if it helped him.

By ten thirty and after a hot shower Tamaki met Kyouya in the living room feeling better than he did. Still he wasn't going to risk it by eating a lot.  
"I'm ready to go whenever you are. I don't know about you Kyouya but I'm excited." He took Kyouya's hand to get him off the couch so they could go. How could he still be sitting, the thought boggled him.

Tamaki's feet dangled over the edge of the examining table while he waited for the doctor. Kyouya sat in corner idling flipping through a magazine. He wasn't even sure what magazine it was; knowing his luck it was a teenage gossip one talking about how to look your best. Looking closer he stopped on a page going over what shades of lipstick to wear with certain clothes.  
"Fantastic." Closing it he put it back on the rack.  
"Huh, did you say something Kyouya?" Tamaki looked over at him yawning. "Think it would be rude to fall asleep right now?" He didn't know what it was but he was tired again. Maybe it was because of how he napped before?  
"I doubt you would be the first."  
Before Tamaki could take his nap though Dr. Mayu Oshiro walked in.  
"Sorry to keep you waiting." Knowing Kyouya was here and could make her lose her job she tried her best to be forgiven.  
"Oh it's alright. We don't mind waiting a few minutes, right Kyouya?"  
"Whatever you say Tamaki."  
Dr. Oshiro swallowed hard hearing that but Tamaki started laughing.  
"Well let's get started then shall we?" Looking over the chart she was given she moved closer to review it with him.  
"From what the nurse took, you seem to be in a good place right now. You're a good weight for your height. Your blood pressure and heart rate are normal. All things that I want to see continue to stay in a good place alright?"  
"Yes ma'am."  
"Good. Now I just have a few more questions before I get started. The important one being if you know about how far along you are?"  
Tamaki started laughing shyly at that with how his nights had been spent up until recently he had no clue.  
"I'll take that as a no. Which is fine. I'll find out soon enough. Now if you'll sit back I'll get started."  
Tamaki did as he was asked and Kyouya took this time to move closer.

This is what Tamaki had been excited for. He wondered if Kyouya was excited too. He watched the doctor move the wand thing across him, wand thing, he liked that name. It was probably better than whatever it was called. Looking at the screen he stared at what Dr. Oshiro pointed at. Kyouya probably saw the screen better too. While he saw it perfectly he couldn't figure out anything being showed to him. Stupid Kyouya for being a doctor and being trained to see images.  
"Tamaki have you been experiencing any symptoms of feeling tired or nauseous?"  
"Actually yes I have for two days I would say. Is something wrong?"  
"Oh no, sorry if you thought that. You seem to be about five weeks and I was just curious. Morning sickness can start to happen to some around this time so it makes the week of growth better. Did that make sense to you?"  
"I think so, it helps support you saying five weeks correct?"  
"Exactly."  
She started to sweat again when she heard Kyouya huff. Why did one of her patients have to be involved with the Ootori family? And why Kyouya no less, the one everyone knew was much like his father.  
"What was with that Kyouya, huh?"  
Well it looked like Tamaki was going to deal with him, that helped.  
"I just find it odd that a doctor who has worked in the field for as long as she has can't tell how old a child is by looking at the ultra sound."  
"Don't be mean Kyouya."  
"It's not that I can't tell sir. It's just that in the first few weeks all we can go on is how the child is developing, especially when we can't go off when conception occurred or may have occurred. We must go off of how each person feels in response to what we see. That helps to tell us that the baby is developing correctly. For example if I say the baby seems to be at three weeks but in reality it's five based on what I am told I can see as to why the baby is developing slower."  
"See Kyouya she knows what she is doing so apologize." When he didn't Tamaki stared at him and huffed.  
"Oh drop that look." Looking at Dr. Oshiro he apologized for his attitude.  
"Oh don't worry about it sir."She never would have believed that Kyouya would ever do what someone else told him to do. Tamaki must be very special to him. Looking down she saw a ring on his finger, and Tamaki's. They were married? When did that happen? But that would make sense; Kyouya wouldn't be the type of person to sleep with someone he wasn't married to. But then where was she to not know that her boss's son got married? Maybe they just got married? No, that couldn't be it. But maybe it was. That would be something else, Kyouya Ootori forced to marry someone because he got them pregnant.  
"Dr. Oshiro? Snapping away from her thoughts she looked at Tamaki. "I have a question for you."  
"Okay and what would that be?"  
"I'm not having twins right?"  
"No, it doesn't look like it."  
She watched as he exhaled and Kyouya started to laugh, obviously someone didn't want twins.  
Composing himself again he asked,"Everything is okay though right?"  
"Yes, you have nothing to worry about Tamaki. Just take it easy, follow the Do's and Don'ts I'm about to give you and I believe things will continue to go smoothly for you. Also I know it may sound hard to do but try to eat every few hours. It will help with the morning sickness, not eating can make it worse when you do. Also, at this point in time I'm going to say your due date is July seventh. I'll verify it once you hit eighteen weeks. Do either of you have any questions?"  
Both looked at each other, neither could think of anything at the moment. Able to leave than, Kyouya followed Tamaki out of the office and building to their car. He noticed Tamaki seemed quiet, too quiet considering how excited he had had been earlier.

Seeing Tamaki stare out the back passenger window as they drove home Kyouya decided he wanted answers. When Tamaki was quiet nothing good ever happened.  
"Talk to me Tamaki. Don't tell me you're mad that I got snippy with her?"  
Tamaki pulled his view away to look at Kyouya, he just stared at him.  
"Mad, at, you? No I was just thinking."  
"Well I know that much but I want to know what you're thinking."  
"You'll laugh or think I'm stupid."  
Kyouya leaned over to touch Tamaki's face. "I will never think you're stupid. And know I will never laugh at anything you say that isn't funny. I thought you already knew this though. So tell me what is on your mind."  
"I feel horrible, what the doctor tried to show us. I just couldn't see. Not the way she was explaining. I bet that makes me a horrible person for it."  
Kyouya bit his cheek to stop from smiling or laughing even a little at this. Tamaki really felt bad and he saw that, laughing wouldn't help any.  
"Don't be upset, or even worried about it. Most don't. I know I had one hell of time seeing exactly what she was pointing out."  
"But this is our child, to not see them is."  
"Is nothing to be ashamed of alright. I bet your next visit you will, promise."  
"Really? You're sure this isn't a sign of what's to come?"  
"Stop worrying about it. You'll be a fine parent I can guarantee it."  
Tamaki smiled as he took Kyouya's hand. He held it as they went the rest of the way home.

Dr. Oshiro walked to the front desk to hand over Tamaki's folder. Her mind still wondered about Kyouya marrying Tamaki because of their current situation.  
"Rose, you've been working for Yoshio for a few years right?"  
"I have, ever since I graduated from medical school. Nine years already, where has the time gone. Why?"  
"His youngest son, Kyouya, when did he get married?"  
"Oh I'd have to say about four years ago. Right before you transferred here. A nurse here had been working at the hospital with Akito at the time or something and he told her I think. Apparently Kyouya went to school with Tamaki."  
"So they are together. Damn."  
Rose started laugh hearing that. "Yea everyone seems to have the same reaction though."  
"God, why does every hot guy have to be married or gay?"  
"I know right? We all cried a little that day. But, I will say Tamaki isn't bad to look at either."  
"I'll be saddened when these nine months end I know that much." Moving to where the patient's folders were she heard Rose yell to her. "Pray they have more kids!"

That night Tamaki was ready to pass out earlier than normal, all day he had been napping, he would have thought he would be up all night. Kyouya was next to him watching the news, how he could watch so much of it he would never know. It was too depressing for him, traffic and weather was all he put it on for.  
"So are you happy Tamaki?"  
"Huh?" Looking over his shoulder he decided to roll over to look at him better.  
"Happy it's not twins?"  
"Oh that! Yea I am but I guess it wouldn't have been so bad."  
"But what about your body?" He was horrible and he knew it but he couldn't help but mock him for his dramatic performance last night.  
"It's not that big of a deal I guess. I mean so I've been the same size since middle school and have a body that turns heads but if we were going to have twins I wouldn't have let it get to me."  
Kyouya was speechless for a few reasons.  
"Are you trying to make me jealous?"  
"Is it working?"  
He turned the TV off and moved their comforter up higher. Tamaki moved closer trying not to laugh too hard.  
"Don't get mad. I was only teasing. Besides it's not my fault people stare at me for my good looks."  
Kyouya sat back up and turned his lamp on to write something down. Folding it in half he stuck it in his pants pocket.  
"What did you write down?"  
"Night Tamaki." He turned the lamp off and laid back down.  
"Hey tell me what you wrote. Kyouya! Come on, no don't close your eyes and fall asleep, tell me. Kyouyyyyyyyaaaaaaa!" Tamaki backed off seeing as Kyouya wasn't going to budge. "Jerk."  
Moving the comforter on his side up from his feet he so he could fall asleep he was pinned to the bed. Kyouya rolled over to kiss him and was stopping the use of his hands. Even though the room was pitch black he could see Kyouya smiling as he moved away.  
"Thank you Tamaki, for choosing me, out of all the others that admired you."  
Not saying a word Tamaki brought their lips together again.

Tamaki sat up in bed the next morning waiting for Kyouya to get out of the shower. He had been surprised yesterday when Kyouya told him he planned to go back to work today. He said he didn't want people finding out what was going on before they had to. But, still, the idea didn't sit well with him. Kyouya should be taking it easy, not putting in eight hours at a hospital. He was hoping Akito or Yoshio would send him home.  
"Shower's all yours."  
Looking up at Kyouya he still couldn't see it. It had to be a dream. There was no way that the person he stared at right now, the man he loved was sick. He looked so healthy, standing beside the bed in nothing but a towel as he towel dried his hair. There was no way he could have cancer.

"Tamaki, did you hear me?"  
"What, sorry, no."  
"I asked if everyone was coming at seven still for dinner?"  
"Oh yea they are."  
Kyouya realized something was bothering Tamaki, he could see it all over his face. Finishing to button his dress pants he moved to the bed.  
"Do you feel nauseous again? Why not stay home if you are. I doubt Yuzuru will get upset."  
While he did feel sick that wasn't it but he didn't want to tell Kyouya. He would only say he was worrying too much.  
"I'm okay, really. Guess I just tuned you out." Moving off the bed he went to shower leaving Kyouya on the bed.

Hearing the door close Kyouya sat on the edge of the bed. Tamaki was as bad of a liar as ever. Covering his face with his hands he wished there was some way to make this go away. He didn't want Tamaki to worry about him so much. And why now, why did he have to get sick now that their lives were about to change for the better? Why did he have to get sick at all for that matter?

Tamaki rested against the bathroom door taking a few deep breaths before he started to undress. He hated lying to Kyouya, they shouldn't keep secrets. They didn't keep secrets from each other. Walking in further he caught himself in the mirror, taking a good look at his face he saw a few tears escaping his eyes. Before they could get far and more could get loose he wiped them away. Crying wouldn't change anything and it wouldn't help. But, even so he couldn't help it. Taking two steps back he started to take his shirt off so he could really shower. Dropping his shirt he placed his hands on his abdomen. He was really going to have a baby, yesterday confirmed that. Come July he would have a baby with the one he loved. Turning towards the tub away from directly staring into the mirror he closed his eyes; he tried to see the baby he knew was under his hands. He knew they were there, growing, getting bigger and stronger every passing second. Hearing the knob turn for the bathroom he dropped his hands to the waist of his pants. He heard Kyouya walk in, probably to brush his teeth as he did most mornings while he showered. His head looked up from his hands as he felt Kyouya wrap his arms around him. They stopped right where his hands had just been. Placing his hands on top of Kyouya's they stayed just like that. Tamaki hoped they stayed this way forever.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Alright now we can get this story going. Please leave your thoughts in reviews. Also there is a specific reason this story is written as it so don't judge it based off characters and how they are forced to fit a heterosexual stereotype. I tried this with other pairings and it doesn't work as well. Why am I saying this? Cause I got flamed about it, a friend of mine took it down but I thought to address it so it doesn't happen again. With that said I hope those reading and enjoying it continue to. Thanks for reading.  
~Femalefighter~


	6. Friends, Family

Chapter 6

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!

Okay maybe this wasn't the best idea Tamaki came up with. He should have listened to Kyouya this morning and stayed home. The doctor said to eat often to help with the morning sickness but it seemed stupid to eat when he couldn't keep it down. If he didn't want to talk to his father before tonight he might have gone home. Though, so far that didn't seem possible as he ran into the bathroom for the fifth time since he got here. He threw up twice in the garbage can in his office before his father even arrived and three times now as he tried to walk down the hall where his father's office was. As he left the stall for what he could only hope was for the last time he saw his father near the sinks.  
"You should have told me this morning that you weren't feeling up to coming in."  
"I know but I wanted to talk to you."  
"It couldn't wait until this evening?"  
"No because I wanted to talk to you in private." Tamaki pulled another one time use toothbrush from his pants pocket after he rinsed his mouth out. He kept so many of these little things on him and they seemed to work.  
"Well I am free if you want to talk."  
Making sure he was presentable Tamaki followed his father out of the bathroom and into his office. Sitting in one of the chairs he forgot to laugh as Yuzuru placed garbage can next to him. He would have thought he was being nice, of he hadn't seen the funny, joking smile on his father's face.  
"So what did you want to talk to me about Tamaki?"  
"Kyouya saw a doctor two days ago and, well, I am really scared for him father."  
"What did they find?"  
"He has two large tumors in both of his kidneys' which means he needs a transplant. He keeps telling me not to worry but I can't help it. I may listen to him better if I wasn't pregnant. I mean I keep thinking about what happens if things get worse. I don't want our child to grow up without their father. I don't want to lose him at all but knowing our child will get involved up in this only makes it worse."  
Yuzuru could see why Tamaki was worried. Right now was a scary time for him, for both of them.  
"And I want to be happy about finally getting pregnant but it's so hard. Every time I get excited I see Kyouya and start to cry."  
"You _have _told Kyouya right?"  
"I have, I told him Tuesday."  
"And? I take it he wasn't upset?"  
"No he wasn't. He was happy to find out and felt guilty for being the reason I never told him sooner. He is excited I can tell he is but I can't figure out if he is doing that just for my sake. And on top of this I feel like he is hiding something from me."  
"Do you know what he could be hiding?" He saw Tamaki start to cry again, he was really worried about all of this. Even more so then he was letting on right now.  
"The only thing that comes to mind is that it's a lot worse than Akito and Kyouya are making it sound. And that truly scares me."

Kyouya stepped into his brothers office as he did every morning once he did his rounds.  
"So the rumors are true you did show up today."  
"I was wondering if you found anything out. Bringing it up tonight probably wouldn't be the best idea." He was going to ignore Akito's comment.  
"If you have some time than sit and I'll go over it with you."  
Kyouya closed the door to Akito's office and sat down. His body felt strange as Akito went through his briefcase looking for his folder. Almost as if he didn't know what he felt exactly.  
"Okay Kyouya it turns out you have two choices, Fuyumi or Jiro."  
"I would ask Jiro. I know Fuyumi would agree no questions or second thoughts but I couldn't ask her to do this for me."  
"I figured and so I asked Jiro already. If you're free we can do this Saturday." That was in two days, things were really happening fast.  
"Put me in but I really need to talk to Tamaki about this."  
"Of course, let me know if you can't. How is Tamaki? I can only imagine this has been extremely hard on him as well. I could read how concerned he was over this, it was written all over his face on Tuesday."  
"He is trying to not show how much he is affected. He waited a full week to tell me he was pregnant. I don't think he would have told me then if I hadn't demanded answers as to why he had been acting weird. He needs to realize that I'll get over this for him and for our child."  
"Who are you trying to tell, me or you? I noticed on Tuesday you said that quite often but who were telling it to, you or him?"  
"Are you telling me I need reassurance?"  
Akito stood up to get ready for the surgery he had coming up.  
"I'm just curious to know how much longer your defense will last before you realize the situation you're in. I know you came here today to prove to Tamaki that you feel fine but I also believe you came to prove to yourself as well. I'm not making you go home but I want you to stay here until you're sure you want to be a work." With that he left Kyouya alone in his office.  
What was Akito talking about? There was no way he was trying to fool himself. That was just who he was, stronger when it came to tough situations. He had to be stronger to work in this field and to be married to Tamaki because while he loved him he was so emotional he could swear he would cry over killing a fly. Since he had time to himself though he should call Tamaki and let him know about Saturday.

Tamaki was back in his office going over the paperwork he could have finished earlier if he hadn't gotten sick over and over again. At least he felt a little better though, both in talking with his father and not throwing up every few minutes. Hearing his office phone ring he reached over for it to go on speakerphone.  
"Hello this is Tamaki Suoh."  
"Tamaki, do you have a few minutes I need to talk to you about something?"  
"Kyouya?" Picking up to turn off speakerphone he spun between the area under his desk with his legs out of nerves. Kyouya rarely ever called when he was at work. "Hey is everything alright. Are you at work?"  
"Yes I am, listen I talked to Akito before and he can put me in for surgery this Saturday."  
"I take it he found someone for you then?"  
"My brother Jiro will do it for me. Are you okay with this?" Tamaki ran his free hand through his hair. This was a lot sooner than he thought.  
"You really don't have any other options of course I'm okay with it." How could he say no, Kyouya needed this transplant and the sooner the better right?  
"If you want to talk about this later we can. I know I just threw this at you."  
"No it's fine, really. Tell Akito to book you for Saturday."  
"Alright, I will then."  
"Anything else?"  
"No that was it. I'll see you later tonight then."  
"Okay, see you at home."  
"I love you Tamaki."  
"…I love you too Kyouya."  
Hanging up the phone he leaned back in his chair and let his hands fall on his lap. His mind kept telling him that this was a good thing. The longer they waited to do this the riskier things could become but still two days, that was sooner than he thought. This wasn't helping the thought that things were worse than he was being told. Sitting up he rested his cheek on his left hand to allow his mind a chance to think before he got back to work. If this went well than maybe Kyouya could be done with treatment before the baby was born. That would be great. Smiling he looked down to see his right hand still on his lap on his stomach.  
"Wouldn't that be great, if your dad was all better by the time you were born? I know we would both be happy, your father and I."

Kyouya sat in the chair he was in after he hung up the phone. He knew he should tell Akito that everything could be finalized but he couldn't move. He couldn't get his body to stand up. His mind was processing the fact that he was really going to have a kidney transplant. He was going to have a kidney transplant because he had cancer. Cancer at twenty-seven, even so young he had cancer. He was going to be a father in nine months and he was fighting cancer. He never thought it could happen to him. It wasn't something he worried about because he still so young and rarely got sick in general. Was this some sort of punishment for something he did? Had a patient of his died from cancer or other serious illness? Had he thought better them than me? Bringing his hand to his eyes he slid it under his glasses to rub his eyes. He moved his hands when it felt wet. He was crying? Soon he slouched over as the tears fell faster down his face. He, Kyouya Ootori, age twenty seven, soon to be a father had kidney cancer and he was scared about Saturday. He had never imagined it could happen to him while he was still young, he refused to say it could never happen to him but not when he still had a life to live.

Tamaki got home at five thirty quite surprised to see that Kyouya's car was not here. He never thought Yoshio or Akito would allow him to stay at work. Heading upstairs he jumped in the shower to change before their friends and family showed up. They were going to call it a Christmas party but it seemed weird to say Merry Christmas, by the way Tamaki is pregnant and Kyouya has cancer to them. With that they chose to just invite them as friendly gathering. Usually they met at one of their families' house for dinner once a month but with so much suddenly going on they decided to do it at their house. Getting out of the shower and going into their shared bedroom Tamaki saw Kyouya on their bed unbuttoning his shirt.  
"Welcome home I am surprised you didn't come home early."  
"I could say the same for you Tamaki."  
Tamaki could see something was up with Kyouya he seemed in his head which was very rare. While he was always thinking he rarely made it known.  
"Everything okay Kyouya? Something happen at work?"  
Kyouya looked up from his last button on his shirt too see Tamaki a few feet from him. God he looked so hot right now. Why did his brother have to tell him no sex? This was so unfair right now. Trying not show that he was uncomfortable he stood up to go into the bathroom to shower next.  
"Just the usual, long."  
"Are you going in tomorrow?"  
"No, I'm not allowed apparently." Unable to stand Tamaki so close, practically naked, he walked in the bathroom ending the conversation.

As he showered he couldn't wash away the feeling of guilt he felt for lying. He should have told Tamaki that he stayed in Akito's office for a good part of the day. But the more he thought about it the more he was glad he didn't tell him the truth. Maybe Akito had a point about him trying to convince himself that everything would be alright but he had to do it for Tamaki too. He needed Tamaki to stay strong so he could; the more Tamaki cried over what was going on the more he wanted to. That was something he realized before. Crying wasn't a luxury for him for if he did then it would be the same as giving in and believing that this would be the end for him. Tamaki was his pillar of strength just as he was Tamaki's. Tamaki had been right; he wasn't as cold-hearted as some thought. It was just from being raised that way. Haruhi learned this years ago while they still attended Ouran together. And while he knew the truth it was nice for someone to see that as well. Tamaki had hinted that he knew when they first met but he probably had been too stupid back then to really see it.

Tamaki knew Kyouya was lying about work being the same as always, that something had gone on today but he wasn't up for a fight. If something was really going on then he would say something. Kyouya found the whole, keeping secrets thing, a stupid idea. He found no reason for it. Not in the mood to stay in the bedroom he decided to go down into the living room. When Kyouya was dressed again he joined Tamaki on the bench of the piano. Usually he sat on the couch to listen but today he felt like watching the sweet music be created. When the housekeeper told them the twins car was at the gate they were sad to stop.  
"Ready Tamaki?" Kyouya knew he beat Tamaki as he saw his mouth open.  
"Let's do this."  
Getting up together they walked to the door to greet the twins, and Haruhi. Both secretly wondered who she was dating, if she finally gave in.

"Hello Kyouya, Tamaki how are you both doing?" She handed the housekeeper her coat as she asked. It had been so long since she saw them last when she had been invited she quickly replied.  
"Good as always." Kyouya answered for both of them as Tamaki was already being harassed by the twins. "What about yourself? Last I heard you were still in law school."  
"I'm well and school is going well. I am also interning in the same place my mother worked in so it's a great experience."  
"That's good to hear." Kyouya knew Tamaki hoped she would do well in school so he could make her his family's personal lawyer. He thought that if she did he would get to see her more. The idea was logical enough to happen. Haruhi had agreed to that though.

They moved into the living room before Yuzuru showed up followed by Yoshio and Kyouya's siblings. Mori and Hunny were not too far behind either. The group of them all talked before dinner was ready. Everyone was talking to someone about whatever they chose too. Kyouya couldn't breathe from laughing so hard at the twins. Tamaki was leaning against him with tears in his eyes from laughing. It seemed they hadn't changed much. Well they grew funnier but were still pranksters it looked like. At dinner the conversation cooled down a little so they could eat. Though since Tamaki hated silence he made sure it continued.

Both knew after dinner they should tell everyone what was going on since that was why they called them all together. While they could get away with saying nothing they didn't want their friends to find out by a third party since there was no need for that. Looking over at Tamaki Kyouya looked to see if Tamaki was ready to do this. Nodding 'yes', Kyouya got everyone's attention. Now if he was correct, to his family Tamaki's news would be a surprise and to Tamaki's father his news would have been a surprise. Their friends were about to learn both for the first time. Taking a deep breath he started.  
"There is actually a reason Tamaki and I invited you all here tonight. To put it off seems a waste of time. We both have news to share. Last week I learned that I have stage two kidney cancer. I have already been scheduled for surgery this Saturday at noon." As expected the room fell silent. He saw the look of shock on his friends face, especially Haruhi and the twins. She was now holding each other's hands while their other hands sat on Haruhi's lap clasped together. Kyouya nudged Tamaki's shoulder when he stayed silent. He seemed to be thinking about things again. Using his eyes he asked what Tamaki was waiting for.  
"Everyone, please don't look so sad because Kyouya will beat this. Also we all know that when something bad happens something good happens as well. This is true because last week we also learned that I am pregnant." It was obvious to the two of them that to those who were finding out about both events didn't know how to react now. They expected this to happen though so they let each person process it on their own. Kyouya had planned to tell them first in hopes that Tamaki's news would brighten their mood but they seemed scared to be happy.  
"Hikaru, Kaoru, I was wondering something. Does your mother know room designers? Tamaki and I want our child's nursery to be perfect in every way."  
Both looked at Kyouya, they were completely surprised by what he said. Kaoru was the first to get himself back.  
"Most likely. We probably do too but I'm not sure who the best is. But I warn you both now, if my mother finds out that you're going to have a baby she will send you thousands of outfits. She has been dying to find someone to try her new collection of clothes, since she finally launched her newborn collection." Hikaru leaned across Kaoru to elbow him for his choice of words. But looking at Kyouya he didn't seem offended or anything.  
"That's fine with us, right Kyouya?"  
Kyouya wouldn't say he liked the idea of their child modeling, but he did know that Yuzuha would just be thrilled to have a friend of hers dressing their child in her clothes. To her that was even better than modeling.

After that people started to join in the conversation. It seems Kyouya's plan worked perfectly just as he expected it too. As the night grew later everyone decided it was getting time to leave since most had work in the morning. As they left people told them congratulations and the standard 'if you need anything let me know.' This really didn't surprise them but they had to realize neither would call on them for their help for no other reason than they didn't want to bother them. To Kyouya it seemed like a stupid thing to say since ninety percent of people never actually went to others for whatever reason though it had been offered. Once they left they went upstairs Tamaki wanted to lie down on the bed. It seemed that acting like dinner didn't make him completely nauseous had really gotten to him. Once Kyouya changed so he could go to bed as well he moved close to Tamaki, something told him to have him near. There was just this feeling in him that said he wanted to feel Tamaki in his arms. Maybe because he was tired from today or the effect Tamaki had him when he got home was still going on it seemed but Tamaki smelt really good. That smell made his eyes close much sooner than he expected for the night.

0o0o0o

We are getting there, to the reason I chose this couple. Because yea I could have made this a Kyouya/ Haruhi pairing (would have made more sense) but I don't see them working as well for this based off their personalities. Please review, don't flame me for the material but criticism is always welcomed. Thank you.  
~Femalefighter~


	7. Surgery

Chapter 7

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!

Kyouya woke up not too surprised to see Tamaki out of bed. He didn't have to be up fully to know he was in the bathroom. Actually he preferred to stay half asleep so his ears didn't pick up Tamaki throwing up everything inside of him and then some. He felt guilty though for being up and not at least checking on him so he grabbed his glasses and got out of bed. Reaching for the door handle it turned in and he just stopped as he saw Tamaki there.  
"I was just coming to see if I could get you something."  
"You're staying home today right?" Tamaki completely ignored whatever Kyouya just said. He looked wiped out.  
"Yes I am why is something wrong? Are you okay?"  
"Let's go back to bed together." He took Kyouya's hand and walked him back to their bed. Carefully going under the covers he made sure not to upset himself as he took Kyouya with him. Once Kyouya was settled he moved closer to him, allowing Kyouya's arms to wrap around him. They were so warm, and soft. Bringing his head closer to his chest he could smell Kyouya's body-wash that he showered with last night still lingering on him. He never wanted this moment to end he wanted to have Kyouya's arms around him forever, to be able to smell the sweet scent that came off him. Moving up just slightly he kissed Kyouya's lips before resting his head between his shoulder and neck.  
_*What will I do if this isn't here one day?* _As much as he hated the thought it was one he kept asking. Kyouya promised they would be together for many years to come but what if fate didn't like that idea? His eyes opened wider as he felt Kyouya hold him a little tighter, more securely. They both knew this moment wasn't there last but that didn't make it any less important in their hearts.

Both fell asleep for a few more hours and woke up seeing it was just after nine. They sat together in bed for a half hour or so before Tamaki got up to let more light in the room from the window. As much as staying in bed all day sounded nice it wasn't all that logical.  
"Tamaki you're not going in today I take it?"  
"My father gave me the day off. Seeing how bad I was yesterday why, something on your mind?"  
"I was thinking, I know it's still early but then who knows the shape I'll be in later."  
Tamaki sat on Kyouya's side of the bed and just watched him. His sentence seemed to trail off as if it was leading into his own thoughts and not meant to be heard.  
"What's on your mind Kyouya?" He really didn't like when Kyouya started a thought but never ended it, especially recently.  
"If you're not going to work than perhaps we should go out. I've been thinking, I know it's much sooner than I would like but today might be the best day. I was thinking we could get things for the nursery today. I would have rather liked going once we knew the gender but I may be in the middle of my treatment and too tired to go out and shop. So what do you say we get what we can now and then finish at a later date?"  
"We could do that but shouldn't you just stay home and take it easy for tomorrow?"  
"I don't think it's that straining. Though with you that may not be the case."  
Tamaki huffed as he walked into the bathroom to shower so he could get dressed. If Kyouya really wanted to go out it would help.

Kyouya sat on the bed, he thought about following Tamaki into the bathroom and either showering with him or just talking with him. That idea changed as he placed a hand on his side. He felt strange this morning. All he wanted to do was sleep this morning and under his hand hurt. This wasn't a good sign; things couldn't be getting worse this quickly could they? He just had to shake it off, he was getting paranoid. He was never a morning person so he didn't want to get out of bed and as for his side. Tamaki had fallen asleep with his arms around him and they were keeping each other close. Problem solved, seeing no more reason to worry and possible worry Tamaki. Though, if what he feared was true then, today was a day he didn't want to skip. He wanted to be there for Tamaki any way he could and this was supposed to be a big thing for expecting parents. Creating the perfect nursery for their child was something parents got excited for. And he wanted it to be a perfect, not only because his child deserved it but because he wanted them to know that he loved them. He wanted them to know that and never forget just in case he couldn't tell them directly.

After breakfast they left to go shopping. Tamaki was still unsure about this whole idea but Kyouya insisted he felt fine and wasn't really straining him to walk in a store. After a few hours they decided to stop in a nearby park and just relax. It was warmer for a day in December and so it called to be enjoyed. As they sat by the little stream the park owners created Tamaki couldn't help but watch Kyouya out of the corner of his eye. He seemed to be acting strange all morning. No, not strange that was the wrong word. He seemed like something was bothering him.  
"Are you sure nothing's wrong?"  
Kyouya looked over at Tamaki, so he had been watching him just now.  
"I'm fine so stop asking. I think I slept funny last night, parts of me are sore that's all."  
"Oh, I see, well okay. If you're really sure it's nothing."  
"How many times must I tell you that I'm fine? I'm not glass about the break from being cracked so stop treating me as such." He did hurt still though, in the same part as this morning. Feeling it still scared him but he hoped he wasn't letting Tamaki know. Tomorrow, nothing could change before tomorrow. If it spread out of his kidneys before the surgery tomorrow then they may not do it. No he couldn't think like that, not now, not ever. He promised Tamaki he would beat this and that was exactly what he intended to do.  
"Tamaki what do you say to getting lunch?"  
"Lunch? Yea sure we can do that." Getting up they headed back to the street to find somewhere to eat. It wasn't the greatest idea Kyouya could have come up with but it got the focus off him.

Sooner than they would have liked the sky became dark and they headed home. They had a busy day tomorrow so turning in early made the most sense. The surgery may not be until noon but he had to be at the hospital by nine for all the prep work. That was so early in the morning, though he could sleep in later than if he was working he still needed an alarm. Kyouya was surprised that he was ready to fall asleep before the clock turned ten. Tamaki had gone downstairs to work on something for his father for Monday. Who knew when Tamaki would come up to bed, he really hated falling asleep alone but it couldn't be helped.  
"He owes me." Grumbling he rolled over to fall asleep for the night. He was just dozing off when he felt Tamaki got into bed.  
"Bout time." He grumbled as he rolled over and put an arm around Tamaki.

"Your hand is shaking Tamaki."  
"Oh, is it?"  
Kyouya sat on the hospital bed already looked up to an IV. He hadn't seen Akito yet or Dr. Yamashita though he didn't expect to until it got closer.  
"Why is your hand shaking so much?"  
"I don't know, maybe it's your hand."  
Kyouya just raised an eyebrow at him, he had to be joking.  
"Relax, it will be fine. Trust Akito and the ones he appointed."  
"I do, honestly I do. The thought of surgery just makes me nervous."  
Kyouya started to laugh, that was typical he should have expected to hear that.  
"Can you do me a favor Tamaki?"  
"Sure what is it?"  
"Make sure Fuyumi doesn't have a panic attack. You can help her relax and she will help you. So can you do that for me?"  
Tamaki fixed his position on Kyouya's hand to get a tighter grip on it.  
"Sure. Consider it done." He smiled for a second before releasing their hands and standing up straighter.  
"Tamaki? Are you alright?" The words no sooner left his mouth as Tamaki's hands flung to his and he turned to ran into the adjacent bathroom. Obviously his nerves weren't working well with his already nauseous feeling. Maybe it would get him to relax a little more, no probably not. This was Tamaki he was talking about after all.

Tamaki sat with his father, Fuyumi and their friends in the waiting while the transplant took place. Tamaki wasn't really worried about something going wrong, Akito was highly trained and had done transplants before, and the same went with Dr. Yamashita. There was a reason he was rated the best, he wasn't worried but Fuyumi was another story. No wonder Kyouya asked him to help her. Haruhi was talking to her now and that seemed to be helping but everyone could tell she was nervous. Hunny walked back in from the cafeteria holding a snack for himself and a bottle of water for Tamaki that he asked for.  
"I appreciate it Hunny." Opening the cap he swallowed almost half. Maybe he was more worried than he thought. Hunny started to talk to him about something and any conversation was good except he kept talking about snacks he got to try during his family travels which at times just made Tamaki queasy again. He did not need this right now. No matter how many times Kyouya said it at times he felt this pregnancy was shitty timing. Now was one of those times. Getting up he moved to the loveseat the room held to try and relax a little better. He felt exhausted though it was only two in the afternoon. He forgot to ask how long the transplant would take and could feel his body asking for a nap. Mori was on the other seat so he asked him to wake him up if he did happen to doze off and someone came into the room. Nodding that he heard the request he handed Tamaki the pillow from behind him.

It was easier to fall asleep than Tamaki suspected. He opened his eyes to see it dark outside; looking at the clock he noticed it was a quarter after five. Had he really slept for three hours?  
"Have we heard anything yet?"  
Before anyone could answer a nurse walked into the room. Everyone sat up waiting to hear what she said.  
"Both Kyouya and Jiro are out of surgery. The transplant went without a problem, Kyouya is still in recovery but should be moved into a room later this evening so long as his numbers stay as strong as they are now."  
"Can we see him?" That's what Tamaki wanted to know, his heart wouldn't be content until he saw him. Fuyumi could check on Jiro and of course he would see him as well but right now he needed to see Kyouya.  
"Technically no, but he asked for you ." He was on his feet, beside her and waiting for her to take him to him in an instant.

At first he thought Kyouya was asleep when he walked in. His eyes were closed and it didn't look like they gave him his glasses yet. Walking next to him he took his hand to let him know he was here as he requested. Kyouya opened his eyes feeling Tamaki's hand. He didn't have to open his eyes to know that was Tamaki, his touch was burned into memory. It was a good thing too as he could barely make him out without his glasses.  
"Your hand stopped shaking, that's good."  
Tamaki smiled before bending over to kiss him, it seemed Kyouya was doing very well. Before he touched his lips he realized that that wasn't the best idea. Kyouya had just undergone major surgery and couldn't risk getting sick. With that he kissed his neck.  
"I love you and am glad to know you're doing so well."  
Kyouya took his hand out from under Tamaki so he could touch the back of his head. He loved feeling him under his hand, his hair between his fingers, knowing he was here. This was why he went through this, all and only for him.  
"I love you too Tamaki, it's nice to see you smiling."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Okay so in this story a lot of people are asking the same question. How is Tamaki pregnant? The answer is I don't know how, I was on the subway getting back from class and this idea came into my mind. I never thought it would have issues as this isn't my first mpreg with Tamaki. Actually it's my fourth and for one of them I never explained how it happened either. I thought about using Haruhi but her personality won't work for later on so I kept Tamaki. I hope that helps and people continue to enjoy it. Please review.  
~Femalefighter~


	8. Step in the Right Direction

Chapter 8  
**Step In the Right Direction**

**Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

Kyouya reached over to the table beside his hospital bed to reach for another book. He was so bored, he told Tamaki to go back to work on Wednesday after his operation so he had nothing to do during the day. Tamaki was hesitant and reluctant but there was nothing he could do here and it was dumb for them both to do nothing. Sure he loved conversation but they didn't talk about anything worth making Tamaki miss work for. Being here did allow him to catch up on some reading that he put off for work and Tamaki though so that was the one plus side so far. He was here for a week tomorrow and he already read fourteen novels, two were seven hundred pages. He needed to leave soon before he lost his mind. He tried TV but he just wasn't a big fan of it. Though he did catch this very interesting movie on stocks in America which he got lost in for a few hours, but that was it. Even the news bored him; he couldn't recall how many times he fell asleep with it on. Opening to the first page he got only a few lines in before he put the book on his lap and closed his eyes.

Tamaki walked into Kyouya's room just as he did after work since Wednesday. He couldn't help but smile as he saw Kyouya asleep, his mouth open just slightly, head resting against his pillow, book on his lap. He looked so defenseless which made him hot. Since he was asleep Tamaki ran out of the room to get something to eat so Kyouya didn't complain about hearing his stomach growl, unlike yesterday. It wasn't his fault; he just wasn't hungry when he left work until he was already with Kyouya. He just got back when Kyouya woke up.  
"Have you been here long?" Sitting up he rubbed his eyes and realized his mouth was dry. Had he been drooling, how unsightly.  
"Not really I think, I got something to eat."  
"And I didn't have to force it down your throat, I'm shocked."  
"Maybe not but I'll be sorry I can already feel it."  
"Well I still think not eating has only made you feel worse. Have you talked to Akito today?"  
"No, why did something come up?"  
"Nothing bad, he says that if I stay strong I could go home next week and then start the treatment sometime then."  
"Next week? That's great! He made it sound like you would be here for three weeks at least. But hold on did he not stop the cancer cells with the operation?"  
"Don't panic he did, since it hadn't spread out of my kidneys. This is to help prevent it from coming back and I can do it straight from home. I believe it's a pill." He could tell Tamaki was starting to freak out thinking the operation failed. Explaining the reason for the coming treatment helped him calm down and breathe better. Hearing it was also just a oral pill made the complete difference, obviously it didn't sound so bad going to the hospital for chemo.  
"Remember what I told you Tamaki I'm not going anywhere for a very long time. I hate you too much to just leave. I want to make you suffer and make your life hell still."  
"Hey, that's my job!"  
"And you do it so well every day." He had Tamaki move his head closer to kiss his forehead. He couldn't wait until he could kiss those soft, perfect lips again. This whole forehead, neck business just wasn't cutting it for him. It just wasn't the same.

They talked for hours, everything felt right for once. At one point they had forgotten they were in a hospital room until a nurse came in. Visiting hours seemed to be ending; today went by fast, well for Tamaki anyway. He hoped it did for Kyouya as well.  
"I can't wait until your home. The bed and house seem so big and empty with you."  
"I can't wait until I'm home. Hopefully by next week I will be. See you tomorrow."  
"Well…actually…"  
"Is everything okay?" Kyouya raised an eyebrow as he noticed Tamaki advert his eyes around the room. He was acting strange all of a sudden and there was no way he was going to lie about it.  
"Yes, it's just that…well; I don't think I can come tomorrow. I have a late presentation and I won't get out until seven at the earliest, so."  
"Why are you squirming? It's fine, do what you have to do and don't worry about me. It's not like I can get in trouble here if I'm by myself."  
"But I feel bad. I imagine you get lonely being here in bed all day."  
"I'll read or sleep like I do every other day when you're working. Don't worry about me."  
"Are you sure? I promise to call you when I get home."  
"Tamaki, come here." Taking his head in his hands he kissed next to his lips so Tamaki wouldn't break away too soon. "Go to your meeting and kick ass in it. When your home and relaxing you can call and talk my ear off. Don't call thinking you have to. If you do I'll hang up on you, alright?"  
"Okay, I'll do it your way. Talk to you tomorrow then."

Tamaki got home happy to finally get out of his work suit. Sitting in the bed he watched TV waiting for his eyes to close. This was what he did every night since Sunday, Saturday after he saw Kyouya he passed out when he got home. Since then though all he did was toss and turn not from not feeling Kyouya beside him. This way he could fall asleep in complete exhaustion instead of laying in bed thinking about how he was alone. Next week he wouldn't have to worry about it, Kyouya would be home and all would be right again. Even if Kyouya wasn't back to normal right away he would be home and on the path to move past this. Knowing that, he could fall asleep easier tonight then the nights before this. That was good; he had a busy day tomorrow so he would need all the energy he could get.

Kyouya fell asleep again soon after Tamaki left for the night. He would be bored tomorrow since he looked forward to Tamaki's visits but it couldn't be helped. He did tell him to go back to work after all and meetings weren't uncommon in his job. He wondered if Jiro had been released yet. He hadn't seen him since before the operation but he figured he had had been since he didn't have to be monitored for rejection, just for major complications that could happen soon after the operation. But he hadn't heard anything like that happening so he was probably all clear. He personally felt sore but that was to be expected and he felt good otherwise. Getting out of this bed felt sweeter and sweeter with each passing second, how he missed home.

Paperwork, so much paperwork, this pile never seemed to decrease. It didn't take long to sign the discharge papers but there was more to cover with home care and eating right. Blah, blah, blah, he just wanted to go home already, he could read this all there. Having Akito finally tell him everything was good was like music to his ears.  
"About time."  
Akito started laughing hearing that; he didn't blame Kyouya in the slightest for wanting to get home. Staying in a hospital for any amount of time wasn't really considered fun. Having his car pull up to his house gave him such joy. There really was no place like home.

Was this really the right date? Kyouya pulled his phone out of his pocket to see if it matched the day on the calendar that was after the last marked off date. It couldn't be right, had he really been home for three weeks already? It didn't feel like that much time had passed. A week maybe but not three.  
"Kyouyaaaa, I'm bored!" Tamaki walked into the kitchen wrapping his arms around Kyouya's shoulders. "You don't have an appointment this week, its next week."  
"I've been home for three week already. Can you believe it?"  
"Yes because I still feel like crap most mornings and fall asleep during my lunch hour but it has gotten better."  
"Not much longer than I suspect which is good."  
"Damn right it's good. I'm excited to feel better. Now enough of this and let's do something!"  
"Do what? You know I am still limited in what I can do."  
"I know that but I'm bored with paperwork for Monday. We could watch a movie since its cold out today."  
"Fine, but can it not be a modern Romeo, Juliet story. That last one was a disaster." Kyouya couldn't begin to describe how bad it was, it wasn't even a retelling of Romeo and Juliet it just held that story arch.  
"I told you I was sorry, how was I supposed to know it was that bad. It had a good rating online."  
"That should have told you something right there."  
"Alright already I learned my lesson. You pick one then." Taking Kyouya's hand he dragged him out of the kitchen, away from the calendar, and into the living room.

As payback for the last one Kyouya picked a war film knowing Tamaki wasn't a fan. Though to get Kyouya back he fell asleep about mid-way through. Personally he had no interest in war films unless they were documentaries so when he chose one like this it was usually to get back at Tamaki for something. Letting the credits roll in the background he looked at Tamaki who had just fallen over onto his shoulder. Typical, it was just like him to lean on him when he fell asleep on the couch, and he loved every minute of it. Staring at the soft, peaceful, happy face he wondered about how he would have handled never seeing that face again. What if he was told that he was dying, how he would say good-bye to him? Or, even how Tamaki would handle losing him, would he move on? He was happy knowing that he would be around longer now. He loved Tamaki with his whole heart he didn't want him to be alone. He didn't want him to raise their child, a child he had been hoping for, for the last three years, alone.

Again Kyouya sat in Akito's office with Tamaki for an update. He felt good which was great but he did the last time too so he couldn't go by that. In his mind he kept telling himself this was to make sure his new kidney was still working well. Hearing Akito say everything was looking and working well were the best words in the world to both of them. It was still too early to go back to work but it was definitely a step in the right direction. With this news he could really look forward to Tamaki's appointment in four days. He was truly loving life right at this moment. Hopefully he was telling Tamaki how much he loved him and how much he loved life and everything in between. If not he was going to start because he deserved to know. If he was allowed to express his love non-verbally he would because Tamaki deserved to know in the best way possible. Since he couldn't do that yet it seemed a nice dinner out would have to do instead.

Neither were saying they didn't like seeing Akito but between him and Tamaki's doctor they liked her better. They weren't so worried about bad news when they noticed the date was approaching. While they knew bad or troubling news could come up they felt it was less likely to. Both were using the pregnancy as an escape, though neither ever planned to admit it. They couldn't move on until Kyouya could get back to his life completely and even then his life would never really be the same since he would have to see a doctor every year. So with this they were able to forget that if even for a little bit.  
"Well Tamaki you've lost a few pounds since last visit but that is normal for some due to the morning sickness. Also I need to apologize for what I told you last visit. I told you your due date was around July seventh but that would only put you at thirty-four weeks so it should be around the first of August."  
"August huh?" Okay August first then!" He looked over and smiled at Kyouya who smiled back. Kyouya could tell Tamaki's inner thoughts with that look. He was telling him he had to stay cancer-free until August. Well plus that but August was a good place to start. Kyouya could agree with Tamaki's feeling, he could stay alive, healthy, and strong for August. No problem, he would do anything for Tamaki and their child.

0o0o0o0o0o

OMG this chapter sucks and should not have taken me this long to update. As you can tell I am hit with a bit of writers block for all of my stories. I have ideas but not enough to write a chapter with so bare with me. This happens when I am whirl winding chapter updates but it shouldn't last much longer (hopefully). Please review but if it's to say this story sucks or something along those lines please say us both the time and don't bother. Thanks.  
~Femalefighter~


	9. I can what!

Chapter 9

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!

Rolling over, Tamaki faced Kyouya in bed. Opening his eyes just slightly he could see the other still sleeping. The sun light coming in through the blinds lighting up the others face, they looked peaceful sleeping so soundly. Their face was even prettier than it already was by the sunlight. Tamaki continued to stare at his lovers face and wonder what he was dreaming of. It helped that he wasn't sick most mornings anymore allowing him the pleasure to lie in bed a little longer and do this. Seeing that it was already nine thirty he decided to get up and ready for the day. He figured Kyouya would be up soon anyway but if not he would wake him after he showered so they could get breakfast together. Things were peaceful right now, he hoped with his entire being; body, mind, and soul that it stayed that way for them. A part of him told him it would while the other part told him to be ready. While he wanted to ignore and forget that one part and just solely focus on the good he knew he couldn't. To do so was childish and he was an adult going to bring a child into the world in seven months he had to grow up.

"Mmmm, morning Tamaki." Looking over he saw Kyouya waking up. There was a smile on his face already. He was surprised to see Tamaki up and watching some part of him. He couldn't say he had been watching him sleep, well not entirely since he noticed Tamaki hadn't been looking at his face.  
"Morning, sleep well?"  
Putting a hand around Tamaki's waist he pushed on his back to pull him closer.  
"How do you feel? I'm already surprised to see you still in bed and comfortable."  
"I feel a thousand times better than I was two weeks ago."  
"Glad to hear it." Kyouya had Tamaki lean in a little closer so their lips could meet. If every morning could be as nice as this one was then maybe he could hate them a little less, just maybe.

Channel after channel after channel and still nothing that peeked an interest in Kyouya. The channels he loved weren't showing anything great or it was a re run he had seen before. This was one plus side to working; it made the day go by faster. Tamaki was out at his own job leaving him to fend for himself. It wasn't even so much that he disliked being home it was just the fact that he had nothing to do. Reading was always an option but his eyes were still tired from all the books he went through when he was still in the hospital. There had to be something, anything he could do here.

"Why not get a hobby sir?"  
Looking slightly over to his left he saw the housekeeper, she was polishing the good silver so it could be used at a moment's notice. He sat at the kitchen table eating lunch, she had intrigued him with what she said.  
"A hobby? Don't I already have one?"  
"If you count reading one, then yes. But, a hobby is something you can always turn to."  
"I can always turn to a book." He didn't see what she was getting at.  
"But you seembored with it. Why not try something new?"  
Now he was curious, maybe even beyond curious with those words. What hobby could he try to pick up?  
"I'm not the musician Tamaki is. Playing an instrument has never been my forte."  
"Maybe not that but do you love to write or draw? Even if you're not good at drawing you could always take a class. Or maybe crafting models of some sort, I see you being very good at that."  
Now he was fully interested in this conversation. While he still wasn't completely sold on the whole "hobby" thing, taking an art class didn't sound half bad. He had loved to write in high school in his spare time, actually now that he thought about it in the attic here was a box filled with notebooks he wrote in back then. Nothing worth trying to publish since he didn't believe anything was good but it was valuable to him. He also did well in his art classes, probably to make up for the music ones.  
"I wonder if I'm still decent at drawing."  
"Well sir you'll never know until you find out. And just think of how nice it would be if you could create something to give to your son or daughter."  
Now she got him, the child was already a major soft spot for him and they hadn't even been born yet. Finishing up with what she was doing the housekeeper left Kyouya sitting at the table completely lost in his mind. She could already tell he would make a wonderful father and would end up spoiling the child no matter what the gender.

Already knowing he was going to be sorry Tamaki looked at the digital clock on his desk. Seeing it only read two in the afternoon he knew he had been right. For some reason today just seemed to be dragging on forever. Perhaps it was from all the paperwork he had been working on since he got here at nine. Hearing a knock at the door seemed to be a blessing right now, unless it was his father looking for the documents he was still working on. Having whoever it was enter he saw his father but it didn't look like this visit was completely business related.  
"Can I do something for you father?" He noticed Yuzuru seemed different, almost as if he was up to something.  
"I wanted to warn you Tamaki, your grandmother is coming to pay us a visit it seems. I believe that if I am here with you then she will talk to us at once then be on her way." Tamaki couldn't help but find it funny that his father, as much as he loved Shizue, his mother, he was always happier when she wasn't around.  
"Sounds good to me father. I was just trying to finish the files for tonight anyway."  
Yuzuru sat in one of the chairs on the opposite side of Tamaki's desk saying nothing so he wouldn't bother his son. He gave him a lot of credit to him for being at work with so much going on at home. He had been prepared for him to take some time off to stay with Kyouya but he was back at work only a few days after Kyouya's surgery. Tamaki sure was growing up and becoming a hardworking man. Still he figured he would allow himself to step back and take a deep breath before he had health problems of his own.

"Father, does Grandmother know about what's going on with me and Kyouya at home?" While he respected her he knew that she had never been completely okay with his idea to marry Kyouya. She never voiced a thought about it but he could always tell she hadn't been thrilled over the news. Not to mention the fact that she didn't seem crazy about Kyouya since they butted heads when they were together and left alone. Plus in all honesty he just didn't want to hear her advice, if she gave any.  
"I haven't told her anything so unless someone else did then no. I thought it best for you to do it when you both were ready."  
"Thank you. I probably should soon before it becomes completely obvious and when I do I should tell her about Kyouya. Maybe she'll stop arguing with him if she knows."  
"You know Tamaki she respects Kyouya quite a lot. That is why she argues with him, they match wits and she enjoys that."  
"Could have fooled me."  
They sat in silence for a few minutes, Tamaki started to get back to work before he father spoke again.  
"Any plans for the fourteenth?"  
"Huh? The fourteenth, no why, what's the fourteenth?" Looking over he picked up his desk calendar and flipped over from the last week of January to next month. He didn't think he had plans that day. Looking closer he saw that that was Valentine's Day. He hadn't thought about it since it wasn't even February yet. As much as he loved the holiday he didn't think about it before they were in the right month for it. "No and I doubt we'll do anything for it which is fine." He figured his father was asking for a specific reason and not only to create conversation, but, what was the reason?  
"I am thinking about flying out to see your mother around then. I know you think it is risky to visit her still but I believe you should come with me one of these times. She has been asking about you and I know you both would be happy to see each other again."  
His father was right, he would be happy to see his mother again, and he wanted to talk to her. But he feared his grandmother's control over her well being still. As far as he knew she never gave Yuzuru control over that yet so she still controlled his mother's fate and he couldn't hurt her. She was too important to him to risk it.  
"She saw pictures of your wedding you know, and she has told me how sorry she was that she couldn't make it."  
"I know, her health is more important to me. We tried to move it to a later date but it was too late to change anything."  
"I remember you telling me that. Anyway, Tamaki, what I am getting at is that maybe you and Kyouya should fly out with me and spend the week in France. You have no real plans so you could just make arrangements to go out somewhere to eat out there."  
"I know, I'll think about it and bring it up with Kyouya then I'll let you know." He already figured Kyouya wouldn't want to go unless he told him he wanted to and he was still uncertain about it. Plus he wasn't even sure if Kyouya was allowed to fly now that he thought about it.

Sitting back in his chair he rocked back and forth using his toes before sitting upright quickly when his office door opened. Both, seeing it was Shizue, were on their feet to greet her as she entered.  
"Mother glad to see your looking well."  
"Don't try to flatter me Yuzuru it doesn't help you."  
Tamaki held back a laugh knowing it would turn around and earn a comment from her as well.  
"What brings you here today grandmother? What can I do for you?" Both men sat down after she had in the empty seat besides Yuzuru. The sooner they got started the sooner she would leave. Whenever she was near everyone became tense.

Kyouya sat in the home office focused on the piece of paper staring up at him. He had cleared the desk off of everything he didn't need to have so he could get the most space and now with tools he hadn't touched in what felt like ages, he drew. At first he just stared at the paper in his notebook, he was bored but he didn't have anything to draw. Within a half hour he came up with something and began outlining it all out. He wasn't expecting some grand work of art but something that didn't look like a five year old drew was always good. Looking up to see how it looked so far he noticed it was five already, Tamaki would be getting out of work now and be home soon. Flexing his hand to allow it to crack and un-cramp he put everything back in the container he found them in. Tomorrow was another day after all and once Tamaki was home he wanted to spend the time with him. Moving to the living room he put on the news and waited for him, he could smell dinner coming from the kitchen already, making his mouth water and his desire for Tamaki to come home greater.

Tamaki walked into the front door inhaling when the smell of dinner hit his nose. Closing the closet door he turned to see Kyouya leaning against the wall besides him.  
"Welcome home Tamaki. I will never get tired of saying that to you."  
"Typical." Smiling, he moved closer to kiss him hello before taking his hand and walking into the dining room so they could eat. He loved coming home to Kyouya waiting for him but he would be happy when he could go back to work. For no other reason than knowing Kyouya was cured and healthy and going to be around for much longer. After dinner he brought up his father's trip and their invite. Kyouya had agreed that going would be good to go but he didn't feel now was the right time.  
"Your father's right you know, you really should go see your mother. You haven't seen her since you learned where she was. However I don't feel that going the week your father is going is the right thing to do. Perhaps we could go at the end of the month." That did sound like a good idea and one that was hard to disagree with.  
"We can do that, I'll take the week off and we'll go visit my mother then."  
"Sounds good, she'll be happy to see you I'm sure." Kyouya took his hand under Tamaki's shirt to place it on his back to get him closer. Being on the couch limited how much space they had but one could lean on the other without a problem. Beaming his famous smile he hovered just above Kyouya, his arms were trapping him in.  
"I'm sure she will. I bet she will be happy to see all of us."

Maybe the morning sickness wasn't such a bad thing. Right now he would take that over this since he would usually feel slightly better once he got sick. With this he could do nothing to feel any better, not really, not unless he told Kyouya and it was slightly embarrassing. Not to mention that him knowing wouldn't solve anything. Getting up from his desk to clear his head he walked into the hall to refill his coffee mug with water from the dispenser, finishing it with one gulp he refilled it again before going back to his office. If this kept up Kyouya would figure something was going on.  
"Craaaaaaap." Moaning he sat back down on his desk allowing his head to hit the top of it.  
"What Tamaki? I didn't catch that." Snapping his head up he saw his father in front of his desk. He didn't even hear him come in.  
"Nothing, sorry. What's up? Need me for something?" Trying to forget the fact that he was fifteen weeks pregnant and dealing with the side effects from it he focused on work as best he could.

Being home was another challenge, a harder one. Kyouya really had to go back to work already. They sat in the living room watching TV after dinner as they did most nights. Tamaki was in love with this one game show. Kyouya found it stupid but he would put up with it and get a good laugh from how animated Tamaki would become from it. The show might suck but Tamaki made it great. Kyouya watched as Tamaki's leg twitched as he placed a hand on his thigh.  
"Tamaki?" Kyouya didn't mean to scare him; he had hoped to bring him closer. But instead he ended up making him get up off the couch. That wasn't what he wanted in the slightest.  
"I'm going to head to the kitchen, get something to drink. Want something?"  
"No I'm okay, is everything alright?"  
"Yea fine, just sensitive I guess."  
Kyouya watched him leave the room, knowing he was clearly missing something, what though, he had no idea.

Ever since that other night Kyouya kept a closer eye on Tamaki's behavior. Something told him it wasn't from being "sensitive," Sunday night Kyouya sat on the bed waiting for Tamaki to come into the room. He seemed to be spending most nights in the past week in the home office. That was rare for him, only once or twice before did Tamaki have to spend time outside of his work on something for it. Something was definitely going on with him. Closing the book he was reading while he waited he put it on the night stand as Tamaki entered.  
"Oh, I hope I didn't keep you up." He had hoped Kyouya would be asleep already.  
"Well no, but, I actually enjoy falling asleep with you beside me so I was waiting." Keeping an eye on Tamaki he watched him head to the closet to change out of his clothes and into his pajamas. What was he hiding?  
"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to take so long." Once he changed he went to his side of the bed. Kyouya noticed he didn't get closer to him, again. There was no way he was putting up with this for another night. As he moved closer he saw Tamaki tense up. So he was being watched too was he? His arms barely reached Tamaki's shoulders to move down his chest and hold him closer before he pulled away and sat near the foot of the bed.  
"Alright talk, what's got you so jumpy?"  
"I…it's nothing."  
"I'm coming closer." Teasing him with his voice he moved closer, again Tamaki tensed. He was preparing himself to move away again. Kyouya was faster though and got his arms around Tamaki before he could move off the bed.  
"Gotcha! Now talk, tell me why you're so jumpy to my touch."  
"Please release me.' His words were breathy and he knew Kyouya could tell. _* Damn it.*_ Swallowing he closed his eyes hoping Kyouya would take his hands away.  
"Why? What's wrong Tamaki? I can't be hurting you so talk to me."  
"It's nothing I promise. You're not hurting me it's something else and I'd rather not talk about it."  
"Tell me."  
Tamaki's body went stiff from Kyouya whispering that in his ear.  
"Okay, okay fine! But! You cannot laugh and you _have _to let me go right now."  
Happy to be getting somewhere he let Tamaki go and slid back a little to give him space. "Thank you." Exhaling he tried to get his body to calm down before he explained anything. What Kyouya did just now was the last thing he needed.

"So as you are very much aware I am pregnant and you aren't allowed to be too active."  
"Okay?' Kyouya still had no idea what Tamaki was getting at. Then again it usually took him a few minutes to fully understand anyway.  
"Please don't make me spell it out for you." Looking over his shoulder to see Kyouya wasn't grasping it he took a deep breath. He could already feel his face start to blush.  
"You can't be active in a certain way right? Because of your medication or something?"  
"Tamaki you've lost me right now. What are you getting at?"  
Rubbing his hair with both hands he let some strange noises escape his mouth before he turned to Kyouya.  
"I am really, _really _turned on by you. Every touch, every word, my mind is making everything practically a turn on and extremely dirty. And there is nothing I can do so it's only getting worse. This past week has been torture because all I've wanted to do is throw myself on you but I know I can't!" By this point Tamaki was using his whole upper body to help get his words across to Kyouya. Kyouya looked down at the sheets as he understood and felt bad for not understanding before.

"I'm sorry Tamaki. For not realizing sooner and for being unable to help you right now." He would if he could, he wanted to even before Tamaki said anything but he was still limited to what he could do. Even if he said screw it he knew Tamaki would never agree to go against Akito's orders.  
"Don't be sorry, it's not your fault." Tamaki felt bad now, he didn't want Kyouya to feel bad for him being so weak and unable to not want sex.  
Kyouya took Tamaki's hand in his own and had him look at him in the eyes for this.  
"Tamaki listen to me for a second okay. I know I can't help you right now and I probably won't be able to for a while still. With that being said, you can do whatever you have to do to help you. I won't get upset, I want to see you comfortable and able to relax so if you have to step out that's fine." Tamaki just stared at him, blinking twice just to see if he was dreaming. Did he just understand him correctly? Did Kyouya just give him permission to hook up with someone else?  
"Are you serious Kyouya? You're giving me permission to have sex with someone else, to cheat on you?"  
Hearing it back wasn't any easier than saying it out loud but he couldn't watch Tamaki be so uncomfortable and this was the only thing he could think of that would help him.  
"I am Tamaki. There is nothing I can do for you and this is the only way to fix that. I only ask that you be smart about it. Make sure they are clean and all that. I don't want you getting sick."  
"Can you hear yourself right now? Kyouya! You're telling me to cheat on you! Sure I want sex but I'm not about to go to the red light district for it! I love you I could never do that."  
"I know you love me, that is why I'm saying this, because I know you won't leave me for someone else."  
"Oh my god you're really serious about this!" Releasing their hands Tamaki got off the bed. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Never in a million years did he think Kyouya would tell him that because of their current situation he would let him hook up with anyone.  
"Look I'm not saying you have to I'm just saying the option is there if you need it."  
"Never! That isn't an option Kyouya! I think your medication is messing with your mind. This will pass just like the morning sickness so there is no need for your crazy idea." Before Kyouya could say anything else to defend this Tamaki walked into the bathroom. A cold glass of water was what he needed right now. Help him wrap his head around what was going on in Kyouya's.

Coming back into the room he sat on his own side of the bed. Kyouya slide beside him so he wouldn't have to talk to Tamaki's back.  
"I'm sorry for upsetting you Tamaki I was just trying to come up with a way for me to take care of you. Lately I feel like I can't and to put bluntly it sucks. Tamaki looked over and took his hand.  
"You are taking great care of me whether you believe it or not. I love coming home and seeing you here that's all you really have to do. Believe it or not Kyouya I am not all that high maintenance. You have to always be here, with me, that's how you can take of me. I could never see myself with someone else, ever. You're the only one I could share a bed with. So take care of me by making sure that never changes." Seeing the sincere, from the heart, look on Tamaki's face Kyouya felt his eyes become misty.  
"I love you Tamaki, more than words can ever really do justice for." Not thinking from being caught up in the moment he leaned over to kiss him. Tamaki didn't pull back but rather accepted the kiss and returned one to him.

Once they both decided to call it a night Tamaki had Kyouya get as close as he could. Feeling Kyouya's arms wrap around him, around their growing child made him relax the most he had all week. Yes, there really was no one else he wanted so close, ever. He could never really love anyone else as much as he loved Kyouya and honestly he didn't want to. He wouldn't have stayed with him, wouldn't have married him, and certainly wouldn't have agreed to start a family with him if he didn't. Kyouya held tightly to the only one he would ever allow to sleep with someone else when he couldn't be with them fully. Hearing that he wouldn't made him happier than words covered. A part of him figured he wouldn't but Tamaki had already sacrificed a good deal for him. He hoped Tamaki knew how much he truly loved him, how every fiber of his being could never get enough of him in this life.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

The writer's block is slowly fading so I hope to get back to this story soon. I am updating Love triangle next, then tears so I hope you all don't hate me too much. Thanks for reading though I know it breaks logic.  
~Femalefighter~


	10. Happy Days

Chapter 10

**Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

Sitting in Akito's office waiting for him to arrive Kyouya knew Tamaki would be pissed with him. He had "forgotten" about today's appointment so he sent Tamaki off to work. It was nothing against Tamaki per say it was just that he didn't want to see him worry about his visit for days on end before it actually happened. Still he knew Tamaki would find out somehow and then his mood swings would kick in and he would get an ear full.  
"So when do you leave for France?" Akito walked in placing his bag down, grabbed his stethoscope and got to work. Kyouya sharply inhaled at the cold metal, he really hated that.  
"Next Wednesday, why is something wrong?"  
"No, I was just curious since I knew it was coming up."  
"I see, well we were hoping to leave the twenty-seventh but Tamaki has an appointment the twenty-eight so we have no choice but to fly out the first."  
"Are you staying a full week? Take a deep breath for me."  
Kyouya did as he was instructed before continuing. "We are planning for a full week at least. I'm trying to convince him to stay until the eleventh instead of the ninth but he is being stubborn about it for some reason."  
"Well tell him not to worry about your health, from what I hear everything sounds clear but you know the drill, blood work and scans. So which do you want to take care of first?"  
"Blood work I guess since I'm right here."  
"Alright then." Walking over to the counter Akito got everything ready and put together. "Arm." Kyouya gave him his left arm just in case he bruised like last time.  
"How much longer do I have to do this? When can I go back to work?"  
Akito kept one eye on the needle while one stared at Kyouya wondering if he heard him right.  
"Kyouya most don't go back to work for six months to a year after and that's if they stay cancer free. You've only been out of work, what, three, four months tops? Sorry but you won't be joining me again for some time still."  
That wasn't what he wanted to hear, he was bored at home. While he loved being home to greet Tamaki he had nothing to do before then.  
"Even if I'm doing well I can't go back sooner?"  
"Are you broke or something? Look if you can't stand being home that badly we'll talk after your trip." Capping off the vial of blood he lead Kyouya down the hall for his scan and handed the blood sample to a nurse so it could be tested at the lab. As much as Kyouya wasn't crazy about all that took place during these visits he was grateful that it never took too long and the small talk he had with Akito was a nice touch.

Tamaki was finding it harder and harder each day to stay focused as next week approached. He couldn't wait for Tuesday so he could learn the gender of the baby and then the day after he was flying out to see his mother. He hadn't seen her since he was fourteen so saying he was excited was an understatement. He had only gotten reports about her health once his father told him about knowing where she was currently living. He had wanted to go see her after he graduated from Ouran, he had truly missed her but he feared his grandmother too much. Hopefully his mother would understand why he did it. As Tamaki tried to get back to work he wondered if his father said anything about him currently being pregnant when he saw her the other week. He hoped not so they could surprise her when they arrived. Even if Yuzuru did they could still surprise her with what they were learning soon so he guessed it didn't really matter. Let's see today was Monday the twentieth so that meant Kyouya had an appointment with Akito. Kyouya may have thought that he could "forget" to tell him that he was seeing him but _he _forgot that they had gone together the last time and he added it to his phone as Kyouya did. Still he wasn't mad, he could figure out why Kyouya would but he was going to get him tonight. Under normal circumstances he would tease him with sex but that plan would hurt him too and he was already having enough trouble dealing with that fact that he couldn't throw himself on him. While it had gotten a little better than it had been it was still there and probably wouldn't go away until he got what he desired. Getting his mind off sex, or lack of, he plotted different ways to mess with him.

Kyouya hated having the energy to do something when there was nothing to do. Since he was Akito's brother he got the results to his blood work and scan before he left the office. Everything came back fine which kept him in a good mood and even though he didn't have as much energy as he used to due to the medication he was still on he could still do things. Ever since he picked up drawing again he did that. He was planning to do a longer project but he still needed to know a few things first before he could start. Thinking about it there were some things he could do now. Heading into the garage he searched through drawers the staff used for what he needed. Having it take twenty minutes to find two of the three objects helped pass time. At least now he knew the staff was well equipped to handle almost any problem. Grabbing a pencil from his office he headed upstairs to finally get to work.

Tamaki walked into the house, hung up his coat and was surprised to not see Kyouya. This was a first since he had been home. Checking the living room and office to see both empty he started to worry that something happened at the doctors. Walking into the kitchen he was hit with the wonderful aroma of dinner and the staff setting the table up for it.  
"Welcome home Master Tamaki. Dinner will be ready shortly."  
"Have any of you seen Kyouya today?"  
"Yes sir I did. He came out of the garage and went upstairs I believe around one I think. I'm not sure what he is working on for he wouldn't say."  
"So he is home, okay, thank you." Turning around he walked out and up the stairs. There were only two rooms he could be working on, their bedroom and the nursery. Their bedroom, unless he wanted to remodel it, didn't need work so that left the nursery. Sure enough as he got closer he saw the door open and Kyouya in front of the wall on the left side of the room holding a tape measure and a pencil in his mouth. Not saying a word and trying not to make a sound he walked up behind him to see what he was working on.  
"Looks nice, what is it?" Kyouya jumped hearing Tamaki's voice, luckily his pencil wasn't on the wall. Erasing wasn't the easiest thing to do as he learned that the hard way already. What time was it? There was no way he spent four hours on this already, he had barely anything to show for it.  
"Hello Tamaki. Welcome home; and you'll find out when I'm done."  
"Oh come on please?"  
"Forget it. Do you know if dinner's done yet?" Stepping away from his outline sketch he realized he was quite hungry.  
"Just about I think."  
Taking Kyouya's hand he led him out of the room and back downstairs to the kitchen.

Kyouya was just about to stick a piece of dinner in his mouth when Tamaki got him. Looking over at him he saw that he wasn't angry, or didn't look it anyway but he did seem smug as he continued to eat like he said nothing.  
"So how did it go at your appointment?"  
"Just fine, everything came back normal and clear. Akito says hi by the way."  
"That's good to hear. When do you go back?"  
"The twenty-first of March at eleven."  
"I'll tell my father once we get back then."  
"Alright." It was stupid for him to say not to worry about it since Tamaki would complain and since he didn't seem mad at him for today he wasn't going to push it.

The week went by pretty uneventfully since Kyouya got a basically clean bill of health. It put both of them at calm states of mind since they didn't have to worry about that anymore. Monday night both sat in bed together, Kyouya kept his hands around Tamaki while they watched TV. Tamaki rested his head on Kyouya, this was comfortable to him. If he wanted to he could fall asleep just as they were. He wouldn't though since he figured it wouldn't be comfortable for Kyouya who was against the metal back board.  
"Any ideas for tomorrow Tamaki?"  
"Hmm? Any ideas for what?"  
Smiling while he rolled his eyes at how zoned out Tamaki was he moved his hand over Tamaki's slight baby bump while he kissed his neck. Tamaki smiled as he placed a hand over Kyouya's. It seemed Tamaki got what he was talking about now.  
"I don't know, I'm not hoping for one over the other I guess. We waited so long for this chance that I'll be happy no matter what we have. What about you?"  
"It would be nice to have a princess to spoil but we could do the same with a son as well so I'm either or as well."  
"I guess we'll find out tomorrow then."  
"I guess so."  
They stayed just as they were for awhile longer before calling it a night.

Today was a busy and exciting day for them. They got to learn of the baby's gender finally and then had to pack for their flight tomorrow. They could have packed earlier but they knew it wouldn't take long so they could wait without worry. Not to mention that it helped the excitement for Tamaki knowing that tomorrow he would be on his way to see his mother after thirteen years.  
"Tamaki are you dressed yet? You're going to be late if you take any longer." Kyouya walked into the bedroom from the hallway to see Tamaki getting his shoes on, about time.  
"I know. I had a dilemma getting dressed it seemed."  
"All good now?" Kyouya stood next to him watching him finish tying his shoes.  
"I'm dressed aren't I?" Standing up he fixed his foot in his shoe and started walking out. "We are going to have to stop somewhere before we come home and pack. I am _not _dealing with this in France."  
Since Tamaki hadn't yet said what "this" was Kyouya could only imagine he was talking about his clothes. He had been complaining about that for a while now. It wasn't that big of a deal; if Tamaki had to go shopping then they would go shopping. He could have gone sooner if he needed to so this wouldn't happen. All morning Tamaki seemed to be in a mood, he wasn't as playful as he usually was but Kyouya had no clue what he could be ticked off with. He was fine last night when they went to bed as far as he could remember he hadn't said anything to set him off before or during breakfast.  
"Tamaki, are you alright?"  
"Fine, now come on before we're late."  
"Okay." Well so much for that, still he wasn't going to give up. He would figure out what was bothering him. Maybe once they got to the doctors he would be in a better mood. If not then he would be forced to play the guessing game, a game he wasn't particularly crazy about.

As they sat in the waiting room Kyouya was surprised to feel his phone going off in his pocket. Who could be calling him?  
"Kyouya?" Tamaki noticed Kyouya trying to reach into his pocket while sitting down. It must have been his phone but it seemed odd that someone would contact him right now.  
"It's Akito."  
Tamaki saw the confusion and something close to worry on Kyouya's face. What could make Akito call?  
"Go answer it. If I get called in I'll have her wait until you come in."  
Nodding he stood up and walked out to see what was up. It couldn't be bad news, his appointment was last week and they had gone over the results right there in the office.

With Kyouya no longer beside him, Tamaki played with his hands. Since he couldn't hear the conversation he became worried. What if Kyouya had lied about his last visit? No, he wasn't like that. He was fine, everything was fine, but still he couldn't help but worry. Without fully realizing it he burst out into tears and cried in his hands. Kyouya walked back in glad to see Tamaki still sitting there, he hadn't been on the phone too long. As he got closer he became worried, why was he crying?  
"Tamaki, hey what's wrong? Why are you crying? Tamaki?"  
Tamaki lifted his head from his hands and wiped his eyes. Kyouya was sitting next to him with a worried look on his face. Obviously he was waiting to know what he missed when he stepped out.  
"Is everything okay Kyouya?"  
"Yes everything is fine. Akito just called to remind me to pick up my medication before my flight tomorrow so I don't have to worry about it in France. I don't have enough to last me the entire trip if I don't pick it up."  
"That's all?"  
"Yes, that's all."  
"You're not hiding anything from me?"  
"I'm not hiding anything from you."  
"Okay then." Tamaki laced their hands together happy to get that out of the way.  
"So why are you crying?"  
"I don't know, I've just been in an odd mood today that's all. I guess from having a lot on my mind it just finally got to me."  
Kyouya couldn't help himself from smiling as he wiped Tamaki's eyes. Oh how he loved him.

Getting called in shortly after changed both Tamaki's mood and thoughts. He quickly forgot about the phone call and crying for much more exciting things. Tamaki swung his feet back and forth over the edge of the table. It seemed childish but he couldn't help it. Right now he wanted things to really get underway so his legs couldn't do anything but swing while he waited. Kyouya stood patiently near him waiting as well, it seemed to sit when he would have to get up to see the screen shortly anyway. Plus, he wanted to be near Tamaki for this. They both had been waiting for this day for awhile now.  
Dr. Oshiro walked in the room soon after the nurse finished up. She didn't want to keep them waiting, as hot as she thought Tamaki and Kyouya were, Kyouya still scared her and pissing him off was the last thing she wanted.  
"Do you want to know the gender before I get started?"  
"Yes please!"  
"Alright then so long as I can get an image I'll let you know."  
Tamaki beamed his famous smile at hearing that; he really hoped she could find out because he couldn't wait any longer. Looking over at Kyouya he saw he held the same excitement in his eyes. He loved seeing Kyouya this excited. Or even happy for that matter, he never wanted to see him down, ever. Ever since he had gotten sick Tamaki noticed that he was trying hard to act like his normal self. The mood Kyouya had been in was for his benefit and so he wouldn't worry too much for him and now was his chance to do something for Kyouya. Let him forget about everything else and solely focus on something wonderful. It may be the only thing he could do for him but at least it was something.  
"Anything, Dr. Oshiro? Can you tell us if it's a boy or girl?"  
"Patience Tamaki, it can take a minute for the image to be clear. Even while I try to get a good image to tell you, you can look at the screen of you want." This was very true and would keep him happy; actually, it kept him very happy for now.

"There we go; see now I told you it just takes a minute." Both Tamaki and Kyouya's eyes were already glued on the screen. Tamaki was jealous again that Kyouya could probably figure out the gender on his own before the doctor told him. How he wanted that ability as well.  
"Tamaki are you alright? Please stop moving." Dr. Oshiro started laughing as she saw Tamaki start to squirm. But she had to have him stop so the image would stay clear.  
"I'm alright, just thought of something." His eye was still twitching in annoyance, stupid Kyouya.  
"If I tell you will you settle down?"  
"Dr. Oshiro, please allow me. Tamaki stop being such a spazz so the doctor can do her job. Besides you delaying what I want to know and you know I'm not a total fan of waiting."  
"Right, sorry Kyouya." Looking over at Kyouya he smiled before turning his head to the doctor. "I'm alright now, please continue." Dr. Oshiro was trying hard not to laugh as hard as she wanted to even though she was slightly confused by what just happened between the two of them.  
"Thank you. Now from what I can tell it looks as if you will be raising a baby girl."  
"A girl? Ah! Did you hear that Kyouya we're going to have a little girl."  
Tamaki was a whirlwind of emotions as the news settled, all happy, joyous ones but it was still a whirlwind.  
"I heard Tamaki, I heard." Somehow Tamaki's emotions were pouring into him and causing him to become chocked up.

The news they received kept them both in great moods as they ran the few errands they had to do before coming home to pack. That night Tamaki laid in bed trying to fall asleep. For some reason he had this nagging feeling that just wouldn't go away and let him sleep. No matter how close he was to Kyouya he couldn't keep his eyes closed. Of course he had to be restless; he only had to be a semi-early flight tomorrow. At least he could sleep on the plane; that was the only positive thing to not being able to sleep now. Looking up at the clock on his nightstand he saw it was reading four in the morning, this was getting ridiculous. Kyouya had fallen asleep soon after then turned the TV off and being the heavy sleeper that he was he hadn't woken up once the whole time he tossed and turned.

Kyouya stood over Tamaki surprised to see Tamaki still sleeping. Even as he tried to get him up all he got was mumbling.  
"Tamaki if you don't get up now you won't be able to shower and eat before we have to leave." Watching him mumble while moving the beds comforter over his head was cute and all but really wasn't working for him. It seemed he had to change tactics, to what exactly he wasn't completely sure, Tamaki had never been this hard to wake up before. Trying anything now he shrugged a 'why not' at himself and bent over to whisper in his ear. Seeing his eyes pop open from his seductive tone he chuckled at the reaction he got while he pulled away. Maybe it wasn't he tone but where he placed and moved his hands that got him? Tamaki did say he was super sensitive to his 'touch.' Oh well at least it worked, whichever one it was.  
"Ugh, Kyouya, ass, what time is it?" Tamaki rolled over on his back to stare at the ceiling covering his eyes with his arm.  
"What was that Tamaki? Do you want my ass or I am an ass? And it's a quarter after nine so get up."  
Tamaki, not in mood to deal with Kyouya's humor moved his arm off his eyes in attempt to smack Kyouya as he rolled back over to his side. Not really being close enough or in the mood to add much force, he ended up barely touching his leg with his finger tips.  
"You're dead this morning which is very rare for you. Did you not sleep well last night?" Sitting on the bed beside him he waited for an answer.  
"I couldn't fall asleep and when I did I ended up having this strange yet horrible dream." Seeing Kyouya's hand resting on the mattress he grabbed it before sitting up. As much as he wanted to go back to bed he knew Kyouya was right and he had to get up.  
"I'm sorry you had a rough night. Why didn't you wake me up? I would have tried to help you."  
"I know you need your rest so I didn't want to bother you."  
"Well next time it happens wake me up alright. But for now, just think, get up now and you can sleep on the plane"  
"Oh trust me I plan on it, last night or not."  
With that he finally got up to take a quick shower and eat so he wasn't starving at the airport.

Once he got going he was wide awake, thinking about seeing his mother soon was helping with a nice adrenaline boost. About two hours into the flight though he could feel himself slipping. Resting his head on Kyouya's shoulder he closed his eyes and fell asleep much faster than last night. Kyouya just watched him sleep for awhile so he wouldn't disturb him and besides he loved to watch him sleep. Even something as simple as sleeping was enjoyable to watch. It seemed his love for him always increased during simple times such as these. He wouldn't dare say peaked but it certainly increased. Seeing Tamaki was out cold he carefully opened his book he kept out of his carry on and started to read. With Tamaki unable to talk to him and a long flight still in front of him he was please he grabbed a long book from the house.

Tamaki couldn't recall how long he slept total, or how many times he woke up and fell back asleep. He figured he only woke up to eat and use the restroom during the entire length of the flight. Hearing Kyouya talking to him or what he believed was Kyouya talking to him he opened his eyes.  
"Sorry to wake you but we'll be landing soon."  
"Already?" Stretching the best he could in the seat he opened the blind next to him to see the Eiffel Tower lit up for the night. This as well as seeing all of Paris at night was breath taking, it felt wonderful to be back in France and he hadn't even landed.  
"Glad your here?" Kyouya leaned over to look out the window as well. The view was gorgeous.  
"I am. I feel…home." While he lived in and loved Japan seeing Paris again just gave him such an incredible feeling. It felt good to finally be back.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

This chapter should have been up much sooner but I couldn't get in a good typing mood last night and I watching a donation drive for Japan all weekend so my writing idea went right out the window. Please review, thank you.  
~Femalefighter~


	11. Hello Mother!

Chapter 11

Disclaimer- I own nothing!

Tamaki stood outside of the house his mother was supposed to live at with Kyouya besides him. She seemed to be living nicely which was good to know. That seemed to help settle some of his worries. Knowing his mother was inside waiting for him he started to walk up the front steps. They only waited by the door for a few seconds after ringing the doorbell before it opened. Tamaki stood there frozen as his eyes laid upon his mother. She looked the same as she did when he left, she even looked healthy, another worry he had for her disappeared. She took his free hand to bring him inside and get a better look at her son. He had grown up nicely it looked like.  
"Welcome back to France Tamaki. I'm so happy you decided to fly out." Pulling him close she kissed his cheeks also allowing herself to get a better look. "It's so good to see you again. Japan seems to have treated you well." Stepping back she walked over to Kyouya to do the same to him.  
"It's so good to see you again as well Kyouya. I can't believe it's been so many years since I've seen you both. Come, come I bet you both are hungry. Let me make something for us."  
"You don't have to do that mother, we can just order in." It felt strange to say 'mother' again and say it to the person it was meant for.  
"Nonsense it will only take a second to heat something up."  
He looked over at Kyouya for help, who only shrugged and walked in to see if he could help any. Not that he could cook to save his life but he could follow directions. Giving up, Tamaki followed him to help as well. It was great to be back here.

Sitting down to eat Annie- Sophia jumped in to catch up on all she had missed in her sons' life. She wanted to know all about high school, college, career, everything and anything that she would have known if they had lived together all this time. Kyouya sat and watched as Tamaki became animated talking about events that happened throughout the years. It was nice to see him like this, it beat seeing him so worried about things the way he had been back home. He wasn't going to bring up what was going on with him tonight, or even at all. If he could say nothing until they planned on leaving then that would be great. They came here to get away and catch up with Annie-Sophia why ruin that by bringing up something that could bring down the mood.  
"I have the guest bedroom all ready for you two. I bet you both want to relax after the long flight."  
"I don't know, Tamaki slept the entire flight."  
He was only playing around and thought Tamaki knew that but he still got huffed at and had a tongue stuck out at him.  
"I take that as a no. Fine by me, I'm wiped out. My eyes see no sun it's telling me it's time for bed."  
"I can imagine you both would want to. Do you guys want something special for breakfast tomorrow?"  
Tamaki shook his head no, he hadn't thought about it since he was still eating dinner but he didn't want to think about it either. If he thought about it then he could create a list, a very long list with all he wanted.  
"Well think about it tonight and let me know when you get up."  
Helping her clean up they followed her to the guest bedroom. Tamaki was pleased to see a nice up keep and how spacious the whole house was. His father was always saying she was taken care of but that had many meanings so he needed to see for himself. It didn't look like she had help staying here like he did back home but she looked well and everything around him looked good so he wasn't going to question it.  
"If you need something or can't find something let me know. My room is just down the hall."  
"Thanks mom, I think we'll be alright though. I have become quite resourceful living in Japan."  
"Yea, you got me around you."  
Both Kyouya and Annie- Sophia started laughing, Tamaki huffed and walked into the room.  
"Aww Tamaki, I'm sure Kyouya meant nothing by it."  
"He gets like this sometimes. He'll be fine in the morning."  
"Kyouya! Shut. Up."  
Kyouya laughed harder as Tamaki yelled at him from the bedroom.  
"Oh Tamaki don't be mean to Kyouya." When he didn't say anything from the room she looked at Kyouya who just sighed. "Goodnight Kyouya, I hope you sleep well."  
"You as well Anne-Sophia, goodnight."  
"Good night Tamaki!"  
He came out of the room to hug her good-night before going back into the room.  
"Is he alright?" Annie-Sophia couldn't help but ask, she didn't remember Tamaki having such a weird mood.  
"He is fine, apparently it's normal. Well goodnight ma'am." Leaving her confused in the hall he walked into the bedroom with Tamaki.

"You have completely baffled your poor mother."  
"Well if you weren't such a jerk than that wouldn't have happened."  
"I'm the jerk? You know what, never mind. Are you truly tired or do you want to do something?"  
Sitting up Tamaki just moved to stare at Kyouya. For some reason he reminded Kyouya of a puppy, those damn eyes.  
"Nah, I'd rather just stay here. We don't have to go to bed but we can just relax for awhile."  
Taking Kyouya's hand he pushed him on the bed beside him.  
"Sorry, about getting snippy before I hope you didn't get offended."  
"Its fine Tamaki I understand."  
Tamaki moved closer to Kyouya getting comfortable on him. Grabbing his waist he moved closer to be eye level.  
"What are you up to Tamaki?"  
Not that he didn't mind him being so close. Since it had been so long but he couldn't figure out what he was planning.  
"Nothing. I just want to be close. Close like we are now, maybe closer."  
"About time."  
Tamaki was surprised to see Kyouya close the gap between them. He thought it wouldn't have been so easy for this moment and any moment after.

"Holy…" Tamaki laid beside Kyouya resting on his arm. That had been long over due leaving them both pretty speechless.  
"I hope we didn't disturb your mother."  
"Oh crap I completely forgot about her." Even though the room was dark Kyouya could feel the heat coming off of Tamaki's face as he blushed from the thought of Annie-Sophia hearing what they did.  
"I wouldn't worry about it, her room is down the hall and not right next door."  
With that not really helping Tamaki moved away, he was going to tease him for his embarrassment only to be cut off by this phone. Tamaki turned his head at the noise.  
"Is that really your phone Kyouya? Can't people not call I mean we're on vacation."  
"Relax it's not my phone, well technically it is but it's my alarm. I'll be right back. Turning it off he grabbed a bathrobe from the chair and dug through his carry on. Tamaki sat up to watch him. Seeing what Kyouya was looking for he slapped himself. How could he have been so stupid just before?  
"Kyouya I'm so sorry. I hope you're not going to get sick or anything. Ugh how could I have allowed things to go so far with you when I knew you were still restricted in certain activities. I…"  
"Tamaki, its fine. I knew and started everything" He walked into the bathroom for a glass of water. "I still would have to take these anyway." Swallowing he walked back in the room to go back into bed.  
"Are you sure nothing is wrong?"  
"Positive, now let's go to bed. Tamaki I promise you, in the morning I'll be just as good as I am now."  
Without saying another word he wrapped his arms around him and fell asleep. Tamaki laid awake for a little while still trying to convince himself that he hadn't hurt Kyouya by allowing them to have sex. It had been really nice though since it had been forever, but had it really been worth it? If anything happened to Kyouya he would never be able to forgive himself, nothing was worth having anything bad happen to him. Moving Kyouya's arm around him better he got closer and fell asleep for the night.

Kyouya got up as the light from outside hit his eyes. Seeing Tamaki still asleep he tried not to wake him as he got up and ready for the day. If Annie-Sophia wasn't up he could make them coffee or something at least. By the time he got downstairs she was already up.  
"Good morning Kyouya, coffee?"  
"Morning Ma'am, and thank you."  
Grabbing a cup he sat across from her, it smelt good, being here reminded him of being at Haruhi's back in high school. Much bigger place than hers her but still had such a homie, welcome feel.  
"I'm surprised Tamaki is still asleep. He never slept in late as a child."  
"I think he had a rough night. Tamaki was always one to worry wasn't he?"  
"He was, I remember a handful of nights he came to my room worrying about something and unable to sleep from it."  
So he hadn't changed much at all then from when he was younger, that was good to know. About a half hour later Tamaki was up and downstairs ready for the day. Over breakfast and making plans for the day Annie-Sophia found out both of their secrets. She had the reaction the others had too and was what Kyouya had expected. It was part of the reason he wasn't going to say anything right away.

"Oh I am so happy for you both! Yuzuru told me you both had things going on and I'm so glad to hear it's something good. Kyouya I'm happy to hear you're on the road to recovery. If you need anything please let me know, obviously that goes for you as well Tamaki."  
"Thanks mother. By the way Kyouya how do you feel today?"  
"Fine as I said I would."  
"Good, though it is never happening again?"  
"Again, ever? I sure hope not."  
Annie-Sophia just watched the back and forth between them not really sure what was going on.  
"So you two have any plans for the time you're here?"  
"Well it's been years since either if us have been here so what's all the rage?"  
"All the rage?"  
"Great Tamaki confuse your poor mother. What do people go to see most here ma'am? That's what Tamaki meant."  
"Oh, well there is the normal sites, theater, shopping. It all depends on what you want to do."  
It took them an hour to come up with something and even that didn't seem like much. They decided to just walk the city and see where it took them.

The weather was cold for it only being the second of March but the sky was clear and full of sun making being outside pleasant. They hadn't gone anywhere in particular, just walked around checking out certain places as they came up to them while they caught up with each other. As the day became later they were thinking about seeing a show since Kyouya had never seen one here and it had been years since Tamaki went to one but Tamaki saw Kyouya fighting back yawns and decided they should head back to house.  
"I'm fine we don't have to head back on my account."  
"No I think Tamaki's right. I bet we could all use a break off our feet."  
Tamaki mouthed a thank you to Annie-Sophia who only smiled back. He was glad she saw it too and was willing to back him up.

Once they got back to the house Kyouya sat in the living room while Tamaki and Annie-Sophia made tea for them. When they walked out with it and to talk about dinner Tamaki wasn't the least bit surprised to see Kyouya asleep.  
"I love him but he is so stubborn."  
Seeing he was on the couch he took off his glasses and pushed him over so he could lay across it instead of keeping him sitting up the way he was. He mumbled as his body shifted in the new position but Tamaki knew he wasn't about to wake up.  
"I wish he wouldn't push himself so hard. I understand that his medication tires him out but he refuses to take it easy. He worries the hell out of me because I'm scared he'll over do it. I want him around forever, baby on the way or not."  
"Maybe he is in denial that anything is wrong?"  
"But that doesn't seem like him. He has never been one to deny something is going on. Like before we started dating he came to me telling me he liked me more than as the friends we were. Knowing we could have faced horrible consequences if our families didn't approve would have given him reason to deny his true feelings and change his mind on dating but he didn't."  
The more he thought about it though the more he wondered about it. Could Kyouya really be in denial that he was battling cancer? Sure he was recovering but he wasn't able to get back to his life yet.  
"Well I'm sure you know him better than I do but it was just a thought."  
"I know and I appreciate it." He watched Kyouya sleep for another minute before going back into the kitchen with Annie-Sophia to talk about food. He was hungry and knew what Kyouya liked in most things to order for him.

While they waited for it to be delivered Tamaki ran upstairs to grab something from his bag.  
"I want to show you something, father hasn't even seen this yet." Handing over the pictures he had from Tuesday he let her look. Seeing a smile cross her features made him smile and forget about his worries brought up earlier.  
"I'm so happy for you. It looks like everything is going well. Am I right?"  
"Yep things couldn't be better. Mother can I ask you something?"  
"Sure Tamaki, of course you can." She handed the ultrasound pictures back to him so she wouldn't be distracted.  
"Am I a horrible person for not being excited as I should be?" Ripping the bottom one off from the others he passed it to her. He wanted her to keep at least one photo figuring he wouldn't see her that often.  
"What do you mean? This is what you wanted isn't it?"  
"It is. We have been trying for years for this chance but the timing is horrible and I feel that I should focus more on Kyouya than myself. He doesn't want me too but I can't help it. Maybe if there had been a gap between the two events I wouldn't feel the way I do but there wasn't and so I don't know."  
"Well when did all this come about?"  
"He was diagnosed the same day I found out I was pregnant. I didn't tell him though until a week later so he could focus on himself. I had planned on waiting longer but that idea back fired."  
"Your idea to wait to say anything is probably the main reason you feel the way you do now. I think you should allow yourself to be excited. It may help Kyouya recover faster, they say that positive out looks and up beat attitudes from surrounding family does well for the patient."  
"I know your right and I'll try. I deserve them both that much."  
They stopped talking as the doorbell rang, seemed dinner was here.  
"I'll get the door if you could wake Kyouya."  
"If you insist Tamaki."  
Both Kyouya and himself decided to have her never pay for meals while they were here. They weren't sure how well off she was and they didn't want to risk her not having enough for medication by paying for their meals.  
"Kyouya sweetie dinner's here. Are you hungry dear?"  
Tamaki turned his head while he paid to see Kyouya waking up easier than normal. This was definitely a first. As they walked into the kitchen Kyouya took a bag from him.  
"What, did you smell the food?"  
"Ha ha, no, I haven't been called sweetie since I was five. It took me off guard." He also wasn't going to mention that hearing Annie-Sophia scared him, he forgot where he was and it had been years since a female woke him up. Telling Tamaki that would be cause for him to start picking on him and Annie-Sophia was here, he didn't want to ignore her.

Later that night Kyouya sat with Annie-Sophia in the living room while Tamaki was upstairs changing for the night. It was nice just sitting her enjoying the calm atmosphere.  
"Kyouya how are you? I understand completely how medication can exhaust you but how have you been? How is your treatment going?"  
"I've been doing well. I've felt pretty good most days which has helped. Tamaki is usually working when I need to sleep for a few hours so I forgot that it might come up here. I underwent a transplant back in December that went well and the medication is to help things stay well. I'm hoping that Tamaki will start to believe me when I tell him soon. I'm not a hundred percent but I'm neither dead nor dying."  
"I know he means well. You're very important to him and these are exciting times for the both of you. He just wants to make sure you're around for everything."  
"I know he does but seeing him so worried about everything that happens with me bothers me. I'll be fine soon enough he just has to believe me."  
"Do you believe that Kyouya? Or are you just telling everyone that so that you could believe it?"  
Kyouya was stumbled by her words. She wasn't the first person to ask that but for some reason he couldn't tell her what he told everyone else.  
"It's okay Kyouya if you're scared and unsure about everything. I believe you doing the right thing by staying so positive, it can only help you."  
"Ma'am there is something I want to tell you. Please promise me to say a word to Tamaki before I do."

Tamaki walked downstairs to become puzzled by what was going on. He stood in the doorway not making a sound as he watched Kyouya leaning into his mother and it sounded like he was crying. What was going on? Backing up he sat on the steps and cried in his hands. The only reason Kyouya would be acting the way he was would be if he was lying. How could he do that to him, how could he lie? If he was lying than how bad was it really?  
"I can't lose him." Scared to be heard by the two of them he stood and went back upstairs. Kyouya pulled away partially surprised and ashamed of his behavior.  
"Are you feeling better Kyouya?"  
"Yes, though I'm not sure what came over me. But I owe you my thanks."  
"Tamaki knows nothing of your fears?"  
"He has enough he is worrying about. My fears are just formed from my mind. I promised him I would take care of him, always. I shall do just that for as long as I am in this world. Whether that be years or days I will do what I promised and I will not worry him with such silly fears."  
"I understand your promise to my son but you both need each other and you can do that by talking to each other. Fears don't have to stay fears forever." Standing she smiled and kissed his forehead, being near her always made him feel so young.  
"I wonder if Tamaki fell asleep since he hasn't come back down. Please tell him I said good-night my dear. Sleep well."  
"Good night ma'am and I will, and thank you."  
"Call me mom if you're comfortable enough with that, you are family after all."  
Kyouya sat where he was for a few minutes before collecting his thoughts and going to see if Tamaki was still up. He felt better now that he talked to Annie-Sophia about how he was feeling. Perhaps now when he got back to Japan he could tell Tamaki and they could both be happy, the way they wanted to be.


	12. Never Tell A Lie

Chapter 12

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!

Kyouya wasn't completely surprised to see Tamaki asleep when he went upstairs. Trying not to wake him he did his best in the dark to change and get into bed. He never realized Tamaki was forcing himself to keep his eyes shut and not say anything about what he saw downstairs. He still wanted to cry over the fact that he wasn't getting better. How could he do that? He never lied before so why start now? Rolling away from Kyouya he tried to get his mind to settle so he could fall asleep for the night.

Tamaki was up first and waited for Kyouya to get up so he could confront him for the truth. Vacation or not he wouldn't allow people to lie to him. During breakfast he wanted to ask his mother what had happened last night but deep down he needed Kyouya to tell him. His mother told him the address of his old tutor instead. Apparently he didn't live too far and would love to see him again since he was in the country. He would have to go see him; he really liked his tutor when he was growing up. By the time Kyouya got downstairs Annie-Sophia stepped out for a few minutes to water her garden in the back. Kyouya was left dumbfounded as Tamaki got up and left the kitchen. He couldn't have pissed Tamaki off he just woke up. Grabbing a danish off the plate he went to follow him, see if he was alright.  
"How could you?"  
"Excuse me?" Where did that come from, did he hit him in his sleep or something?  
"How could you lie to me?"  
"What are you talking about?"  
"Oh don't play dumb you know exactly what I am talking about!"  
"Sure I do that's why I'm standing here lost. I just woke up I couldn't have lied to you, hell I haven't even spoken to you since yesterday! Are you mood swinging or something?"  
"Don't you dare go there! What you can tell my mother but you can't tell me? That's just great, makes me feel fantastic!"  
Now Kyouya figured out what Tamaki was yelling about, he must have overheard some part of their conversation last night. But he never said anything to her that would be lying to Tamaki, unless.  
"Tamaki, it's not what."  
"Just stop. I don't want to hear anymore lies from you right now. I'm going to visit someone, I'll see you later." With that Tamaki turned and left the house.  
"Tamaki wait!" He stopped as the front door closed in his face. Before he could open it and run after him he heard Annie-Sophia behind him.  
"Is everything alright Kyouya?"  
"I think Tamaki overheard something last night, what exactly I'm not sure but he kept saying I lied to him so that must mean he got the wrong impression. Your son is stubborn and doesn't like to listen to reason when he gets an idea in his head."  
"That sounds like Tamaki. Well he went to visit an old tutor of his. I can give you the address if you'd like."

Tamaki walked with his head down, hands in his pockets fighting back tears as he walked the park. He didn't want to see anyone without Kyouya. Especially not his old tutor, they would both probably get along well with each other and he wanted him to see that he had a family like the one they used to talk about when he was still a child. Sitting on one of the benches he ignored the fact that he was chilly and stared at the ground lost in his thoughts. He was heartbroken over the fact that Kyouya would lie to him but he had no problem spilling his soul to his mother. Why couldn't he speak the truth like he always had before? They were a team, had been for years and now wasn't the time for secrets.  
"Is this seat taken?"  
Looking up he saw Kyouya standing in front of him. So he did follow him when he left the house.  
"No go ahead."  
"So where is your tutor I was hoping to meet him and see how he put up with you for so many years?"  
Tamaki couldn't help but smile even though he knew Kyouya was making fun of him.  
"I haven't seen him yet obviously. I didn't tell him to meet me here, that would be rude."  
"So then we can talk is that what you're saying? Tamaki, I think you misunderstood something last night. I have never lied to you. I have no intention of lying to you. You know I see no point in it."  
"Then what did you tell my mother, what made you so upset?"  
So that was it, that was what got to Tamaki and made him believe he had been lied to.  
"We were talking and she asked me if I was denying the truth to get me to believe that nothing was wrong."  
"And are you?"  
"I don't think so. I know I'm sick but I know I'm not dying and each day I get a little healthier. I still believe I will be over this soon."  
"…I love you Kyouya."  
"I love you too."  
Tamaki rested his head on Kyouya's shoulder while they sat together. Tamaki felt relieved that everything was okay, well okay as things could be.  
"Never lie to me."  
"You'll always be the first to know."

Once they started to feel the cold Tamaki took Kyouya's hand to lead them out of the park and down the road. Since they were out they could do what Tamaki said he was going to do before.  
"I hope he is home, I should have called."  
Kyouya let Tamaki mumble to himself while he took the scenery in. Not that Annie-Sophia lived in a rundown part of the city but there was definitely more trees here. It probably had something to do with him being closer to the park than she was.  
"Well a car is parked here so that's a good sign."  
They only waited a few moments before the person they were looking for came to the door. The look on their face made Tamaki smile, it seemed they still remembered him.  
"Tamaki is that really you? My you certainly grew tall. Please come in, your mother had been telling me stories about how life has been going for you in Japan. This must be Kyouya. It's nice to meet you."  
They were properly introduced before they sat and talked. Hours went by much faster than they realized. Looking up at the time they saw it was close to four, they should start heading home, they didn't want to abandon Annie-Sophia by catching up with someone else.

Heading back Tamaki was in a much perkier mood then this morning. With what had upset him all straightened out and pushed behind him he could laugh again.  
"We should fly my mother out some time, so we don't just see her every ten years. And I bet she would get along with the gang."  
"We can do that."  
"Great! I can't wait to tell her."

The remaining time spent in France went without drama. The weather had gotten colder causing snow and for them to be trapped indoors for a few days. Those days had been filled with stories of Tamaki's childhood and what has been going on since she last saw Kyouya. It has been nice to catch up and just spend the time with each other. Tamaki was happy he agreed with Kyouya to stay until the eleventh not the ninth; those extra two days helped this vacation get better. They didn't do anything special but it was nice to have an extra two days where what was going on in Japan could be pushed aside.

"What's this?" Kyouya stared at the box in Tamaki's hands.  
"I saw it in the square when we were out. It reminded me of what you used to have in High school." Shoving his hands forward he had Kyouya take the box.  
"What did you do? Did you throw out our plane tickets or something?" Opening the box he saw a gold chain, it was thick, and had some weight to it.  
"Nothing I just thought you would like it. Consider it a birthday gift."  
"Tamaki my birthday was over three months ago."  
"I know but if I need a reason to give it to you then that's my reason."  
Taking it out of the box he clasped the chain around his neck. It did look nice and he had liked the one he had in High school. The only thing he wasn't crazy about what that fact that Tamaki brought up his birthday. His last one was one he would rather forget. That day was the day he found out he had cancer, making it one of the worst but then learning that Tamaki was pregnant had made it a little brighter. If only he had learned that on the actual day, but there was no point dwelling on it. That was the past and would never come back so it was pointless.

"After this week I'm not going to want to go back to work." Seeing Kyouya like his gift made him happy, he liked seeing him smile, a real smile. Not a "I'm doing it only to please you," smile.  
"What time is it?"  
"Just after two I think why?"  
"Come relax with me before we help your mother with dinner." Taking Tamaki's hand he pulled him on the bed beside him.  
"I don't want to seem rude to her."  
"Just a few minutes." Moving his hand up Tamaki's arm to his waist he wrapped it around him to pull him closer.  
"Well, okay than." Adjusting himself to get a little more comfortable he rested his head on Kyouya's chest. This was so peaceful; both were so at ease with life, more so than they had been in months.

Kyouya woke up to see Tamaki asleep soundly on his chest. Looking over he saw he slept for his normal forty-five minutes. Plus side to his daily naps, he never slept too long, now that he thought about it. Sometimes he could but usually that was caused by a treatment. Luckily for him today wasn't one of those times. He was happy to see Tamaki looking so relaxed while he slept. It comforted him to see him at a certain peace, he also reminded him of a puppy when they slept, mumbling and dreaming. It was a shame that now wasn't one of those times. Tamaki shifted to wrap his hand around Kyouya's waist; his head nestled closer on his chest. He should wake him up but maybe he would let him sleep, they were in no rush to get up. Tamaki started mumbling before he grumbled and opened his eyes.  
"Did I fall asleep? I'm sorry was I uncomfortable? Did I sleep long, I hope not."  
"Yes you did, no you weren't, and about an hour."  
"Why didn't you wake me up sooner?"  
"Its fine I'm sure. Now I don't know about you but I'm hungry and what your mother described as dinner sounded great."  
Getting up off Kyouya, Tamaki stretched and yawned to wake up.  
"We'll have to bring it home with us if you like it."  
If they could do that than they would bring home a lot for their chief to try.

Saturday afternoon the three of them waited for their flight to be called.  
"Your father is flying me out this summer, I should be there in Mid-June but if not I'll be there in August to meet my granddaughter. You both take care of yourselves and let me know if I can help in some way. I don't care what it is."  
"Take care of yourself mother and don't push yourself. We'll see you in June then." Saying one last good-bye they boarded the plane and headed back to their lives.  
"If she is coming than I take it your grandmother forgave her?"  
"I guess so; my father never said anything but he has been telling me to see her for years."  
If that was the case then that would be great for Tamaki, he could tell he had been thinking about her since he left all those years ago and with so much going on it had only increased.  
"I hope everything works out, I don't want to see her get hurt anymore but my father's family."  
"Well if anything happens she can stay with us."  
"Really? You would do that for her?"  
"Why wouldn't I be okay with that? She isn't some mass murderer or drug dealer. I'm sure the house is big enough as well. But before we plan to move her in we should see what happens."

Tamaki couldn't help but laugh a little at Kyouya and his attempts at not dozing off every few minutes. If he was tired than why not just fall asleep? They had a long flight ahead of them still so there was no point fighting sleep.  
"What's with that look?"  
"Nothing, I promise I'll wake you if the attendant doesn't.'  
"Oh ha-ha. I really hate you, you know that right?"  
"I know, sweet dreams." They may have been joking around but soon after he noticed Kyouya asleep with his head resting in the corner of the seat. Putting his head phones on he looked away from him and watched the movie the flight was showing.

Once back home things went back to a sense of normalcy, Tamaki was surprised to learn that Kyouya could start going back to work again. It seemed too soon but what did he know. He seemed to be doing alright and was full of energy when he got home so he wasn't completely worried. They had been home for a few weeks and both were at work. Tamaki was having one of those days, one that wasn't bad but wasn't that wasn't great. It didn't become great and him truly impatient to see Kyouya until he had an hour left. Sitting and waiting for Kyouya to get home took forever, if he found out his car got stuck in traffic he was going to scream. Hearing the front door open he got off the couch to greet Kyouya, he was on time but he seemed to take forever to get home.  
"Hello Kyouya, welcome home!"  
Kyouya hung his coat up and looked at Tamaki. He was going to tell him something important but seeing the happy, excited look on Tamaki's face stopped him. Something told him to wait and see what made him so happy. He didn't want a repeat of what happened in November.  
"You're in a great mood today, did something happen at work?"  
"Well not really but I want to show you something. If you had a good day or a bad one I'm about to make it great." Somehow he doubted Tamaki could do that but he would let him try.

"Kyouya? Is something the matter?" Tamaki couldn't understand the expression on Kyouya's face. He wanted to make him happy not make him upset so why did he seem ready to cry?  
"No, it's nothing. I guess I'm just overwhelmed. It's been a long day for me. I'm going upstairs to relax a little if dinner isn't ready yet." Getting up he walked out of the room and up the stairs. Tamaki just followed him with his eyes.  
"Kyouya?" Something had happened today but what exactly? If he was upset then he wanted to know about it, he shouldn't lock it away. If he was happy then they should be happy together, not in opposite sides of the house. Getting up he went to follow him to their room.

Kyouya let the water run from the shower, the room filled with steam yet he didn't move. He leaned against the wall trying to wrap his head around everything. He was happy, Tamaki made him happy by giving him the chance to feel his daughter but it only scared him.  
"I can't tell him, not today. I stole his happiness once; I refuse to take it from him again." His hand slid under his glasses pushing them off his face as he covered his eyes. He couldn't help stop the tears that started to fall.  
_*What am I going to do? Can I hide it from him? I have to, he can't worry about me.*_  
Tamaki walked into the room to see it empty. He wasn't all that surprised to hear the shower on in the bathroom. What surprised him was the fact that the door was locked, they never locked it, they found no point in doing so.  
"What is going on with him?" Sitting on the bed he waited, that was all he could do for now.

Kyouya walked out of the bathroom to see Tamaki waiting for him.  
"What's up Tamaki? Need something?"  
"I was worried about you, you seemed out of it and I wanted to make sure you were okay."  
"Sorry about that, I had work on my mind, I showed up the same time a car pileup did and it swamped me. But what you showed me did make this day great, thank you." Leaning over he kissed Tamaki hoping to erase any fears he still had, to instill some confidence with his words. It seemed to work as Tamaki kissed him back.  
_*He'll never know until there is no other choice. That is my promise him.*_

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0  
I hope to update sooner since it's summer time and I don't go back to school until October. Please review, and I know that this story has issues for some reason, if you don't like it than don't read it. That is the only answer I can give you. Please review.  
~Femalefighter~


	13. Secrets Exposed

Chapter 13

**Disclaimer- **I own nothing!

Kyouya sat in the doctor's office waiting for Akito to come back. He didn't want to hear the news, he had heard enough and none of it was good. Still, he was proud of himself for being able not to tell Tamaki what was going on. As far as he knew Tamaki was still in the dark, still believing that his cancer didn't come back. It had been seeing him so happy and calm that helped him stay positive when Akito told him a few weeks back. They had just celebrated Tamaki's birthday last Saturday and they had a great time hanging with the old gang and each other. That never would have happened if he knew the truth. Tamaki was happy again, he didn't, no he couldn't take that happiness from him. As he sat there and waited for Akito he realized something, something he never would have believed if someone told him. He needed to see Tamaki happy, if he ever stopped; if he ever lost hope in him then he would too. His strength was directly related to Tamaki's attitude and faith that this would or was going away. Maybe that's why he couldn't tell him what was going on.  
"Sorry for making you wait Kyouya. Alright let's talk."

Tamaki looked over the paperwork he had to finish up before he left work. This might be one of the rare times Kyouya actually beat him home. It was nice knowing he was back to work fully again, it meant they were past the horrors of before. Kyouya was alright, he was healthy again, they could get back to life and enjoy what was coming. They still had to finish preparing for their daughter. Things were finally looking up for them; Kyouya was always in a good mood, even when he came home exhausted they joked around or just watched TV together. It was nice to have the type of atmosphere around them that they had for years since their marriage.  
"Tamaki do you have those papers for me yet?"  
Seeing Yuzuru walk into his office he just smiled.  
"Um, not yet. I'm almost done."  
"I need them Tamaki, before I can leave tonight."  
"Give me five minutes."  
Yuzuru sat across from him waiting for him to finish.

It wasn't hard for Tamaki to figure out that something was wrong. He knew Kyouya too well to know even when the smallest thing was different with him.  
"Are you feeling okay?"  
Kyouya looked across the table from Tamaki to see that he had stopped eating and was watching him.  
"Why do you ask?"  
"You've either been touching your forehead or holding it since we sat down and you've barely eaten dinner."  
"I just have a headache, possibly a migraine and from it I have no appetite."  
"Why didn't you say something earlier? Can you take something?"  
"Not really. I'm just going to go upstairs and lie down I think. Sorry but our plans for later will have to be postponed."  
"Don't apologize, if you're not feeling well you're not feeling well. We can do it tomorrow."  
"Thanks Tamaki." He felt bad for having to change their plans like this all of a sudden, Tamaki had been really hoping that they could lay out the nursery and start getting some of the boxes still holding the crib and dresser out of there. The room had been painted a while ago now they just had to do the rest. The staff was more than willing to help put everything together and put everything exactly where they wanted, they just had to know where.

Tamaki walked upstairs to see how Kyouya was feeling. It was rare that he got a migraine but he knew he got them and they were bad when he did.  
"Kyouya? Are you asleep? I'm turning the light on okay?" Diming the light enough where he could still see but not affect Kyouya as much he walked over to the bed to see if he was asleep. Getting to the bed he saw he had wrapped their comforter tightly around him almost as if he was cold. Looking better he saw he was shaking a little but feeling his forehead he felt clammy, as if he had a fever.  
"Is he getting sick?" It was almost the end of April but the weather had been back and forth so it wasn't impossible. Going to the bathroom he grabbed a towel to wipe his forehead with while trying not to wake him. He was torn between leaving him alone for the night and staying. If Kyouya was sick with something like the flu then he really should sleep in one of the guest rooms. Getting sick right now would not be good, but he did want to keep an eye on him in case he needed something. While he changed for bed he debated what to do, finally reaching the conclusion of leaving him alone but leaving a note on his night stand letting him know what he did.

"There is no way you're going to work in your condition." Kyouya sat on the bed still wrapped in the comforter and allowed Tamaki to stick a thermometer in his mouth. He felt shitty but he knew it wasn't the flu as Tamaki claimed nor should he be worrying about getting sick himself. He was just facing side effects from the immunotherapy he started a little over a week ago.  
"I wasn't planning on it." He was finally able to speak once Tamaki took the thermometer out of his mouth.  
"And you have a really high fever. Please let me take you to the hospital."  
"I'll be fine, go to work. I'll see if Akito can stop by on his way to work or something."  
"I,"  
"Tamaki, I'm really not up to arguing with you about this. I'll be fine, just go. I'll sleep better knowing you're not hovering over me." Fixing the blanket he laid back down on his pillow.  
"Alright fine. But call some doctor, I really don't like your fever."  
"Mmmhmm."

"I know it seems hard right now since you're not feeling well but continuing it is best." Akito stood next to Kyouya's bed with the at home version of the Interferon Alpha he was taking. Kyouya knew he was right but the thought of receiving a treatment while he felt the way he did helped nothing.  
"Just don't tell Tamaki about this."  
"Kyouya, you must tell him. He needs to know, you live with him, you're married to him. He has the right to know what is going on with you."  
"Tamaki will know at the right time."  
"Is he doing alright?"  
"Just fine, him and the baby are doing great."  
"Telling him won't hurt him."  
_*No, but it will hurt me.*_  
"Kyouya, do as you please but as your doctor I'm giving you my best advice. I'm done so I'll let you rest. The side effects should wear off in a few days. If they become worse let me know."  
Left alone Kyouya tried his best to fall asleep, he needed to tell Tamaki he knew that but he just couldn't. His reasons were selfish ones that was obvious but he was scared. He didn't want to die, he didn't want to lose hope that he wouldn't recover this time. Tamaki was his hope, their coming daughter was his hope, he couldn't lose that by watching Tamaki cry over him anymore.

Being home from work made Tamaki happy, also knowing it was Friday and he could take care of Kyouya helped with that too.  
"What did Akito say?"  
"I should be better in a few days." Sitting up he took the bowl of soup Tamaki brought up for him.  
"The chief was going to bring it but I was coming anyway to check on you."  
From the treatment he wasn't that hungry but he ate it to please Tamaki. He missed having an appetite at times from it.  
"Sleep here tonight, you don't have to go to the guest bed."  
"If you're sure, I want to make sure you sleep."  
"You're too much."  
Maybe it was just the fact that he wasn't feeling well but he slept better feeling Tamaki beside him and not the empty bed again.

In less than a week he was starting to feel better. He was mad that he had to miss Tamaki's doctor appointment but it couldn't be helped. Seeing the excitement in his eyes when he got back home helped remove the sadness.

Kyouya's secret stayed a secret for months. It took a lot to make Tamaki believe he was at work all day and not attending treatments of any kind some days but he did it. He could sneak home once Tamaki left for work if he wanted but the housekeepers weren't known for keeping their mouths shut, not saying he loved them any less, it was just an inconvenience at this particular time. Plus, Tamaki had mood swings before he got pregnant, dealing with a Tamaki at thirty-three weeks would be a lot worse. When he was feeling well and trying to pass time at "work" he drew. He wanted to make something for his daughter, something she could always have to show that he loved her if he wasn't able to tell her that himself. Once they picked a name he would incorporate that somehow. Working on it he heard his phone timer go off telling him it was five and he should get his things together to head home. Looking at it he saw he didn't have much done today. He hadn't felt like doing much after his treatment, even after he slept for awhile. Oh well there was always tomorrow.

Tamaki sat in the kitchen waiting for dinner to finish while Kyouya was upstairs changing from work. Remembering the mail was still on the counter he moved over to reach it and sort through it. "Bill, bill, bill, garbage, Akito, garbage, bill." Stopping he went back to the thing from Akito's office. It shouldn't be a bill their insurance had covered all of Kyouya's treatments when he was having them. In fact he remembered getting something a few months back showing what they had paid for. The thing was addressed to Kyouya but they didn't have a rule about not reading each other's mail, their credit card bills was the only thing they never opened but that was about it. Looking over the pages inside the envelope he saw that it was just a statement of what the insurance paid for and a breakdown of treatment must have been a accidental resend. Something caught his eye that made him do a double take, the dates, the things listed here weren't from November to March, these were recent. The first ones were dated back in April. Allowing the paper to fall from his now shaking fingers he covered his mouth trying not to completely lose it.  
_*How could he, how could he not tell me? How could I not see this sooner?*_

Kyouya sat on the bed while he got dressed after showering. It seemed stupid to shower after work when he wasn't dirty but he had to follow what he always used to do so Tamaki wouldn't suspect something. He was hungry; hopefully dinner was just about done. Looking over at the door he heard Tamaki come in.  
"What's up Tamaki, is dinner ready?"  
"Shut up!"  
Looking closer he saw something clenched in one of Tamaki's fist fists.  
"What's wr?"  
"Just shut up! How could you! How could you not tell me? When were you going to tell me that your cancer came back?"  
"Tamaki, I,"  
"'I'll never lie to you. You'll always be the first to know,' What happened to that? What happened to us being a team?"  
"Tamaki, I. I didn't want to worry you."  
"So you decided to lie to me? You thought lying to my face about this would make me okay with everything? You thought making me believe that everything was alright was better than just telling me the truth!"  
"Tamaki I'm."  
"I feel like such an idiot for not seeing the truth sooner, God I am so stupid. Why, why would you do this?"  
"Will you stop and listen to me for a second! I didn't like hiding it from you but I couldn't tell you. I needed you to believe that everything was alright, it's kept me going. I couldn't watch your happiness be taken away from me anymore, I couldn't watch you cry!"  
"You jackass!" Tamaki brought his hand back wanting to slap Kyouya for being so stupid. Right before he connected he stopped and touched his cheek gently. Placing his head on Kyouya's shoulder he started to cry before he sat next to him.

Lifting his head back up he wiped his eyes.  
"Tell me, please no more lying, how bad is it?"  
Taking Tamaki's chin Kyouya forced himself to look into his eyes, into the eyes he eyes he never wanted to see upset.  
"It's back at a stage two as of June twelfth. Akito says it more aggressive this time."  
"Oh God. Do they think it's?"  
He couldn't let Tamaki finish his thought; he didn't want to hear that word. "No, but surgery seems pointless since they can't guarantee a match again."  
Moving closer he put his head on Kyouya's chest, he could hear his heart beating strong; it was hard to believe the owner of this heart was sick. He was scared to ask but he wanted to know if without surgery meant he could do nothing but slow it down until it claimed him. Not now, he couldn't ask that right now.  
"Why lie to me?"  
"Because I, I need to see you smile and not lose hope on me."  
Moving away to look into Kyouya's eyes he allowed Kyouya to see the truth and love still held in his eyes.  
"I will never give up on you. I will never lose hope on you. I know you too well; you're too strong to let this get the best of you."  
This was why he loved Tamaki as much as he did; he was different among the rest. Taking Kyouya's hand they laid on the bed for a little while, neither wanted to move away from the other.

"Hey Kyouya?"  
"Yes Tamaki, is something wrong?"  
"Amber."  
"Amber? Oh, Amber. Perfect."  
Turning his head to look at Tamaki he could see some of the sadness leave his eyes. Seeing that made him smile, he could still do this, he would do this. Both managed to smile as their lips met. The future was scary and uncertain but they were ready for it. Neither were going anywhere. When they looked into each other's eyes again they both smiled and said.  
"I love you."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

I have been dying to do this chapter or awhile now so I hope you all enjoyed it. Now to answer some FAQs.  
1. Tamaki is in fact a male.  
2. I never really created a reason as to how he was able to get pregnant. I was just on the subway when I got this story idea and went with it. Since it wasn't my first mpreg and also not the first where I don't explain how he got pregnant I didn't think it would be a problem not to explain it.

Any questions I will be happy to answer so don't be afraid to ask. Please review.  
~Femalefighter~


	14. JulyAugust

Chapter 14

**Disclaimer- **I own nothing!

Tamaki woke up in the middle of the night groaning. It seemed to be a daily occurrence nowadays; he would sleep like shit during the night and fall asleep around noon when he took his lunch hour. He fell asleep a lot during his lunch break causing him to be made fun of by his father. Whatever, only another week and he would get to stay home with Kyouya, though he wasn't even home much with his treatments going on. But at least he would be able to go with him now. Knowing sleep was far off he just laid in bed. He was scared that the TV would wake Kyouya and it wasn't the attitude that scared him, it was knowing that he needed his rest. Hearing Kyouya start moaning and accidently hit his back he sat up to check on him. Moments like this scared him, truly frightened him. Knowing he was in pain and couldn't do anything to help him, the hopeless feeling he got was unbearable. Unable to handle it anymore he went to wake him only to watch as he bunched himself up and woke up.  
"Kyouya?"  
"Mmmm? Tamaki?" Sitting up he reached for the lamp and the bottle of pain pills he kept next to it.  
"Are you okay?" 

Throwing the pills back with the water he put the glass down, turned the lamp out and moved back to his side of the bed to sit better.  
"Did I wake you? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."  
"Is everything okay?" Finding his arm in the dark Kyouya moved closer to him so Tamaki could rest on him.  
"I didn't mean to scare you."  
He could always tell when Tamaki heard him in pain; he could feel how tense he was when they were together. "I'm okay Tamaki, please relax."  
"I'm scared Kyouya, I still have faith in you but I'm scared."  
"I know you are. Since we're up why don't we go downstairs and get something to drink."  
"Okay."

Sitting at the island he watched Kyouya make an herbal tea for them. Both hoped that they could go back to bed. It was still so hard for Tamaki to believe that this person, the one making tea, the same one that had been sleeping so peacefully had also woken up in pain because he was sick. He seemed so strong and healthy now, it had to be someone else.  
"Please tell me this smells alright. My pills knocked out my head senses I swear." Sliding a mug under Tamaki's nose he waited for his answer.  
"It smells fine, thank you." He could tell Kyouya was making a joke out of the fact that he couldn't taste or smell things, how did he keep his spirits up all the time? Was he really using his upbeat attitude to keep himself so strong? Well if that was the case then so be it. He would be in the best mood so Kyouya would be in the best mood. "Yea I can do it!"  
"What are you talking about Tamaki? It's much too early for me to understand you. Please stop being strange."  
Kyouya sat beside him and just shook his head.  
"Whoops my bad, sorry."  
"What were you talking about?"  
"Nothing just thinking out loud I guess."  
"You're hopeless."

Kyouya sat in Akito's office, he didn't have any treatment today but he had to undergo testing. Fear always racked through him when they took place. What if things had gotten worse? No matter how strong he stayed, how good he felt the fear never subsided.  
"Okay Kyouya I don't really have good news but I don't have bad news either."  
"So it hasn't become a stage three yet?"  
"No it hasn't. It seems to be growing slowly meaning something is working for you. But remember it won't cure you, just slow it down. We still need to find you another donor."  
"Tell me, will it even make a difference though? I've already had one transplant and that only lasted a few months before it came back. Will a second one really do anything?"  
"I can't answer that. I do not know how your body will handle it. The tests show the kidney is infected but the cancer cells could be in the area around it and that's why it came back so quickly."  
"Is there any way to find out? I know once given the chance Tamaki will try to do something for me especially knowing no one else has been found and I really don't want to ask Fuyumi. Besides isn't your theory not possible, wouldn't the cancer start at a stage three then?"  
"No, not necessarily."  
There was still so much he didn't know about, the research he was doing said all the same thing but his questions weren't answered. How did it come back?  
"We removed the kidney's and tissue around them but for all we know we didn't remove it all like we thought."  
"So this is your fault then?" He said it as a joke but he saw Akito's face and attitude become melancholic. He had been dwelling on this harder than he was letting on.  
"Yes, yes it is my fault and for that I'm sorry. As your doctor I failed you and as your older brother for I couldn't protect you."

Tamaki was really looking forward to Friday, his last day of work for awhile. Things were pretty crazy here; they weren't planning anything new so why did they have so much work? Maybe he was just behind from having his mind on Kyouya. He had an appointment today to see how things were going. He could tell he hated days like today, if only there was something he could do to make it better. There had to be something, anything to see him happy. Nearly knocking over the stack of paper work he had to do before he left he stopped thinking about Kyouya for now and got to work. At this rate he would never make it home.

It was close to seven when he made it home, he called ahead of time so Kyouya wouldn't worry but he was still mad at himself. He would never hear the end of it, not that Kyouya would be pissed he would just bust him about it. He wasn't surprised to not see him in the kitchen, but a place was still set for him. Checking the living room he saw the TV on, moving closer he saw him asleep across the couch. Lowering the volume he placed the blanket they kept on the couch over him and let him sleep. He didn't see him toss and turn shortly after, waking himself up from a nightmare. It was the same one he had most nights and woke up from when he wasn't in pain. He was dying, that's what he saw in his dreams, him getting sicker and sicker, weaker and weaker, never seeing his daughter grow up and the sadness that covered Tamaki's face. Those thoughts terrified him, more than the cancer actually spreading. He didn't want to die; he didn't want to leave Tamaki and soon their daughter. No, he couldn't think like that he still had a chance. The cancer was slow growing and he figured Tamaki would go through the surgery once he was able. Together they would get though this just as they always believed. Getting off the couch he searched for Tamaki. He figured he was home since he found a blanket on him, not that the maids wouldn't do it, it just seemed more Tamaki's thing since he was working late.

"Welcome home." Sitting next to Tamaki at the table he saw him jump as he looked through the mail while he ate.  
"It's all bills."  
"I see that. Well that and we got this flier for the summer fireworks."  
"Right, how could I forget that?"  
Seeing the smirk on his face he reached over to hit him with the card. "Smart ass. And you can no longer bust me for falling asleep. I saw you passed out on the couch."  
"I couldn't help it. I got tired of waiting for you. What got you so backed up anyway? You've never run so late before."  
"There was just a lot to do that's all and ha-ha." He wanted to ask how it went earlier at the doctors but they were joking around and laughing he didn't want to ruin that.  
"Nothing changed, not really anyway."  
"What?"  
"I know you want to ask. I can see it written all over your face. Everything showed that nothing's really changed."  
"That's really good to hear. I'm glad I asked."  
"Oh I'm the smartass huh?"  
The staff stood outside the kitchen and watched as they both started laughing. It was a beautiful sound, one that they missed. Before the house was always filled with it but lately it was rare if at all. The hoped it didn't go away again.

That night both lay in bed close to each other. It was the same as every night but it seemed the mood from earlier followed them. For the first time in a long time they slept peacefully for the entire night. Tamaki felt asleep quicker than most nights thanks to hearing Kyouya's steady breathing in his ear. Kyouya slept easily feeling Tamaki's warmth along with feeling his daughter kick every so often under his hand.

"It feels strange having you home, makes me feel like it's the weekend. I lose track of the days."  
"I'm sorry to confuse you. I'll just go lock myself in the office so you don't get messed up."  
"Oh don't get snippy I was just commenting." They sat together outside enjoying the summer air. The heat finally broke last night making it much cooler and leaving a beautiful scent from the rain.  
"Am I joining you tomorrow?"  
"Tomorrow? Oh for my stuff you mean? It's up to you. I'm just going to sit there and let them hook me up to the immunotherapy for close to four hours."  
"Can I sit with you? Is that allowed?"  
"I don't see why not."  
"I feel bad that I haven't gone with you sooner. I was the first time."  
"I'm not holding it against you. Remember I never told you right away and it isn't a big deal, I felt no need for you to miss work. You know your grandmother can't function when you're not there." Tamaki burst out laughing. Kyouya's sense of humor was increasing it seemed since he'd been home.  
"I don't know about that but my father sure loses his mind."  
"I find it funny how even your father can't handle your grandmother."  
"Now don't be mean, I'm sure someone likes her. She was married after all."  
"Yes but her husband died young so it wouldn't surprise me if she was the cause of it."  
"You're horrible you know that."  
Even as he said that though he couldn't stop laughing from it. It wouldn't surprise him if there was some truth to it.

It was strange yet obviously nice to have Annie-Sophia at their dinner table. It was a relief for Tamaki to see her doing well since he last saw her. Both were willing and happy to put her up while she visited but Yuzuru had already made those arrangements it seemed. It helped though since Tamaki wanted to be with Kyouya tomorrow for his treatment but he didn't want to seem rude to his mother.  
"Tamaki, do you still play the piano?"  
"Yes."  
"Liar." The words came out of Kyouya's mouth so fast between bites Tamaki almost didn't catch them.  
"No I'm not, I haven't played much but I still do."  
"Liar."  
"Look it's not my fault you lock yourself up in the office all day to work on some secret project that you won't tell anyone about."  
"And I know it drives you nuts. You'll see it soon enough anyway. Now I think your mother wanted to ask you something."  
Tamaki looked over to see his mother trying not to laugh at the back and forth going on between them.  
"I just wanted to know if you'd mind playing for me after dinner."  
"Anything for you mother."  
"Momma's boy."  
"Bite me."  
Both said it under their breaths so no one else would hear it. Though, they burst out laughing which only confused Yuzuru and Annie-Sophia.  
"You're horrible Kyouya, absolutely horrible."

That night they all sat in the foyer and listened to Tamaki. The house rang with the beautiful music he created with the piano. It had been awhile since Kyouya heard him play and it still managed to bring tears to his eyes. Everyone sat in silence to listen allow the music to wrap around them.

Tamaki felt more than happy that he tagged along to Kyouya's appointment. Though, seeing him hooked up to wires and needle bothered him. The room was dreary looking as well and there wasn't anything Kyouya could do to help pass the time. He was surprised he hadn't lost his mind yet, had he been in his shoes he would have. They talked for most of it and it seemed like Kyouya was happy to have someone to talk to. At around one Akito came in to disconnect everything and check vitals to make sure he could go home.  
"Hello Tamaki. You look good."  
He just huffed at the statement.  
"Forgive him, he forgot how to take a compliment."  
"I can tell he is just being nice Kyouya. There is no way I look good Akito. Sorry but I think your eyes are playing tricks."  
"If you say so Tamaki though I am still sticking with my statement. How have you been feeling? Only what, three, four weeks left?"  
"Four sadly."  
"That's not so bad. It will go by fast I'm sure."  
"Probably and it isn't so bad I guess."  
They talked for a few minutes before they left to head home. Tamaki could tell Kyouya was exhausted and wanted to be home to sleep for awhile. Even if he insisted he was fine and up to heading to Yuzuru's to spend the day. His mother was staying until the end of August, they could all get together again at another time. There was no rush to do it now and force Kyouya to push himself.

The weeks seemed to fly by with doctor appointments and being with their families. Before they realized it July was just about over.  
"I don't know about you but I think I'm going to call it a night." Lifting his head off Kyouya's shoulder Tamaki sat up to get off the couch. He could feel himself dozing off and not that that was horrible, he just didn't feel like sleeping on the couch. Kyouya would wake him if he asked him too most likely but if he happened to see him out cold he would leave him. A full nights sleep was rare so if he managed to get comfortable and sleep he would let him.  
"I'll be up in a bit. It's too early for me to turn in." Looking at the clock he saw it was only a little after eight. If he went to bed now he would be up earlier than normal. He enjoyed sleeping, he didn't want to lose any.  
"That's fine; I'll see you in the morning then."  
Kissing him goodnight he left Kyouya alone.

At nine thirty Kyouya turned the TV off, took his pills, and headed upstairs. He was surprised to see Tamaki still up.  
"I thought you had gone to bed."  
"That had been the plan."  
"What happened, are you alright?"  
"Never better."  
Climbing into bed he sat beside him, something was obviously wrong, so why hide it?  
"I'm not going to fight with you to tell me."  
"I'm not either. I feel fine, now. Before you go to bed I want to ask you something. What would you say if I told you I'm pretty sure I was going into labor."  
"…Seriously? Do you want me to get a car for you?"  
"No. I want to lay here and try to sleep for a little bit."  
Kyouya wasn't sure if he was joking or not until he turned off the light and laid down.  
"Are you sure about this?"  
"I am, I want to try and sleep while I can and I can't do that at the hospital. Besides I get the feeling this will go on for awhile. I've only felt it twice in the last hour and it wasn't that bad."  
"Well alright. Wake me up if you change your mind."  
"I will."  
Feeling Kyouya wrap his arms around him they both tried to fall asleep. With the knowing of what could be coming later they laid awake for awhile. Soon after Kyouya fell asleep Tamaki listened to his steady, peaceful breath and was able to shut his own eyes. 

Tamaki's eyes shot open as pain seared through him. Guess it was time to wake up officially. Waiting for it to end he sat up to see it was six thirty. Well at least he slept most of the night. He woke up a couple of times during the night but he was able to fall back asleep with little struggle. The real problem now was Kyouya. Getting him up wasn't going to be easy. Well it would help that it wasn't the middle of the night. He did hate waking him though knowing that his pills tired him out and could lower his blood pressure among other things if he wasn't careful.  
"Kyouya, I hate to wake you but you being up would be helpful."  
A few shakes and his eyes parted slightly and his head turned towards him.  
"mmmmmm?"  
"Can you get up? I know it's early but I would appreciate it if you could."  
Waking up a little more he sat up and grabbed his glasses.  
"What do you need me to do? It's unlike you to be up this early and drag me up too."  
It took a minute for his brain to start to function but when it did he remembered what they talked about before he fell asleep.

Kyouya gently rubbed the back of Tamaki's hand while the other held his cheek. Groaning Tamaki turned his head into Kyouya's palm trying to exhale, hoping the pain would end.  
"There you go, just breathe it will be over soon."  
Grabbing the hand Kyouya was rubbing he laced their fingers. He was more than happy to see him besides him. So glad that he could be here for this, the day they waited for for so long. There was no way he would be able to do this if he wasn't next to him. He didn't want to do this without him beside him.  
"Will you be alright if I step out for a minute?"  
He wasn't feeling too hot, Kyouya figured it was from being up and not eating yet.  
"Is something wrong?"  
"I need to eat. I can bring your parents in so you're not alone if you'd like."  
"I'll be okay. I'm not going anywhere."  
Forcing a smile he tried to hide the fact that he was being hit with another contraction. He didn't want to stop him from taking care of himself.  
"Go, I'll be fine."  
"I'll have someone come in."  
Standing he tried to gather his senses, he felt weak, that was never a good thing.  
"Kyouya, are you okay? You don't look well."  
Tamaki couldn't get over how pale he was looking. Had he been like that all morning?

He needed to walk out of the room, that was the first and most important step in feeling better, to do so though he needed the room to stop spinning. He felt light headed, this could not be happening. Not today of all days.  
"Kyouya sit, I have my phone right here I'll have my father get you something. Please, don't push yourself."  
"No, I'm fine. I just stood up too fast." Taking a step away from the bed he stumbled.  
"Kyouya!" Tamaki's body froze and panicked as he watched him fall. "Oh my God, Kyouya!" Sitting up better he looked over to see he had collapsed. No, this could not be happening, he had to get up, he had to be fine. He gasped as the pain increased tenfold, everything before now felt like someone pinching him before now.  
"N…no, not now, please."  
Dr. Oshiro walked in with a nurse, perfect timing.  
"K…Kyouya…help him." Trying his hardest to get his words out he needed to make sure Kyouya got help, that he was okay."  
"What the, Kyouya?" The nurse grabbed him so he was sitting up. He was as white as a ghost, what happened?  
"He is…is sick, he n…needs medical attention."  
The pain was getting worse by the minute but he could manage, Kyouya had to come first. The nurse called for a bed to get him out of the room and his vitals checked. Tamaki could only watch as he was taken away. He had to be okay. This was all his fault, if anything happened to Kyouya he would never be able to forgive himself.  
_*Please be okay. I love you.*_  
"Ahhhhhh!" It was getting hard to breath from the pain, why did he seem to be getting worse much faster now. The doctor told him it would be hours and it hadn't been that long ago when she said it.  
"Tamaki you need to breathe and listen to me. You are stressing out so you are stressing the baby out. We don't have hours anymore, I need you to follow my directions so we can deliver the baby."  
"No!"  
"What?"  
"No, I can't, I won't do this without Kyouya here." He had to wait, with the pain or not he would wait for Kyouya.  
"You don't have to option to wait anymore."  
"No, not without Kyouya."  
"Tamaki your putting your child as risk!"  
"I don't care! I won't do this, he needs to be here." He didn't even know what was coming out of his mouth right now, he just wanted to get his point across and have the doctor understand Kyouya had made a promise to him and he wasn't about to let him break it.  
"Tamaki what is going on in here?" Yuzuru was in the doorway hoping to learn something. He had seen Kyouya being taking somewhere but wasn't able to get answers.  
"F…father, find Kyouya."  
"Tamaki you need to listen to me. We can't wait."  
"No you need to listen to me, I won't do it! Father I need to know that he is alright."  
"I'll find out but then you need to follow the doctor's orders."  
"Sir, we can't wait that long. Tamaki needs to deliver the baby now."  
"He isn't going to do it and the longer you hold me up the longer this is going to take."  
With that he ran off in the direction he came from to see if he could find the room Kyouya was in. Annie-Sophia walked into the room lost by what was going on. Trying to help Tamaki relax she was filled in.

Yuzuru walked in a few minutes later and could tell Tamaki was fighting hard to wait, and it couldn't continue.  
"So? Is he okay?"  
"He is stable but he is too weak right now, he needs to stay monitored."  
"No, this cannot be happening."  
"Tamaki you can't wait."  
"But,"  
"But nothing. Listen Kyouya would be upset with you if he learned what is going on. Now think about it, why not be there when he wakes up with your daughter."  
"Your father is right Tamaki, that would brighten anyone's mood and spirit."  
"O…okay. I'll do it then."  
"And we are right here for you, aren't we Yuzuru, you won't be alone."  
Dr. Oshiro was glad things were finally getting somewhere. She wasn't going to mention that only one other person was allowed in the room and waste more time. She was starting to become very worried for both Tamaki and the baby.

Tamaki knew things couldn't continue the way they had been but that didn't stop the tears. Kyouya should have been here, this is what they had been waiting for. Taking a deep breath he used his father's sleeve to wipe his eyes. Trying not to scream some strange noise left his throat before he saw through blurry eyes his daughter as she was passed to the nurse. He started to panic as he hadn't heard her cry yet, what if he messed up. What if his actions hurt her? He prayed his pounding heart he heard in his ears was the reason he couldn't hear her. Moments later he heard her cry and it was beautiful.  
_*Oh Kyouya.*_  
"Oh Tamaki is sounds like someone wants to finally meet you."  
Looking past his father he saw the nurse bringing her to him. Having her placed in his arms he felt his heart explode with love and joy. He knew Kyouya's would too when he got to meet her later.  
"Hello princess, you are even better than perfect."  
"Did you two pick a name for her yet?" Annie-Sophia leaned over to get a better look at her granddaughter.  
"We did, Emma Rose." He couldn't take his eyes off her, Emma, his daughter, she held Kyouya's black hair it looked like.  
"Can I see your eyes; do you hold daddy's too?" She squirmed and nestled closer to his chest.  
"Guess not. We'll wait until daddy sees you then. He'll be happy to meet you."  
Looking up at Yuzuru he asked for his help. Passing Emma to his mother he tried to set his plan into motion.

Kyouya's eyes fluttered open as a bright light stared down at him. What was that? What happened, the last thing he remembered was being with Tamaki.  
"Tamaki!" Bolting up he grabbed his head as it started spinning.  
"Yes?"  
Looking over he saw Tamaki sitting next to the bed.  
"Are you feeling okay? You really scared me before."  
"I am, sorry, that was the last thing I wanted to do."  
"I have someone that wants to see you finally."  
Sliding closer in the chair he realized there was no way he felt safe standing alone. Calling for his father, who was just outside the door he had him stand beside him to help.  
"Tamaki you should be in bed." Kyouya stopped as he realized he had been holding their daughter this entire time. She was sleeping in his arms. Tamaki managed to stand and place her in his arms before sitting beside him in the bed. Placing a hand under Kyouya's to help support him he could tell he was nervous. Together they sat with each other simply watching her sleep.  
"Well hello there." Kyouya couldn't help but smile as she squirmed in his arms and woke up.  
"I think she looks like her father, what do you think?"  
Seeing her dark eyes staring up at him and noticed dark hair under the pink hat the hospital put on her he realized Tamaki was right.  
"Look at that your right, though she has your nose, mouth, and facial bone structure."  
Why was he not surprised Kyouya would notice that?  
"Hello boys may we come in?" Looking at the door they saw Annie-Sophia and Fuyumi. It seemed the family heard the news. Both their families stood around them talking and joking around. Soon Kyouya noticed Tamaki fell asleep on his shoulder. He had probably been up all this time so they could be together they way they had originally planned. He was truly something else, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

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Already started working on the next chapter. Please review. And I want everyone to know that I love everyone that is enjoying this story. I was getting flames for it and thought no one liked it but I am glad someone is.  
~Femalefighter~


	15. Second time around

Chapter 15

**Disclaimer- **I own nothing!

"Ssshh it's okay." Tamaki sat in the nursery trying to get Emma to fall back asleep. He knew he would have sleepless nights once she was born and he was fine with that, but, not waking Kyouya so they could alternate was starting to get to him. Knowing what could happen if he wasn't careful he wasn't going to push it. He could manage on his own at night so long as Kyouya continued to help during the day.  
"Why are you still crying, huh? Don't you want to go to bed, sleep is a good thing."  
"Here let me try." Walking in the room Kyouya took Emma from him to try and settle her down. Within minutes she was getting quieter and quieter. Tamaki stood up to let him sit worried about how strong he was right now.  
"I guess someone wanted her dad to put her to bed. Right? Tell mom, he can't pull one off on dad, he catches on quickly."  
"What, did I leave the monitor in the room?" Usually he took it out so it wouldn't wake Kyouya but he did wake up half asleep before so it was possible.  
"No, I heard her start crying in my dreams, rolled over and you were gone. Have you done this every night? I find it hard to believe she sleeps through the night."  
"I only did it for you."  
"Tamaki I'm fine. How many times do I have to tell you that? Emma, tell him I'm fine, he may listen to you."  
Tamaki looked over to see she fell asleep in his arms; he made it look so easy. He had been trying for a good hour already.  
"Someone is such a daddy's girl."  
"Of course she is, why wouldn't she be? I don't know about you but it can stay that way forever." Making sure she wasn't about to wake up again he watched her as he put her back in her crib."  
"Come on let's get you back to bed too and discuss future arrangements for at night."  
"I just wanted to let you sleep that's all."  
"Well I'm telling you that is changing. One day you'll believe me that what happened last month won't happen again. It was simply on error on my part and nothing else."  
"Okay fine, whatever, but listen our deal was for nothing to happen until she was born but I won't let you go now because I don't want her to grow up without her father. Understand?"  
"I promise she won't. I don't want you to be alone raising our daughter either."  
Taking an arm around Tamaki's shoulders he kept him close while they walked into their room. Lying beside him in bed he kissed his neck until he relaxed and have him believing that no matter what he would always be here. Tamaki stayed awake a while longer just listening to Kyouya steady breathing. They were a family that wouldn't, no, it couldn't change. Families stayed together and go through it all together and theirs' was no different. Rolling over he noticed Kyouya asleep and not about to wake up over any small thing. Moving he laid on his chest and listened to the heartbeat he always wanted to hear.

Tamaki sat at the piano enjoying the day. He couldn't wait until Emma was old enough to go outside. She could now but not really since she was still so young and not protected from any serious illness yet.  
"Oh mother, your wanted." Stopping and looking over the piano he saw Kyouya walking in holding a not so happy Emma.  
"What did daddy to you huh? Come here. Guess you're not her favorite anymore."  
"No, she just doesn't want you to get jealous or rusty."  
"Emma, I hope you don't end up with the personality of your father, you can keep his looks but he is a jerk and I don't want that for you."  
"I can't help it if she likes me more. And who knows, maybe she wants to make it up to me for being with you for a little over nine months."  
"Look Emma we've made daddy jealous."  
"You both wish." Looking at the clock on the mantle he realized he had to go.  
"Are you sure you'll be okay here?"  
"I'll be fine. If I need help I'm sure someone here can help. Plus my parents are coming over and my mother won't give her up until she leaves."  
"Well alright see you in a little bit." To help Tamaki in the morning he moved his appointments to later in the day, now he just had to remember he had them. Saying good-bye to them he got going.

Getting off the bench Tamaki walked around the room with Emma to help calm her down. He busted Kyouya for being able to get her to settle down at times but he was just as capable. He still couldn't believe she was theirs, after so long of trying she was here, beautiful and perfect, in every way. She had been worth the wait. Not that if they had a child sooner he would love them less it was just that it had been a rough nine months with Kyouya and it was nice to have some joy in their life again. He had heard that babies take a lot of love and give little back, he didn't believe that for a second. Sure she couldn't show it yet but he could feel it and she gave back as much as she got.

"You've lost weight."  
Kyouya sat on the edge of the examination table waiting for them to hook him up and get things going.  
"Have I?"  
"A solid ten pounds. I figure five of it is from having a newborn at home, I've seen it happen to a lot of my patients."  
"What about the other five?"  
"It could be from the treatments since they can lead to loss of appetite, or it could be from the newborn as well. Has she been keeping you up?"  
"Not really, up until recently Tamaki was getting up most nights." Seeing the look of worry cross Akito's face he became nervous.  
"I want to change things around for today. Get you in for a screening before we do this." That wasn't what he wanted to hear. It was a good thing Tamaki couldn't come with him today. He wondered if Akito could tell how terrified he was right now. Should he call Tamaki and tell him he may be late coming home or just leave it? If he told him he would ask why and start to panic and he really didn't want to deal with that. That would help nothing.

Tamaki sat in the kitchen with his parents waiting for Kyouya to get home. He thought it was later than usual but with him going in later he had trouble remembering the time he got back. He was talking to his father about something when he felt a hand on his shoulder, turning, his eyes went wide as Kyouya's lips were on his. He could feel his cheeks turning red from knowing his parents were right there. Pulling him away he darted his eyes to them hoping Kyouya would get the hint.  
"You're in a good mood, is everything okay."  
"Never better." Getting the hint he made a gesture to them saying he was happy to see them. Sitting at the table with them he joined in on the conversation. Hearing Emma start crying he was up to get her. Tamaki was confused by how he was acting. It wasn't bad but it wasn't like him to be so perky and be so public with his affection, especially when family was over. Excusing himself he followed him upstairs and hung near the door to listen for a hint of something. Not that that was likely but just in case.

"Daddy got really scared before, he thought his disease got worse. He thought maybe he would be told one day he wouldn't get to see you, or hold you as much as he is hoping to. But, don't worry everything is fine, as fine as it can be. I can't wait for the day to be past all of this so I don't have to worry you and your mom about not being around. I will take this for now though."  
Seeing her looking up at him made the thought of ever leaving her unbearable. He wanted nothing more than to be by Tamaki's side and watch her grow up.  
"Well that explains a lot."  
Looking up at the door he saw Tamaki watching him from the doorway.  
"You heard?"  
"All of it, yes. So that's why you were late getting home? Because they thought it had gotten worse?"  
"Yes, apparently I've lost weight."  
"Have you?" He could tell Tamaki was staring him down, checking him over to see it.  
"That's what I said, but according to the scale I lost ten pounds."  
"From where?" He didn't see it, Kyouya looked the same as always.  
"Who knows, Akito guessed this one here was the cause of it."  
"Sure blame the defenseless one. But really, in all seriousness, your okay? Well as okay as you can be?"  
"I am, I worried for nothing, it seems I've been with you too long."  
Moving closer he had Emma between them as he let their lips meet.  
"Tonight, once my parents leave I want to discuss what I have to do so we can move past this finally. No more scares."  
"Okay, I couldn't agree more. Though as much as he wanted to be cured putting Tamaki through it wasn't something he wanted to do. They weren't together long as Emma started crying again ins Kyouya's arms.  
"She got the right idea, let's go have dinner. Let's get daddy to eat so mommy doesn't weigh more than him."  
Laughing at Tamaki's statement they left the nursery. Kyouya found it funny when Tamaki brought up his weight. It was clear that he lost a lot of the weight he put on from Emma this past month although he still chose to wear bigger closes to help hide the weight he still wanted to lose.

Watching Tamaki fall asleep on the bed yet trying to stay awake so they could talk was amusing for Kyouya. Seeing his whole body jerk as he woke himself up made him laugh every time.  
"Just go to bed."  
"I thought we were going to talk."  
"Because that is going so well. We'll talk tomorrow."  
"Fine, in the morning then." Yawning he slid under the covers and fell asleep. He must be really tired to not even put up a little fight or try to. Oh well he had no problem waking up to take care of Emma. That would actually work, show Tamaki he wasn't lying and allow him to sleep all night since he barely napped during the day like the doctor suggested. He always claimed he just wasn't tired but he figured Tamaki didn't believe that everything would be fine if he slept and left Emma in his care. As caring as that was it was hurtful. He couldn't beat this fast enough.

"You brought the whole family it seems. Let me take a guess, you couldn't get a babysitter?" Akito walking into his office and saw Kyouya, Tamaki and Emma who was in her stroller. "You came to see you uncle too, how sweet." He laughed as she started crying.  
"Forgive her she is upset because she went for shots today. And not really, I just hate feeling like the maids have to watch her. Makes me feel like they are raising her."  
"I can understand that, why have kids if someone else is going to raise them right?"  
"Yes! That's my thought exactly."  
"I hate to break up the parents meeting but I agree with my daughter. I would like to get this over with and go home."  
"She is your daughter isn't she Kyouya?"  
"Thank you!"  
"Poor Emma."  
"Ugh!" So much for that. He didn't mind them talking at all but right now he wanted to get this over with and go home. The three of them discussing plans to do another transplant wasn't his idea of a nice time out.

"Are you absolutely sure about this?" Getting into bed for the night Kyouya wrapped his arms around Tamaki and pulled him close. Forty eight hours, that's all they had before they went through with this.  
"I am I want to do this for you."  
"But, what if something happens and this doesn't work for me again?"  
"And what if it does, I know you won't ask Fuyumi and maybe this is a sign. Normally people outside of family aren't able to donate because they don't match up right? But I am, I beat those rare odds. It's a sign that this will work, it's meant to be. It's telling us that being together was fated to happen so I could do this for you, for our future. I need to try this. Even if by some slim chance this doesn't work I need to know I tried and did all I could for you."  
"Fine. I'm only allowing you to do this because you want to. Any other reason and I would say forget it. I don't want you to feel that you have to.  
"I love you, that is why I want to do this. I love you and want you here always."  
"I love you too. How did I end up with someone like you?"  
"I thought you were cute looking and made me look good."  
"Yea, I figured it was something like that." Smiling back at each other they kept their faces close. Doing nothing but kissing each other's neck and varies parts of their faces they enjoyed the simple things going on between them. Simple showing of affection seemed to do the same if not more as the more intense shows of affection.

As Tamaki's eyes opened and he tried to stretch he felt a sharp pain in his side.  
"Careful Tamaki dear." Looking around he saw a white, bland looking room. That's right he just went through a transplant for Kyouya, Kyouya was he okay? He hadn't seen him since before the surgery.  
"Mother, did everything go well? Kyouya, is he doing well?"  
"Kyouya is fine, he is still in recovery but the doctors said he did well in the surgery and seems to be responding well to everything. Though the doctor also said he wants to talk to you both."  
"Can anyone see him?"  
"Well you certainly can't. But his family is waiting for the okay."  
"That's good. I wanted to make sure he wasn't alone. And Emma?"  
"With your father, she was asleep soon after you both went in."  
"That's good. And your sure you don't mind watching her?"  
"Of course I don't. There is no reason for her to stay with the housekeepers when your father and I are just as capable. Now stop worrying about everything and worry about yourself so you can heal up."  
With Annie-Sophia's help he sat up better. He felt pretty good considering he just had a major organ removed, well one of them anyway.  
"I'm going to have a scar won't I?"  
"Yes, but I'm sure it won't be terrible. If you wanted to you could probably have it erased."  
"I'm going to have a scar, that is going to look so cool when I wear a swimsuit!"  
"Well at least you're positive about it Tamaki dear. I'm going to let you get some rest and make sure your father is doing okay. Heavens knows he was awkward around you when you were a baby."  
"Okay. Oh mother, before you go can you do me a favor? Can you tell Kyouya I love him and I'll see him as soon as I can."  
"Sure sweetie. We'll come back tomorrow when you've had a choice to recovery."  
With nothing to do he thought about Kyouya and how he was doing until he fell asleep.

Why did he do this again? Why did he allow himself to be subjected to another surgery like this? It was for his family, it was for his family; he wanted to be with them forever.  
"See Fuyumi, we told you he would get his color back within twenty-four hours."  
Well it seemed Fuyumi was here with Akito. If he was nice he would open his eyes to speak with them. He did want to ask about Tamaki though and make sure he was okay. He saw Annie-Sophia briefly yesterday who told him Tamaki was thinking about him but that didn't really tell him how he was doing. It was rare but possible that Tamaki could face complication with only one kidney. He would never be able to forgive himself if that happened. The very last thing he wanted was to hurt Tamaki or put him at risk.  
"How do you feel Kyouya?" Fuyumi must have been watching him like a hawk since he barely opened his eyes. He wanted to know about Tamaki, he wanted to know about Tamaki, he wanted to know about Tamaki.  
"About as good as I can be. Any word from Tamaki? Are things going well for him?"  
"They are, he can probably be released in the next day or two should everything stay strong." That was good to hear, one fear could end now.  
"And what about me, tell me, did we get it this time?"  
Seeing the look cross his brothers faced he knew they didn't and they hadn't told anyone.  
"How bad is it?"  
"You did the surgery and it didn't do anything!" Fuyumi was more than angry by that. Why would her brothers do that?  
"It did more than you think. It is the tissue again and if we tried to remove it we could have done more damage than it was worth. Now we'll continue with treatments to kill what's left."  
"If it doesn't work it will kill me won't it?"  
"Eventually yes."  
"And I take it no one told Tamaki this?" He was ignoring the noises Fuyumi was making. He didn't like the news anymore than she did but crying or getting upset wasn't going to change the facts.  
"No, not yet. Once he is released we can discuss everything."  
"Alright, that's fine."  
"Kyouya how can you be so calm about this?"  
"Fuyumi listen to me alright. I'm not. But, I don't have a choice. Without the surgery I was just waiting for it to spread and kill me. I knew with the surgery they may not get it all, we talked about that possibility when they saw how it was the other day. Even so I had to try. If what happens next works then I may become and stay cancer free."  
"But if it doesn't you'll die!"  
"I would die either way!"  
"Don't make me separate you two. Fuyumi, Kyouya knows what he is doing and what had to be done. If you want to discuss it then we'll talk in my office."  
At least Kyouya wasn't the only one that couldn't handle her anymore. Maybe it was a good thing she heard it all though, she would be good practice for when they told Tamaki. Even if had a fifty-fifty shot of becoming cancer free he had to continue to believe it would all work. He would beat this; he would watch Emma grow up. Who knows, maybe she would one day have a sibling or two. Bringing up Emma he couldn't get over how amazing she was. Becoming a dad was one of the greatest things to ever happen to him; the other was meeting Tamaki and being able to spend their lives together.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o  
Everyone can thank my job for this chapter. It took me 3 days with a 7 hour shift each day but it ended up being a chapters worth and today I started the next one there too. Hope you enjoy, please review.  
~Femalefighter~


	16. Time Flies

Chapter 16

**Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

Kyouya stared out the hospital room window trying to pass time. It looked nice out today, what was today's date? Was it September already? The summer went by so fast once Emma was born it seemed. Days dragged since he spent them here though, soon, he should be released soon. He had been told ahead of time that he would have to stay longer since this was his second surgery and was at risk for complications. Still he couldn't wait to be home, he hadn't seen Tamaki since he was released a couple of days ago and they talked with Akito. He took the news pretty well, then again though, they had been forewarned. Perhaps that was why he hadn't seen him since. Maybe he had just put up a front and was really at home moping or worse, completely devastated and crying. He really hope that wasn't it, it wouldn't make _him _feel any better.  
"Oh hey you're up, good. I didn't want to disturb you."  
Speak of the devil it was Tamaki and it looked like he brought Emma.  
"How did you sneak her in?"  
He graciously extended his arms out to take her from him.  
"I didn't sneak her in. I asked Akito and he said it was fine since you weren't in recovery or ICU. Sorry I haven't been here sooner. I wasn't feeling too hot."  
"Everything okay now?"  
"Yea, I just hurt more since I was home and moving around more than when I was here."  
"You know, you probably shouldn't carry or lift her much until you heal more."  
"I know, everyone said the same thing to me when I told them I hurt but I couldn't just ignore her."  
"That's true, but try to take it easy. Are your parents still staying at the house?" They decided it would be easier to have them sleep over since their house didn't have a crib or anything for Emma to sleep over in and instead of making them get they could just stay over.  
"They are and it's been nice having them there. Though I can't wait until your home the bed is lonely without you in."  
"You and me both. I'm glad you're doing well. I was getting worried when I hadn't heard from you in days."  
"Sorry, I thought about calling you but I didn't want to wake you if you were sleeping. You should have known everything was fine. I am pretty strong."  
"Emma, you're mother's head is inflating again."  
The three of them sat together enjoying being all together again. It had only been a few days but it felt as if much more time had passed apart.

Tamaki couldn't help but smile as he felt Kyouya's arm tighten gently around him while they slept. He could hear him still sleeping peacefully. It felt wonderful to have him home again. Nights were so much better with them together. Now so long as Emma didn't start crying and end this perfect, silently created moment, he would be very happy.  
"…smell…nice."  
Kyouya was mumbling in his sleep? That was a first, he must be very happy to be home. It was nice knowing moments like this could happen more often. He was certain Kyouya would become cancer free. They would kill the remaining cells and he would be cured forever.

Words weren't strong enough to fully explain how good it felt to see Kyouya full of energy and vigor. He was near the end of his first treatment cycle and he had more life than he did before. He was his old self again; it had to be a sign. The treatment worked, the cancer was gone Kyouya could feel it. He was feeling great and he dreamt about it the other night, that never happened before so it must mean something.  
"When does it become official?" Tamaki sat at the piano playing while Kyouya held Emma who was dozing off for the night.  
"Next week is my appointment. Almost a year, I've been fighting for eleven damn months, I can't wait for it to be over."  
"I know you can't. Soon it will all be done. I agree with you. You look good, you feel good, I believe you've finally beat it too. If Emma was up I'm sure she would agree too. Seeing she was finally asleep he began to stop so they could put her down and go to bed themselves.

Kyouya sat in the kitchen with Emma who was all smiles as he played with her before he had to leave for his appointment.  
"Can you wish me luck for Emma? Can you wish daddy the best, that he'll get the best news?" She smiled as her hands reached up for him. Passing her to Tamaki he got going.  
"We'll be waiting for you to return."  
"See you soon." Kissing them good-bye he left. He really felt good about this, even if it wasn't gone completely it had to be close.

Tamaki walked downstairs to hear a door close down the hall, Kyouya must be home. That's strange, why did he go into the office. Maybe he forgot to do something for Akito and needed the computer. That had happened before, usually it was for the insurance and he needed to get it done so he wouldn't forget.  
"Hey, so how did it go?" Opening the door his smile and excitement faded as he caught a glimpse of Kyouya's face. It was covered in grief and sadness, even as he tried his best to hide it.  
"No, don't tell me." His legs gave out as he sat across from him at the desk. How was this possible?  
"Tamaki, I want you to know something. There is a good chance this will kill me."  
"They said this is now, you know; then?"  
"No it's not terminal yet but it very well could be one day. And that one day may or may not be far off."  
"Oh God." Burying his head in his hands he sat there barely remembering to breathe. "So they can't do anything?"  
"I believe they are trying different things but it's not gone completely and it looks as though it's only a matter of time before it stops working."  
"But you look and feel great, how can this be true?"  
"As Akito said, I felt great the first time they found it." Standing, Tamaki walked over to carefully sit on Kyouya's lap. Wrapping his arms around his neck he held him close. Kyouya had done so well to hold it in but the minute he felt and heard Tamaki's tears he lost it. He didn't want to leave the only person that actually got him, that saw him for who he was. Death seemed evitable and he was terrified to die. He didn't want to, he didn't want to hurt, he just wanted to be here, right here, always.  
"I love you Kyouya. That isn't going to change, ever. Even if the worst should fall upon you I'll still love you and stay by your side."

That night Kyouya was in the nursery with Emma to pass the time while Tamaki sat in the office to prepare to go back to work tomorrow. He really didn't want to now, after what he learned earlier work was the last thing he wanted to do but Kyouya insisted. Pushing back the work he was doing he cried into his arms. The man he loved, the only one he ever wanted to be with may not be here one day. He knew death was evitable for them but he thought they would grow old together. No, he couldn't think like that. Kyouya said he wasn't terminal yet, he could still beat this. He couldn't give up hope. For their future and for their dreams to live on he had to believe in their love and determination in him to beat this. Sitting up he dried his eyes and got back to work. Kyouya would get upset if he saw him like this.

Emma squirmed in Kyouya's arms as water touched her face. He tried to dry her face before she started crying since right now she was smiling as he played with her.  
"Sorry Emma, daddy can't seem to hold it together anymore today. You _are _getting a bath in an hour anyway." It seemed the more he saw her smiling face the more his eyes flooded with tears. It looked like he was unable to fight them back anymore. His world seemed to crash around him earlier when Akito told him the cells around had grown not shrunk like they were believing. Then to hear his body may stop responding to treatment and _that _being the reason he never got better, it turned the day into a living hell. They were going to try other things and see if that helped, he hoped, no, he prayed it did.  
"Daddy doesn't want to leave you, ever. He waited years for you to arrive and now I could miss years with you. I have gone through life without living with both my parents. I don't want that for you."  
Taking a few deep breaths he got himself together and it seemed to be just in time. Tamaki opened the door and stood to stare at the two that meant the world to him.  
"I hate to be a bother but it's time to get a certain someone ready for bed."  
"Emma, which one do you want to guess he's talking about?"  
Rolling his eyes Tamaki walked in taking her from Kyouya. Neither brought up what they had been upset about not all that long ago. Both could tell the other had been thinking about it though. They stayed relevantly quiet while they bathed Emma. The only conversation held was to her. Deep down they wanted to believe that if they didn't talk about it then maybe it would just go away. Putting her to bed they silently walked into their bedroom. Once settled Kyouya moved closer to wrap his arms around Tamaki and held him tight.

XxXxXx

Tamaki sat at work using his lunch hour to make sure everything was set for tomorrow. Tomorrow was Emma's first birthday. He couldn't believe his little princess was turning a year old, god he was getting old. Tomorrow would be even better knowing Kyouya was doing well. Sure he had his bad days and his really good days but he had more good days than bad. And what Kyouya told him, that things hadn't gotten much worse gave them both hope that he could still beat it. The longer things stayed well the longer he had a fighting chance. Who knew maybe they would find a cure soon.  
"Tamaki I'm going now. If something happens let me know." Yuzuru snuck his head in the door to just let him know what was going on.  
"Huh?"  
"I told you, I have to go pick your mother up from the airport remember."  
Oh yea that was right he did tell him that, a few times too.  
"I should be alright on my own. See you both at dinner." He still wasn't crazy about the idea that she was flying back and forth but she kept telling him it was fine. She had gone back to France after the New Year for doctor appointments so she could refill her prescriptions. Even though Kyouya offered to find her the best doctor that worked for the family she told him not to worry about it. She felt well enough to travel and didn't want to be a bother. Both were eternally grateful to her for all her help while she was here. It was nice being able to take care of Kyouya and still know Emma had been taken care of since Yuzuru couldn't have taken all that time off from work. Focusing back on work he realized he had four hours to go, nothing bad could happen during that time. He had never really been in charge before. Well not all long before, how hard could it be though? All he had to do was finish his work for today and make sure everyone did their job. One day he would be in charge full time so he better get used to it now.

Kyouya looked up from what he was doing in the office hearing Emma become excited and start laughing.  
"Oh your home."  
"Oh your home." Tamaki mocked Kyouya as he looked over at Emma.  
"Oh my god, what are you doing? Look at you! Kyouya what have you been doing, sleeping?"  
"What she was fine." Standing he saw she had started to play with the carpet and was ripping it up slowly but surely.  
"She could have gotten seriously hurt if the string tangled around her! And look her finger is bleeding. Here Emma, let me help you. Your mothers got you, let's get you cleaned up." Taking the string away from her and checking to make sure it wouldn't hurt her if it was tangled he lifted her up and checked her from head to toe. She started crying as she went into his arms  
"It must have just happened."  
"Just stop alright!"  
He started to walk out to clean her fingers and make sure it wasn't serious. Kyouya ran after him, he felt horrible for not paying closer attention to her. Usually he did so well.  
"I'm sorry Tamaki."  
"You have one task! All I ask you to do is watch our daughter so nothing like this happens and you can't even do that! You want me to believe you can handle this but I'm scared that maybe this isn't the first time you weren't paying attention!"  
"Your right I messed up. Let me help you."  
"No you've done enough! I've got this!" Turning his back to Kyouya he walked into the kitchen to clean her up. Kyouya wished he could get Tamaki to understand how bad he felt for allowing himself to take his eyes off her. Tamaki was right. She could have gotten seriously hurt. What if she tangled herself and became strangled or if she put it in her mouth? He would have to make it up to him somehow, once he was speaking to him again.

"I know the soap and water hurts but I need to clean your fingers. I'm almost done princess." Tamaki tried to get Emma to sit still so he could make sure it wasn't serious since he didn't know what cut her. Kyouya really messed up here and he was more than just furious with him over it. Taking a towel to dry her hands he tried to get her to stop crying.  
"You'll all good Emma, see Momma made you all better." Seeing she was still crying he picked her up to go into the other room so they could play before his parents showed up. He wanted to see her smiling again. Since he first saw it he felt that it was the most beautiful thing in the world.

Emma was happily playing, with a stuffed dog she loved, with Tamaki. She giggled as she waved it around nearly hitting him with it. Wondering what made her even more bouncy he turned to see Kyouya slowly coming into the room and sitting on the floor with them.  
"I'm sorry for snapping at you."  
"No I'm sorry; you had every right to get mad. I messed up by taking my eyes off her. I know she is going through that curious phase and I allowed myself to become side tracked. Is she okay?" He never expected Tamaki to apologize, he knew he had been at fault and Tamaki was just being the concerned parent.  
"She is fine, the cuts aren't bad at all and should heal soon."  
"That's good, I'm glad."  
Lifting her up over his head she went back to her babble.  
"Daddy's sorry for not paying attention to you earlier. Can you forgive him?"  
Tamaki started laughing as the dog she was holding hit him in the face knocking his glass off an ear.  
"Someone takes after their mom."  
"No she doesn't, I don't condone violence." Taking her back from Kyouya he let him fix his glasses. He took her little hand to high five him for getting Kyouya.  
"Tell daddy, go, bad daddy, you let me get hurt. For your punishment you're my slave. Now change me before grandma and grandpa show up for dinner."  
"Alright, I'm up." Getting off the floor he took her back to walk out of the room and left Tamaki laughing.

By the next morning yesterday's incident was put behind them and arrangements were made to get the office's carpet replaced. Kyouya was woken up by something touching his face, moving his lips and going in his mouth.  
_*What the hell?*_  
His eyes jumped open while he tried not to freak out thinking a creature of some sort was on him.  
"Yay daddy's up, good girl!" Looking he saw Emma inches from his face, oh thank god it was just Emma. Sitting up he placed her on his lap.  
"About time you woke up, it's nine thirty already."  
"Oh shut up."  
"Oooo someone is cranky."  
"You have something on your face and in your mouth while you're trying to sleep."  
"It was just Emma; she woke up so I got her and brought her in here. She saw you and I thought it was cute.  
"Emma I hate him did you know that? Absolutely hate him."  
"Pssh you can't hate me I'm too loveable. Now aren't you forgetting something?"  
Raising an eye brow he waited for Tamaki to say something more. He wasn't going to it looked like but he did seem to be getting upset if not angry.  
"You hate me? You're the one that is worthless I swear!"  
"What? What did I do or not do?"  
Emma started crying on Kyouya's lap as Tamaki started flipping out and made a gesture to her.  
"_Emma_, our _daughter, _what's today?"  
"July thirty first. Oh god Tamaki, really? Are you truly serious right now? What do you take me for? You thought I forgot today was her birthday. You can really be a pain you know that. Come on Emma let's get you breakfast. And your mom said I was cranky."  
Annoyed with Tamaki he left him on the bed and headed downstairs with Emma so they could eat. Realizing what started as a joke and ending not so well he got up to apologize and join them.

Around two the party got started as Tamaki's parents, and Kyouya's family arrived. The former host club came all together shortly after. In the last year they hadn't gotten together much. Maybe that would change this year, hopefully that would change this year. If they weren't the only one with a kid they could plan play dates and would get together more often. But as of right now that wasn't the case and probably wouldn't be for awhile as no one else was married or engaged.  
"Is she ready to meet her adoring fans yet?" Tamaki met Kyouya in the nursery to see if he was done dressing her.  
"I don't know you tell me." Picking her up he showed her off to Tamaki. "This is much better than what she was wearing."  
"What was wrong with it? I thought she looked cute before."  
"Stop right there. One, you chose it. Two, Tamaki do you have any sense anywhere in you? You had her in some puffy dress that was so heavy on her she couldn't sit and stay up."  
"I was just going to hold her."  
"All day? Really? I would have liked to see that."  
"Well now you never will I guess. Now come on she has guests waiting."  
Taking her from Kyouya they walked out and outside together.

Digital cameras were great. They held way more photos than an old film camera. Tamaki had already taken over two hundred and that was even before cake. He was determined to never miss a moment; it was Emma's first birthday after all and he wanted it all recorded forever. This was his family, his life, his happy, basically perfect family and he wanted that to always be shown. He wanted this since he was still living in France and now that he had it he wanted to preserve it.  
"Tamaki, let me see the camera."  
"Why father, what's up?"  
"You'll find out in a second. Now hand it over." Reluctantly and a little scared he did what he was told. His mother grabbed his arm and Kyouya's to have them on opposite sides of Emma who was sitting in her highchair in front of the cake that had just been brought out.  
"Now smile." Yuzuru got the three of them in focus and took the picture before Fuyumi decided to take one with the two of them and Tamaki's parents followed them and Kyouya's entire family.  
"Hello my little birthday girl, come to daddy." Kyouya lifted her up to wipe the cake off her face and clean her up a little bit.  
"Aww Kyouya-chan she looks like you." Mitsukuni spun over holding a piece of cake.  
"Of course she does, isn't that right Emma. You look like daddy and you love it." Mitsukuni noticed the smile that covered Kyouya's face. Even Tamaki hadn't made it so bright and bubbly. Having Emma changed him and he was loving every minute of it, that was obvious. She along with Tamaki was his world and he wasn't trying to hide that fact.

0o0o0o0o0o  
Already started next chapter and things are going to move fast so I hope you're all ready for it. Please review.  
~Femalefighter~


	17. Year 2

Chapter 17

**Disclaimer- **I own nothing!

Tamaki sat in an all white room, he was alone. All he heard was this voice that said the same thing over and over again. "If you have her you'll lose him." Two pictures appeared in front of him, one of Emma and one of Kyouya.  
"But why can't I have both?" He was pleading, why make him chose between the man he loved and the child he always wanted.  
"If you have her you'll lose him."  
"But why? For the love of god tell me why!" Tears rolled down his face as he yelled, pleaded, with the voice. He was blinded as the room became brighter.

Kyouya stood in the bathroom in front of the sink to throw back a few pills as Tamaki ran in. He knelt down to throw up for a second and then dry heave for a few more. Quickly swallowing he threw the cup in the sink and went over to kneel beside him to see if he was okay.  
"What happened? What's wrong?" He noticed his face was pale and wet and he had sweat on his forehead. His clothes felt a little wet as well. Was he running a fever? It was the middle of October so it wasn't too early for flu season.  
"Can you talk to me Tamaki, tell me what's wrong?"  
"Nothing, I'm fine." Standing, he went to the sink to rinse his mouth out and splash cold water on his face.  
"Do you feel hot?" Moving next to him he felt his face trying to see if he had a fever.  
"I'm not sick, don't worry about it. It's nothing."  
"It's not nothing. If it was nothing you wouldn't be running in feeling about ready to be sick."  
"It was just a dream, an old horrible dream."  
"Well tell me about it since not seems to be hurting you."  
Wrapping his arms around Tamaki he walked them over to the bed so they could lie down. Keeping him close he waited for him to talk. Tamaki moved closer needing to feel Kyouya as close as possible.

"It started right before I learned I was pregnant with Emma. I was scared by it but it didn't make much sense to me then. Now I fear it means something. I'm in this room, an all white room. And there is this male voice that only says the same sentence over and over and over again. It says, "If I have her I'll lose him." Then I see what looks like you only it's a silhouette and you're in pain and dying. Then I used to see what looked like a baby but now I see Emma or a silhouette of her, she is crying and calling out for me. The voice keeps saying "If I have her I'll lose him." I sit there and plead, asking why can't I have both but it doesn't stop. Kyouya I'm so scared. What if I finally chose? I don't want to chose Emma and lose you forever but I don't want to chose you and lose Emma. God, I am such a horrible person for debating who I love more, my husband or my child."  
"You're not horrible in the slightest. Your inability to decide is due to your love for us which we appreciate and thank you for. Remember it's just a dream. Dreams hold no power in this world if you happen to chose one over the other in the dream we will both still be here. But if it makes you feel any better I'm telling you to choose her. I lived a life already. Sure I'm not old but I want to know my daughter gets to experience life. It's a sacrifice I would willingly make for her."  
"I would too without a second thought."  
Still though Kyouya could feel Tamaki shaking under him. This nightmare truly frightened him.  
"We're both fine I promise. Nothing bad is going to happen. You're just worried and that fear is playing with you."  
This did make more sense to him now as to why Tamaki kept saying that getting pregnant when he did felt like bad timing.  
"Maybe but it happened from before I knew and only got worse as time went on. Right before she was born it happened every night."  
"It's just a dream it means nothing."  
Tightening his grip around Tamaki he held him close until he was able to fall back asleep.

That morning Kyouya wasn't surprised to see Tamaki up before him. Nor was he surprised to see him with Emma holding her close.  
"Morning, have you two eaten yet?" Walking over he kissed them both morning.  
"No not yet, Emma keeps crying." He could hear that, she wasn't loud but you could tell something was bothering her.  
"Relax Tamaki I'm sure it's nothing and in no way associated with your dream." Taking her from him he tried to see if it was a few possible things. He noticed she kept pulling away every time he tried to open her mouth.  
"She's teething."  
"But how? She went through it already remember. It started right before her birthday."  
"No but look her one tooth is coming in wrong. That's probably what's hurting her."  
"So what do we do for her?"  
"We take her to a dentist and see what they say."

Getting home Tamaki was relieved to see Emma feeling better. They were able to knock the tooth out without fear of messing up her adult teeth. She was however cranky from what the dentist did.  
"It will wear off Tamaki, she'll be fine in no time."  
"I know that and you're right. Still I want to stay close for now. So I can make her feel better."  
"It was just a dream. You're really scared by it aren't you?"  
"Maybe if this was the first time it happened I would think nothing of it but it's not and I'm scared by it returning. I mean what if it is trying to tell me something. I'm scared when you both aren't in my sites."  
"Try to relax, for me, please."  
Wrapping his arms around him he held him close hoping to erase his fears. Somehow he would make him feel better, that was his promise to him for sticking with him for the last year and a half.  
"Tell Akito he needs to find a cure. I'll relax then."  
"Their trying, my father is working hard to find one."  
"Are they close?"  
"Not yet. But that doesn't mean it won't happen."  
"You know I really believed I would heal you, that if you did the transplant with me it would allow you to move on. Thinking about it now though I realize it was a stupid thought and I was just being childish."  
"No you weren't and don't feel that it did nothing I probably would be a lot worse right now. You did a lot for me whether you realize it or not."  
"If you say so."

Kyouya hated bad days, they were rare but he hated them all the same. He could barely lift his head up off the bed after his treatment yesterday. All he wanted to do was sleep. Tamaki stayed home today to help take care of him and Emma. He hated to do that to him. He shouldn't be a burden to Tamaki although he would never say he was. He didn't need to for Kyouya to feel it. He shouldn't need someone to take care of him, he wasn't a baby nor was he old, he was only twenty eight. He never had to have someone take care of him when he was growing up he certainly didn't want it now. He wouldn't be so bad if he didn't hurt all over, his energy might be better too.  
"Kyouya are you up, I brought you lunch."  
Sitting up while trying to avoid how he felt he waited for Tamaki to walk over.  
"The chief made some of your favorites today in hopes you'll feel better."  
"He does know this isn't anything near a cold right?"  
"Yes but the thought is still there. Are you sure there isn't something I can do to help you in some way?"  
" You're doing enough, what has Emma been up to?"  
"She's been looking for you. Do you think it would be possible for us to sit here with you for a little while or would you rather us not?"  
"That's fine but if you leave you'll have to take her with you. I don't think I can go after her."  
"That's fine; we'll just sit here with you."  
Tamaki watched as every movement was slow and he tried not to moan in his discomfort. There had to be something he could do so he could feel better, he hated seeing him this way. Even if there was some way Kyouya probably wouldn't mention it, he hated asking for help.  
"You can get Emma if you'd like. I'm pretty sure I'm done."  
"If you're sure. She should be waking up from her nap any minute." Taking the tray he couldn't help but notice his appetite was practically nonexistent when he was like this. That was never a good sign but he just had to keep telling himself it wasn't forever.

Kyouya had just managed to get himself to turn the TV on when Tamaki came back in holding Emma.  
"Look Emma I found daddy. I told you he was in here. Placing her in the bed he made sure she wasn't going to fall off as she crawled over to Kyouya.  
"Yay you found daddy."  
"Hi Emma want to sit with me?" Ignoring the fact that the last thing his body wanted him to do was lift his daughter he placed her on his lap. She started to play with the buttons on his shirt until they stopped her worried she would pop one off without them noticing. Since she was active from waking up not all that long ago Tamaki grabbed her hands to make her stand between them.  
"Look daddy I'm standing, soon I'll be walking and I'll make you chase me all over the house while my mother's at work."  
"Don't show her how to lie Tamaki we both know she'll wait for you to come home before she plays that game."  
"Sshhh don't give her any ideas." Kyouya was grateful Tamaki brought up the idea to bring Emma in here for a while. He enjoyed they joy she brought with her. Tamaki didn't seem as worried when the three of them were together.

As Emma's second birthday started to roll around Tamaki noticed Kyouya was getting weaker and weaker and held less energy for the entire day. He had trouble holding Emma for long periods of time without sitting and he didn't feel safe carrying her downstairs at all. Kyouya said he felt alright but the treatments he had undergone and were still dealing with was starting to catch up with him. Even so he was worried that one day he would come home from work to hear the words he dreaded. It also wasn't helping that his dream came back and was almost a daily thing. He hadn't told Kyouya about it knowing he needed his rest and to really focus on himself right now but that didn't make it any less scary. The moments that made everything else unimportant; Kyouya wasn't sick and Tamaki wasn't haunted by his dreams, were ones where Emma was growing up. She was standing on her own so they expected her first steps any day now. She already said her first words. They were laying in one morning while they watched TV. The last channel they had on was now showing the news and some story at their local park. They showed a bunch of dogs playing and running around, Emma's eyes lit up as she started bouncing up and down on the bed.  
"Doggy!"  
"Yes Emma that's a dog." It took both a second for it to register that she actually said it. When it did Kyouya beat Tamaki to her and had her in his arms first.  
"You're so smart, your dad is so proud of you."  
Moments like this were the ones Tamaki wished could last forever. Kyouya never said it but he could tell he wished the same as well. Within a few moments she was able to associate both of them along with a few other words. She definitely took after them.

Tamaki walked into the house from work to hear Emma's laughter coming from the living room. Following it he saw Kyouya holding her arms while she stood as if he was trying to stop her from something.  
"What are you doing to her, Emma am I going to have to teach you how to defend yourself?"  
"I was doing this for you. I thought you might like to be home to witness this." Carefully placing her feet on the floor they watched as she used the couch to stay balanced. Ignoring the fact that Tamaki was home and in the same room as her she started to try to get her dog on the other side of the room. Both tensed as she wobbled a bit before her leg touched the ground for her first step.  
"She tried earlier but I thought you would have liked to be here to see it, so I stalled her."  
"I really appreciate it, thank you."  
He leaned across the couch to kiss him for a second before trying to stay near her. They had done the best they could to make sure she wouldn't get hurt but he didn't want to risk anything by being across the room. Tamaki didn't need to be next to Kyouya to know he was upset that he didn't have the energy to chase after her right now. It had probably taken a lot to stop her from walking for however long he did.  
"Doggie!" Grabbing her stuffed dog she fell trying to turn around with it in her hands. Standing back up she went for the dog again and walked back towards Kyouya wanting him to pick her up.  
"You aren't tired of me yet? Well alright come here." Tamaki sat next to them to use Emma to brighten Kyouya's spirits. Together he was certain they could. It seemed to work even after a maid came to get them for dinner.

Kyouya sat with Emma waiting for her to fall asleep for the night. Tomorrow she was turning two, unbelievable. For over two and a half years he was fighting kidney cancer, he was grateful he got to see two of her birthdays but something told him his luck wouldn't make it to a third. Earlier in the week he was told it moved to a stage three and the treatments weren't working as well anymore. His fear, his major fear seemed to be getting closer and closer, that he would die and Emma wouldn't remember him. He wanted her to know that he loved her in so many ways. Tamaki knew and was reminded about that every day, but she was still too young to remember him.  
"Daddy doesn't want you to forget that he loves you should the time could where he can't. You and your mother mean everything to me." He understood now what Tamaki meant back then, when he said that he got pregnant at the wrong time. Not that he wished they never had Emma; it was just that he wouldn't have to worry about saying good-bye to her. But now at least Tamaki would have some joy in his life after he was gone. He figured he would be a mess either way since he could tell it took a lot for him to hide the fact that he worried over his current and worsening state.  
"Daddy." His mind snapped from its depressing thoughts as Emma snuggled closer to him to fall asleep.  
Tamaki stayed outside the door to Emma's room and let the tears fall silently. He didn't want Kyouya to know he overhead him and that he wasn't able to not cry. Watching the man you love become sicker and sicker and not being able to do anything was unbearable but he didn't want him to die as a way to solve that problem. Drying his eyes he pushed off the wall and starting walking to their room for the night.  
"Tamaki, you haven't gone to bed yet?" Stopping, he waited for Kyouya to meet up, it was a good thing he made it next to the stairs so he wouldn't guess he overheard him.  
"Well I am now."  
"Your eyes are puffy, have you been crying?" Moving closer and trying to get more of the hall way light onto his face he took a better look at his eyes."  
"Well, no, not really. I stupidly got soap in them just before."  
"What am I going to do with you?"  
"I won't even tell you how it happened you'll just laugh at me and call me an idiot."  
"Only you, let's get you to bed before you hurt yourself some more."

Kyouya was grateful to his body for allowing him to feel pretty decent for Emma's birthday. It was nice to be able to spend the day with her along with their family and friends without feeling as tired. Watching her run around the yard to just run around was enjoyable while he talked to his family. Not to mention it was easier to make sure she was safe out here, there was nothing she could get into.  
"Oh Emma!" Hearing Tamaki's voice she stopped running and with the help of Haruhi and Fuyumi she was able to find him.  
"If you're this happy now then I wonder how you'll be when you see what your dad and I got you."  
Kyouya had to think about that for a second, what did they get her?  
"Look Emma, what's that?"  
Turning towards the house Tamaki pointed to his mother who was coming out of the house holding something.  
"Doggie!"  
_That's _right Tamaki had convinced him that they should get her a dog for her birthday, though he still thought he was nuts.  
"Your right Emma that is your puppy, her name is Alice and she wants to meet you. Happy birthday princess."  
"Doggie!"  
Trying to get out of Tamaki's arms she wiggled until he brought her closer to Annie-Sophia who was trying to keep the eight week old puppy in her arms.  
"Say hi Emma." Sticking her hand out she started laughing as it became wet from being licked.  
"I take it as she liked the gift." Kyouya walked over glad to see Emma so happy. Tamaki spent weeks trying to convince him to let her get a dog for her. Personally he thought she was too young but he felt good seeing her smiling. Once he agreed Tamaki went searching for the perfect one. He wanted a golden retriever for her knowing he loved his and they were super gentle which was great since it would be around a two year old. But a puppy so young, what was he thinking? He thought he would choose one at least house trained, he knew he should have gone with him.  
"Okay you two go play." Unable to hold them anymore Emma and Alice were placed down. Alice ran off to explore her new surroundings and Emma happily chased after.

That night Emma cried every time they took Alice away from her so she could go to bed. There was no way Alice was sleeping with her. Willing to meet halfway Kyouya grabbed the crate from the other room and brought it in.  
"There now she can stay in here with you."  
"I really don't like the idea of crating her."  
"Deal with it, I would like to wake up to a house not all torn up."  
"Doggie!"  
"Yes Emma, Alice is right there and will be there when you get up. We promise. You can watch her sleep from here, see." Tamaki put Emma in her crib for the night while Kyouya locked up Alice and came to say goodnight to her.

If only her birthday could last forever, if only how they were then would never change. What either of them wouldn't give to be able to forget the truth. The month following Emma's birthday Kyouya sat in Akito's office he didn't say anything after he got the news. All he thought of was how this was it and how would he tell Tamaki.  
"How long do I have left?"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

On to the next chapter, I told you things were going to move fast and trust me I'm not kidding. Hope you're ready and hope you enjoyed. Please review.  
~Femalefighter~


	18. Numbered

Chapter 18

**Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

Six months to a year, that's all he had left. That hardly gave him anytime but it made his eyes open to make sure he made good use of this time; that he used it to the fullest. He hadn't even told Tamaki yet, he couldn't, he didn't know how. He only found out the other day so it wasn't a terrible thing that he had waited. He couldn't wait too long though or he would find out when it was too late. If he found out that way though, then he wouldn't have to worry about the cancer killing him.  
"I knew I'd find you in here." Tamaki walked into the office after work seeing Kyouya working on something at the desk. He was always working on something, Emma's room was proof of that, it held a few of the pictures he drew along with the giant drawing he put on her wall above her crib with her name stenciled in before she was born. Everything he drew was beautiful, and Tamaki thought he had a real talent for it. Both hoped Emma was given that gift and used it once she was older.  
"Momma!" Looking around he saw Emma coming around the desk with a puppy that was waking up besides her.  
"Well hello there Emma I'm happy to see you too." Picking her up he couldn't help but smile over her wrapping her little arms around his neck to hug him.  
"Tamaki come here a second I want to show you something. But, do me a favor and close the door first. I want the four legged monster where I can see her."  
"Did you hear that Emma, daddy called Alice a monster."  
"You deal with her for a full day and then I'll let you say otherwise."  
Still he closed the door and walked over with Emma to see what Kyouya wanted to show him.  
"This is the only reason Rin and I haven't lost it with her." Opening his phone he went into his pictures to show Tamaki what went on before. Tamaki smiled as the picture showed Emma on the floor holding Alice while they both slept.  
"Well that's cute. Good to know they get along really well if in a little over a week Alice let her do that. See I did do a good thing."  
"I still wish you had gotten one a little older. I have a hard time watching Emma properly at times and then I have to deal with a puppy."  
"Sorry, at the time that didn't dawn on me. At least it's not forever."  
"Once Alice is out of the 'chewing everything phase' we need to give Rin a long paid vacation for her hard work."  
"Okay, will do. Now I don't know about you but I could go for some dinner. What do you say Emma, are you hungry?"  
"Food!"  
"Well I guess so, come on let's get daddy to join us."  
"Daddy up!  
"I'm coming. I'll grab you friend over here and join you in a minute."  
"Daddy up!"  
"Come on Kyouya, your daughter has spoken." Tamaki laughed as they headed to the door. It took Kyouya a second to stand up from the chair so he could grab Alice and bring her to the kitchen with them and keep an eye on her. Walking behind Tamaki he couldn't help but become aware of the fact that one day he wouldn't be able to join them for dinner. He wouldn't get to welcome Tamaki home from work or play with Emma. His days were numbered and that number seemed so low.

"Is everything okay Kyouya? You seem out of it lately." Tamaki was in bed and waited for Kyouya to join him after he took his pills.  
"Have I? My apologies, I guess with being busy watching Emma all day once your home my mind takes off."  
"That's fine I was just curious. How did you make out at Akito's on Tuesday? You never mentioned how it went and I was just wondering."  
"It could have gone better." He knew now would be the best time to tell him, he was asking after all. But he could tell the words were lodged in his throat and wouldn't come out.  
"That bad huh? If you would rather not tell me that's fine. I'm sure you would rather not focus on it and me bringing it up probably isn't helping. Just forget I asked." Kissing him good night he laid down to fall asleep leaving Kyouya to himself and knowing he still didn't tell him. He watched him sleep for a moment before lying next to him and wrapping his arm around him. Getting as close as he could he whispered in Tamaki's ear.  
"I love you, please never forget that."

Tamaki sat at work trying to figure out the form in front of him. Half was because it confused him to no end and the other was that ever since last week and the conversation he had with Kyouya while they were in bed, he couldn't help but debate if he should call Akito and ask him how bad things were getting. He planned to stick with what he told Kyouya and not bring it up so he could have some time to forget the best he could when they were together. But, he still liked to be up to date with what was going on with him. Hearing the phone ring again he sighed as he lifted it up. If it was the secretary for Ouran he may scream, not at them just in general. They were having issues over there today it seemed. Apparently a few pipes burst and they couldn't figure out how since it was the summer and weren't or shouldn't be in use.  
"Hello, this is Tamaki Suoh…Oh hello, is something wrong I don't believe you have ever called me at work before…Oh my god, is he alright?...I see I'll head right over thank you. What about Emma is she alright?...Oh okay, no that's fine. Thanks again for telling me." Hanging up he left everything as it was, just grabbing his keys and wallet. Running out he ran into his father in the hall; that saved him time.  
"Tamaki what is the matter, what's the rush?"  
"I need to go. My house just called, Kyouya just fell down the flight of steps in the house. I need to make sure he is alright."  
"Of course, go. What about Emma?"  
"The maids are watching her."  
"Call me once your home and let me know what's going on."  
"I will."  
With that he ran out to jump into either his or his father's car. One of them had to be here. He had to get to Kyouya; he had to know he was okay. The housekeeper wasn't sure how bad he was when the ambulance came for him.  
_*Please be okay, I'm not ready to lose him.*_

Running into the emergency room he asked the first nurse he could find to locate where Kyouya was.  
"Mr. Ootori is in room 201 on the second floor."  
"Second floor, 201, thank you very much." Looking for either the stairs or elevator he rushed to the second floor. Getting to the top of the second floor stairs he tried to catch his breath while he looked for room 201.  
"Tamaki!"  
Stopping he saw Akito at the nurses' station. "Kyouya, is he alright, can I see him?"  
"Slow down Tamaki. Kyouya faced no serious injury, likely he'll be sore for a few days but nothing is broken. But since you're here I need to discuss his living arrangements with you."  
"Living arrangements? I thought you just said he was fine."  
It quickly became clear to Akito that Kyouya had never told Tamaki the change in prognosis.  
"Why don't we talk for a moment in my office. I just came from Kyouya's room and he was sleeping." He really wanted to see Kyouya but followed Akito. Something told him not to hold off what he had to tell him.

Kyouya opened his eyes already starting to realize he felt Tamaki gripping his hand as if there was no tomorrow. He wasn't surprised he was here; he figured he was the first person either the house or Akito would call. Trying to sit up he became aware of the fact that he felt weak, very weak actually.  
"Oh good you're up, I don't know if you've seen Akito but he says you'll be fine. Nothing is broken or sprained."  
"Emma, she was next to me." He fell down twenty to twenty four steps, if he took Emma down with him. He didn't want to think about it.  
"She is fine. Rin pulled her back before she fell too and she told me to tell you that she is sorry she couldn't grab you when she saw you lose your footing."  
"Tell her not to be, she did the right thing." Tamaki had no idea the relief he got from hearing that she was okay. This was why he had someone with him though whenever he had her near stairs. She needed to go down with someone's hand and made sure a housekeeper had her because he felt shaky on them as well at times.  
"I did, but I figured you would say that, you can tell her when your home."  
"Tell me, how bad do I look?"  
"Honestly, pretty bad. But, you look exhausted more than anything else." Tamaki was happy to have Kyouya talking to him; still, what Akito said rang in his ears. Kyouya was dying; he was going home to basically die. He would be confined to a bed more or less and under the care of Akito unless he asked otherwise.  
"Akito spoke to you didn't he? I didn't want you to find out this way. I wanted to tell you I just wasn't sure how to."  
"Oh Kyouya." Tamaki couldn't keep it in anymore. Moving off the chair he held Kyouya as close as he could get. Holding back his tears he pulled away to sit back down. "I understand, I'm not mad so don't think that. It's not the happiest news in the world to want to go and tell every person you come across."  
Kyouya managed to smile a little at Tamaki's attempt to lighten the heavy and depressing mood. He still felt that he knew something else though. Maybe it was just the exhaustion. Tamaki couldn't bring himself to tell him everything Akito said, though he would be here for him when they discussed it.

They sat together even after Kyouya fell back asleep. Tamaki didn't want to leave his side until visiting hours were over. As he was leaving Yoshio was walking in with Akito.  
"Tamaki."  
"Hello sir it's nice to see you again. Akito, just so I know, about how long will he be here?"  
"Until tomorrow if we can set everything up, paperwork needs to be filled out. If not tomorrow than definitely the day after."  
"Okay, thank you. Nice seeing you again sir." Part of him felt that he should stay and see what they wanted; the other felt it was private.

Kyouya opened his eyes after dozing off yet again to see Tamaki no longer in the room with him, now he saw his father and Akito. Whenever they were together like this they brought bad news.  
"Tamaki didn't want to wake you to tell you he'll see you tomorrow."  
He figured as much but that didn't explain why his father was here, he already knew he was dying what other news could there be.  
"Kyouya, I need to apologize to you. I have failed you my son." Kyouya felt his mouth hanging open slightly, things were even worse than he thought if his father was here, and apologizing no less. Not that any of this was his fault though.  
"I'm going home to die aren't I?" Even if he still had months his body was wearing down. Today was proof of that, he would never be as strong as he was a few weeks ago."  
"I wasn't able to find a cure and save you, just as I wasn't able to save your mother."  
"Mother? But I thought she died from breast cancer." As soon as the words left his mouth he realized what his father was saying. He tried to find a cure for her when everything else didn't work and failed and after he made it his life's work to make sure he lost no one else that way again. He found it funny that it took him twenty nine years to figure it out. He went through hell back in high school trying to surpass his brothers and push the family company to the top of everything so this would never happen. It looked like they all failed.  
"I don't want to die." Burying his head in his hands he cried, forgetting his father was in the room with him. He cried knowing he was going to die and never see his family again, Emma, Emma was going to end up just like him, she was going to grow up barely remembering her father just like he barely remembered his mother. He cried harder as he felt his father's hand on his shoulder.

"Momma!" Tamaki just walked in the house to see Emma running up to him. Alice was practically trying to trip her as she ran behind her. Yea maybe Kyouya was right about such a young puppy. But then again any dog would do that.  
"Hey princess, shouldn't you be getting ready for bed?" Picking her up she grabbed his neck, happy to be in his arms.  
"I'm sorry Master Tamaki. I tried but she got upset every time."  
"That's alright I'm only joking. Emma what do you say to me getting you cleaned up for the night and then we'll spend some time together before you fall asleep?"  
"Momma!"  
"I'll take that as a yes."  
"Master Tamaki how he is?"  
Fixing Emma in his arms he looked over at Rin. "He'll be fine. He was very lucky to take a fall that large and basically walk away from it. _And _he said what I said, he thanks you for saving Emma."  
"Daddy hurt. Momma, daddy fell."  
"I know he did, but he is fine." Looking at their daughter he saw how much she resembled Kyouya. Seeing him in her he lost control of the defense he put up so he wouldn't cry the entire time he saw him. Holding her tightly he cried. Her father was dying and when she got older she wouldn't remember him. The thought broke his heart, yet he could only imagine how Kyouya felt all this time.  
"Momma?"  
"Sorry Emma, come on let's get you ready for bed."  
He had to keep going, that's what Kyouya had done for years. He could finally see why he pushed the way he did, it was so easy to be overcome with grief.

Tamaki got her bathed and dressed for bed but now faced an internal dilemma, putting her to bed. She was old enough to stay with him for the night, wasn't she? He didn't want to let her go right now, he knew he told himself to be strong but that was easier said than done. Unsure how to proceed he asked Rin before she went to bed.  
"Here sit right here for me Emma. Now don't move." Placing her on the bed between his and Kyouya's pillows he created a barrier on Kyouya's side of the bed so she couldn't fall out. She avoided one catastrophe today he didn't want to try for another in a twenty- four hour period.  
"Your going to stay here with momma tonight isn't that exciting?"  
"No."  
"What do you mean no? Come on it's me, you love me."  
"No."  
"You're going to make me sleep alone tonight."  
"No."  
"Oooh just wait until I tell daddy that you're in the 'no' phase he's going to get a kick out of that." Sitting next to her he pulled her closer while they watched TV. Since he hated the news he found nothing wrong with a program designed for toddlers. He would have had Alice join them but he agreed with Kyouya, he wanted a house that didn't look like a hurricane came by when he woke up when she wasn't in her crate unsupervised. Seeing Emma had fallen asleep he remembered that he told his father he would call once he was home and fill him in. It wasn't too late so he still could plus he really wanted to talk to someone. Muting the TV he picked up the phone and was happy they were connected.  
"So Tamaki how is Kyouya? Will he be alright?"  
"Well yes and no. He sustained no major injuries but things aren't going to go back to the way they were, ever." At his father's request he passed along what he learned earlier, now though, he couldn't not cry. "I'm really going to lose him father. I don't know what I'm going to do without him. He's my everything." Yuzuru did his best to try and help him over the phone, he could only imagine how hard it was for him right now knowing the days his family was all together was numbered and once that number was up it was never going to be whole again.  
"Father I'll be out of work for, I don't know how long. I need to be home for Kyouya, and Emma."  
"Of course Tamaki, I figured as much. You do what you have to and don't even worry about me and work we'll manage."  
They talked for a little while longer before Tamaki decided to let him go. He wanted to get up early so he could get to the hospital as soon as visiting hours started. Putting the phone back on its charger he turned the TV off and tried to fall asleep. All he could think about was how the man he loved was dying, that their days together were numbered no longer by years but by months. He knew from having Emma that time flew by and that was the worst thought, knowing time wouldn't move slower for them now. When that number was up he wasn't only going to just lose his husband or the father of their child but his best friend as well. Having Emma near he held her close to cuddle her without waking her knowing they faced a rough road ahead.

Kyouya was grateful to fate for letting him go home. He would have rather gone home knowing he had years here but he knew many people in his same position never got this chance.  
"Are you sure you want to be upstairs?" Tamaki didn't care where he wanted to stay so long as he was as happy as he could be in this situation.  
"I would prefer it if possible."  
"Of course Kyouya it isn't a problem." Akito had no problem accommodating to Kyouya's wishes he just had to figure out how to get him upstairs.  
"Kyouya we're going to have to walk you up. Do you feel strong enough to stand or would you rather wait a few minutes?"  
"No I'm fine, let's get this over with now."  
He would rather not wait, the thought wasn't any less depressing by waiting.  
"Okay than, Tamaki support him on the other side."  
"Of course."  
This was stupid, he felt weak but he could pull it together to walk up the stairs to their room.

The realization that he was worse than he thought hit when he got to the top of the stairs and was done. He felt ready for bed and hurt both inside and out. The outside pain he figured was from falling yesterday and the inside, we'll that's what got him in this mess.  
"Kyouya, for now there is no need for you to be hooked up to anything twenty-four hours. Because of that you have a little more freedom, with help you can go anywhere up here since nothing is to too far so long as you're up to it. No pushing yourself. I know you have a two year old that would love to have her father put her to bed at night."  
Kyouya got what he was saying and was grateful to him. Sitting on his bed he saw the hospital bed beside it, seeing it made him want to cry. Akito saw what he was staring at and pushed it towards the window.  
"It's only for when I need to hook you up to something, mainly for tests. Your bed is too big and too hard to use."  
That made him feel slightly better, the less he needed to be on it the better. Looking around he noticed Tamaki wasn't in the room anymore.  
"Have you seen Tamaki?"  
"I believe Emma woke up. I thought that's what he said."  
"Oh okay." He just laid back across the bed when he heard his princess.  
"Daddy!" She ran into the bedroom towards Akito with Tamaki close behind. It took Kyouya a minute to get himself to sit back up.  
"Hello Emma I missed you."  
"Daddy pway." God he loved listening to her say words she was learning.  
"Not right now Emma. You may have just woken up but daddy needs a nap. I hope you never have to spend the night in a hospital." Thanks to Akito she was able to be next to him on the bed. She was too cute pulling his shirt sleeve trying to get him up so they could play together.  
"Why don't we let daddy sleep for a little bit while we have lunch Emma huh, would you like that?"  
"No." Tamaki swore her head was going to pop off from her shaking it back and forth so fast.  
"Aren't you hungry?"  
"No."  
"Are we going to play this again Emma?"  
"No."  
"Why don't you listen to me? Do you not like me anymore?"  
"No."  
Kyouya couldn't help but laugh at the scene before him. Tamaki told him about it this morning but he needed to see it for himself.  
"Emma, why don't we eat in here? Would you like that instead?" Maybe he could help Tamaki out right now.  
"No."  
"You don't want to eat with your dad?"  
"No." Yet she moved closer to Kyouya  
"Okay we'll do that. The four of us will eat in here and then I'll nap and after that we'll play."  
"No."  
Yea, the 'no' phase got really annoying really fast. He wouldn't miss it once it was over. Once they ate Tamaki watched Emma play while he talked to Akito so they could let Kyouya sleep. He would have left him alone in the room but he said it was fine with them staying and he seemed out cold so he didn't bother moving. Time was precious, Kyouya probably didn't want to miss a second if he didn't have to and traveling from room to room would take time away from them being together. Time, time seemed to be the enemy anymore and he really wished he could make it stop.

0o0o0o

Chapter 19 might take an additional day or two to get up since I know I'm gonna make myself cry and I don't want to look stupid and cry from it during work. You know the drill, review and leave any thoughts or questions.  
~Femalefighter~


	19. Perfect Birthday

Chapter 19

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!  
A/N- Yea I don't recommend it Hannah :)

Tamaki never thought he could hate and yet love something so much at the same time before. He hated the night for it marked the end of another day but loved feeling Kyouya's arms around him. He loved feeling the warmth that came off his body being so close. They both enjoyed this time together. During the day they hung out with Emma and Akito stayed near without being on top of them but at night it was just them.  
"Tamaki are you asleep yet?" Kyouya knew Tamaki was a light sleeper and he didn't want to wake him but he wanted to talk if he was still up.  
"No, why what's wrong?" Sitting up he looked over to make sure he was okay, he didn't need a light on to check on him. He was so scared to that one night Kyouya would wake him from something horrible happening to him.  
"Nothing calm down. I didn't want to turn the TV on and wake you with it."  
"Oh; go ahead."

As Kyouya flipped for something decent Tamaki moved closer to him. Both ignored the TV as Kyouya wrapped his arms around Tamaki to hold him as closer as possible.  
"Kyouya?"  
"Yes?"  
"I love you."  
"I love you too." Kyouya tightened his grip around Tamaki as he could tell he was fighting back tears. He gave him props, he had been pretty strong through most of this ordeal. Now it was hard to stay so strong knowing they only had months left. Akito believed he would make it past Christmas but he couldn't promise too long after. As months past he knew both wouldn't be as strong as the month before. One wouldn't as the cancer spread, the other as he watched the one he loved slowly die.  
"What am I going to do without you here with me?"  
"You'll be alright I'm sure. You're not hopeless by yourself."  
"Yes I am, I'll be so lost without you here and what about Emma. I don't know how to raise her right by myself." Tamaki clutched Kyouya's sleep shirt tighter as the tears started to stream steadily down his face. He knew pleading wouldn't make any difference but deep down he prayed it did, that maybe if whatever force ruled them saw how much he didn't want him to die than maybe a miracle would take place.  
"You know leaving you is the last thing I ever wanted to do but I know you'll do alright on your own. And if you can't stand being alone then just remarry. I know you'll find someone. You aren't exactly ugly to look at." He tried to get Tamaki to smile but instead he just watched his own heart break by what he said.  
"There will never be any one like you or even compare to you. You're the best person in the world for me. You're the only one for me. The only one that can treat me as well as you do and I know you're the only one that will take the best care of Emma, that will love her best and be the best thing for her."  
"You know I don't want to leave you and I would give anything to stay but I don't need you selling your soul and destroying any chances of us being together again. I love you and I want to spend this time together with you, for as long as we can. "  
Once Tamaki was able to stop crying they stayed together and watched some movie they had no idea what it was about as they fell asleep. Tamaki fell asleep only thanks to the sound of Kyouya's beating heart in his ear along with his hands around his body holding him close. Kyouya had fallen asleep soon after by just feeling grateful that he had this chance to hold Tamaki.

Both slept in later than they usually did. After the rough night they had they decided to lay in bed a little longer once they woke up, something they never did.  
"I love you Tamaki."  
"I love you too."  
Hearing a gentle knock on the door they figured it was Akito to take Kyouya's daily morning readings.  
"We should just tell him to come in, it is just my brother."  
"Don't be mean he is one being nice enough to stay here instead of some stranger _and_ allowing you to be home instead of a hospital. I'm sure he'd rather be with his wife.  
"Still I like messing with him. It's a brother's rite."  
"You're evil."  
"And you love it. It's what turns you on."  
"Sshhh I don't need everyone to hear that. Don't just give away my secrets like that." Both started laughing as they heard another light knock on their door. Tamaki got out of bed to let them in surprised to see it was a maid.  
"I'm so sorry to disturb you both but, um, Miss Emma is awake and won't let any of us touch her to get her ready for the day."  
"Well I guess that is what I get for calling her my princess. Okay, no problem I'll be right there." Kyouya was up now and joined Tamaki at the door. He was going to see if they had seen Akito but he saw him coming down the hall from his guest bedroom.

Kyouya sat in the chair in Emma's room with Tamaki while they played together. Usually she wanted to play outside which he couldn't really do thanks to his decision to stay upstairs. The weather was getting colder though so she wouldn't be outside for much longer, unless it snowed, but he had time to prepare for that.  
"Daddy look, for you." She stood in front of him holding a putty looking thing crammed into a play dish. Taking it from her she ran back and grabbed more to hand it to him until his hands were full and making her give it to Tamaki. He never would have thought this would make him so happy; he was never big on playing pretend when he was growing up but ever since having Emma he thought it was one of the best things about being a kid.  
"Uncle Acito!" Stopping what she was doing she ran over to him as he entered her room.  
"You're getting better, one day you'll say it perfectly." Lifting her up she started laughing with him.  
"Well I haven't encouraged her much by saying it correctly, at least she closer now." Akito couldn't help but laugh as his baby brother's joke. It was good to see him in higher spirits than most in his position.  
"What has your father been teaching you huh? Has he been teaching you to say all the bad words?"  
"Define 'bad words'." Getting up off his chair he moved towards the door knowing what Akito wanted. It had to be around noon since Akito seemed to vanish most days after he ran his morning tests.  
"I have to help your dad for a little bit but we'll hang out later okay champ?" Placing her back down he sent her back to Tamaki.  
"Akito, my brother or not doesn't give you the right to call my _daughter_ champ."  
"So sorry Kyouya it will never happen again."  
"You're such a smartass. You have no idea how much I hate you."  
Both laughed as they left the room.  
"You sound like my wife."  
"Well we're trying to tell you something."

Tamaki slowly woke up hearing something. His mind told him to wake up completely, it could be Emma. He really hated being a light sleeper, had been his whole life but since he had Emma he was lighter. Now any small sound woke him up. It took an extra second for him to fully realize it wasn't just Emma moving around in her sleep, it was Kyouya. Sitting up he could see he was hurting. Even in the dark he could see his face was tight as he was groaning trying to make it stop. Reaching across from him he turned on the lamp and grabbed his bottles of pills. Moving back he took out how many he needed and reached back to put them back and grab the cup of water Kyouya kept there. Placing Kyouya in his arms he got him to sit up.  
"Here Kyouya open up for me. It's your pills. Let me try to take the pain away." Kyouya's eyes slowly opened to see Tamaki was holding him in his arms. God he hurt so much and he knew as he got worse the pain would get worse. He didn't need his glasses to see Tamaki holding his pain meds, trying to get him to open his mouth. Trying to take them from him Tamaki just moved his hand closer to his mouth.  
"Just open, I've got it." Doing as he was told he swallowed the pills with the water. As he waited for them to work he couldn't help but feel bad that Tamaki had to be inconvenienced. Tamaki kept Kyouya in his arms, holding him close until he started to feel better and sat up.  
"Are you okay?"  
"I think so, I'm sorry I troubled you. Did I wake you up?"  
"Please don't apologize you know I would do anything for you. That's what we do for each other. Apparently it's what married couples do for each other or something, I don't know." Both smiled as Kyouya leaned closer to kiss him. It wasn't much but it was all he could do to show his thanks for taking care of him. Words didn't express his gratitude for Tamaki and the love he clearly showed by doing all he did for him. He was married to the best human being, the most caring. How did someone like him end up with someone like Tamaki? How did he get so lucky? Since he was up and could tell he wasn't going to fall back asleep anytime soon he decided to get up and possibly watch the sunrise. It wasn't the best view for it since they weren't near the ocean but it would do.  
"What are you up to? Are you coming back to bed?"  
"Not at the moment, I'm up now." Taking his time he made it to the loveseat they had by the far window. They added it when they first moved in so they could watch the snow fall or the lighting storms at night. Both found it romantic to just sit together and enjoy the view. "You can join me. I've heard I'm quite comfortable."  
Unable to turn down a request like that Tamaki turned off the lamp and got up to sit next to him. Kyouya was pretty comfy to lean against. Both were asleep long before the sunrise but they were together and that's all that mattered to them. Tamaki's legs laid across Kyouya while Kyouya's head rested against his shoulder.

Kyouya knew his body was getting worse, that the cancer was spreading. He didn't need tests to tell him that. As the end of November neared he knew so did the time with his family and on Earth.  
"Kyouya?" Looking away from the window he saw Tamaki in the doorway to their bedroom. He rarely left Emma alone while Akito had him. He must need something.  
"Fuyumi is on the phone and wants to talk to you. I told her now may not be the best time."  
"Do you know what she wants?" Seeing him just nod he could tell Tamaki tried to have her not bring it up, his birthday. It _was_ something he wasn't really looking forward to this year.  
"Hand me the phone." Might as well get it over with now, avoiding her wouldn't do anything. Tamaki did as he was asked and sat on their bed to wait. He tried to get Fuyumi to understand that Kyouya didn't want to talk about it. He asked him at the beginning of the month just so he knew his thoughts on it. He told Akito what he learned and knew he relayed the message to Fuyumi and the rest of their family. Akito just shook his head at his sister's stubbornness to accept people's decisions. Out of the four of them she was the worst, especially when it came to Kyouya.  
"I get that sis but I would rather not. No, it has nothing to do with that. Look, I don't have to! Fine, god you can't drop it can you! You really need my answer. Fine here is my answer! I would rather not remember my birthday for the simple fact that I was diagnosed that day. Remembering means that I have to be reminded that I'm dying and will soon have to leave my family! Are you happy with that answer!"  
Akito stopped joking about Fuyumi to Tamaki as they heard Kyouya yell at her. Kyouya threw the phone at Tamaki so he could put it back on the charger. Covering his face with his free hand he tried to calm down, he was used to her butting in, always adding her two cents.  
"Akito can you give me a minute alone with him?" Tamaki mouthed over to him in hopes to help Kyouya feel better. There were some things he would never do with his brother present.  
"My phone keeps going off please excuse me a second while I see what they want."  
Once alone Tamaki sat next to Kyouya in the portable hospital bed, he could tell he was upset by Fuyumi and wanted to breakdown. Holding him as close and as well as he could he gave Kyouya that chance to let it all go. He cried many times to and on Kyouya now it was his turn to let Kyouya do the same. For all the nights he cried in Kyouya's arms he never shed a tear for himself.  
"I'm going to die Tamaki. I'm terrified of it but it's still going to happen. I've fought for four years and for what when the end result is still the same. I had been trying so hard to not think about it but she had to remind me. She had to remind that my birthday is coming up and once it's here and then Christmas is in a little over a month. Who knows how much longer I'll have after that." This was the first time he spilled his guts to him and even though it wouldn't change the facts he was still glad he did. Akito walked back in a few minutes later to see Kyouya feeling better.

Kyouya woke up a much earlier than Tamaki for once. He knew why which didn't make it some exciting monumental thing. Today was his birthday; two years ago today he learned he had cancer. Really he shouldn't count today but the day he learned it came back but this was what led to that. Plus, he was thirty this year, no longer a twenty something experimenting with youth. Not that he did that anyway though he would if it meant he could stay here. Since he was up and didn't want to be depressed by the thought of his birthday he watched Tamaki sleep. He was sleeping so peacefully beside him, his hands extended as if looking for him to hold while he slept although he was facing the wrong way. He wondered what his future would hold once he was gone, what Emma's future would look like. Who she would be friends with, who she would date, what she would look like once she was older, would she marry someone that loved her as much as he loved Tamaki? What would her kids look like, would she become a doctor like him or do business in schools and hotels like Tamaki? Maybe follow a completely different route perhaps. Not wanting to stay in bed any longer and think about what he'll never know he decided to get up and go see her. She would probably be getting up soon and he had no problem feeding and getting her dressed. It had been so long since he had, well if felt like forever anyway. Getting halfway down the hall he had to stop, he was starting to hurt again and felt tired. Leaning his back against the wall he waited for it to pass.

Tamaki woke up surprised to be alone in the bed. "Kyouya?" Looking around he was even more surprised to see he was completely alone in the room. Had he not woken up when Akito showed up and decided to do everything elsewhere so they wouldn't disturb him? Quickly changing into something other than his pajamas he went to see where they were.  
"Kyouya! Oh my god, are you alright?" Seeing him sitting against the wall between their room and Emma's he ran over to him. How long had he been like this?  
"God this hurts." His voice was whispery but it didn't look to be just from pain, could he not breathe? He debated what to do first, get Akito, or get him back to bed.  
"I'm fine, just let me be. This will pass."  
"Like hell it will. Don't be stupid. I'm going to get Akito."Standing up he ran down the hall hoping he was up.  
"Am I running that late? Sorry I got caught up talking to the Mrs."  
"I need your help with Kyouya!" Other than sounding urgent he seemed pretty calm, that was a little unexpected he always saw Tamaki as someone who flipped out easily. Walking out of the room with him he saw Kyouya laying on the floor curled up, clear sign he was in pain and something was definitely wrong.  
"How did he get out here?"  
"He walked? I was asleep until a few minutes ago. I thought he was with you."  
It's not that it was a real problem; he hadn't forced Kyouya to stay in bed he just wanted to know so he could help him better.  
Maybe it was just Tamaki's fear to lose but he thought Kyouya was having trouble breathing. They were told Christmas before he got worse; it was too early for this to be happening.  
"Kyouya we're going to move you so I can help you."  
"I'm fine."  
"Stop being stubborn, you huddled up on the hallway floor is not fine. Tamaki can you lift him?" He heard Kyouya wheezing when he tried to talk, so he was having trouble breathing, he knew one test he was running right away.  
"I can, pretty easily too." Getting a better stance he lifted him in his arms surprised but how light he was. He never remembered him to be this bad, how much did he weigh now and how much did he lose?

Akito at times hated being a doctor, now was certainly one of those times. He had been trained to block out certain emotions so it wouldn't get to him and help him perform to his full ability, but this was family. He had to watch and deal with the fact that his baby brother was dying from cancer, cancer he couldn't stop; twice. Their father knew it wouldn't be easy and told him once it was all over he was to take a vacation to help clear his mind. He had the option to no longer be his doctor months ago but he needed to be here. His brother deserved that much, to be with family, not strangers someone recommended for him. He didn't wish this on anybody. At least he didn't have to take him to the hospital to help him. He brought everything he needed here with him, something only his family could do.  
"See I told you." Looking away from what he was hooking up he leaned over to hear Kyouya better. The oxygen mask wasn't really helping to hear past Kyouya's whispers.  
"You told me what?"  
"My birthday is a cursed day, nothing good ever happens on it."  
"Things aren't as bad as you think. You're in bad shape now but it's not what you're thinking."  
"So what is it; liver, lungs, heart? Or maybe just kidney failure?"  
"Your kidney hasn't failed but it's not working as well as it was. You have fluid in your lungs, we both know it's possible when the kidneys don't work the way they should. I told you it could happen eventually since you have only one and as the cancer spread."  
"So much for Christmas huh?"  
"Don't give me that garbage you know just as well as I do that I can clear it up. Get you breathing without help again. Don't forget I am also not afraid to inject you with mood elevators. Now stop talking so much so I can finish and help you."  
"Is it worth it though, really?"  
"I don't want to hear you say that. You have a daughter that wants you here for as long as the fates allow. And seeing as I'm not a father I wouldn't know for sure but I would imagine being here for them would make it worth it." Shutting up he thought about how true Akito's words were. Emma _was _worth everything and then some; he couldn't just give up and die even it that was his only future.

Tamaki walked into their bedroom to see how Kyouya was doing. Seeing the mask and drip Kyouya was hooked up to made him want to break down and cry. The man he truly loved was really dying, god he wasn't strong enough to watch, it was too much to bear.  
"Tamaki."  
Moving closer he waited to see what Kyouya wanted. Akito said he should feel a little better at a time. He was already looking better which was reassuring.  
"So my kidney is still working. It's amazing, just like me."  
"Loser. I have a request."  
"Anything."  
"Remember that dish we had a few years back when we went to France? That chicken with sauce dish?"  
"Poulet a la Grecque?"  
"Yes; I know I said I wanted to forget my birthday but I really want that."  
"Done, I'll tell the chief in a minute and what do you say to that cheesecake with peanut butter marbled in it for later?" He wasn't much for sweets but that did sound really good.  
"Sure."  
Tamaki looked down to see the fist Kyouya was sporting, was he still in pain?  
"Are you hurting, do you need something?"  
"No I feel decent enough, why do I look like I do?" Tamaki's hand wrapped around his fist, oh so that was it. Opening his hand he saw the gold chain Tamaki had given him back in France.  
"Is it horrible I forgot you still wore this?"  
"I had to take it off for Akito but I forgot to ask him to put it back on me." If he wasn't hooked up to things he would have done it himself. Taking it from his hand Tamaki clasp it back around Kyouya's neck. He never thought Kyouya liked it as much as he did. Really thinking about it he realized he always wore it.

"What's this?" Kyouya stood in what he thought was another guest bedroom only it didn't look like it anymore. He was certain he didn't walk downstairs to their dining room, had they brought it up to him then? Emma was sitting in her high chair happy to see him. The room was darkly lit creating an intimate setting.  
"I thought about the fact that it's been too long since we had a date night and Emma has wanted to see you all day." He helped Kyouya sit at the table happy Akito gave the okay for this. He knew Kyouya technically should stay in bed and on oxygen but it was his birthday and exceptions could be made.  
"Thank you Tamaki, I really appreciate it." Before he could get away he brought him closer to kiss those amazing lips to the amazing man he was married to. The three of them sat together and had dinner laughing and joking around. Maybe his birthday was cursed after all, maybe he just never noticed how perfect it really was.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o  
Okay yea so I'm procrastinating some things…well I'm off to work for 7 hours so I plan to start the next chapter. Not the smartest move but whatever works I guess. Please review and leave any thoughts.  
~Femalefighter~


	20. Our Last Moments, May they be Happy Ones

Chapter 20

**Disclaimer- **I own nothing!

That can't be right can it? Can the calendar really be reading December first already? Couldn't time slow down even for a little while?  
"Daddy!" Looking around the bed he saw Emma running in their room, seemed someone was up from her nap.  
"Hello princess, sleep well."  
"Daddy up!" She stood next to him looking up at him on the bed.  
"Up; why does daddy have to get up? You want to play already?"  
"Daddy up!" Seeing Tamaki walking over to help he noticed Emma starting crying when he lifted her up, obviously she didn't like that too much.  
"Well I see who you love more."  
"What do you want Em I'm right here?"  
He couldn't lift her, not if she wanted him up. He should be happy to be out of bed since Akito hadn't gotten all of the fluid out of his lungs yet, it was something he couldn't fix in a few days even if he wasn't sick. Still, he missed having the ability to carry his daughter around.  
"She wants to show you something and have you do something with us."  
Grabbing her father's hand once Tamaki placed her back down she walked with him as he made his way down the hall. Stopping at the door they had their dining room table in he waited for Tamaki to come around and open it for them. Again the room had been moved around. Now though there was a giant Christmas tree in the room which pushed the table over more towards the wall.  
"I know we haven't discussed Christmas yet but I was told the perfect tree was found and so I had it brought over. What do you think, beautiful or what?"  
"Well it's something else." Emma let go of his hand to start running around it with Alice excited for the giant new object in the house. "Oh fantastic, someone has indoor plumbing." Kyouya cracked a smile as his own joke while Tamaki started laughing.  
"Care to help us decorate it? I thought it would be fun to do it ourselves for once instead of the maids."  
"Sure but I'm not sure how well I can."  
"If you want you can hand stuff to us. The box is right there and I think Emma is up to running back and forth." That did sound like a better idea. Sitting he opened the box to see the different decorations they had, he had no idea they had so much just for a tree.

"Here momma." Emma ran back to Tamaki holding another ornament after they got the lights on. He forgot that would probably take two people but Kyouya seemed okay to do it and actually laughed as they worked together to figure out how to get them up.  
"Huh well look at that."  
"What's up Kyouya?" Sneaking out from behind the tree he saw Kyouya looking at something in his hands. Emma was trying to get him to show her.  
"It's the ornament your mother made for us when we first got married."  
"That's funny, I forgot about it too since we've never done this before. Is the one she made for Emma in there too?"  
"Probably." Digging around he found the one they were looking for.  
"Look Emma this one yours; see it has your name on it. Do you want to hang it up?" Picking her up Tamaki brought her over to the front of the tree. "Put it right on there. Put this part here right on the branch. Good girl. Perfect. Don't you think so daddy?" Turning around he realized he wasn't in the chair anymore. Feeling a hand on his back he noticed he was beside them.  
"It's close to perfect but not yet. It's still missing something." Adding the one he was holding, the one they got the year of their wedding, he placed it next to Emma's. "Now it is."

Kyouya rolled over believing he was hearing talking. Who the hell was Tamaki talking to this early in the morning? Sitting up Tamaki must have seen the questioned look on his face as he moved the phone from his mouth and whispered, "My mother."  
"Now?" Seeing the time he realized he slept in later than he had in months, it was a quarter after ten. How did that happen, usually Akito did everything around eight-thirty.  
"Yea I don't know we haven't talked about it yet. Well he's up now so why don't I call you back in a little bit…love you too mother. Talk to you soon." Hanging up he moved closer to Kyouya happy he was finally up. Akito had decided to let him sleep seeing how tired he had been. Both could see the heavy bags under his eyes and neither wanted him to collapse from exhaustion.  
"So what did your mother want? And how did I sleep in so late? Don't tell me I was out cold when Akito came in."  
"No that's not it; he saw how exhausted you looked and how peaceful you looked sleeping so he left you. He said he could just do everything later."  
"Well then why have I been waking up so early all this time? I would have loved to sleep in."  
Tamaki shrugged his shoulders before getting even closer. "My mother called about Christmas. She wanted to know our plans for the day."  
"About that. I know you love having your family over for it but I would rather have it be just us. Maybe have them come after dinner."  
"Sure if you want to do that than I'm fine with it. It will just be the three of us. Do you want to see if your father wants to come over that night as well? I know Akito is going to be with his wife so I don't know if they will do it but your father might."  
"We could ask him, maybe Fuyumi will accept that idea and not hound me like she did for my birthday."  
"I love your sister but she is a little over protective of you."  
"You're telling me."  
Together they stayed in bed a little while longer enjoying each other's company. These moments were hard to forget that they wouldn't last forever. The clock was ticking to the day they would say good-bye and neither were prepared for it. The day they were was the day it all became real and became final.

Kyouya couldn't help but smile at his daughter as he sat on the floor with her between him and Tamaki Christmas morning. Watching her face light up as they helped her open her presents, Christmas was their excuse to spoil her horribly, not that didn't every day, but now they had another reason to, other than she was simply adorable. She was giggling as she handed Alice a giant bone twice her size and watched as her tail spun around in excitement. Seeing the smile on Kyouya's face while he watched Emma's playing with the wrapping paper made Tamaki's smile grow wider. Suddenly remembering what he wanted to do he reached over to hand a giant box over to Kyouya.  
"What's this?"  
"What do you think? Go on and open it. I came across it the other week and I thought how perfect it was for you."  
Reaching over Kyouya grabbed a box for Tamaki as well since it seemed they were doing this now.  
"What's this?"  
"I was looking at something the other week and came across it. It screamed at me that you would love it."  
"But I already have everything I could love right here I have you and Emma what else could I need?"  
"Just open it. Jeez you can be so hard to deal with at times."  
"Together."  
"Okay Tamaki, together than."  
Both looked at the present on their laps. Tamaki's hands quivered at the sight of what Kyouya gave him and he hadn't even opened it all the way.  
"Kyouya…"  
"Take a look inside, I bet you'll like it."  
Opening the cover he flipped through the pages of pictures. It was an album of them.  
"It goes in order from when we first started dating to recent. That's why the covers on all the books are different, so you can tell the difference of what's inside. I came across the giant box you have of pictures in the closet so I organized them all for you."  
"How was I never around to see you doing this? I mean I had at least a thousand pictures in that box."  
"My little secret. Do you like it though?"  
"I love it thank you. One question, why is this one empty?"  
"That is so you can pick up where I left off. I'm sure you'll take much more in the coming years and I'm making sure you don't let them go for as long. Emma is just under two and half years I'm sure you'll have another hundred taken in no time."  
Tamaki fought back tears as he moved close to the incredible person he was married to lips. He stopped just short seeing Kyouya hadn't finished opening the gift he gave him yet.  
"Please finish I want to see if you like it. I came across it and instantly thought of you."  
Seeing Tamaki wasn't going to follow through with his kiss he went back to the large box he was holding on his lap. It wasn't heavy at all, not the way the one he gave Tamaki was.  
'What the…?" It was a giant art supply kit. Tamaki was truly too much.  
"Do you like it? I noticed the ones you were using were low and your sketchbook was basically full. I was hoping that maybe with new tools you could pick it up again. You know I love the things you've made." This time Kyouya moved closer to Tamaki only he made sure he followed through with it.  
"God I love you, much more than I could ever say." Tamaki made sure not to cry and end this moment. Hearing Kyouya's words made his heart skip a beat. He may not have the words but he could feel Kyouya's love for him pouring out. They separated as they felt Emma standing beside them.  
"You want a kiss too, okay then come here my little princess." Tamaki wrapped his arms around her as he kissed her forehead. Kyouya smiled as she laughed at what her mother was doing to her, her laughter was that of an angel, just as her smile was. Yes, he was sure of it now, they would be just fine once he was gone.

Around seven both of their families showed up for a little while. It was nice to spend time with everyone again; they hadn't been all together like this since Emma's birthday. Both were slightly surprised to see Akito and his wife arrive with everyone. They figured they would stay home since he had been here since September. Tamaki noticed Kyouya was talking to Yoshio in the far corner. They looked to be having a normal conversation; Yoshio didn't call too often if he was remembering correctly. Not that it didn't mean it wasn't Kyouya's decision and leaving it to Akito to keep him up to date he just knew Yoshio never called the house much.  
"You're looking well Kyouya, all things considered."  
"I try, it's easier some days than others but I try."  
"And Akito, are you alright with what he's been doing?"  
"I have no complaints. I can imagine this isn't easy on him. He is doing well all the same."  
"That is good to hear. Your brothers have excelled just as you have. I want you to know that. I know I pushed you extremely hard while you were younger but know I am very proud of who've you become and all you have done."  
Kyouya didn't know what to say, this wasn't like the father he knew growing up at all. God this only further proved how bad things looked for him.  
"You seem more at ease with yourself, have you been able to come to terms with what's happening?"  
"I have. I took your advice and made those albums of my time together with Tamaki and Emma. Working on them and seeing his reaction earlier when I gave them to him helped as well. I feel alright leaving him now, that he'll be alright without me and he'll be able to remember our wonderful time together as well as Emma being able to see how much I love her. Even if she doesn't remember me exactly she'll have the opportunity to look back on them. My fear has always been what will happen to Tamaki once I'm gone and I'm sure he'll be a wreck no matter what but he'll have Emma beside him which will help greatly I believe. She is such a blessing for us, she came at the perfect time I'm sure of it."  
Yoshio said little from hearing all of that. He gave more than just props for his youngest child's strength throughout this entire ordeal. He was just like his mother.

New Years Eve they sat together in Emma's room to help her fall asleep. She had a cold, nothing serious but it still bothered her and kept her up. Kyouya couldn't get too close to her for fear of getting sick himself but he found it hard to stay away completely. He sat near the window while Tamaki held her trying to get her comfortable and sleep for the night.  
"Do you know if something is going on with your sister in law?"  
"Which one?"  
"Akito's wife. I noticed she seemed to be acting a little strange at Christmas. It wasn't ashamed or sad or even disappointed. I don't know the right word but I definitely got something from her."  
"No I got the same thing from her. Your right she was acting strange, yet I can't describe it."  
"I hope everything is alright."  
"I'm sure we would have heard something if it was major."  
"I guess so. Well I hope so, I really like her. Now the other one, she scares me a little" Kyouya couldn't disagree with that. With Emma finally falling asleep Tamaki put her down and together they walked to their room. Sitting on the loveseat by the window they watched the fireworks going off, to welcome in the New Year, enjoying the quiet time together.

With the New Year brought the end of what they knew and the beginning of what would be. A beginning they didn't want. Kyouya was finding it harder and harder to leave the bed after Akito did what he had to some mornings. He chose to stop the drugs that were meant to slow the cancer it was barely working anymore anyway but he had to deal with the consequences doing so came with. He wasn't in pain so much as he was tired. On the days he could make it out of bed he still found it incredible difficult to get to Emma's room. When he couldn't get to her she came to him which made him feel a little better to. He feared the day she was scared of him from the wires and any help he was given by machines. He worked at the hospital long enough to know children were terrified of such scenes. On days he was stuck in the smaller, uncomfortable bed he drew away with the kit Tamaki gave him. It was the perfect thing, just like Tamaki, he was the perfect person.

As he fell on the bed he shared with Tamaki to rest for awhile he felt hands, soft hands, Tamaki's hands, gently stroke his face. He loved having that ability, to know Tamaki's touch without even having to open his eyes.  
"I'm bothering you aren't I?"  
"No, you're fine. Where's Emma?"  
"Napping."  
Sitting up he repositioned himself to hold Tamaki so they could rest together.  
"Tamaki I want you to know something. I don't know how long I'll be able to do this, keep you close at night or even be able to get off the bed."  
"I understand and don't worry about me. I don't want you to push yourself just for my sake. If you need to give into your body than do it. I want you to be comfortable, everything else isn't important."  
"I love you. I want you to know that. I truly, with all my heart love you."  
"I love you too,fFor being in my life the day after I moved here and for putting up with me for so long. You're everything I was looking for and then some." They brought their lips together locking them for as long as they were able. Both fell asleep shortly after still resting on each other, taking advantage of this time alone. Kyouya was grateful to Tamaki for letting him go when he was ready, that was one thing he was scared for, dying before Tamaki was ready to lose him. He needed to hear that he would be okay when he passed on, whenever he passed on.

By the end of January Kyouya gave up trying to leave the hospital bed in their bedroom even after Akito did what he had to. His body always hurt and felt weak, he slept as soon as his body was able to relax until the pain became an issue and woke him up. He loved yet felt bad, for Tamaki never left his side for more than a few minutes making sure he was comfortable and still eating and drinking properly. Emma stayed with him as well, the three of them would sit on the little bed to spend the day or she would play in their room when didn't want to sit still. If Tamaki wanted to hold him and cry he didn't show it, he would just smile and create small talk until he would feel even slightly better through that didn't mean he would stop when he did.

Trying to get comfortable, an already impossible feat, he felt Tamaki wrap his arms around him.  
"Your medication doesn't seem to be helping you as well anymore."  
"I am completely unlucky. My body stops responding to anything after a while."  
"Seriously or are you joking?"  
"Joking but it certainly feels that way." Moaning he tried to shift his body hoping to alleviate some of the pain. He knew what his only real option was if he told Akito and that wasn't what he wanted at this moment, perhaps in the morning he would. Tamaki stayed up most of the night with him hoping something would work so Kyouya could rest. When morning finally came Tamaki stepped out to check on Emma while Akito did his normal routine. He knew what was coming when he got back, his time was running short, they wouldn't have much time together.  
"Tamaki I know you're busy but can I talk to you for a minute?" Lowering Emma to hold her at his hip he saw Akito at her door.  
"Sure it's not a problem." Placing Emma on the floor he knelt down to get her to try and understand what he was saying. "I'll be right back Emma, can you play by yourself while momma's gone and then we'll play when I get back alright?" Pushing her gently towards her toys he stood back up to follow Akito.  
"I want to discuss an option with Kyouya but I want you to understand what it means as well." Walking into their bedroom his heart shattered as he heard his moaning, he was still in pain. How he wished he could take it all away from him, let him relax for once. Going next to him he took his hand and held it tightly trying to comfort him the best he could.  
"Now I know what you felt when you had Emma, I'm sorry." He tried his best to smile at Kyouya's joke, he had such a bad sense of humor.  
"Akito can you do something to help him, anything to help handle the pain he feeling?"  
"That's what I want to discuss. I can do something to make him comfortable but the price is high. Kyouya, you won't be able to fight against it. You're only option left now is morphine. Your body is starting to shut down; I can see it in everything I've done so far this morning. I can make you comfortable with it until the end. I'm sorry. I wish I could do something else for you Kyouya."  
"It's alright Akito you've done all you can, thank you." Tamaki tightened his grip on Kyouya's hand with both of his to bring it to his lips to let him know he understood what this meant and what his own thoughts on it were. He saw Kyouya's eyes on him asking if he was serious.  
"I want to see you comfortable. I hate seeing you in so much pain. Do what you have to."  
"Thank you. Alright Akito I'll do it but before you start I need Tamaki to do me a favor."  
"Anything Kyouya." Whispering his Tamaki's ear he let him go and ran out of the room. Knowing the moment would be private he stepped away to get what he needed ready. He refused to give him enough to kill him but he would allow him to feel better. Morphine really was the last thing he wanted to use but Kyouya's body stopped responding to everything else. He saw in the corner of his eye as Tamaki brought Emma in the room. This was probably the last time she would ever see him alive. All of his training as a doctor could never have prepared him for this, watching as a father said good-bye to his daughter and she didn't even know it.

Kyouya placed Emma on his lap and listened to her talk even though he only understood about a third of it. They sat together for hours just the three of them holding a conversation with her. He could manage the pain a while longer if only for his daughter and their time together. She was his pride and joy and was worth all the pain in the world so long as he got to see her happy and smiling one last time. This was good-bye for them he could feel it but even so he wanted to make it a happy one. To have her last memory of him one with smiles on their faces instead of tears in their eyes. He watched as she moved closer to his chest as she became sleepy, looking at the clock he saw it was just about time for her nap.  
"Emma, before you fall asleep daddy wants you to know that he loves you. I'll always love you even when I'm no longer able to tell you that. I hope nothing but the best befalls on you growing up and you're happy with whoever you become. I will always cherish all the days we spent together and watching you grow up. You're the best daughter any father could ever have and I just want you to know that and never forget it."  
"I love daddy." Wrapping her arms around his chest the best she could she snuggled him.  
"I love you too my princess." He held her close while she fell asleep on him and watched her sleep for a little while before he kissed the top of her head and had Tamaki take her to bring her into her own room. Once she was gone Akito got to work by starting to hook up all he had to do.  
"Are you okay Kyouya, can I help you somehow? I know that couldn't have been easy. Do you want me to give you a minute?"  
"No I'm alright. Waiting won't solve or change anything." Still even as he said it Akito couldn't help but notice he had tears running down his face.

That night Tamaki slept beside him as best as he could, he felt better seeing he wasn't in so much pain anymore. Kyouya deserved peace from all of this; he had gone through enough already. Before he allowed his eyes to close he whispered in his ear how much he truly loved him and how it was okay if he wanted to stop his fight. They would meet again someday. Even if that wasn't in another fifty years it would happen and then they could be together for the rest of eternity.  
"You better still love me when I'm older looking that's all I'm saying."  
Placing his head in Kyouya's chest he cried softly while listening to the steady heart beat and feeling the rise and fall of his chest. He wondered how many more nights he would be able to do this. How much longer did he have to feel Kyouya's warmth or hands wrapped around him to hold him near? "I love you."

For two days Tamaki didn't leave Kyouya's side, he hated leaving even as he spent some time with Emma. His parents had come over along with Kyouya's family to be with him and see how they could help. Since their house had plenty of room for all of them they all planned to stay near and help the best they could. Annie-Sophia watched Emma at times along with Kyouya's sister and sister-in-law, she had no idea that her father was slowly dying just down the hall from her. The night of February nineteenth Tamaki could feel Kyouya's life slipping. It was very likely that he wouldn't it through the night and if he did then by noon tomorrow Tamaki would lose him. It took all he had to stay strong and not cry as they laid together. The conversation between them was slim for it was hard for both of them to speak; they just let the other know they were there and vice versa. Tamaki ran a hand through Kyouya's hair as he watched his husband's sleeping face. Even with the oxygen mask on and the loss of color he thought he was gorgeous. Fighting all this time hadn't caused him to lose his beauty, in fact his skin still shined with his natural glow.  
"Tamaki, why don't you stretch your legs. I'll keep an eye on him. You haven't moved for hours."  
Taking his eyes off the one he loved for a second he looked behind him at Akito before looking back.  
"I'm alright. I just want to stay right here for now."  
"I understand."  
"Akito, I just want to say thank yo." He stopped as Kyouya started coughing, gasping for air. The heart monitor showed an increase in speed, it was having trouble keeping up to the demand his body was placing on it. Akito moved around to the other side of the bed to find out exactly what was going on. Tamaki stood up but refused to let go of his hand and head.  
"I'm right here Kyouya it will be alright." Taking a glance at Akito he could tell it wouldn't be, soon, it would all be over soon.  
"Tamaki…"  
"Sshh don't say anything I'm right here and not going anywhere don't worry."  
"No, listen to me. Thank you, Tamaki, for everything. I loved getting to spend the time we had together with you. It's made me, happy."  
"Sshh don't do this. I know. I know, don't force yourself to tell me." Seeing him struggling to breathe and watching Kyouya's love for him fighting the pain in his eyes got to him, he couldn't stay strong. The one he loved was dying, their time was up. Holding his hand closer he couldn't stop the tears from falling. He didn't want to say good-bye to him.  
"Tamaki can you do me a favor? Can you smile for me? You weren't meant to frown."  
"I can't, it's too hard, ask something else of me." Neither were aware that their families stepped in the room, no one had fallen asleep in case something happened. The maids and housekeepers stayed outside of the room sending their thoughts and love from there not wanted to bother them.  
"Please, for me. I want to see the smile I fell in love with one more time. I don't want to leave you seeing you so sad."  
"I can't, I can't smile knowing I'm going to lose you forever." More tears fell down his face as he could feel Kyouya fading fast.  
"Not forever, we'll meet again. And I'll still love you, even if your old looking I promise. Now please smile for me."  
Shaking his head no he closed his eyes to concentrate on getting his face to allow himself to smile. He wanted to let Kyouya go happy, he deserved to die happy. Opening his eyes he smiled at him, he flashed the same smile he showed to him when they first met all those years ago in their middle school. He may have still been crying but he had a smile on his face. Kyouya cracked his own smile as he saw Tamaki's.  
"Thank you for that. Please tell Emma I love her will you. And I love you. You'll be okay I'm sure of it."  
"I will tell her. I love you too." Leaning over he took the oxygen mask off Kyouya's face to kiss him with all the love he felt for him one last time. Kyouya could taste Tamaki's salty tears on his lips grateful he got to die this way, kissing his true love, feeling their love throughout him as his heart stopped. Tamaki didn't stop as he heard the heart monitor start beeping signally the heart was slowly to critical levels. As he heard it flat line, his tears flooded from his eyes as he moved to kiss Kyouya's neck. Everyone in the room fell silent even managing to silence their tears as they saw Kyouya's last breathes and Tamaki's tears for the one he loved. The maids held onto each other as they cried over the death of their employer, to them he was family, this wasn't just a job and the house would never be the same without him. Tamaki's tears peaked as the final dam broke and flooded his eyes as he stood up. His heart may be shattered and forever incomplete without his other half, without his best friend but at least Kyouya was at peace now. That was worth all the pain he felt, his love deserved to feel peace at least.  
"I'm going to call it now. Time of death is seven twelve am on February twentieth." Akito walked over to the chart to mark it before seeing his father and family. That was it, his baby brother had passed away today from cancer that he failed to stop, their family would never be the same, whole, neither would the family his brother created with Tamaki. He was grateful to feel his wife's arms around him, watching his brother slowly die these past months had done a number on him, feeling so helpless as he couldn't do anything. "You did all you could for him and we all know he was grateful to you for it."

Feeling a hand on his arm Tamaki saw his mother beside him. Moving, he cried on her shoulder in hopes to stop the pain in his heart. Pain he knew would never stop no matter how much time passed. Time couldn't bring back what he lost.  
"Look Tamaki, he died peaceful, happy almost. You did that for him." Lifting his head he looked to see she was right, he looked happy.  
"I can't believe he is really gone, I knew it was coming but he was still here."

"Tamaki, Kyouya had arrangements made correct? If you tell me where he kept them I'll contact them about setting up his wake." Yuzuru stood beside him with Yoshio, both willing to do what they could for their sons and sons-in-law. Moving away from his mother he walked over to his nightstand and pulled out the folder Kyouya kept all his arrangements and wishes for his funeral.  
"This should be everything." Yoshio opened it to see how everything was laid out before walking out with Yuzuru to use the office downstairs. Hearing Emma start to stir in her room a couple maids quickly went to her before Tamaki heard her. They didn't want him to have to worry about any more than he had to right now.  
"Can I be left alone for a few minutes?" He needed a moment alone with Kyouya before they came to take him away. Everyone left in the room slowly walked out. Fuyumi was led out by her brothers as he eyes were too blurry to safely walk out on her own. Annie-Sophia closed the door behind her to give her son the time he needed. Even though he knew this was coming she knew you couldn't be ready for it or make it easier when it happened.

Walking back over to Kyouya he took his hand one last time and placed his head on his chest knowing he wouldn't hear his heartbeat. Staying this way he cried until there was a knock on the door telling him that the people were here from where the wake was being held to prepare Kyouya for tonight. It took a minute for a sound to come out of his mouth but when he did let them enter and he forced his hand to let go of Kyouya's.  
"I love you Kyouya. Please watch over us. I'll be waiting for the day I get to see and be with you again."

0o0o0o0o0

So I cried and got teary eyed though out the ending the chapter. So if proof reading isn't as great as it should be you know why. Please review and I'll work on the next chapter tomorrow.  
~Femalefighter~ 


	21. Goodbye My Love, I Will Always Love You

Chapter 21

**Disclaimer-**I Own Nothing!

This one's for you and me, living out our dreams  
We're all right where we should be  
Lift my arms out wide I open my eyes  
And now all I wanna see  
Is a sky full of lighters  
A sky full of lighters  
~Lighters; Bad Meets Evil~

Tamaki stood in front of his mirror trying to finally get his tie on. He knew he would be a wreck but he never imagined he would be this bad. He had known this day was coming. Just before, he stood in the shower and cried as the water ran over him and now while he hadn't cried since he could tell he wanted too.  
"Tamaki dear it's your mother is it alright to enter?"  
Inviting her in he noticed Emma was with her. That's right she had volunteered to get her ready for tonight. They met him at the mirror and he could tell Emma was looking for Kyouya knowing he had been here the last time she saw him.  
"Is this alright for her Tamaki?" Taking her from his mother he was felt his body satisfied to have Emma in his arms right now though he knew what was coming as she twisted in his arms trying to see if she could find him.  
"Daddy?"  
"I know princess, I know."  
"Whenever you're ready Tamaki we're all ready to head over." Nodding he tried to just breathe and let the desire to cry pass. He was not looking forward to this. "Oh sweetie your tie is crooked?"  
"Not again. Can you take Emma for me?"  
"I've got it just move you arm."  
"Mother I've got it. You don't need to treat me like a child."  
"You have Emma my hands are free so I'll do it for you." Not going to fight with him she moved his arm and redid his tie. As they walked out of the bedroom Emma squirmed trying to get out of Tamaki's arms. He preferred carrying her down the stairs but he didn't have to so long as she held his hand to make sure she didn't fall.  
"Emma come back here." Once on the ground she ran down the hall to her room, ran out empty handed and continued further down where their dining room table was. She was looking for Kyouya in the places she knew he had been with her. Tamaki met her outside the door as he knew she was getting ready to run back down the hall to his room. Before she got past him Tamaki grabbed her to hold her in his arms, he wasn't up to this right now. She started crying trying to get out of his arms again. His parents stood by the stairs knowing there was nothing they could do to help him right now, knowing their granddaughter had no clue as to what was going on and why she couldn't find her father was heartbreaking.  
"Please don't do this Emma, momma is asking nicely for you to please just stay by me. I know you want to see daddy, we both do trust me but he isn't here."  
"Daddy! I wanna see daddy!"  
Tamaki held her close trying to get her to stop crying. He hated watching her like this knowing there was nothing he could do no matter how much he wanted to."  
"I know you do, mommy knows you do.'"  
"Where is daddy?"  
"He isn't here anymore princess, that's where we are going. To see him one last time. So you can tell him how much you love him one last time."  
"Momma?" She brought her hand to his face as a few tears fell.  
"I know Emma you don't understand any of this." Wiping his eyes he walked over to his parents to head downstairs. It felt strange to be down here again, he had been upstairs these past few months to stay by Kyouya side, everything felt foreign to him now.

"Mother do you mind watching Emma for me. I would just like a minute before everyone arrives."  
"Sure dear go right ahead." Taking Emma from him he walked into the only temple in the area that held no religion with it. Kyouya said he felt no desire to hold it in a Buddhist one when he was mad at any higher power for not listening to his one and only prayer or wish, or whatever it was called; to stay alive for his family. Plus, he never saw Kyouya as a religious person. Kneeling in front of the memorial he debated taking one last look at the one he loved. It wasn't hard at all but he knew if he did he would lose it and he should stay a little tougher figuring it would be a long night. Still, seeing the picture that was chosen and how perfect it was to represent him he felt another defense crumble.  
"Your daughter has been looking for you since she got up and came into our room. It's only been a few hours since you left us and you know what, it's been really hard without you. I know you're at peace and I'm not saying I'm not glad for you but I really miss you. After all your suffering you deserve to be okay but I feel so lost without you. And Emma, she was been running all over looking for you and I don't know how to get her to understand that you're never coming home again. I don't know how I can handle seeing her do this; to be honest I don't know how to do anything anymore." The more he let his guts spill the more defenses fell before he was in tears again. "I know this day was coming I know you told me I would be alright but I'm not. Nothing could have prepared me for this day, I was never and still not ready for it. I can't even turn to someone to cry on their shoulder because you were that person to me. Oh Kyouya what am I going to do now?"

Tamaki slid the door outside open to see Kyouya's family arriving. It looked like it was time for the wake to start. Taking Emma's hand he kept her close as they all walked in together, somehow he would figure out a way to get through this.  
"Emma come be with grandma and grandpa for a moment please." Tamaki released her hand to let her go to them curious as to why they wanted her. As she walked over to her he could tell she was lost by this place and looking for Kyouya. How he wished he could close his eyes and make it all go away.  
"Here Emma, see how grandma is, can you do that too?"  
Seeing she was kneeling she copied, though Annie-Sophia could tell she looked lost. She could only imagine how hard this was going to be on her, she wasn't even three yet and barely able to speak sentences where she could be understood and she had to attend the wake of her father. They were asking her to say good-bye the best she could. "Good girl, now can you say something good about your father. Why you loved him"  
"I love daddy!"  
"I know you do sweetie. Now tell him why you love him so much."  
"Daddy?" Perking her head up she looked around trying to find him. She was definitely smart by knowing her grandmother was talking about her father though she didn't completely understand what she was saying. Having her face forward she put her hands together. "Now say why you love him, so he knows."  
Tamaki knelt down next to Emma forcing himself to at least half smile at her so should could hopefully understand and do it herself in her own words.  
"Go ahead princess, I know daddy is listening. You may not see him but he sees you." He could have told her that he was right in front of her but she wouldn't understand that all the way and he wouldn't be able to handle it if she tried to "find" him. "Watch momma Emma." Taking a deep breath he ignored the fact that he wanted to cry again. "Kyouya, you were the best thing to ever happen to me. I am beyond lucky that you were the first person I really met when I moved to Japan. The house won't ever be the same without you there but I know you'll be watching over us and keeping me out of trouble." Exhaling he opened his eyes and looked over at Emma who was staring up at him not one hundred percent sure what he did. "See Emma, like that. Now you try."  
Putting her hands together again she faced front.  
"Daddy played with me, daddy napped with me in his room and told me not to tell mommy, daddy lots of fun, I want to play with daddy soon." Tamaki wrapped his hands around her as she looked over at him,  
"Oh Emma." He couldn't tell her he was never coming back even if she understood what that meant he didn't have the heart to tell her. One of them endlessly crying was enough. Standing up he held her close to his chest as he walked off to the side. His parents got up soon shortly after giving Kyouya's family some time to themselves to say good-bye as well.  
"Momma crying?"  
"Yes Emma, momma's crying."

Tamaki kept Emma close as people started showing up. Most he knew but didn't know. He met them once or twice at events he attended with Kyouya for the hospital or funding events. A few of the doctors he knew from being their patient once or twice. He could always tell when Emma became scared, he would feel his pant leg bunch and her hands grip it tighter as she hid behind him.  
"She is such a cutie and looks so much like her father. How old is she now?"  
"Two and a half."  
"Oh so young, how tragic to lose her father at such a young age."  
"Yes it is." Tamaki couldn't do this; he didn't need to be reminded that his daughter just lost her father while still so young. Didn't people get that they weren't helping? Once they left and he had a second before more people walked over he knelt down to see how Emma was doing. She was being really quiet for everything that was going on around her. He had asked her too earlier but that didn't mean she was going to.  
"Are you alright Emma? Want Momma to pick you up?"  
Losing her attention to a shadow he gathered his remaining strength to hear what he had been hearing all night.  
"Haruhi."  
"Hello senpai, I apologize for taking so long to see you but we were stuck in the line of people."  
"We?" Looking past her he saw the former host club and Ranka with her. She had no idea how happy he was to see them all right now. Standing up he threw his arms around her, it was great to see someone he knew.

While Tamaki spoke with the others he noticed Emma released his leg as Haruhi knelt down to talk to her. When the group walked away to the memorial and Kyouya's family Ranka stepped closer and put a hand on his shoulder.  
"How are you doing?"  
"How did you do it sir? I feel so lost and I can barely look at Emma without crying. She looks so much like him."  
"I know exactly what you're going through. I had the same trouble when Kotoko passed away. I want you to know that if you ever need to talk feel free to call me. Haruhi offers her services to you for Emma as well. We know she is too young now to understand but if she get s older and needs to talk to someone who's been there Haruhi wants one of you to call her."  
"Thank you so much sir, it truly means a lot to me."  
"Please, you don't have to be so formal with me Tamaki I've known you for years and besides I was fond of Kyouya so of course I want to help his family any way I can."  
Tamaki got a corner of his lip to turn upward from Ranka's attempt to help him. Still though, tears threatened to flood his eyes again.  
"Can you step out; you look like you could use a breather. I'll bet you've been hit with, "she is so young", at least a dozen times by now. My favorite was always the, "it's so tragic for a child to lose her mother so young."  
"I'm sure I can sneak out for a minute." He was glad someone understood what he was going through right now. He didn't feel so alone. He may have been surrounded by family but none of them had gone through this, maybe's Kyouya's family but he was never actually told what happened to Kyouya's mother. Seeing Emma had walked over with Haruhi he slid over to Akito since he was closest.  
"I need to step out for a minute. Do you mind keeping an eye on Emma? She is with a friend of mine so she should be okay."  
"Go ahead, I'll keep an eye on her."  
"Thanks a lot."

Stepping out Tamaki took a deep breath allowing the cold night air to hit his lungs. With so many people inside the temple he forgot it was the middle of February.  
"Sir, I mean Ranka, I need to ask how you did you do it? How did you handle watching you wife reach the final stages, those last days?"  
"It was rough, I'm not sure I know how I did it exactly. I know I cried when I wasn't with her and found a way not to when I was. I believe I did it because I wanted to see her at ease. Some days I wanted nothing more than to take her hand and cry over the fact that I was losing her but I couldn't handle watching her struggle. I couldn't watch her suffer anymore."  
"So it wasn't just me that felt I losing my mind over watching him."  
"I'm sure it's pretty standard."  
Even though he was cold standing outside he was glad he talked to Ranka for a little bit. He wasn't sure how long he would feel like everything would be okay but he would take it for now.  
"I know this will sound strange but I was wondering if you could pass a message along to Haruhi in case I don't see her again tonight. I would like her, with the rest of the gang, at the service tomorrow. She was part of our family back in high school and,"  
"I'll have her know and I'm sure she'll have the twins pick her up."  
"Thank you, you're welcome to join her as well, though I know you're busy and it's not really a good get together. Actually I want you thank you for coming knowing you're probably missing work."  
"I told you I was fond of Kyouya. It was only right I come pay my respects to him." Ranka went wide eyed as Tamaki burst out into tears. Wrapping an arm around him he allowed him to cry on his shoulder.

They walked back in to see Emma with Fuyumi who hadn't stopped crying since she showed up. He could see Yoshio trying to get her to control herself, even at a wake Yoshio was still Yoshio. Though she really was a mess, Tamaki was proud that wasn't him. No one saw the outburst he had outside so no one knew about it other than Ranka and he figured he wouldn't say anything.  
"Momma." Feeling a tug on his pant leg he bent down to pick Emma up. He could tell she was getting tired from being here and he was proud of her for being so good during the wake.  
"Momma. I sleepy."  
"I know you are princess, we'll go home in a little while momma promises." He had her snuggle him better in case she wanted to fall asleep.  
"In, momma."  
"What Emma?" Looking over at where his daughter was pointing he saw Rin and the other housekeepers entering the temple. He guessed it wasn't a total surprised they showed up, he never told them that they couldn't leave the house.  
"Stay with me Emma she'll come here I'm sure."  
Feeling her wanting to run over at the familiar face he held her tighter so she wouldn't run off. She was bouncing when they finally made it over to her. They didn't say much or stay long but he felt so honored by their presence. He could see the sadness in their eyes meaning they had no problem working for them. That was always his fear, that the staff didn't know how much he, no, both of them appreciated all they did.

As the wake come to an end and everyone beside family left Tamaki felt unsure about going home. It would beat here sure but the house would be so quiet without Kyouya. He didn't want to think about how big and lonely their bed would be without him.  
"Ready to go home princess?" He could tell she was practically falling asleep in his arms, hopefully she would actually go to bed once they got home.  
"Tamaki are you sure you want to go home? Why not spend the night at your father's and then tomorrow we can all head to the funeral together."  
"It's alright mother I would rather be home."  
"Are you sure Tamaki you know just because you knew this day would come doesn't mean you have to be alone."  
"I know but I'm alright really. And besides I think Emma would rather just go home. We'll see you tomorrow."  
"Well alright but don't hesitate if you change your mind."  
Parting ways Tamaki strapped Emma in their waiting car to go home. There was no point putting it off nothing would change by waiting.

By the time Tamaki could get to his room he was done, drained by the extremely long day. Emma, though tired refused to go to bed without Kyouya there to bed her to bed as well. How could he get her to understand that he couldn't? Watching her cry over not getting to see her father was unbearable and the more she fought with him the more he could feel himself losing it.  
"I know you want your father but he isn't here anymore! He isn't coming back Emma so please stop fighting me!" She stopped to cry over him yelling at her, he realized what he did and held her close until she fall asleep. "Momma is sorry Emma. I didn't mean to yell."  
Getting to his room he stopped in the doorway, all the medical equipment was gone. Akito must have had someone take it out during the wake. It had been here for so long that now the room felt empty. Without it the silence was deafening and it made it seem like he had never been here. Was this how it started? Was this how he moved on, by acting like Kyouya hadn't been in this room for months; that he hadn't died only this morning? Is this what would lead to loss of remembering his voice, his smile, his touch? No, anything but tha,t he couldn't, no, he didn't want that to happen. He needed his memory to stay strong forever. With shaking hands he moved into the bedroom further undressing out of his suit. Unable to see he collapsed on the bed to let the tears soak the sheet uncaring that he was only in his boxers. He was terrified over the thought that he would forget anything about the one he loved for so long,  
"Oh god Kyouya, why did you have to die?"

Tamaki woke up at the first rays of sun hitting his eyes. He felt exhausted as if he didn't sleep at all last night though he remembered basically crying himself to sleep. Sitting up he just sat in bed already feeling that today was going to be longer than yesterday. Looking over at the empty spot on the bed he leaned over grabbing Kyouya's pillow, holding it close. Maybe it was just his mind already being lost to his grief but he smelt Kyouya's favorite shampoo. Holding it tighter he closed his eyes and allowed his mind to believe that was Kyouya he felt in his arms as he dozed back off for another couple of hours.

Tamaki sat in the kitchen feeling defeated as he tried to get Emma to eat breakfast.  
"You're not still mad at mommy are you? I'm really sorry I yelled at you Emma. Please eat. Look its cinnamon pancakes, you love cinnamon pancakes. If your waiting for daddy than please try to understand that he doesn't live here anymore. He is somewhere where we can't get to and he will never be coming back. From now on it's just us princess and momma promises to make it all work out somehow." Trying again he got her to eat helping him relax though she seemed sad. She obviously didn't understand completely and wanted Kyouya.  
"Emma there is one more thing momma needs your help with. Momma needs you to stay near me later and keep your voice low okay? Can you do that for momma?"  
"Okay momma." Finishing up she allowed Tamaki to pick her up and get her dressed for the funeral. He wondered if she hadn't had a bad dream or something last night and he never heard her from being so out of it.

Arriving for the funeral Tamaki noticed their friends weren't here yet. He really hoped they showed up Kyouya would really love them all together one last time.  
"Uncle Acito!" Moving her hands away from Tamaki she reached out to go to him.  
"Well hello there Emma it's good to see you too."  
"Remember what momma said before okay, low voice."  
Since Akito was near him he wanted to let him know something, something he should have known all along. "You didn't have to keep it a secret, he would have been happy for you." Seeing Tamaki was looking over at his wife he just nodded.  
"I couldn't do that to him. He is my brother and I couldn't give him what he wanted most. I couldn't tell him that I was going to get it instead. We both know all he wanted was be with you and Emma. I couldn't have told him that I would get to spend my life with my wife and child while he never could."  
"Well congratulations all the same, I'm sure you're excited and I know he would have been to for you."  
"Thank you Tamaki." He meant it for everything as well; he found out right before he went to stay with them and chose then not to say anything. Seeing how much his baby brother loved his family made it impossible to bring it up, to talk about the upcoming growth in his while knowing he would get chances Kyouya never would.

No one wanted to say how horrible Tamaki looked; this had to be the hardest on him. Sure they lost a brother and son but he lost a husband and a father to their child who couldn't understand why she couldn't see him anymore.  
"Are you all okay with seeing him one last time before they start?" Tamaki looked over at Kyouya's family, nodding they all decided leaving only the question of what to do with Emma.  
"She can stay with me. I don't mind watching her."  
Turning they saw Ranka walking up with the others.  
"Are you sure?"  
"Of course, as long as Emma is okay with it that is."  
"Why don't you go in first sir, I know he is grateful for all your help both yesterday and today." Leaving Emma with Akito Tamaki walked in with Ranka at his request.  
"He looks happy."  
"Yes he does and I'm so relieved. Happiness is all I ever wanted from him, from the start of it all."  
"You made him very happy in his final moments you should always remember that. You did for him what no one else could."  
"I guess your right I never thought of it that way." Thinking about their final moments his lips tingled thinking about their final kiss. When Ranka walked out and everyone else come in Tamaki noticed they were all the families Kyouya was leaving behind. The one from his childhood, the one forced upon him, and the one he created, were all together, who would have guessed the shadow king was such a family man. Feeling a hand grab his he noticed it was Haruhi as Hikaru had an arm around her while holding Kaoru's hand. She smiled up at him while her eyes glistened with tears. He was sure of it now, they would all get through this, it would be rough at times but they were a family and family stuck together.  
_*Good-bye Kyouya I love you. Please watch over Emma; maybe visit her in her dreams. You know mine will always be waiting for you.*  
_"Tamaki, I need to ask something of you." Blinking to clear his eyes he noticed Yoshio had walked over, for once his face didn't seem only serious. "I would like to spread half of his ashes on the family grave. I am well aware my son had given you the right to them and I will not over step that. All of his ancestors as well as his mother are there and that is why I ask."  
"Its fine sir we had discussed it at one point but I believe he was leaving it up to you. That's why he never changed any of the paperwork."  
"Thank you Tamaki."  
'Of course sir. Please never forget he doesn't blame you, he is grateful that you and Akito did all you could, what your whole family did for him and us," he nodded towards the door where Emma was outside, "giving us the most time possible with him. From all of us, thank you."  
Saying their last good-bye to their friend and family member they walked out, Tamaki was behind them all taking one final look at his loves face before leaving.

Emma was held tighter in Tamaki's arms as the smoke started to rise from the chimney. It had started then, he could feel he hole Kyouya's death caused in his heart start to increase. Everyone around him watched with tears in their eyes. The realization of how real what was happening hit them. Kyouya was really gone and never coming back. At only thirty he was taken from them and this world that still had so much to offer him. Haruhi grabbed her father's hand as the memories of this scene came back. She had only been five at the time but that day stayed on her mind throughout the years. Her heart went out to Emma for having to go through it as well. She looked over at them as she heard Emma talk to Tamaki.  
"Mommy?"  
"It's alright Emma, we'll be alright. Somehow we'll be okay momma promises."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0  
Sorry this took so long to get up. It was really busy at work from the hurricane, though I wasn't really hit with anything other than rain. But the u-scans I usually work and do my writing on busted the Sunday after and I wasn't on them so my writing stopped. Not to mention I have a lot of shit going on here and haven't been up to working on it. I hope it doesn't take so long for the next chapter but with so much going on and up in the air here I can only see with you guys. Please review for you know I love them and as long as they don't flame me they make me very happy. Thanks again.  
~Femalefighter~


	22. Moving On

Chapter 22

**Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

This one's for you and me, living out our dreams  
We're all right where we should be  
Lift my arms out wide I open my eyes  
And now all I wanna see  
Is a sky full of lighters  
A sky full of lighters  
~Lighters; Bad Meets Evil~

Tamaki walked down the hall to his office not all that surprised by how strange it felt to be back. It had been months since he did any actual work for the family business, hopefully he wouldn't forget how. Settling in his chair he looked over his desk seeing what, if any, work was here waiting for him. His eyes couldn't help but notice the frames littered across his desk, all of his family. Picking up one of the frames he just stared at the smiles on their faces. All of their faces, this picture had been taken on Emma's second birthday, god they were so happy here. Even Kyouya, his smile shone so brightly it would have been hard to not smile from it.  
"Tamaki, can you step into my office."  
Hearing his father's voice over the phone he put the put the picture back down and got up to see what he wanted.

"What are you doing here?"  
Tamaki stood across from Yuzuru slightly taken aback by the question; shouldn't he be happy to have him back?  
"The funeral was yesterday are you sure you're up to being here? And who is with Emma?"  
"She is with the maids, she has to get used to the idea of being taken care of them anyway. And I'm fine, really. I knew what was coming months ago and I had plenty of time to prepare. I want to be here, I need to get back on track. It's what Kyouya would have wanted. Besides, I feel bad that you pushed back your retirement so I could stay home."  
"I don't want you here because of me I want you here if you're sure you want to be. If you need a few more days off for yourself or to help Emma then take them. You know I had no problem pushing back my retirement for you, I actually enjoy working and I'm still not sure what I'll do once I'm not."  
"You could spend it in France with mother once she goes back. Not that I want her to leave I just know she won't stay in Japan forever."  
"Stop dodging me Tamaki, are you sure you want to be here."  
"I am." Deep down he knew he should really be home but it was extremely hard with memories so strong. The more time he spent out of the house the better. Not to mention that right now he couldn't handle watching Emma search all over the house for her father.  
"Well alright then I'm leaving you in charge for the day, I have to be a school function."  
"Go ahead I've got it in control." Still, he was worried about having Tamaki back in work so soon. Waiting a few minutes he made sure he would be alright before leaving. He saw how strong his son was but if it was just a front then how long would it last before it crumbled? And how much damage would it do when it fell?

Tamaki got straight to work on all he had to do. Throwing himself into it brought back his old flow and helped pass the time. He couldn't believe it was five o'clock already when the secretary told him she was leaving for the day. Gathering his things he looked over everything to see if anything needed to be finished by tomorrow. He accomplished quite a lot today, not bad for a first day back. Filing away what he had to he walked into his father's office to put the others on his desk for tomorrow. One day this would be his; it would be strange not talking to or seeing his father as much once he retired that was for sure.

Finally getting home he walked into the living room to see the TV on some toddler program. With a smile soon taking over his face he thought about sneaking up behind the two that were together, scaring Kyouya was always funny. Getting closer he saw Emma playing with her toys and his mother sat beside her. That's right Kyouya wasn't here anymore, his smile faded from his face as quickly as it came up.  
"Mother? What are you doing here?" Not that he wasn't always happy to see her he was just surprised, he hadn't asked her to come over.  
"Momma!" Emma dropped what she was playing with to stand up and run over to him. Lifting her arms she signaled that she wanted to be picked up.  
"You want momma to pick you up? Come here princess, have fun with grandma today?"  
She started babbling about all she did making it impossible to understand. Just nodding he waited for her to finish before looking back at his mother to figure out the answer to his question.  
"Your father called me this morning and told me you had gone back to work. It's not that I don't trust your staff here sweetheart but I love babysitting my granddaughter. You should have told me your plans sooner, I would have come over."  
"It didn't dawn on me because I wanted her to get used to being watched by the maids here. You aren't going to be able to watch her everyday and when you go back to France she'll have to with them."  
"Maybe so but I'm here now and you should have called."  
"Do you want to stay for dinner?" Since she was over and the fact that he could never turn his mother away he thought it would be best.  
"Oh that's alright dear; I actually need to get home. Your father is waiting for me. I think he made reservations at that new restaurant that just opened up. He insisted we go out tonight for some reason."  
"That sounds nice. I hope you both enjoy it."  
Realizing what she said she internally scolded herself.  
"I'm sorry dear I didn't me to,"  
"It's fine really; I'm fine don't worry about me. Don't feel like you have to censor yourself on my behalf. Let me know how it is. If it's good we'll all have to go one day."  
"Sure sweetie. Well I see you both tomorrow than."  
Saying good-bye to them she walked out of the house leaving Tamaki with Emma. He hoped his parents enjoyed every moment they had together and never took it for granted. Not that he ever took Kyouya for granted but he didn't realize how precious their time was until he had gotten sick and now they would never have time together again.

Heading into the kitchen for dinner he saw only the two place settings, the spot Kyouya always sat at was empty.  
"Momma?" Seeing her mother staring at nothing Emma looked around finding nothing but she could feel he was upset. "Momma for you."  
"Hmm? You're giving momma your dog? How come princess?"  
"Mommy sad; Lucky will help you smile." She shoved the stuffed dog into his side so he could keep it after he put her down.  
"Thank you Emma, he does help. You're so sweet. Speaking of dogs though, where is Alice?' He hadn't seen her since he got home, what trouble was she getting into now? As if she heard him she ran in from the back of the kitchen to slide on the floor near the table. He couldn't believe how big she was already and she still had a lot more to grow before she was full size.  
"Alice!" Emma started laughing as she watched her run around the table. Placing Emma down Tamaki had her sit so they could eat. He had trouble getting her to sit still during dinner but maybe something would work for once. As they sat and ate he couldn't help but look at Kyouya's spot. This was the first time he actually ate without him at the table. Both yesterday and Sunday he skipped breakfast and just munched on this and that throughout the day. Today since he had gone back to work he ate at work and grabbed something on the way in. He probably couldn't do that every day but for now it would be fine.  
"Mommaaaa." Snapping his eyes away from the spot he saw Emma next to him pulling his shirt sleeve.  
"What's wrong Emma, sorry was mommy ignoring you."  
"Help please."  
"What?" Watching her climb back in her chair she tried to push her plate over so he could cut her food on it a little smaller. Had he zoned out that badly that he didn't hear her ask?

Finishing up Emma got off her chair to have Alice go into the other rooms; wanting to keep an eye on them Tamaki got up to follow. He was shocked that Emma actually sat at the table the entire time, Kyouya would be so proud of her. She was running down the hall to their office, he knew where this was leading. One day she would stop he just had to be patient with her. It wasn't her fault that she didn't understand what had happened.  
"Daddy?" She managed to open the door by herself and run in to see if Kyouya was here at the desk. Getting to the door Tamaki heard her start to cry. Was she crying because she couldn't find him? Now that he thought about it had she searched for him all day? He forgot to ask his mother before she left.  
"What's wrong Emma, why are you crying?" Walking in he heard her behind the desk, looked like she fell. "Come here Emma, come to momma. Let me see so I can make it better." It looked as if she tripped on one of the wheels from the chair, she must have been too close to it while she looked for Kyouya.  
"You're alright princess mommy has you." Lifting her in his arms he tried to get her to show him how bad it was. Her leg was scuffed but nothing too serious.  
"You're okay Emma come on let mommy see your smile, please." Trying to get her to stop crying he started to play with her. He needed to leave their office though; it was too soon to be in here. Too many memories of days spent coming home from work and finding Kyouya in here working on something. Together they spent the night until it was time to get her ready for bed. He caught himself looking over at the couch in hopes to catch Kyouya smiling with them. Seeing it empty he always stopped and stared, the thought of knowing Kyouya was never coming back always got to him. The house seemed so empty and quiet without him, even with Emma's laughter.

Getting Emma to bed he walked into his room; his second least favorite room in the house. Well maybe it was the top of that list and the house was his second least. Walking over to his dresser he just stared at the urn. Thanks to the stupid weather everyone recommended waiting before spreading his ashes. Once it stopped snowing for the season he would do it, he felt Kyouya couldn't fully rest yet which bothered him. Even Yoshio wasn't going to do it yet either thanks to the snow fall they kept getting.  
"Soon I promise Kyouya just bare with me. But you know, this room, this house isn't the same, though I told you it never would be." Sitting on the bed he tried to get over how empty and big it was. Even when he laid down he had trouble getting over it and getting comfortable. He hadn't slept well in months, he couldn't sleep while Kyouya was in pain and he couldn't sleep now because he wasn't here. He thought by now he would be used to it but now but he was starting to believe he never would. He senses were too attuned to listening for him or feeling him. His only hope to move past it at this point was waiting for work and being with Emma, exhausting him to the point of just collapsing and falling asleep.

Tamaki stood outside his house with his family. Emma was running around with Alice in the yard. Today was finally a good day to spread Kyouya's ashes. Months ago they talked about what he should do and it was decided that they would go in the yard. He loved his family and that way he could be with them forever, he had already figured Tamaki wouldn't move out of the house after his death for one reason or another so it wouldn't be a problem later on. Knowing he couldn't wait any longer he had Emma go inside with Alice, he was scared of frightening her since she was just starting to stop searching every room in the house for him. She was too young to learn about death.  
"Alright dear their both inside." Annie-Sophia came back from the house to stand beside him. She was proud of him for being so strong these past weeks following the funeral but now he could start to heal and move on since Kyouya could finally rest. She could only imagine how hard it had been for him to have to wait. Kneeling down Tamaki took a key out of his pocket to unlock the box holding the urn; it was safer this way, out of Emma's questioning and curious hands completely. As he finished sprinkling the ashes around the house he burst into tears. Tears he cried every night, alone in his room from being without him. Annie-Sophia wrapped her arms around him to bring him close. He wasn't sure what finally got to him, knowing he was alone or knowing he was finally put to rest and if he was crying out of happiness or sadness. At least now Kyouya's spirit would be forever with them. He would get to watch Emma grow up after all though it wasn't how they planned it at all.

After Tamaki's birthday in April Annie-Sophia flew back to France, she was willing to stay and do what she had to here but Tamaki's convinced her he was fine. She was worried for him, it seemed he not only became overprotective of Emma he also seemed to stay home after work and shut himself in. It wasn't healthy for him or Emma. She could only hope it would end soon, that it was just a phase. Yuzuru made it an occurrence to go over there once a week for dinner and make sure he wasn't about to self destruct. He feared how he would be as their wedding anniversary approached.  
"Grandpa!"  
"There's my beautiful granddaughter. You're getting so big. I swear you grow a little taller every time I see you." Tamaki stood up from the chair he was in to greet him as well and so they could all head into the dining room. He knew why his father came over every week, not that he minded seeing him and how happy it made Emma but he didn't need to be checked up on. They saw each other at work five days a week and it wasn't as if he became someone else when he left.

He knew his wedding anniversary was coming up even without seeing it on the calendar. They chose the day they did because of the cherry blossoms and Kyouya's love for them. They worked with what the specialist said for when they were going to bloom, making the event beautiful, that much more anyway. Staring out the window in his office he could tell it would be soon for them this year knowing his anniversary wasn't far off.  
"Tamaki are you ready to grab lunch?" Yuzuru walked into his office so they could eat something. He noticed he was staring outside, that was rare, usually he focused only on work.  
"What? Oh that yea I'm ready." Grabbing his wallet he stood up so they could leave. Just going to a restaurant down the block they sat and talked while they waited for their food.  
"Father, could you do me a favor next week? Could you watch Emma for me?"  
"I don't see why not but may I ask why? Are you going somewhere?"  
"Well no, not really and I didn't mean for the whole week just that Wednesday and Wednesday night. I would really appreciate just being alone that day."  
"Sure Tamaki I have no problem with her spending the night. Would you like it if I took her Tuesday night so you wouldn't have to worry about it Wednesday?"  
"It's up to you, you're the one doing me the favor."

Knowing he was home alone besides the staff Tamaki stayed in his bedroom and cried. They would have been married seven years today. Those had been the best seven years of his life. Laying a ball on top of the covers he stared at the wedding ring on his finger, it was still as beautiful as the day it was given to him. Around two o'clock he got himself off the bed and dressed to go to his grave. It was a good thing he didn't have to drive himself, not only was he a mess he wasn't too sure how to get there. Kyouya had taken him to his family grave once or twice but that didn't mean he remembered where it was exactly. Kneeling in front of the stone in front of him he couldn't look away from the name. Even now it didn't seem so possible that he was really gone; that the love of his life was dead. He couldn't believe it was really Kyouya's name he was staring at. His fingers ran down the engraving as tears started to fall with it.  
"God I miss you. Two months already and I still can't believe it." Not moving from his spot or position he stayed there for hours crying until he could barely breathe, stopping for a little while and then starting up again. Realizing it was getting late and his stomach was growling he stood up to go. It wasn't surprising he was hungry he hadn't eaten all day. Still, though he had the driver stop at the store so he could pick up something sweet. He hadn't been in the mood for anything like it for some time now but for some reason that was all he wanted. Spending ten minutes in front of the ice cream section he chose one that had chocolate cake pieces and caramel mixed in strawberry ice cream, it sounded super sweet, it was perfect. He had heard it could be used to drown out sorrow and today was the perfect day to test that theory.

Later, after he got home and ate he sat in the living room watching sappy love movies. It probably wasn't the best thing to do right now but he was content to sitting alone, bunched up on the couch eating straight from the pint container of ice cream, crying every so often at the characters getting the change to grow old with the person they loved and wanted to. Something he would never be able to do. He would never tell anyone about what he was doing for it was improper and made him look like a pig but it made him feel better and that was all he wanted right now. He needed the pain in his heart to heal just a little.

Tamaki sat in the dining room working on things for work. He had decided to work as hard as he could so his father could retire in the next year or so even though he hadn't talked about doing so in months. He refused to work in the office though, one so he could watch Emma better, and two because he hated being in there for too long. As he was working on something he could hear her running around. He told her twice already to stop before she got hurt and of course it never lasted long.  
"Momma…momma…mommy, for you…momma."  
"What Emma, what! I'm busy here! For once can't you listen to me!" Stopping in her tracks she threw something on the table and ran out of the room crying.  
"Oh crap. Emma!" Realizing what he just did, yelling at her for no valid reason and making her cry he ran after her. Quickly seeing what she threw down he noticed it was "pictures" she drew for him.  
"Emma, I'm sorry for yelling. Father?" He saw Emma was crying into his father's shoulder while he tried to figure out what wrong as he walked out of the room and into the hallway.  
"What happened, why is she so upset? Obviously she isn't hurt since she ran out of your dining room."  
"Emma, momma is sorry for yelling. I didn't mean to."  
"Emma why don't you go to your play room and grandpa will join you, shortly okay." Just nodding she was put down and ran into her playroom down the hall grabbing Alice's attention as she passed her. Once he was sure she wasn't in the hall still Yuzuru confronted Tamaki about what had been bothering him for awhile now. "What has gotten into you? Ever since Kyouya's passing you've been withdrawn with everything but work. Now you're yelling at Emma for what, being a child? Tamaki you need to get out of this house. I know you don't want to move for the main obvious reason but what is going on isn't healthy for you or Emma!"  
"I'm fine, I messed up just before but we're fine so stop treating me like some child."  
"I'm not treating you like a child I'm treating you as someone I'm concerned about for their well being. You jumped back into work and into life but you never properly mourned. You're my son and I don't want you falling ill. I'm sending you away for as long as you need. Take a vacation, Aruba, Caribbean, or even to your mother's just get away and breath."  
"I don't need to get away I'm fine. Besides you can't force me to go away I'm not a minor you can't tell me what to do!"  
"Not entirely, no, but I'm telling your right now that I don't want you back at work. I'm forcing you to take a vacation which as your employer I still have every right to do."  
"Back off father! I'm fine so leave me alone! My work hasn't suffered from any of this since I've been back!"  
"I'm not negotiating this with you Tamaki. Either take a vacation or find another job!" Knowing his father had him trapped and was serious he dropped his head.  
"Fine I'll get away, I'll probably go visit mother, I have no desire to visit an island."  
"I'll let her know you'll be flying out soon then. You should go pack."  
"Now? I don't even have tickets." Why did he have a feeling his father already booked him for a flight out?  
"Don't worry about that just go pack. Also, Emma will be in my care while you're gone."  
"What! No! I want her with me."  
"She'll be fine at my place Tamaki and you're doing this for you. Time away from her will be good." Hating the idea but knowing nothing would change he turned to go upstairs. He knew his father would take care of her but she was all he had left, he didn't want anything to happen out of his sights. He would do this little trip but the moment he could come back he would.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Please review I'm already working on the next chapter. I hope everyone is enjoying the story. Leave thoughts if you have any. Love you!  
~Femalefighter~


	23. Back in Paris make the memories stop

Chapter 23

**Disclaimer-**I own nothing!

This one's for you and me, living out our dreams  
We're all right where we should be  
Lift my arms out wide I open my eyes  
And now all I wanna see  
Is a sky full of lighters  
A sky full of lighters  
~Lighters; Bad Meets Evil~

This was a stupid idea; he should have just quit his job because taking this "vacation"  
was the last thing he wanted. He didn't like this separation from Emma. In almost three years since she was born this was the first time he left her alone for a long period of time. She didn't seem to like the idea much either when he left her with his father, although she had spent the night over there before but she didn't understand the concept of time yet. At least she would be safe with him, hopefully he wouldn't spoil her too much though, there were certain things he didn't give her for valid reasons. This was also the first time he flew alone since he was fourteen, but, actually, now that he thought about it he had flown with assistants working for his grandmother, meaning this was really the first time he ever flew alone. Not to mention he hadn't actually been in France since he was still pregnant with Emma but it was better than an island where couples flocked for honeymoons and romantic getaways.

"Hello Tamaki dear. I hope your flight went well." Annie-Sophia kissed his cheeks happy to see him again. She had been so worried about him from what Yuzuru had been telling her.  
"Hello mother, thanks for letting me fly out on such short notice."  
"Of course sweetie. Now come, let's get you settled at the house and possibly get you to eat. You look like you've lost weight I hope you've been taking care of yourself."  
"I am, I've just been more active from running around with Emma. I never knew two year olds could run so fast."  
Grabbing his bags he got to the car she got for them and took them to her place. Two weeks with his mother wouldn't be as bad as he was making it sound.

Dropping his bags in his room he just stood there. It seemed even in France the memories of Kyouya were here and just as strong.  
"Damn it." He could feel his eyes watering again, so much for getting away. Before he started full blown crying he turned and practically ran out of the room. Getting downstairs he took his mother's hand to get her up on her feet.  
"Let's go out."  
"Sure Tamaki if you're up to it. Where would you like?"  
"I don't care so long as we go somewhere." He needed to get away from the memories.  
"Oh I know let's go to that bistro near the south park entrance. Remember how your tutor used to take you there all the time for lunch."  
"That's fine; it's perfect, let's go."  
Barely giving her a second to get her coat on they were out the door and heading towards the bistro. The further they were from the house the better.

Staying out as long as they could he took advantage of the distance, he knew it wouldn't last forever but he enjoyed the temporary relief in his heart. It wasn't the same relief work gave him but he would take anything he could get. Once they got home they watched TV for awhile together until Annie-Sophia was fighting to keep her eyes open. Tamaki wasn't ready to go upstairs scared the memories would come back and bring him to tears. Lying across the couch he placed the TV volume a little lower and watched it until he fell asleep.

Annie-Sophia got up the next morning to see Tamaki asleep across the couch. He looked so cute sleeping there, he must have fallen asleep watching TV last night.  
"Sweetie, it's time to wake up." She had no problem letting him go back to bed but an actual bed had to be more comfortable.  
"Morning mother." Sitting up he remembered that he decided to sleep downstairs on the couch to avoid the guest bedroom he once shared with Kyouya.  
"Why don't you go upstairs and get ready for the day. By the time you're done I'll have breakfast ready for us. I want to make you something I learned that I just know you'll love." Figuring she was dying to cook for him he ran upstairs to shower and get dressed. Thinking about it he truly loved her cooking, he didn't believe she learned how until after she moved here. As long as he remembered growing up with her she had always been too weak to cook or do most of the things she did now. Coming back down she was finishing up and it smelt wonderful. She really was an amazing cook, Quiche Lorraine was one of his favorites and it looked hard to make.  
"So Tamaki any plans for today?"  
"Not really, I just want to do anything outside. I can't stay indoors." Thinking about something they could do she thought of the perfect thing.

About mid way through the first week Annie-Sophia noticed Tamaki always slept downstairs on the couch. There had to be a reason for it. She wasn't going to take "it's nothing," as an answer either. Tamaki came here to not only get away for awhile but she also wanted him to talk to her about what was bothering him. About why he did what he did back home, she didn't even mean getting upset with Emma. If he was under a lot of stress or facing certain hardships, financially speaking, she wanted to know so she could help him. She always felt bad making him move to Japan under the horrible terms that were set and she always wanted to make it up to him once they were in contact again. Joining him on the couch as he woke up she decided to start getting her answers. If she waited until later than she may decide to hold off and she wanted to help her son.  
"Tamaki, is there something wrong with the mattress in the guest room? If there is let me know so I can fix it."  
"Oh, no, it's fine. I just find the couch easier to sleep on I guess."  
"Tell me, how have you been sleeping at home?"  
"Alright I guess, why?"  
"Sweetie please don't lie or hide things from me. I want to help you. I may not know the pain you're going through but I want you to know I'm here for you. The reason your father sent you here wasn't to punish you, it was so hopefully you would talk to us. We love you Tamaki and we don't want to lose you." They saw the pain Yoshio faced at the wake. He may not have been full of tears but they could see the pain and heartbreak he was dealing with having to say good-bye to one of his children. No parent should ever have to bury their child.  
"I just miss him mom, I miss him so much. Everything reminds me of him. Everything back home holds his spirit and all the memories of the time we spent together are there." He didn't even try to fight the tears anymore, he stopped trying weeks ago. He had learned it was useless to try for was never strong enough. "I feel awful but I have trouble looking at Emma because she looks so much like him. My own daughter and I cry when I look at her! I am haunted by our memories, of what we still should have. I knew what was coming, I knew I would have to face being alone but I still can't look at couples whether it be in real life or on TV, I can't eat without staring at his spot, I can't lay in bed without feeling how empty and cold it is. Not to mention I can't get comfortable because his arms aren't around me. Emma may have stopped searching the house every five minutes but I'm still looking. I think he is home with her when I get home or when the front door opens and she runs to it thinking it's him I practically run too only to see it isn't and never will be. I can't talk to his family without thinking about him. I try to focus so hard on work because it's the only way I can stop from thinking about him all the time. It's the only peace my mind gets. I can't move even if I wanted to, and I don't. Still, everywhere I go he is there, even here. I am hit with the memories of being here. He told me I would be alright on my own but I'm not and I don't think I ever will be. My heart is in too much pain for me to be. I want him back, I _need_ him back. I don't want to be alone. I want my husband back, I want my best friend back, my daughter desires her father." As the tears fell harder down his face he moved to cry on his mother's shoulder.

After his complete meltdown the other morning Tamaki noticed he felt better. Better than he had in months. His heart still hurt as the hole was still there but his body felt freer. He attempted the guest bedroom that night and once he was past the awkwardness of feeling so much space he fell asleep for the night. In a half hour he was out cold compared to the three hours it normally took, if he actually fell asleep. Still, he was wary about flying back home. He was okay here and not that he didn't miss Emma and want to get back to her but there were more memories there and he couldn't be certain that things wouldn't go back to the way they were. Being with his mother though did seem to help take some of the fear away that he wouldn't find a way to make it work.

Opening the gate to his father's backyard Tamaki already heard Emma's laughter. Hearing her made his smile from being back in Japan widen even further. Before he was even able to close the gate he heard Emma call him.  
"Momma!"  
Turning around he saw her start running towards him smiling.  
"Emma!" Not wanting to wait and knowing he could get to her sooner he started running towards her. He got to her before she could get close to halfway across the yard since his legs were a lot longer than hers.  
"Momma missed you so much!" Even though he called her everyday while he was away it still didn't compare to being able to hold her.  
"Momma home!"  
"Yes Emma momma is home!"  
Yuzuru watched as Tamaki spun around with her. He looked happy, he hadn't spoken to Annie-Sophia since Tamaki left but it looked like it helped. That was all he wanted for him, to know he didn't have to deal with everything on his own.  
"How was your trip?"  
Looking over at him he could see the beaming smile, the one he remember from Tamaki's childhood and his eyes didn't seem so heavy.  
"You were right father, I did need to get away for awhile, but, now I'm back and things are going to be better."  
"Momma never go away again!" She tightened her grip around his neck as she hugged him closer.  
"I'm not going anywhere, momma promises."

Emma stayed close to him even after they got to the house. He wasn't complaining, after not seeing her for two weeks he loved having his daughter close again. That night when she refused to go to bed without being with him he happily accepted her idea to sleep with him. He laid in bed with her snuggling close to his chest before she fell asleep. As he did he couldn't help but smile at her while being so grateful she was here. Fate may have taken the one he loved but it gave him someone else to love just as much.  
"Mommy waited so long for you to come into my life and I know now that you came at the perfect time."  
"I love you mommy." She moved a little closer as she shut her eyes for the night.  
"I love you too Emma." Kissing her forehead he shut of the lamp next to him and fell asleep.

Tamaki watched Emma play with Alice in their backyard while his family started to show up for her third birthday. While it had been strange and a little harder to do all the planning by himself he was happy with how everything turned out. Though as he thought about it he realized he probably didn't have to since she was content to playing with Alice all day. Still it gave everyone an excuse to get together for a day, something they never did otherwise.  
"Hello Tamaki, how have you been?"  
Looking up from his spot on the deck's steps he saw Akito just behind him. Standing he smiled as he greeted him and his wife. Getting to the point where he was able to talk and see Kyouya's family again had a great moment. It made him feel that he had come a long way from where he was only a few months back.  
"I'm glad you could come; Emma will be thrilled to see you both. This must be Natsumi." Peaking into the stroller he saw her looking up at him. He knew she had been born last month but hadn't had a chance to go meet her. "I hope when you're a little older you and your cousin will be close." Since Emma would be an only child he wished for her to be close to any kids in the family so she would have someone to play with outside of friends she made a school. He knew what it was like to grow up without siblings or kids his own age and he didn't want that for her. Playing with her while she stared at him he couldn't help but laugh at the fact that for generations' males had been predominant in the Ootori legacy yet so far there were only females this generation. Akito told him a while back that if he had a son he would name him after Kyouya, in honor of him. Tamaki could tell he was still haunted by his youngest brothers death and even time may not help him, Yoshio probably saw it as well because from what it sounded like Akito wasn't taking on so much work anymore.  
"Uncle Akito!" Looking over at the yard they all saw Emma running over to see him.  
"Emma, happy birthday! And you said my name right, you are such a smart girl."  
Tamaki had spent some time trying to get her to pronounce as many names as she could properly. He knew she still had speech limits for her age but starting now would only help her in the future.  
"Emma, want to meet your baby cousin?" Akito lifted her in his arms to let her see inside the stroller.  
"Baby!"  
"Yes princess that is a baby." Tamaki moved her hair from her face as he couldn't believe she was three already, his baby wasn't really one anymore. Well not when comparing her to Natsumi. Where had all the time gone?

"Momma come play."  
Tamaki felt his shirt being pulled from Emma who was beside him. Finishing up the conversation he was having with Mitsukuni he knelt down to see what she wanted.  
"You want me to play with you? Sure princess what do you want to play?"  
Soon he was chasing her around the yard with the former host club. The others here just watched and laughed. It seems things were going well for Tamaki and Emma. It had only been six months since Kyouya's passing but they seemed to be okay now. They weren't saying they didn't miss him or that some days weren't easier than others but they seemed to be and would continue to be okay. Tamaki stopped to grab a bottle of water and catch his breath, he wasn't out of shape but he had never been so winded. As he chugged the bottle Ranka came up next to him. They talked on occasion but it was hard to get together since they both worked.  
"You are doing better than I did."  
"Believe me it took much to get to this point."  
"I'm sure it did but you and Emma are working together to stay there."  
"I guess you're right. I hope I get the relationship you have with Haruhi. You both are so close to each other and I hope I have that too."  
"Momma! Look mommy Haruhi gave me!" Both saw Emma running over holding something in her hand.  
"It looks like you already do Tamaki." Leaving the two as she ran into his arms to show him a card that played music when opened he knew Tamaki was doing better than he thought.

That night Emma refused to sleep in her own bed. Tamaki didn't think she understood that today was her birthday and he couldn't refuse her but since it was he picked her up and took her to his room. He just placed her down when she basically tucked herself in and got comfortable.  
"You really are a princess aren't you?" Kissing her goodnight he slide beside her and turned the light out so he could go to bed as well. Feeling her moved closer to him he thought he felt her trembling almost beside him. Right she was three and scared of the dark, but, he always thought being with a parent canceled that fear out. He loved her but he wasn't keeping the lamp on or the main ceiling light on all night. If he did than he wouldn't be able to sleep and he had work in the morning.  
"Stay right here Emma Momma will be right back." Turning the lamp back on for her and so he didn't fall over something, which he always seemed to do, he went back into her room and took the night light out to plug it in his room. It wasn't as bright as the lamp so it shouldn't keep him up. It seemed to work as he got back into bed and she didn't seem scared anymore. It had never dawned on him before because she always fell asleep before he turned the light out. As he lay there listening to her breathing gently he fell asleep proud of himself for coming to a solution so quickly.  
"It seems I'm finally getting better with his parenting thing. It only took me three years."  
_"Oh don't give me that you've always done great."_ Snapping up he looked around to find where the voice came from. It sounded so real, like they said it right next to him but he was alone he thought. And that voice, there was no way it could have been him, no that just wasn't possible. But still it sounded so real, his voice was what he always remembered and even now it wasn't as loud as he just heard it.  
"Great, I'm losing my mind."  
Laying back down his eyes wandered the room hoping to hear the voice or a presence.  
"I know you're watching us. I love you. And don't forget to tell Emma Happy Birthday." He closed his eyes as his mind allowed him to hear laughter, laughter from the one he loved.

Lying across the couch Tamaki shut his eyes for a moment. For some reason he was extremely tired after work. It wasn't any busier today than it normally was but right now he was ready for bed. Then again he hadn't been sleeping well for awhile. For some reason he was being haunted by dreams again, an old dream, one he had a few years back and it bothered him as much than as it did now though it didn't make sense now.  
"Momma!"  
He knew it was bad but he really didn't want to open his eyes even though he hadn't seen her since he got home he just walked into the living room to collapse on the couch.  
"Momma wants to rest for a little while Emma."  
He jutted as his eyes popped open from her climbing on him to sit on his stomach.  
"Thanks Emma, that's what momma needed completely."  
"Momma up!"  
"No, no momma up, momma is going to lay here for awhile."  
"Momma up!" She started slapping his chest with her hands in hopes to get him up. Groaning he grabbed her hands hoping she would stop.  
"Five minutes Emma that's all momma wants."  
"Momma up!"  
"Why? Why do I have to get up?"  
She slid off him making him twitch again. Pulling his hand towards her she tried to get him up. Seeing she was never going to stop until he was up he sat up to prepare himself to stand.  
"Okay Emma momma is up what do you want to show me?" Taking his hand she took him down the hall and across the house to the back den.  
"There is a tree in my den, a giant tree in my den."  
"Oh Master Tamaki welcome home. Do you like it?"  
He watched the tree move before a maid popped out from behind. Was it really the Christmas season already? Where was time going, he seemed to always miss so much by just blinking. Maybe that's why he wasn't sleeping, so he wouldn't miss hours from it.  
"It's beautiful. Someone has a great eye for these things."  
"Oh thank you very much sir I'm glad you're happy with it.  
"Emma after dinner we'll decorate it alright." He took her answer as a yes while she jumped up and down in excitement before going to see if dinner was ready

It was strange to be doing it this year especially with Rin's help but he was proud of himself for doing well. He was having fun with Emma, laughing together as they decorated the tree and watched Alice play in the tinsel which made her sparkle even after they untangled her from it. He was doing fine until he pulled out the ball his mother made for them to commemorate their first Christmas together as a married couple. He could feel tears threatening to escape his eyes.  
"Momma?" Emma had run up beside him to see what was next only to see him trying not to cry.  
"Master Tamaki?" Rin saw Emma staring at him, had he gotten hurt somehow.  
"I need to be alone for a minute. Please continue without me."  
Handing the ball to Rin he walked out of the room.  
"Mommy!" She started to run after him only to have Rin stop her.  
"Let's let him be Emma. Your mother needs time to himself right now. Why don't we finish and you can show him your hard work. I'm sure you'll make him smile and feel better. You want your mother to be happy don't you sweetie." Taking Rin's hand they walked back over to the decorations to finish. Finding Emma's first Christmas one it the box she hung it in the front with the one Tamaki handed her nearby. She figured he would like it up but not sure where it should go. Everyone in the house wanted to help him and see him smile. They were trying their absolute best to help Tamaki, especially the first year. They knew it couldn't be easy now being a single parent and seeing the love he had for Kyouya even up to his final breaths.

Tamaki closed the door to the last room he should be in right now, their office. He had been in such a rush to get out of the den, afraid he would burst into tears he didn't realize what room he ran into. Leaning against the door he cried into his hands. Who was he kidding he couldn't do this. Kyouya should still be here, he should be helping them, he should have been here for Christmas and Emma, watching her excitement. Sliding down the door he cried in his knees as he really saw the room he was in, Kyouya's presence still lingered here.  
"Why did you have to die?" It was the same question he always asked himself but he still never received an answer. He knew he never would either for answers that led to peace were never found. Gaining the strength he stood up to walk around the room, his fingers gently went over things on the shelves, all of Kyouya's books as he left them in order of author. Stopping at the corner he saw Kyouya's art supply box. He missed watching him draw at night when he didn't feel like reading or they weren't close watching TV. Stopping at the desk he saw a note laying on top with his name on it. How did he never see it before? Sitting in the chair he opened it up, it was Kyouya's handwriting. He could never forget the beautiful penmanship he had. The letter it's self wasn't sad yet tears still fell from his eyes. It was for him, the letter was for him!  
_*You remember my "secret projects" I never let you see? Who am I kidding of course you do. Well in the locked bottom draw of the desk you'll find them all. The key to the draw is in the filing cabinet in the folder with my insurance statements. The last couple I made for Emma, please give them to her when she is a little older. Remember, I love you Tamaki and you're doing a wonderful job on your own just as I knew you would.  
Love,  
Kyouya*_

Rolling back he debated if he wanted to get the key. Yes, yes he did. Opening the top draw in the filing cabinet he searched for Kyouya's folder. Happy it was marked he searched for the key at the bottom believing it would have fallen down there. Sure enough he was right as he felt the cold metal touch his fingers. Pulling it out he closed the draw before he stared at the statements and walked back over to the desk. Hovering the key over the lock he couldn't decide if he really wanted to do this. No, no he didn't. He had cried enough today and he wasn't up to crying anymore. He didn't want to ruin Kyouya's drawings with his tears. He needed more time before he opened them. Opening the draw under the desk he placed it inside so he wouldn't lose it when it was ready and walked out of the room. One day he would be ready but not now, it was still too soon.

"Momma!...Momma!...Mommy!" Heading down the hall he heard Emma running around downstairs looking for him. She must have finished with the tree.  
"Emma I'm over here."  
"Momma! Come see!" Picking her up once she ran over to him he headed back to the den. As he opened the door he saw the lights flicker on and show the beauty and hard work they had done while he stepped out.  
"Do you like it sir? I believe Emma has quite a skill for decorating, she is such a hard worker."  
"I do, it looks great. You did a great job Emma. Well done!"

"Why don't you and Emma spend Christmas with us this year Tamaki?"  
"Emma is looking forward to Christmas here. I think moving her wouldn't be a good idea. If you and father want your more than welcome to come Christmas eve so your hear Christmas morning." Tamaki sat in the kitchen working on some business figures while watching Emma play next to him and talking to his mother over the phone. He was getting pretty good at this multi-tasking thing.  
"If you insist Tamaki then we'll come over. I just thought your staff would enjoy the time off."  
"Actually they are looking forward to it, the ones that are too far to want to go home anyway are. They have been running around decorating the whole house and planning the menu. I couldn't ruin it for them."  
"Well alright we'll come over than I'll tell your father the plan." Seeing Emma leaning over to pull his shirt he made sure she didn't hang up.  
"Oh hang on I think Emma wants to talk to you." Giving the phone to her he stretched his neck. He found the major flaw in talking on the phone without using his hands. Well since Emma had the phone now he could recover. She loved to talk and his mother loved to listen especially while she was in the country, there was no time difference to deal with. He figured why they wanted him to come over and he appreciated it but he wanted to stay home and the staff here did seem really excited this year. Maybe they had always been though and he was just noticing since for the last few years he had been worried and preoccupied with Kyouya.

0o0o0o0

I'm so sorry for this taking so long! I had hoped to get this story done already for a move back to NY on the 3rd but as you can tell I'm not. Well enough of my babbling and off to work on the next chapter. Please review!  
~Femalefighter~He was


	24. Losing Your Mind

Chapter 24

**Disclaimer-** I own nothing!

This one's for you and me, living out our dreams  
We're all right where we should be  
Lift my arms out wide I open my eyes  
And now all I wanna see  
Is a sky full of lighters  
A sky full of lighters  
~Lighters; Bad Meets Evil~

It was hard, not as hard as he thought but it was difficult to not get misty eyed while watching Emma Christmas morning. He knew she still didn't fully understand the concept of Christmas but watching her face light up over everything made him feel amazing, a feeling Kyouya should be sharing with him. It was nice having his parents over since this was the first Christmas that they were over so early but they couldn't replace Kyouya. The room still felt empty.  
"Momma look! Alice has a bow on her nose!"  
The four of them laughed as she tried to get it off her nose.  
"Come here girl I'll save you." Taking it off her Tamaki made some alterations and attached it to her collar. "There, now she is ready for the day." Having Alice sit next to her, Emma tried to get her to stay near only to watch her keep getting up to explore.

By noon Emma was asleep on the floor holding Alice who she managed to get reindeer antlers on. Annie-Sophia saw them the other day and knew Emma would get a kick out of them for Alice. Seeing the smile on her granddaughters face and the laughter that followed made her positive it was the right decision.  
"You both spoil her horribly. I don't think I'll ever allow her to go to France to be alone with you mother. I'll never get her back if I do."  
"Oh it's my job to. It's a rule all grandparents must follow. Besides, she is much too cute not to spoil." Taking her sweater off her chair she placed it over Emma to keep her warm. She was her only granddaughter and would probably be the only one she would ever have for she didn't see Tamaki adopting or remarrying. It was her duty as the grandmother to protect her and spoil her with love and affection. She had always hoped for grandkids for a few reason and since she was lucky to have one she planned to enjoy her.  
"You know Tamaki you couldn't have asked for a sweeter or prettier child. She is going to break hearts."  
"Well as long as mine isn't one I don't mind." Tamaki knew he was lucky to have her, perfect in every way. He knew that the day she was born and she was finally placed in his arms.

When she woke up Tamaki brought her upstairs to get her dressed for the day, it was only one in the afternoon but whatever. Now was better than never.  
"Momma, this too." Holding a bow in her hand she handed it to him to put in her hair.  
"Okay, let's see if I can." Getting it in was the easy part getting it to stay in wasn't. "Let's go ask grandma for help." Taking her hand they went downstairs to ask Annie-Sophia if she could do it.  
"Sure sweetie I'll do it for you." Having Emma come closer she put it in while Tamaki watched beside her. He was going to have to do a lot of research in the coming years on how to do different hair styles, she had beautiful long hair and he figured she would want things done to it. "There you go, all done."  
"What do you say Emma?"  
"Thank you grandma!"  
"Your welcome hun. Don't you look adorable in that dress."  
Tamaki thought she did too. She got it today from his parents and it fit well on her not to mention it was festive.  
"Emma, want to find out if dinner's ready?" He could smell it from the living room making his breakfast wear off.  
"Okay momma!" Running off she stopped in the doorway running into Rin and another housekeeper to let them know it was all ready for them.

All in all the day went well and was nice, still it felt strange to not have Kyouya joining them. As he laid in bed that night he couldn't help but stare at Kyouya's side. How he missed seeing him there.  
"I hope you're doing well, that you're feeling okay. If you are than the feeling of you not being here is easier to bear with." He knew he wouldn't hear anyone talk back he still found it nice to talk out loud sometimes, let Kyouya know he was thinking about him.  
"Our daughter has gotten so big can you believe it, already three. In two years she'll be starting school. I don't think I'm ready for that yet. If you were still here than in two years we'd probably try to have more kids because I know you told me you hoped Emma would have siblings to play with and I know you hoped for at least one son just so he could carry out your family's name for another generation."

As he laid there his mind thought about last month when they all got together at Yoshio's house for Kyouya's birthday. He had never been happy and sad about a day before, though he figured he was more sad than happy. He was pretty sure everyone had walked into a room alone for a minute to cry, he figured even Yoshio had since he would vanish for a few minutes at times throughout the day. It was rough knowing it was Kyouya's birthday and he wasn't here with them anymore. When they got to the Ootori family grave Fuyumi started crying and he made the mistake of wrapping an arm around her for he started crying along with her. Once she was alright again he lifted Emma up who was besides him curious about all that was taking place and where she was. He was so proud of her and knew Kyouya would be too. With her in his arms he tried to dry his eyes.  
"Can you say Happy Birthday Daddy? Can you tell him that princess?"  
She looked at him slightly confused by his request it looked like.  
"Daddy? Birfday?"  
"Yes princess today is your daddy's birthday. You remember daddy don't you? Please tell momma you do." He watched and exhaled as the light bulb went off for her.  
"Daddy!"  
"Yes princess, see this stone. It holds your father's name. That means he is here with us and can hear us. So why don't you wish him a Happy Birthday in heaven?"  
"Happy Birfday Daddy! I love Daddy!"  
"Good girl Emma. I know he heard you." Holding her tighter and kissing the top of her head he felt a few tears escape his eyes.

He couldn't believe that was a little over a month ago already. Time was going by so fast he felt ready to fall off from its high speed.  
"Momma?"  
"Hearing Emma at his door and trying to enter he jumped out of bed to run over to her making sure she was alright. He put her to bed a few hours ago.  
"Emma? Are you okay? Are you hurt somehow?"  
"I had a bad dream."  
"You're alright princess, your safe now. Come here Emma."  
Taking her hand he led her in the room to his bed where he lifted her up on it. Realizing she just didn't want to be in the same room but near him as well he held her close. Even as he was ready to turn in she was wide awake, she must have had some nightmare.  
"You're safe now Emma, mommy promises. Nothing can harm you while I'm near."  
Saying something she snuggled him closer. He noticed every time she was with him the pain in his heart from losing Kyouya seemed to weaken and he knew it was something only their daughter could do. Only she could fill the warmth this bed missed as well as her hands that made him feel loved and needed. They stayed together for a few hours before Emma was finally able to fall asleep. He was surprised she never talked to him about it but so long as she was able to get to sleep and know he was and always be here for her than everything was alright.  
"Momma loves you Emma, no matter what."

Tamaki woke up the next morning to feel Emma close to him and slight moans leaving her throat. He hated that sound; it was the worst sound along with it carrying such painful memories. It was the sound that meant something was wrong, something could be seriously wrong.  
"Emma, are you alright?" Touching her face he could feel the heat pouring from it. How did he not notice it last night? There was no way a fever could get this bad all of a sudden.  
"Momma. I don't feel good." Waking up she snuggled into his chest trying to feel better.  
"I know Emma. Mommy needs his hands though so I can see how bad you are princess." Finally getting her to let him go he ran into the bathroom to pull out the thermometer and run back to the bed. Barely sitting she went back to snuggling him. "Open up for mommy. Good girl Emma." While he waited for a reading he placed a hand on her forehead again, she was so hot, how could he not have noticed last night. Hearing it start to beep he took it out and tried not to panic at the number. He was no doctor or expert but it being close to 102 wasn't a good thing. He wished Kyouya was here, he would have known what to do right away and probably would have noticed it yesterday. Using his free hand he grabbed the house phone to make a quick phone call.  
"Hello Akito? It's Tamaki. I know it's early but I need advice."

"Look at mommy for a minute Emma." Pulling her attention away from what Akito was getting ready to do he had her look at him. Telling Akito over the phone about her fever he had him bring her to the ER right away. They had to get her fever down and this was the fastest way to do so. He was glad he listened because by the time they got here it was at 102. He felt bad for having her be set up on an IV but it was the best option. This way they could keep her hydrated as well as having fever reducers hooked up. So long as it worked, that was all that truly mattered to him. He was worried about her, if she suffered long term from this. He should have noticed last night; he should have called Akito sooner. She was all he had left, he couldn't lose her. Especially since he was still morning her father. He wouldn't survive more heartbreak, he couldn't lose his daughter.  
"All done Emma, now try to just sit back and relax for your uncle alright. Tamaki just make sure she doesn't try to pull the wire out."  
"Thank you so much Akito."  
Getting comfy on the bed he held her as close as she wanted.  
"We'll keep her monitored for awhile until her fever is lower and make sure it stays down. She'll probably have to stay a couple of nights, tonight's a definite. And obviously because she is a minor you'll have to stay too. Though I figure you would want to."  
"Mommaaa…"  
"I'm right here Emma, momma isn't going anywhere."  
He pushed her hair out of her eyes as he wished he could make her feel better a lot sooner.  
"I'm going to have her placed in a room so you'll both be more comfortable."  
"Thanks again Akito for everything."  
"Of course Tamaki, I'm happy to help my niece feel better." He handed Tamaki a cold cloth to put on her forehead to help her relax a little more.

He knew it was a fever from a cold and she could recover from it but until the fever was gone he couldn't relax. He was grateful his parents came to the hospital soon after he arrived to check on her and help him anyway they could. They would stay with Emma to let him stretch his legs and to eat something. Though he refused to leave her side unless she was asleep.  
"Go home with father I can stay by myself."  
"Are you sure Tamaki, I have no problem staying here with you so we can switch off and you can get some sleep."  
"I'll be fine so go. I'll call you tomorrow morning if I don't see you before then."  
"Alright dear see you tomorrow than." She hugged him tight before she left for the night with Yuzuru. She could only imagine how hard this was for him to do alone, no mate to help him. A fever was always scary for a parent when the child was so young, though as they got older it didn't make it much easier to deal with. Once they were gone he went back on the bed to be with Emma. He could tell she still felt horrible and didn't want to be away from him for even a second. He could see she was having trouble falling asleep because she wasn't feeling well and the wire, though long, wasn't helping her get comfortable.

"You know Emma; I used to hold your father like this when he wasn't feeling well too. When he was hurting and didn't want to move or when he couldn't relax I would wrap my arms around him, pull him close and ask him to allow me to help take the pain away. And you know what Emma, it worked. It's been awhile since I held anyone to help them feel better so I hope it still works. Your father was the last person I did this for, so is it helping?" Having her move closer into his arms he took that as a yes.

Tamaki fell asleep holding her and only after he was certain she was asleep. He was ready to wake up in a second if she needed him. He had such a brave little girl. She hadn't cried or complained or even asked question since she arrived. She cried a little at home but he could tell it was from not feeling well. Maybe it was the fever that was causing her to stay mostly silent but he thought it was because she was like her father in that respect.  
_"My princess, you'll be fine in no time. Your mother is taking amazing care of you. She will be fine Tamaki, take a breath."  
_With his eyes barely open he thought he saw someone over Emma gently touching her forehead. That gentle smile he saw on their face, the smile he loved, he knew who that was, he would know that smile anywhere.  
"Kyouya?" Blinking to clear his blurry vision he saw there was no one there. Sitting up he saw they were alone in the room, he could have sworn he saw Kyouya watching Emma, making sure she was okay. It was just his mind playing tricks on him again. There was no way he just saw Kyouya, he hadn't walked away from them he passed on, never able to be with the living again. He had to stop thinking he was coming back whenever moments like this happened.  
"Daddy."  
Looking back over at Emma he noticed she was still asleep. She was just dreaming. Maybe he was here with them and watching over her after all. Maybe he was helping her feel better and taking care of her the best he could by just being here. If so then his presence was helping them both relax as she stayed asleep and Tamaki was falling back. As his eyes shut he thought he could feel a hand touching his and his legs feel a warmth that hadn't felt in months. He knew they were both laying with her.

"Emma you need to eat something." Tamaki sat next to her trying to get her to eat the breakfast that was brought to her. So far though all she did was push it away. "Please Emma, for mommy? This will help you get better I promise." Taking the spoon to her mouth she refused to open her mouth for him and instead just started to cry as she swatted his hand away.  
"Don't cry Emma it's alright."  
"How is she doing Tamaki, is she still not eating?"  
Tamaki looked to see Akito enter the room to check on her again. A nurse had come in earlier this morning to take her temperature and replace the IV bags for her. Her fever had dropped quite a lot during the night but it was still high.  
"No, she won't touch it."  
Sitting across from Tamaki he felt her forehead and throat for any signs of swelling that was stopping her from eating.  
"What's the matter kiddo it doesn't appeal to you? I don't blame you hospital food isn't really the greatest though we do strive to make it as good as we can. How about your uncle tries something else you might like, hmmm?" Taking the bowl from Tamaki he got up to walk out. "I'll be right back with something else."  
Emma moved closer to Tamaki so he could wrap his arms around her.  
"What's wrong Emma, talk to momma." Now that he thought about it she hadn't really said a word since she arrived here. What if the fever caused damage to the point where she couldn't speak? Oh god if that was true and really the cause then he was the cause of it because he failed to see how bad she was and get help sooner.  
"Oh Emma I'm so sorry."

Akito came back a few minutes later too see Tamaki had this look of horror and worry on his face. He hadn't been gone that long and he hadn't been notified of anything happening. Handing the bowl to Tamaki he waited to see if she would try it.  
"It's cold?"  
"It's what I call a medical smoothie. This holds all the vitamins and minerals she needs right now. She is hot so I bet the last thing her body wants is hot cereal."  
"Here Emma open up, please, give it a try, you might like it."  
After coaxing her for a few minutes she finally opened her mouth for him. Tamaki was overjoyed as she swallowed it. Though it didn't last long as after the second mouthful she stopped eating again.  
"We don't want to force it down her throat so let's stop and try in an hour or so." Taking it from Tamaki he stuck it in the freezer the room held so it would be good for later Helping her lay down Tamaki tried to get her to take a nap so he could talk to Akito and not frighten her. Stepping right outsider her room he brought up what was really getting to him.  
"I don't want to scare you bur if she doesn't eat soon I'll have no choice but to hook her up to more fluids so she gets what she needs. She's too young to be hooked up to tubes for food and that is really a last resort, something is very wrong, thing. Which she is nowhere near so don't start to panic. I really don't see this being more than a cold though. When you don't feel good you just want to sleep, right, and that is what she wants to do too. As for her not speaking. It could be a few things as well. There are the things we want it to be and the things we don't want it to be. What we want it to be is she just doesn't feel up to talking. I noticed her throat is red and sore. But the chances are rare that it is something serious, dangerous high fevers can cause motor skill problems your right but it's more common in infants so I don't believe it's that. Give her time Tamaki let her feel a little better and see what happens. I have faith she'll be fine in no time and be back to her happy, hyper, self." He felt better having Akito talk to him and believing everything would be alright given some time.

Still the feeling of calm didn't last long as he still couldn't get Emma to get a little later on. There had to be something he could do to get her eat.  
"Just a little Emma, we'll do a little at a time."  
_"Here allow me. Open for me princess."_  
Tamaki got chills down his spine; there it was again, that perfectly clear voice but it wasn't possible. Emma didn't react to anyone being in the room with them but she opened her mouth for Tamaki and allowed him to feed her. Pulling his hand back he felt something on his hand; something smooth and gentle, something he could never forget. It didn't fade as he gave her more.  
"Do you feel that Emma? Can you feel his daddy's presence?"  
"Daddy?" She just looked at him lost by what he was getting at. She didn't see him anywhere in the room. Was it really in his mind? He didn't believe it; he knew Kyouya was with them, helping him. Having her finish he just smiled as he rested on his chest.  
"Momma, I'm hungry."  
"Thank you Kyouya. What would you like princess?" Looking beside him he was surprised to see no one there. He had almost expected to see him there, his heart and soul told him he was.  
"Hello you two. Oh Emma you're looking better already." They saw Annie-Sophia and Yuzuru come in holding some clothes for them and Emma's favorite stuffed dog.  
"Rin found this for you sweetie, in hopes you'd feel better sooner."  
She took the dog and hugged it tight happy to have it in her arms again. Tamaki realized that she didn't have it when she came into his room the other night, that was rare, she dragged it everywhere with her. He went to change quickly while his parents were with her. They talked quietly as she started to doze off only to be woken up when the nurse brought her lunch. She was happy to pass the message along to Akito that Emma was eating again.

Tamaki was beyond thrilled to be home with her the next day. Her fever had broken during the night allowing her to come home and not being forced to be monitored anymore so long as she was given her medicine at home. He was fine and very capable of doing that for her, he also had no problem with her staying in bed all day so long as she was getting better.  
"Emma I brought your favorites from the chief. He hopes you feel better soon and are glad your back home." Walking in he saw her sitting on her bed looking at the picture Kyouya drew on her wall before she was born.  
"Pretty."  
"You're right, it is pretty. And do you know what this says? It's your name, see it says Emma, E-M-M-A, which is you. Your daddy drew this for you before you were born. He wanted something that could always be just for you. You're our princess and you deserve unique things.  
"Daddy." She stood up on the bed to reach the flowers around her name.  
"Yes princess your dad did this for you."  
"Daddy!"  
She turned around to sit only to stop and stare over his shoulder.  
"Emma, is everything alright?" Looking behind him at the area she was staring at he saw nothing. "What do you see Emma." She had a smile growing on her face as she sat down and allowed Tamaki to give her the food he had with him. That night he stayed with her in her room per her request. He had no problem with it except he saw himself falling out at least once. But he would do anything for her.

His hands traced over the name engraved he was kneeling in front of. He had just been here the other day to be like other couples and spend Valentine's Day with the one he loved. Now though he came for the anniversary of their death. He had left Emma with his father even though Yuzuru told him he should bring her. He just wasn't up to it yet, he hadn't been crazy about bringing her on Kyouya's birthday. She was still too young to learn about death. He didn't want his actions to give her more nightmares.  
"It's been a year already that you've been gone, that I've been without you. God can you believe it's been a full year already? Some days it doesn't feel like it. Some days it feels like it was just yesterday that we said good-bye; that our lips touched for the last time a year ago. A year ago our dreams ended. We had so many dreams for our future, between raising a family and just for ourselves and before we had a chance to get to them they all ended. They all died with you and I miss them as much as miss you. We were just starting to be able to start our lives together when you had to leave us. I may have known you since I was fourteen but we were too young to enjoy our time together fully and then we were old enough, to only get six full years. We only had six full years together. That is barely any time really, when others get to have fifty or sixty and we only get six. I miss you and I love you. I've been without you for a full year already and there are still days were I really miss you. There are still days where it takes so much to get out of bed and not cry all day. Emma being here has made it easier so I wanted to thank you. You gave me someone to love just as much as I love you. I wish I could see you and hold you and tell you how much I love you. Know that no matter how many years pass I'll still miss you. But also know that I'm not being too persistent to be with you exactly. You may be in paradise now but there is someone here that still needs me and I don't plan to leave her. But you can continue to lend some help from time to time. Emma and I enjoy you haunting us." He was able to smile though the tears that came on and off since he woke up this morning.

He stayed at the grave until a little after one, he may not have brought Emma but that didn't mean he didn't want to spend time with her. He was meeting with his father to do lunch, something they rarely did anymore and something Tamaki wanted change right now. As he was leaving he ran into Yoshio and the others. After talking to them and glad to hear they were doing well so far today he let them be. He didn't feel right staying, every since Kyouya's death he felt the connection he had to his family wasn't as strong anymore. He had been the main thread that tied them together and now it was torn breaking the bond.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Last chapter while still in Jersey. Next one will be written in NY and hopefully before I start school on Wednesday though I make no promises. Please review.  
Love everyone reading and enjoying this story.  
~Femalefighter~


	25. School Days

Chapter 25

**Disclaimer- **I own nothing!

This one's for you and me, living out our dreams  
We're all right where we should be  
Lift my arms out wide I open my eyes  
And now all I wanna see  
Is a sky full of lighters  
A sky full of lighters  
~Lighters; Bad Meets Evil~

Tamaki chased Emma around the living room trying to get her to get ready for bed. Tomorrow was a big day for her and he wanted her to get a good night's sleep.  
"Gotcha, your mine now!" Getting his arms around her they both laughed as he pulled her closer. Alice jumped on them to play too only to completely cover Emma and cause Tamaki to lose his balance.  
"Oh no Emma, Alice is trying to save you."  
"Yay Alice!"  
Keeping his arms around her he lifted her up to carry her upstairs trying not to fall from Alice jumping around him.

"Okay princess in bed."  
"But mommaaaaa…"  
"No buts, don't' you want to be fully rested and ready for tomorrow?"  
"No, I wanna stay with you."  
"Stay with me? You want to go to work with me? You've never gone to work with me. And I promise you'll like school. Grandpa and I own it so we promise it will be fun. You'll make friends and do fun activities."  
"Promise mommy?"  
"I promise Emma."  
Slowly she climbed into bed to be tucked in. Once she was good Alice jumped on the bed to lay by her feel while Tamaki gave Emma her favorite stuffed animal.  
"Good night Emma. May your dreams be pleasant ones and mommy will see you tomorrow." Kissing her good night he went to the door to turn the light out and get comfortable himself.  
"Mommy?"  
"Yes Princess?"  
"Can you stay here?"  
"Emma. Okay I'll stay until you fall asleep, alright."  
Turning the light out he walked over to the chair in the room to sit and watch over her until she fell asleep.  
"Thank you mommy."  
"You're welcome Emma, now try to sleep.

Finally being able to walk into his own room he collapsed on the bed to just lay there for a moment.  
"Kyouya, our little girl starts school tomorrow. I can't believe it's been three years already since you've been gone. I can't believe she is five already. She needs to stop growing up so fast." It was hard to believe how much time had passed since Kyouya's death and now and how he managed to get by without him. It wasn't easy he knew that much not even financially speaking for they were fine there but there was everything else that wasn't. He was missing so much of her life. Rolling over he shut his eyes and fell asleep, some nights he could swear he felt his arms around him. He hoped this was one of those nights. He always slept better and his dreams were always of the three of them together, such pleasant and happy dreams. Other nights he didn't dream of anything or if he didn't remember when he woke up.

Emma futzed around fixing her school uniform while Tamaki helped her finish getting ready.  
"Stop Emma its fine I promise."  
"Do I have to go to school mommy, can't I stay here?"  
"Sorry but you have to and I promise you'll love it. Just give it a try." Taking her hand he led her downstairs to the kitchen for breakfast. If she didn't have to go he would keep her home, teach her himself but he couldn't and he wanted her to expand her social horizons. Besides her younger cousins he hoped she would play with someone her age this way. She stayed close to him during breakfast and while they were in the car. Obviously someone was worried about today, though he learned that last week when her uniform arrived. He had to practically drag her out of the car once it pulled up to the school. Ouran, every time he stepped foot on any part of the campus the memories of his time here flooded back, from the first time he ever came here to his graduation. All the memories, good and bad came back.

"Hello sir, this must be the Emma. Oh isn't she simply the cutest."  
She hide behind Tamaki as the woman knelt down to talk to her.  
"Say hello Emma, this is your teacher. Forgive her she seems shy all of a sudden."  
"Oh that's quite alright. Many students are nervous on their first day but Emma I promise we'll have lots of fun this year."  
Turning around and kneeling down Tamaki tried to get her to walk away and meet the other students. He needed her to walk away before he became emotional as well.  
"See Emma you'll be fine I promise. Look everyone is a little nervous for their first day. I will be back here to pick you up later so go have fun alright."  
"Promise mommy?"  
"I promise princess."  
Hugging her tightly he let her go and saw other parents were having a hard time just like he was. He swore it had to be just as hard on the parents as it was for the kids. Once he saw she was alright he got back in his car to head to work so the day could start so it could end and he could pick her up. His father would understand why he couldn't stay until five he was certain of it.

"So how did it go Tamaki? Did you cry?"  
"Oh very funny father. No I didn't cry and it went alright I guess."  
"I can't believe Emma started school today. Seems like yesterday she was born."  
"Tell me about it." Actually he would rather not even think about it. "It feels so strange to know she is at Ouran and I can't stop worrying about her. She was so scared to leave me today and last night she had trouble sleeping. I hope she is doing alright.  
"Tamaki, you do you know you run the school correct?"  
"What?"  
"If you're that worried about her than go check on her. Your administration, you can create an excuse to leave here and go see her. I did it a few times to you when you first started there."  
"So that's why I ran into you in the halls between classes those first few days; you were spying on me!"  
"It's not spying; I was making sure you were adjusting well enough. It was a new environment for you and I was a little worried about you managing."  
"Okay so what excuse should I use?"  
"Well safety inspections are coming up."  
"That's perfect. Thanks father." Grabbing a notebook off his desk he headed out the door.

With the school's head secretary in tow he looked over each building starting with the elementary building first. Emma's classroom was the last one down the kindergarten hall. So he wouldn't see her until last but it worked better this way. He could stick to his excuse better, made him look less obvious this way.  
"As you see sir we just had these tiles replaced due to water damage for fear they would fall apart and these outlets here are all covered so no little fingers can touch them."  
"That's great but my main concern is the classrooms where the students are most of the day. I want to see if anything needs to be replaced so we can get to it right away."  
"Of course sir."  
They walked over to the first one to go over to it and make sure everything was fine in it He was learning a lot right now too making this trip work out for everyone, plus it saved him time later on by getting everything fixed now. Walking into Emma's classroom he tried to act cool, not have anyone realize he was trying to check on Emma.  
"Hello sir, can I help you with something?" The teacher walked over to them at the door.  
"We are checking the room to see if anything needs to be fixed, safety inspecting are coming up so we want to make sure all rooms are safe for the staff as well as the students.  
"Of course sir. The room is yours, the children are working on projects to help learn similar interests with their classmates."  
"Thank you for your cooperation, we shouldn't be long." He could tell Emma was staring at him from her seat. A part of him was surprised she hadn't yelled hi to him, it seemed he taught her well. Though he wouldn't have gotten completely upset at her since that was something kids her age did. As he walked in the room to start he looked over at her and smiled. She waved and he couldn't help but wave back. The smile on her face as she went back to work on her project and talk with the other people at her table made him relax and he felt better letting her go to school this year.  
"That's your daughter isn't it sir?" His secretary whispered to him as they looked over the inspection list and the room.  
"It is."  
"She has gotten so big and beautiful. She definitely takes after you."  
"Thank you, she is beautiful, our looks aside." The secretary smiled as she waved hello at Emma who looked confused but waved back.

"Mommy!" Emma ran out of the building and into Tamaki's arms once school got out.  
"Hello Emma, I told you I would be here. Did you like school today princess?" As they got into the car she told him all about it and gave him some of the pictures she made in class. He was relieved to see it had gone well and to hear how excited she was for tomorrow.  
"You came into my classroom today mommy!"  
"I did, are you upset with me?"  
"No! I love you mommy!"  
"I love you too princess." His face blew up in a huge smile as she hugged him tight.  
The rest of the night she told anyone she could find about her first day of school and was excited to go to bed knowing she was going back tomorrow. Tamaki was happy to see her so excited though she wouldn't settle down even after he tucked her in for the night.  
"Emma, what are you doing?" He watched as she got out of bed to run over to her bookshelf.  
"Mommy will you read me a bedtime story." She couldn't have asked five minutes ago?  
"Sure Emma, which one?"  
"This one!" She pulled out her favorite fairy tale story and ran back to her bed to wait for him to walk over. He could tell from where he was that it was one he read to her often, she could probably read it word for word without even looking.  
"Alright, but only because I love you." Walking back over to her bed he sat beside her and took the book so he could read it.

Tamaki sat with Ranka at a little shop to just get together and chat. They had gotten closer these past few years and for both it was nice to talk to someone who had been there, compare notes so to speak.  
"So what does Emma think of school so far?"  
"She loves it. She has already had a few meet ups with her classmates which is great."  
"But,"  
"But nothing really, it's something else that's bothering me."  
"Is it that dream you've told me about?"  
"Thankfully no." A few years ago Tamaki told Ranka about his dream wondering if he experienced anything like it before. It had also gotten to him because it came back a few months after Kyouya had died and it showed Tamaki choosing Emma. Just like he had right before he had passed away. He had blamed himself for what happened to Kyouya until he told Ranka about it. He hadn't had a dream like Tamaki had but he still managed to help him feel better and realize he had nothing to do with Kyouya's fate.  
"No, I'm just having trouble coming to terms that she is growing up. Knowing she is five and getting bigger and that Kyouya's not here is getting to me I think."  
"When Kotoko died I had trouble getting into a life without her. You willingly jumped back in,"  
"I wouldn't say willingly."  
"But you did, you pushed yourself to get back a sense of normalcy. Perhaps you need to get away again. Take a vacation with Emma this time. I know that's what I needed when I felt time was flying by. Though I was never able to really afford one but I figure you must certainly can."  
"True, I never thought about that. Though I never thought I would be too weak to heal. I never had any intention to move on but I figured I would heal better."  
"You aren't weak. You were in love."  
This was why he enjoyed talking to Ranka. He understood everything so perfectly. He never would have been able to become so strong if they didn't become friends.

Emma sat on Tamaki's lap while they watched TV for a little while before she got to her homework. She was in love with this one show and he had no problem watching it with her, as she snuggled closer he could tell she had no problem with him being here either.  
"Mommy?"  
"Yes princess?"  
"…never mind…"  
"Emma, what did you want to tell me?"  
She stayed silent as she held her stuffed dog tighter and went back to the show. What did she want to ask him? She was five and not that good at keeping secrets yet so he wasn't worried about it being something serious. When the show ended she slid off him at his command to do her homework.  
"Will mommy help me?"  
"Help you? Sure Emma why not." Watching her smile while she took his hand so they could walk into the kitchen together he forgot about earlier. It was probably nothing anyway. She was too cute working on her spelling and counting homework. She didn't have too much trouble with it as she was the child of very smart parents but watching her figure it out and the wide smile and excitement in her eyes as she checked with him to see if she was right was too much. He enjoyed their routine together, everything was just right and seeing her so happy made him certain that she enjoyed it too.

That weekend Tamaki took her to the park to spend the day out and meet up with her cousin. Natsumi was still too young to really play with Emma but they got along pretty well most of the time so they got together whenever they could. Plus, a day out of the house was always nice. It seemed Akito had gotten there first as Tamaki saw him and his wife with their two kids. Their son was born a few months back.  
"Mommy?" Emma stopped walking when she felt Tamaki stop suddenly. He had never realized how much Akito and Kyouya looked similar. Sure they were brothers but he never really saw it before. He had to double take to make sure he wasn't going crazy.  
"Momma, come on!" She started pulling his arm so they could get closer so she could play.  
"What? Oh sorry Emma, yea let's go." She ran ahead to get there faster.  
"Uncle Akito!"  
"Emma! You're getting so big, look at you!"  
"Uncle silly!"  
"Oh am I?"  
They started laughing as Tamaki caught up.  
"Here mommy!" Giving the back pack Rin made for her to him she ran off to play on the jungle gym with Natsumi.  
"Thanks Emma." Sighing he laughed as he sat with the other two to watch the girls play.

Tamaki was dragged under a tree by Emma so they could have lunch. The others had gone off for a moment to change their son, man he didn't miss those days at all.  
"Having fun Emma?"  
She nodded excitingly while she dug through her bag looking for something.  
"That's good, I'm glad."  
Finding what she was looking for she handed him a juice box so he could open it for her.  
"Please mommy?"  
"Sure princess."  
Taking it from her he got the straw in and tried to give it back only to realize he lost her attention.  
"Emmmmaaaa, helloooooo." Looking at what she was staring at he saw Akito coming back playing with Natsumi who was in her arms.  
"Mommy where is my dad? How come I don't have one like Natsumi does?"  
His body froze at her question; he knew this day would come sooner or later. She looked at him waiting for her answer. He could see the wonder and sadness in her eyes that came from not being able to see her father everyday like her younger cousin did. He couldn't get his throat to open, to let any words come out.  
"Mommy tell me! Where is daddy?" She stood next to him pushing his shoulder trying to get him to tell her. Akito and his wife stopped just short of where they were as they heard Emma's question. He held Natsumi a little tighter as he looked down at his feet. He could feel his wife watching both him and Tamaki.  
"He isn't here Emma. You do have a father, everyone does but yours is no longer with us. That's why he isn't here."  
"What happened to him? Did I do something wrong to make him leave?"  
All three adults' heart broke at hearing that. Tamaki looked over at her with horror and tears in his eyes.  
"No princess you didn't. I never want you to think that ever again. Your father loved you so much, more than you could imagine. He got very sick before you were born and he fought so hard to stay with you but it still won. That's why he isn't here with you or with us."  
She stopped pushing to sit down and ball up holding her stuffed dog. She was sorry she asked seeing how sad her mother's face was.  
"Emma, princess, please don't be upset. You didn't do anything wrong. See princess everything is fine." Quickly wiping his eyes he threw a smile on his face and tried to get her to smile back. Feeling his hand on her shoulder she got up and ran down the path her aunt and uncle just came from.  
"Emma! Emma, come back!" Tamaki was on his feet in no time to chase after her. Akito went to help him only to be stopped.  
"I know you want to help him but this is something he has to handle on his own."  
His wife had a point but he couldn't help but want to chase after her. He owed his brother that much, to look after the daughter he left behind in his place.

"Emma! Come out, please don't do this!" Tamaki looked around the area where he lost track of her. She ran into the bushes and when he looked he couldn't find her. "Emma where are you? Please come out!" He started to panic as he couldn't find her. She should have been around here. What if she was kidnapped? He was sure he had enemies and she was the perfect target. Checking the bushes one last time he started to head back to the others and ask for their help. Seeing the jungle gym come into the view he stopped to check to see if she had snuck past him and was hiding here. Hearing crying he followed it as it got louder. Grabbing the hole in the floor of the square house thing above him he pulled himself up to see her huddled up in a corner with her dog.  
"There you are. You know you scared me." He sat next to her to watch her bunch up tighter. "You're so much like your father." Grabbing his legs he stared at the plastic wall across from them to look at nothing.  
"Mommy. What was my dad like?"  
"He was a great man. One of the best. He loved you very much, no one, besides me, could love you more. Gentle and loving while not allowing others to push him around. You know you're a lot like him. In both looks and mannerisms."  
"I'm like my dad?"  
"You are, since the day you were born."  
She dug her head into his side happy she wasn't upset with her.  
"I'm sorry mommy for upsetting you and hiding from you."  
"I'm not upset. You have every right to ask and I'm just glad you're safe. I couldn't bare it if I lost you. I love you Emma and I always will. We are doing well just the two of us though aren't we? Sure your father isn't here like I would have loved but that doesn't mean we can't get by on our own does it?"  
She held him tighter as he felt her start to cry again.

Akito relaxed seeing Tamaki carrying Emma on his back. He was getting worried when they were taking awhile to get back. Walking over he placed her down and together they all ate lunch.  
"Emma, play?" Natsumi was pulling her sleeve while she ate.  
"I want to play with my mom after lunch."  
"Okay!"  
Tamaki noticed she moved closer to him while she finished eating. She really was the best.  
"Ready to play Emma?"  
"Yea!" Finishing what she was drinking she threw her trash away while she ran back to the jungle gym to play with Tamaki.  
"See Akito, everything is fine."  
"I know. I know Tamaki is handing everything well and I shouldn't worry but still. I feel I owe my services to my baby brother's family. He would have done the same for you."  
"I know he would have. Tell me my love will you ever find peace though?" Kissing his lips she noticed he was watching Tamaki and Emma. She could tell he still felt guilty that Kyouya couldn't join them, that he was no longer with them.  
"I don't know if I'll be able to answer that."

0o0o0o0o0

I should have had this done a few days ago but my body was adjusting to school schedules and that meant I was out of commission after class. Hopefully I can update again before NYAF/NYCC next weekend. Anyone going? Please review and leave thoughts. I love you guys for reading and reviewing and favoriting. It means so much so thank you.  
~Femalefighter~


	26. Love Never Dies

Chapter 26

**Disclaimer**- I own nothing!

This one's for you and me, living out our dreams  
We're all right where we should be  
Lift my arms out wide I open my eyes  
And now all I wanna see  
Is a sky full of lighters  
A sky full of lighters  
~Lighters; Bad Meets Evil~

Emma ran to the phone hearing Rin say it was her mom. Rarely did he call her once she got home from school but she was super excited all the same.  
"Hi mom!...I see…no mom it's fine…kick butt okay…love you too." Hanging up she put the phone back on the hook and headed to the living room.  
"Miss Emma is everything okay? Is everything alright with Master Tamaki?"  
"Mom has to stay late tonight. He said not to wait up for him with dinner. Can I watch TV before dinner?"  
"Sure miss and I'll help you with your homework if you need it."  
"Thanks Rin." Reaching for her stuffed dog off the stairs and calling for Alice she went to sit in the living room to watch TV once Rin turned it on for her. She knew how but it was locked so she couldn't watch anything inappropriate. Once the kids guide was activated she was handed the remote.  
"Would you like me to stay with you miss?"  
"No thanks I'm okay." Hugging her dog that she had for as long as she could remember and laying against Alice who was bunched up on the couch beside her she stared at the TV.  
"I'll get you when dinner is ready. I'll be right in the kitchen if you need anything."  
"Okay."  
Rin stood behind the couch to watch her for a minute before leaving her alone. She could see how much she hated it when Tamaki got stuck at work. It didn't happen often but she looked forward to five o'clock knowing he would be home soon. She knew Tamaki hated it as well knowing he loved to be home with her at night. It had to be tough on him being a single parent and trying to balance work and home since Emma was getting older. Leaving her be she walked into the kitchen to set the table.

Tamaki hung up the phone feeling horrible that he wouldn't be home until later and hearing the sadness in Emma's voice when he told her. But there was no way he could leave with an important presentation at five. Sadly things like this were bound to happen every now and then; it was part of being the head of the family since his father stepped down last year.  
"How did Emma take the news?"  
"Well, though she is upset naturally."  
"It must be hard on her to be home alone with just the hired help while knowing others are with their parents."  
"She knows I don't mean to and this doesn't happen all the time. Do you have those documents I asked for yet?" He hated sounding so bossy but he wasn't in the mood to deal with his secretary. He wanted to get done here and go home as soon as this meeting wrapped up.  
"I'll get them right now for you sir." She walked out as Yuzuru walked in. He may have stepped down but he was still an active board member and usually a welcomed sight.  
"You know she was trying to flirt with you right." He sat across from Tamaki gesturing towards where the secretary left.  
"Not now father I really want to finish up, get this meeting over with and go home. And I thought so, at times she really isn't subtle. Though I've made it clear that I'm not interested."  
"It's been five years since Kyouya's passing, you are allowed to move on. I'm sure he won't get jealous and no one will think it ill of you."  
"I know that. But, maybe I don't care to move on. Has it ever occurred to anyone that I'm perfectly happy not remarrying or even dating again. I had the best and no one will ever come close to that."  
"But what about Emma, she deserves having two parents."  
"She has two! Just because her father isn't alive doesn't mean she doesn't have one! And what, I should just marry someone off the street just so Emma has two parents? Believe it or not we have done well these past five years and we will continue to do well."  
"Calm down Tamaki I was just making a suggestion."  
"No, god I am so tired of this, you have no idea! If I wanted to settle down and date again I could. I'm not stupid I see people flirting with me and I always turn them down. If you don't have any actual business with me than can you leave me so I can finish up so I can leave as soon as I can. I have a little girl at home that I want to get to."  
"Of course Tamaki. See you at the meeting." Getting up he let him be. He knew he shouldn't have brought it up but he wanted to know if Tamaki was really not interested or just that blind to the advances others were making. He still wore his wedding ring, Tamaki was still young and he knew he wanted a big family since he was still a child. Still, he couldn't force him to remarry. He never did once he met Annie-Sophia and divorced his ex-wife. She was the one he wanted and no one else would be the same, his situation was different than his sons though. He still had the one he loved and if she would accept his proposal they would have married two years ago. Maybe Tamaki really was happy staying single, though he felt he was hiding the true reason he still was.

Tamaki opened the door to Emma's room finally home. It was well passed her bedtime; the meeting had run much longer than he thought. He would make it up to her tomorrow. Perhaps he would leave early and he would pick her up from school so they could spend the afternoon together. That did sound nice and rarely could he pick her up from school. Usually Rin got her and watched her until he got home at five thirty. Walking in he sat on her bed to watch her sleep, Alice lifted her head up slightly from her position at the end of the bed to make sure she wasn't in danger.  
"Hey girl, are you keeping Emma safe? Good girl."  
He pet her head before moving Emma's cover up at little closer to keep her warmer.  
"We are doing well aren't we Emma, just you and me? We don't need anyone else do we?" For five years he did this alone, well with Rin's help but she considered herself Emma's nanny. Not that he was too happy with that but it was what had to be done. When she was born he didn't want it to feel like any of the housekeepers were raising her and he still didn't think it was like that but it had gotten closer. Ranka had told him how Haruhi would walk home alone from school and do her own shopping and cooking and cleaning. She became independent so he could take it easy after work. He had no other choice back than but he wasn't crazy about doing that to her. Tamaki didn't want that for Emma either, he wanted her to have the normal, happy childhood he had always wanted for her.  
"Maybe it is about time I started dating again."

"Mommy!" Emma ran out of the school building looking for Rin only to see Tamaki waiting for her. With a growing smile on her face she ran into his arms.  
"I told you I would be here silly. So what do you want to do?"  
"Let's get ice cream!"  
Okaying her idea they got in the car to head to the finest ice cream shop in town. He was trying to make it up to her for last night after all. Seeing her happy and excited to be spending the day with him made him happy as well. They had fun together every time they were together; she wanted to play so play they did. He was happy to see Emma be a normal child and not act like the heiress she was. She was content to going to some park for a little while and then going bowling, how she loved to bowl. He only hoped as she got older she wouldn't change too much. He never wanted her to become spoiled and rude to others. Listening to her go on and on about this and that he couldn't figure out when she took a breath. How wasn't she blue in the face already?

They sat on a bench outside of a restaurant waiting the few minutes for a table. Today had been a lot of fun for both of them; he really needed to do this more often with her. Now though would be the perfect time to bring up his thought of dating again get hers.  
"Mommy?"  
"Umm, what is it Emma?" Looking over at her he noticed she was watching the families around them, whole families. He figured she would bring it up until she was old enough to completely understand, he had to tell her everything as well though for that to happen.  
"Daddy is no longer with us is he?"  
"He isn't, do you wish you had a dad again?"  
"I don't know. But then I would have to share you wouldn't I?"  
She clutched onto his side while they both laughed, she was too cute.  
"So you like it just being us? Even when I have to work late and you're alone?"  
"I know you only do it because you have to and I have Rin to play with. I don't want to share you. I want it to be the two of us forever!"  
"Well okay then it will stay just us."  
"Yay!"  
With that taken care of he noticed their beeper for their table was ready.  
"Hungry?"  
"Food!"

Tamaki got home from work wanting to talk to Emma. It was partially his fault for not realizing it sooner but she never even brought it up with him. She should have known he would have gone with her.  
"Emma! I'm home!"  
"Mommy! Welcome home!" Running out of her play room she met him in the hall. Hugging him like she did everyday she was surprised when he pulled away.  
"Emma, tell me, why didn't you remind me that today was "bring your parent to school" day. You know I would have been there. I'm sorry that I forgot, I should have known."  
"It's okay mommy."  
"Can I make it up to you somehow? I feel awful."  
"I didn't want you to come."  
"What? But, I?" His hands slipped up off her shoulder by her words. He was lost, why wouldn't she want him there. Was she mad at him for something?  
"I didn't want you to get messed up with work by spending the day with me."  
"But Emma," if she recalled the elementary school of Ouran made it a big event to encourage as many parents as it could to attend with the kids. It was a way for the parents to not focus on work so much and spend time with their kids, if only for a day.  
"Don't worry momma, a lot of parents couldn't come."  
He knew she was lying; he had been given papers showing how successful it had been that was how he remembered. She was probably the only one in her class that didn't have a parent show up. Kyouya probably wouldn't have forgotten and would have made sure he showed up for her. He owned them for peats sake; he had no excuse for what happened. Her "it's fine" attitude wasn't helping him any though.  
"Your just like your father, I really can't stand it sometimes."  
"My father? Mom what was dad like?"  
Kneeling down better he saw she was completely off the other subject and only focusing on what she asked.  
"He was a great man who loved you and wanted nothing but the best for you."

Tamaki sat next to Emma in bed as he tried to get her to fall asleep.  
"Only that much, you only love me that much."  
"No, no I love you this much!" Sitting up she stretched her arms as far as they would go to show him better.  
"Oh well that's better but what about this much?" He moved them a little more without hurting her.  
"Yes mommy I love you this much." They went back and forth for awhile until Tamaki realized it was getting late for her.  
"Alright let's get you tucked in Emma."  
"Oh okay."  
"Come here Alice." Patting the bed Alice jumped up to lay by Emma's feet only to watch her move beside her and curl up near her head. "Oh so you're her other pillow at night." Emma moved closer to Alice to rest on her while she started to fall asleep.  
"Alice is good girl, I love Alice."  
"Yes she is, one of the best." Petting her head he tucked Emma in and kissed her good-night. Before he turned her light out he looked at the drawing still on Emma's wall, the one Kyouya had drawn for her before she was born. Somehow, together, they were doing well; they were getting on with life.  
"You knew this would happen didn't you, you saw this outcome all those years ago."  
"What mommy?"  
"Nothing Emma, good-night. I love you."  
"I love you too mommy."

XxXxXxXx

Emma walked down the hall of her family's company after school. She wasn't too sure where she was going she had only gone here once before and she had gone with her mom. This time though she was on a mission that didn't involve him, she was getting completely frustrated with him. All she wanted was more detail but instead all she was fed was the same line she heard since she was a kid.  
"Miss Emma, is that you? If you're looking for your mother he isn't here. He had a meeting at another building this afternoon."  
"That's fine. I'm looking for my grandfather, is he here?"  
"I'm sorry but he isn't here either. He left at lunch time. He'll be here tomorrow though."  
"Oh okay, thanks anyway." Turning around she walked back down the hall and out of the building to her waiting car. That was a waste of time; she should have called first, well after she got the number. At least she knew her mom could be home late. The house was so boring when he wasn't home, though being with Rin wasn't bad nor was running around the backyard with Alice.

Collapsing on the grass she tried to catch her breath from running around the yard and now having Alice tickle her face with her tongue.  
"Alice…breath…off…stop."  
"Alice off my granddaughter please it makes saying hi difficult."  
With Alice jumping off her Emma sat up to see her grandparents on the deck. That's right, her grandmother was flying in today.  
"Grandma! Grandpa! Hi!" Running over to hug them she started to blush over her grandmother's compliments, as always.  
"I'm so happy you both came over. How was your flight grandma?"  
"It was nice sweetie. Is your mother home yet?"  
"No, I think he had a meeting but he should be here soon."  
"Another meeting, the one I was at ended at noon. So then I take it he hasn't talked to you about going to your father's grave yet?"  
"I haven't seen him since breakfast. Not that he would take me anyway." Crossing her arms and now ticked she sat on the steps of the porch. Noticing Annie-Sophia sat beside her she uncrossed her arms and exhaled; she hated making a scene when her grandparents were over.  
"I'm sure he means well even if you don't agree with him. He has his reasons I'm sure."  
She wasn't going to argue with her but that didn't mean she didn't feel any better. She knew what tomorrow was and she was treated like it didn't affect her. He was her father after all but no let's forget that little fact.  
"Excuse me miss, Master Tamaki is home."  
"Thank you Rin." Getting up she joined her grandparents as they went to greet her mother.

Tamaki knew what was coming as soon as his father followed him into his office after dinner. He knew it was coming for a while now actually.  
"Tamaki, why do you refuse to take Emma to Kyouya's grave? She deserves to honor him, especially with this year being his ten year anniversary."  
"I know that! But, still, I can't. I can't take her, the only reason I was able to move on back then, to get my life back up was by not involving her. As soon as I talk to her about him I'll lose it and I'm not up for that."  
"But you're not being fair to her; she deserves to know details Tamaki. She isn't a baby anymore. She is almost thirteen; it's time she knew what her father was like." He couldn't argue with Yuzuru but he had trouble talking to her, he had tried before but the words never came out. Speaking about him he was reminded him that he was gone, that he had been gone for years. He used his silence years ago to heal the hole Kyouya's passing left in his heart ten years ago and now he felt safe from that patch.  
"Talk to her Tamaki."

Leaving his office he walked down the hall and into the living room to see Emma alone on the couch. Sitting on the other end he took a minute before speaking. This had to be done, she deserved this time.  
"What are you looking at Emma?"  
"A photo album with you and dad."  
"Oh? Which one?"  
He could tell it was an album but had no clue as to which one since Kyouya had given him a few for Christmas before he passed away and he hadn't made any new ones though he had a box of pictures in his closet again.  
"I'm not sure though I guess I'm not born yet."  
"Have you seen the one with the Daimonji Bon Fire yet?"  
"I just passed it."  
"Then were dating still. I made him take me since I kept getting the season it was lit wrong and always wanted to see it."  
"You look funny."  
"Thanks Emma, I aim to please."  
"You have this goofy smile on your face that's all. You have it on a lot of these pictures."  
"Your father did that to me a lot."  
"Mom, what was dad like?"  
"He was an incredible man that,"  
"Stop!" She closed the album and stood up. She couldn't handle that answer anymore. "I don't care that he loved me and that he was the best father anyone could have had! It's not fair that I stare at these photos and I can't remember him from when I was a baby! Nothing about him stands out to me! I hate being the only person in my class that can't talk about my father, even the kids whose parents are divorced know more about theirs than I do! He was such a great man yet you refuse to talk to me about him! It's not fair that I lost my father when I was only two, that's what everyone says but no one will help me try to remember him! I hate it!"  
Tamaki went wide eyed and silent as he watched her start to cry before holding tighter to the album and running out of the room.  
"Emma!"  
He felt horrible for never realizing sooner about how hard it had to have been on her to not remember Kyouya at all.  
"Kyouya I screwed up big time, I'm sorry. I broke your promise you gave to me for our daughter. Please forgive me."

Sitting on her bed Emma stared at the painting of her name that was surrounded in flowers. It had been there from when she was a baby if she remembered correctly. She couldn't stop crying right now and she hated it. She never told anyone beside Alice and she was just a dog. Oh how she was jealous of the girls in her class that got to see her father's, even if it was only during breaks or weekends. She never got that chance with hers because as her life was starting his was ending. Why was fate so cruel?  
"Daddy why did you have to die? I miss you." Hugging the album tighter she stopped crying as Alice joined her on the bed and started licking away her tears.  
"Thanks Alice." Placing the album on her desk she got back in bed to snuggle her better. Alice really was her best friend, though she did have real ones. The thought of her getting older was one she tried not to think about too often. If she lost her she would be lost too, they did grow up together after all.

Tamaki walked in Emma's room to see her snuggling Alice, asleep on her bed. He wasn't sure if she was actually asleep or just pretending to avoid him but she wouldn't answer him so his plan would have to wait it seemed. Tucking her in he kissed her good-night, both were something he hadn't done in a long while. He would make it up to her and her father; that was his promise to them. Alice raised her head to help him out before snuggling close to Emma again. He was happy to see those two so close throughout the years. Alice had attached to Emma when she was still a puppy which had been his plan from the beginning.  
"Good girl."

"Grandpa? Are you busy?" Emma poked her head through the office door making sure he was alone.  
"Emma, what are you doing here?" Perhaps Tamaki came back after his business at the school, it was only three thirty he could have had work he needed to complete by tomorrow. He remembered those nights.  
"Can you help me with something?" Coming in she sat across from him hoping this would work. He was the last person she could go to, her mother wasn't helping and her grandmother was basically agreeing with whatever her mom said and told her to be patient. She was done waiting for nothing.  
"Can you take me to my father's grave? Mom won't and I'm tired of waiting. I mean today marks ten years since my father passed away right and I've never been there."  
"Emma I get what you're saying,"  
"Please grandpa! You're my last chance." He watched her eyes pleading, ready to beg with him.  
"If not that then tell me stories about him. I can't remember him and mom always says the same old thing. I tried asking my uncle Akito because I learned he stayed with us for awhile back then but he had trouble talking about him. Auntie said his passing really affected my uncle so I dropped it."  
Putting down his pen he sat back in the chair, it couldn't hurt to help her.  
"Come on, we'll talk in the car." Seeing her face light up he knew this was the right thing, even though he still felt Tamaki should be doing this, he owed it to his daughter they shared. Thinking of Tamaki maybe he would grab him to join them.  
"Is your mother in his office?"  
"I'm not sure, I came alone after school."  
"I see, well come on then."

Tamaki walked around the school looking for Emma, he had spent the day here on business so he thought they would go home together once she got out of school. That was half an hour ago and still couldn't find her. The clubs she was in weren't running today so then where did she go? Rin hadn't gotten her he told her his plan on his lunch hour.  
"Is something wrong sir? I thought you left a while ago." Seeing the building secretary he wondered if maybe she had seen her.  
"Your daughter? She got into a car once school got out."  
"With a friend?"  
"No she was alone sir but she seemed to know who got her so I didn't question it, I'm sorry."  
"No, it's fine. I have a feeling I know where she went." Pulling out his phone he went to call his father to see if his hunch was right. As he searched through his contacts he noticed Yuzuru was calling him. He wanted to talk to Emma, to make it up to her but it looked like it would have to wait.  
"Join you where? Yea I can be there in ten minutes. No I know you're right and your one step ahead of me father." Hanging up he headed to his car. It was time he made good on his promise.

"This is my father's grave?"  
"It is, it was erected in his honor as part of the Ootori name."  
"And he was a doctor correct, same as my Uncles?"  
"He was."  
Kneeling down she stared at her father's name, she could feel him listening to her. She had always felt him with her, she was certain of it but now she could put a little more detail into the feeling.  
"Daddy, you've been watching over me haven't you? You've been keeping an eye on mom and me throughout the years, thank you. I'm sorry I can't remember you. I want to though and Grandpa says you held on as long as you could for me, so I could never forget that you loved me. Please don't be upset with me for forgetting you."  
"He's not upset Emma; you were his princess, just as you are mine."  
Looking up she saw Tamaki kneeling beside her.  
"I should have helped you hold on to those memoires better. I was just so scared and lost by how to raise you without him and dealing with not having him near me that I locked everything in my heart. In trying to protect myself I forgot about your feelings and I'm so sorry for that Emma."  
"Oh Mommy!"  
Yuzuru stepped back as she cried in Tamaki's arms. This was their time; he did his job it seemed. Soon they both cried on each other until Tamaki realized it was getting late.  
"Let's go home Emma, I promise I'll tell you anything and everything you want to know about your father."  
"Okay mom."  
Standing she took his hand while they said good-bye for now to her dad and went home.

"Emma have you finished your homework?" Tamaki saw her in the living room with her school books scattered across the coffee table. She was sitting on the couch though looking at something else though.  
"Just about. Mom, why can't I remember even one little memory about dad? No matter how many times I go through these albums nothing rings a bell. Sitting next to her he pulled it over to his lap.  
"Well it would help if you grabbed one from after you were born."  
"What's this one?"  
"Our first year wedding anniversary. We took a trip to Aruba. It was your father's idea to spend it away. Did you know he was actually quite the romantic despite what others said."  
She started laughing at that, she had been told he had been considered a very serious, straight forward person.  
"Why does dad have this look on his face in a lot of this photos?"  
"It was a strange vacation…" He knew he was going to have to give more detail though he would really rather not. It was embarrassing to talk about.  
"Oh?"  
"Here I had just gotten stung but a jellyfish after your father told me to be careful, and here I tried a native dish to the area even though he warned me it was extremely spicy. Your father had a sick sense of humor and horrible picture taking timing." He couldn't help but smile as she started to laugh harder. Yep, just like her father.  
"Mom, how come you never remarried?" Resting on his arm she flipped the page over to look at more pictures. "You still have your wedding ring on don't you?"  
Moving his hand slightly he looked at the ring he had tried to take off but couldn't. He knew Kyouya wasn't coming back but still he felt strange without it.  
"Well because I could never find anyone that could replace him. I loved your father so much that no one would ever be as good to me or you as he was. No one could raise you right or love you more than he could and I refused to remarry again just to marry someone. Do you wish I had remarried?"  
"No not really. Sure I am jealous at times over the girls that have theirs to talk to whenever but I'm not mad that I never really grew up with a father or someone to call father. Oh! Was I daddy's girl?"  
"Yes you were as a matter of fact. You had your dad wrapped around your little fingers. You would follow him everywhere and loved to be in his arms. Of course, you were also his princess so he couldn't say no."  
"Yay, I was a daddy's girl!"  
"I don't know if that's something you should be proud of."  
Still he found himself laughing harder at the light shinning in her eyes over the thought.  
"Oh, oh! Do I look like dad!" Holding the book next to her face she waited to hear what he said.  
"Yes you do, though you don't need to compare it with a photo next to your face."  
Moving the book away from her he couldn't get over how beautiful her smile was, probably the only thing that she got from both of them, which of course made it only that much better.  
"So, so!"  
"You have his hair and his eye color though you got my eye strength because you don't need glasses. Not that I would love you less if you did but I swear your dad only wore them so no one including me could see into his soul."  
Emma sat with Tamaki for hours while they talked about Kyouya and looked over the albums and explained them all to her. They all stopped when he realized she had homework to finish.

Emma sat on the living room floor under the TV in the entertainment center looking for tapes. Alice was besides her sniffing all the ones she pulled out.  
"Hey Emma have you seen, what are you doing?" Tamaki stood behind the couch surprised to see her digging for something. All of her movies were right in the front and on a totally separate rack.  
"Oh mom your home from work today, I forgot."  
"Yes I am, your grandfather insisted and since the school is closed for the holiday I have the day off. Now what are you looking for?"  
"Did you or dad ever take any videos?"  
"Still trying to remember something?" She had been trying for months now last he remembered. "But no, not really. Your dad wasn't one for recording things. Pictures sure, videos not so much."  
"Oh hey what's this?" Reaching towards the back she pulled out one with just date written on the cover. Bringing it over she went to show it to him, the date was today's only a different year.  
"This? Oh this is our wedding."  
"Can we watch it? Oh can we please, please, please?" She started jumping up and down hoping he would say yes.  
"Sorry Emma but not today." He wasn't up to it, not on the day that was supposed to be its anniversary. It would have been seventeen years today, was that possible already?  
"Oh, okay mom."  
"I need to run out for a little bit want to visit your grandfather, or would you rather stay here with Rin?"  
Figuring he was going to visit her dad for a little while like he did every year she decided to stay home. She knew this was their day and it would feel weird to ask and join him, plus she really didn't feel like leaving. Maybe while she was home she could come up with a plan that would make her mom happy.

Tamaki searched the house once he was home for Emma. The living room was empty, she wasn't outside or in her bedroom, the only place left was the kitchen. Seeing she wasn't here either he left to start the search back at the beginning. He didn't figure that she left the house without leaving a note for him. Passing the living room he heard the TV on, that was weird he could have sworn the room was empty. Perhaps they had passed each other in his search. Going into the room he froze at what the TV was one, it was his wedding. He couldn't breathe, tears stormed his eyes ready to fall at any moment as he heard them start to exchange vows.  
"Mom, don't cry. I wanted you to be happy. I'm sorry if I upset you." Jumping off the couch she moved to him to apologize better. She hid and got the tape to this point while he was out believing he would be happy and smile not start to cry.  
"Oh Emma." Wrapping his arms around her he held her tight. She was an amazing child and truly got better as she got older. "I'm not upset, your amazing."  
"Just like my dad?"  
"No! Just like me!" They both started laughing even though Tamaki still had tears in his eyes.  
"Princess, what do you say we watch this together from the beginning? Want to do that with me?"  
"Sure mom!"  
Taking his hand they sat on the couch so the video could be restarted. This was the first time he ever actually watched their wedding video, including when Kyouya was still alive.

Emma leaned against Tamaki amazed at how beautiful her parents' wedding was. She hoped whenever she got married it was as beautiful. They were also madly in love with each other back then. She could tell it lasted the entire time they were together and even now her mother still loved her dad. Her parents truly had a love that would never die, and that was what she wanted to. Nothing else would do for her, not when she saw how wonderful true love was.  
"Oh! Stay here!" She fell across the couch as Tamaki jumped off.  
"Mom?"  
"I'll be right back!"  
Running down the hall he went into the office and pulled the key out of the center draw of the desk. Opening the locked bottom draw he saw the neatly placed, untouched drawings Kyouya had made while he had been home when Emma was a year or so old. Looking over them he was again stunned at how good of an artist he was, so talented. Leaving the three for him on the desk he brought one of the two for her with him. Going back to Emma he saw she was leaning against the back of the couch while she waited for him to come back.  
"Whatcha got there mom?"  
"Something I want you to have, well half anyway. The other half you'll get on your birthday." Sitting back down he showed her the one drawing.  
"Oh wow, this is so pretty, the colors are perfect, each detail is in line leaving nothing extra. I wish I could draw like this someday."  
"Well you probably can if you keep at it since your already quite good and your dad made this for you."  
"For me? So I can keep it?"  
"That would be why I am giving it to you."  
Watching her eyes light up and her smiled cover her face he knew he couldn't have picked a better time to give this to her.  
"Thank you so much mom! I love it so much! Can we go out and get a frame so I can hang it up on the wall?"  
"Sure Emma."  
She couldn't tear her eyes from the picture. At only twelve she was always caught drawing or at the piano and was doing well in both. She was so talented and he wasn't just saying that because she was her daughter but because she was really talented.

Emma stood proudly on her bed as she stared at her framed drawing her mom gave her earlier from her dad. She placed it with the others that had been there since she was a baby.  
"Thank you daddy. I love it." Jumping off her bed she grabbed Alice so she could lay with her as always. Smiling at the picture of her father on her headboard she stared at it hoping she was making him proud. She already had her mom's blessing to follow his footsteps and become a doctor with no pressure that there was no one for her mother's company. She planned to become a doctor while finding a way to incorporate her talents in the arts as well.  
"Emma, I told you it was time for bed."  
"Sorry mom, going now." Busted she put the picture back down and got into bed. Right as Tamaki went to turn the light out she stopped him.  
"Do you think dad is happy of who I am becoming? That I am making him proud?" Walking over to sit with her he laughed at her sweet innocence.  
"I'm sure he is. I am proud of you and if I am then he is too. Then again you're our daughter so how could we not be." Saying good night he turned her light out and left the room.

Getting to his room he laid in bed for a second before getting back up and going into his closet. Moving some stuff on the floor he pulled out the giant tote full of pictures, tomorrow after he got home from work he would see if Emma wanted to help him place them in albums…and organize them by year and month order. Going back into bed he stared at where Kyouya used to be at one point.  
"Hear that Kyouya, your daughter wants to know if you are proud of her."  
_"I heard."_  
"Hadn't heard you in a while, thought you might have gotten bored here." Hearing nothing he just smiled as he went to sleep for the night. As he laid there he felt warmth around him, a comforting touch, one he would never forget for as long as he lived. His smile blossomed on his face as he felt a gentle touch running down starting up by his closed eyes.  
_"God I still love that smile."_  
"God I still love you."  
Hearing that perfect voice in his head he drifted off to sleep in a soft pillow of his memories.  
"Happy Anniversary Kyouya."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Sorry this took so long things have been a little crazy here. But the chapter hopefully was worth it, both in length and material. This ends Take My Hand, and it's been quite a ride if I do say so myself. 26 chapters and 346 hand written pages. I hope everyone enjoyed it and be sure to check out my other stuff. Please review and leave thoughts for they even mean a lot to me. Thanks again for reading, love ya.  
~Femalefighter~


	27. Epilogue

This was not written by me. This was written by ilovezim123 so all should say thank you to her. She would also like you all to know that "that the kiku in this story does not connect with the personification of Japan in any way. It was  
just the first name that popped in to my head."

Thank you and hope you enjoy it as much as I did. ~Femalefighter~

Emma Rose, Otori-Honda sat in front of two headstones. One was old and weathered and the other was just a few weeks old. Her mother had died two weeks ago and she had visited his grave ever since. Beside her was her husband Kiku and their daughter Sakura. The little girl lied a branch of the blossoms that she was named after on her grandmother's grave. She looked up and smiled at the sky because she knew her grandparents were together again.

-

Up in heaven Tamaki and Kyouya looked down on their loved ones back on earth. "You did a good job with her Tamaki. I knew you would."

"She grew up to be just like you though. And I wouldn't have it any other way." The two kissed and went on watching their daughter with her own daughter and a son on the way. Perfectly happy.


End file.
